Everything in my life is going right: I’m an Eagle Scout, straight A engineering student at Georgia Tech, weightlifter, handsome guy, etc…the only problem is that my social skills and communication skills are not great. I don’t mean communication skills as in email or writing a letter, I mean being able to hold good conversations.
Is there a good book I can read on how to get awesome conversation/social/communication skills?
thanks.
A book won’t teach you how to hold a conversation. Actually talking will, get up and go live
“How to Make Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie is considered a classic.
If you come across as smug in person as you do on the internets, I see your problem.
[quote]theuofh wrote:
“How to Make Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie is considered a classic. [/quote]
Yes, that’s a good one. Then get your butt out there and DO IT. Just talk to people and eventually it will become easy.
Also, stop describing yourself as an eagle scout, it may be a great accomplishment to you and your family but it doesn’t mean shit to most people.
smug
If you say that someone is smug, you are criticizing the fact they seem very pleased with how good, clever, or lucky they are. adj
(disapproval) Thomas and his wife looked at each other in smug satisfaction.
The Dale Carnegie book is excellent. But like everything else, you get better by practicing. Make it a point to talk to strangers, girls in class, everyone you can. This day in age, building a social network is a key to success in almost every endeavor.
Learn to pick up women.
[quote]MarvelGirl wrote:
[quote]theuofh wrote:
“How to Make Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie is considered a classic. [/quote]
Also, stop describing yourself as an eagle scout, it may be a great accomplishment to you and your family but it doesn’t mean shit to most people.[/quote]
but if I get lost in the woods with an 09er I know who id wanna pick
[quote]theuofh wrote:
Also, stop describing yourself as an eagle scout, it may be a great accomplishment to you and your family but it doesn’t mean shit to most people.[/quote]
You mad because I actually achieved something meaningful my youth? What were you out doing when you were a teen? Drinking or smoking? Because when I was a teen (still am) I was out doing 200 hour community service projects, helping other people, learning life skills, and serving my community.
I think being an Eagle Scout is a highly respected honor to people who know anything about being an upstanding citizen.
[quote]jdinatale wrote:
[quote]theuofh wrote:
Also, stop describing yourself as an eagle scout, it may be a great accomplishment to you and your family but it doesn’t mean shit to most people.[/quote]
You mad because I actually achieved something meaningful my youth? What were you out doing when you were a teen? Drinking or smoking? Because when I was a teen (still am) I was out doing 200 hour community service projects, helping other people, learning life skills, and serving my community.
I think being an Eagle Scout is a highly respected honor to people who know anything about being an upstanding citizen.
[/quote]
You came here asking for advice and advice was given. You can evaluate the advice yourself and judge it good or bad of course, but don’t insult the giver. You asked for it.
I’m not an American so I don’t know the significance of being an eagle scout, but I have a hunch that while it may be a major achievement in your social circle, those who have not been associated with scouts in their lives don’t actually give a shit about it.
I’ve noticed that people care much more about who you are as opposed to what you have achieved (outside of job interviews and school).
As Einstein once said: Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.
I’m not sure what the hell that means, but go to toast makers, and read carnegies books on talking to people. And practice.
[quote]theuofh wrote:
“How to Make Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie is considered a classic. [/quote]
yup yup yup.
It is a very good book. I don’t have a problem with being social (though this book is much more than that), but it did give me some very good pointers… i.e., saying a person’s name when you see them goes a long way, not just Hey Man or Hey What’s up… People love hearing their names. Like even if someone says blah blah blah PB Andy blah blah blah I jizz in my pants.
[quote]jdinatale wrote:
Everything in my life is going right: I’m an Eagle Scout, straight A engineering student at Georgia Tech, weightlifter, handsome guy, etc…the only problem is that my social skills and communication skills are not great. I don’t mean communication skills as in email or writing a letter, I mean being able to hold good conversations.
Is there a good book I can read on how to get awesome conversation/social/communication skills?
thanks.[/quote]
OK I actually read this so I’ll take it a bit more seriously.
