Damn. For all that work why not just go to college and get a real job.
Why not just spend the 50K on things you always wanted but didn’t need. Like a Ukrainian Harem, for instance.
[quote]dopeman wrote:
Why not just spend the 50K on things you always wanted but didn’t need. Like a Ukrainian Harem, for instance.[/quote]
because then there would be no need to launder the money, which is my current fascination. so for the sake of the exercise, let’s add an extra zero and make it $250,000. now what do you do with it? I’m smuggling it $10K at a time into foreign countries to deposit into offshore bank accounts
I would still invest my taxable income and spend my booty as needed. It may take a few years but you will be far ahead, and probably won’t get caught because your life style does not match your income
[quote]skaz05 wrote:
Just put it in the washing machine with a scoop of tide!
I did laundry this morning, I have been using cheer with color guard.[/quote]
lol
what about money orders? can you use money orders to pay for rent, utilities, etc.? or will that just throw up red flags?
Here are some things you can say.
- Drug dealer.
- Assassin.
- Importer of illegal immigrants.
- Pimp.
- Kliplemet.
Nah, open a auto repair shop out of your house.
Rebuild a classic car.
[quote]belligerent wrote:
… so for the sake of the exercise, let’s add an extra zero and make it $250,000. now what do you do with it? I’m smuggling it $10K at a time into foreign countries to deposit into offshore bank accounts[/quote]
That kind of money is trickier. EE’s method does work (I’ve also seen it done) but with amounts this high in the UK it could still draw the attention of other government departments well outside the police.
So, if the money is stolen and there’s a good chance the serial numbers are known, speak to a professional. I know that living where I do and knowing some of the people I know, I could probably contact someone within 24 hours that could clean that amount or more for me.
Assuming the serials are not known …
Get it paid into an offshore bank account. Swiss bank accounts are hard to get but very secure and no questions asked. You’d still need to shift the money over there but 10k a time into foreign countries would do the trick nicely as you say.
Finally, you could launder it yourself. Set up a business (services only - you don’t want to have to show stock purchase invoices), put a few adverts in the local papers - “Advanced PC repairs” or something. register the business with the tax people in your country. Draw up some books of your “income” and expenditure (fuel bills etc) and start banking the money over a 12-18 month period (would have to be longer in the UK so as not to arouse Customs & Excise suspicions). Draw wages from the bankings, pay your taxes on your “profits”.
When all the money is in, close the business. No excuse is needed as you won’t owe anybody any money.
I actually know of a small cafe (through a friend in the business) that used to make profits of around 100,000 pounds sterling each year. Strange how they hardly ever had any customers. The place was always packed when the tax man visited though.
Get multiple online bank accounts preferebly businesses. Under different ID’s. Go into banks and get a few real accounts at different banks. Say you saved up 5000 since you were 10 years old to now and this is your first bank account at each bank. Deposit the money. Then compile the money into the various online accounts until you have 3(FDIC100k) 1 each for 100,000, and 1 for 50.
Buy gold and put it in a safety deposit box. You can sell it when you need the money and it has been a hell of an investment the last couple of years. I believe it has doubled in price in the last 2 years.
[quote]hoosegow wrote:
Buy gold and put it in a safety deposit box. You can sell it when you need the money and it has been a hell of an investment the last couple of years. I believe it has doubled in price in the last 2 years.[/quote]
Have you ever tried to buy gold with a suitcase full of cash?
This is an interesting topic…
I heard of someone who was honeymooning in Florida and went for an early morning walk on the beach. They spotted 2 big duffle bags floating in the water, which were filled with $$$$$, from a busted drug deal probably. They got the money but wtf would you do with it? They’ve got a couple of million bucks but it sits in the basement.
[quote]electric_eales wrote:
hoosegow wrote:
Buy gold and put it in a safety deposit box. You can sell it when you need the money and it has been a hell of an investment the last couple of years. I believe it has doubled in price in the last 2 years.
Have you ever tried to buy gold with a suitcase full of cash?
[/quote]
Yes.
(j/k)
OK guys so here’s why I ask.
About a year and a half ago I decided that I was going to commit suicide… I honestly had no intention of living to see the year 2007. So I took out three different college loans worth about $120,000 total and blew it all in a few months flying around the world and screaming up and down the I-5 corridor in a Porche. I probably hold the world record for making the fastest trip from Canada to Mexico. I took up pot smoking during this time too. Anyway, I had so much fun that I decided not to kill myselef after all. So now I’m not dead and I have these massive loans to pay off… so I had to find a way to make the money back. That part is taken care of, but now I have to find a way to get it in the bank.
[quote]belligerent wrote:
OK guys so here’s why I ask.
About a year and a half ago I decided that I was going to commit suicide… I honestly had no intention of living to see the year 2007. So I took out three different college loans worth about $120,000 total and blew it all in a few months flying around the world and screaming up and down the I-5 corridor in a Porche. I probably hold the world record for making the fastest trip from Canada to Mexico. I took up pot smoking during this time too. Anyway, I had so much fun that I decided not to kill myselef after all. So now I’m not dead and I have these massive loans to pay off… so I had to find a way to make the money back. That part is taken care of, but now I have to find a way to get it in the bank.
[/quote]
and your happy to post this info on the WWW?
the company idea is the best one I think for that kind of money.
P.S.
You do realise you are now going to get 3000 PM’s asking how to make loads of cash (one from me)
I am glad you decided not to kill yourself; I wish you luck paying your loans off
This won’t help you get the money in the bank, but a good way to launder money - to get fresh serial numbers - is to stop off at Vegas. Buy 5 grand in chips, play Black Jack for a while, cash in your chips. Repeat at next casino with the next 5 grand. Have fun until you’ve exchanged it all.
Maybe when you get home you could claim it as winnings. You’d pay tax on it but at least have an explanation for it’s existence.
How about sticking it in a safety deposit box?
[quote]belligerent wrote:
I probably hold the world record for making the fastest trip from Canada to Mexico.[/quote]
How many tickets did you get in Oregon? That state is evil… wide open highways that are smooth as glass with only a 65mph speed limit. Of course they have a cop every few miles. I’m convinced the state focuses on out of state drivers to supplement it’s income.
[quote]belligerent wrote:
OK guys so here’s why I ask.
About a year and a half ago I decided that I was going to commit suicide… I honestly had no intention of living to see the year 2007. So I took out three different college loans worth about $120,000 total and blew it all in a few months flying around the world and screaming up and down the I-5 corridor in a Porche. I probably hold the world record for making the fastest trip from Canada to Mexico. I took up pot smoking during this time too. Anyway, I had so much fun that I decided not to kill myselef after all. So now I’m not dead and I have these massive loans to pay off… so I had to find a way to make the money back. That part is taken care of, but now I have to find a way to get it in the bank.
[/quote]
alright the truth… this is just a bullshit story i made up to get responses, apparently it wasn’t as interesting as i though but, hey, it was worth a try
[quote]on edge wrote:
belligerent wrote:
I probably hold the world record for making the fastest trip from Canada to Mexico.
How many tickets did you get in Oregon? That state is evil… wide open highways that are smooth as glass with only a 65mph speed limit. Of course they have a cop every few miles. I’m convinced the state focuses on out of state drivers to supplement it’s income.[/quote]
hell yes… i got tickets on the way back from both my last two trips to Eugene