Honestly it just comes down to how a person is. Some people are more social than others, it’s just how life is. But that doesn’t mean you just accept that. You sometimes have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations, i.e., not pussing out and going to a bar and talking to a woman. I may have just simplified that, but it IS JUST AS EASY AS THAT. GRAB A DRINK AND TALK TO A WOMAN. DONE AND DONE, FAIL OR NOT. IT DOESN’T MATTER.
[quote]jdinatale wrote:
[quote]theuofh wrote:
Also, stop describing yourself as an eagle scout, it may be a great accomplishment to you and your family but it doesn’t mean shit to most people.[/quote]
You mad because I actually achieved something meaningful my youth? What were you out doing when you were a teen? Drinking or smoking? Because when I was a teen (still am) I was out doing 200 hour community service projects, helping other people, learning life skills, and serving my community.
I think being an Eagle Scout is a highly respected honor to people who know anything about being an upstanding citizen.
[/quote]
Dude, don’t take it too hard, these guys are giving you excellent advice-and #1 on the list of excellent advice is nobody cares what awards you won in HS/college/scouting/anything. Its not a dig or a slight. After all, you’re not your own trophy case, are you?
I’d second every thing said here and suggest that when you talk to people pay attention to a couple things; first, observe carefully how people respond to things you say and what kind of attitude you have while saying it. Second, observe other people carefully what they do and how they do it, especially if they get the kind of reponse from others you desire. Copy them and modify as necessary until you do get that response. How you say it is far more important than the actual content.
Oh yeah and watch Zorbra the Greek, which is an excellent movie and probably relevant to your situation.
[quote]Standard Donkey wrote:
[quote]MarvelGirl wrote:
[quote]theuofh wrote:
“How to Make Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie is considered a classic. [/quote]
Also, stop describing yourself as an eagle scout, it may be a great accomplishment to you and your family but it doesn’t mean shit to most people.[/quote]
but if I get lost in the woods with an 09er I know id wanna pick a good spot to hide the body.[/quote]
[quote]jdinatale wrote:
[quote]theuofh wrote:
Also, stop describing yourself as an eagle scout, it may be a great accomplishment to you and your family but it doesn’t mean shit to most people.[/quote]
You mad because I actually achieved something meaningful my youth? What were you out doing when you were a teen? Drinking or smoking? Because when I was a teen (still am) I was out doing 200 hour community service projects, helping other people, learning life skills, and serving my community.
I think being an Eagle Scout is a highly respected honor to people who know anything about being an upstanding citizen.
[/quote]
Yes I’m a flaming piece of shit because I didn’t join the boyscouts. Damn my lack of a penis!
Enjoy being socially retarded for the rest of your life douchebag. You and all the other super successful eagle scouts can sit around and jerk each other off while you cry about how everybody sucks because you’re SO AWESOME but nobody likes you.
Good luck with that.
One last piece of advice, if you can’t get along with people it’s YOUR fault, not EVERBODY ELSE’S.
[quote]jdinatale wrote:
[quote]theuofh wrote:
Also, stop describing yourself as an eagle scout, it may be a great accomplishment to you and your family but it doesn’t mean shit to most people.[/quote]
You mad because I actually achieved something meaningful my youth? What were you out doing when you were a teen? Drinking or smoking? Because when I was a teen (still am) I was out doing 200 hour community service projects, helping other people, learning life skills, and serving my community.
I think being an Eagle Scout is a highly respected honor to people who know anything about being an upstanding citizen.
[/quote]
When I was a teenager I was socializing and getting laid…
Don’t masturbate for a few weeks. It works some voodoo shit on your vocabulary, guaranteed.
[quote]jdinatale wrote:
[quote]theuofh wrote:
Also, stop describing yourself as an eagle scout, it may be a great accomplishment to you and your family but it doesn’t mean shit to most people.[/quote]
You mad because I actually achieved something meaningful my youth? What were you out doing when you were a teen? Drinking or smoking? Because when I was a teen (still am) I was out doing 200 hour community service projects, helping other people, learning life skills, and serving my community.
I think being an Eagle Scout is a highly respected honor to people who know anything about being an upstanding citizen.
[/quote]
This is why you’re bad with people. You think your accomplishments mean something, and they might, but no one else cares about the shit you did, only the person you are. And you seem like a douchebag. Just because someone doesn’t tell you what you want to hear, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen.