Giving Up on Women

Off Topic
402

Some women also want to wait to see how men turn out as they advance through their 20s.

A., for example, said that she did not want to settle down until she could choose a partner knowing that his goals and values were fixed.

??I?ve always heard this phrase, ?Oh, marriage is great, or relationships are great ? you get to go on this journey of change together,? ? she said. ?That sounds terrible.

?I don?t want to go through those changes with you. I want you to have changed and become enough of your own person so that when you meet me, we can have a stable life and be very happy.?

…

Yeah, they want the finished product.

Alas, those men then have options, much more than she does, and she was not there when he became what he became

…

?Ten years from now, no one will remember ? I will not remember ? who I have slept with,? A. said. ?But I will remember, like, my transcript, because it?s still there. I will remember what I did. I will remember my accomplishments and places my name is hung on campus.?

…

You wont.

They will.

403

[quote]orion wrote:
Some women also want to wait to see how men turn out as they advance through their 20s.

A., for example, said that she did not want to settle down until she could choose a partner knowing that his goals and values were fixed.

??I?ve always heard this phrase, ?Oh, marriage is great, or relationships are great ? you get to go on this journey of change together,? ? she said. ?That sounds terrible.

?I don?t want to go through those changes with you. I want you to have changed and become enough of your own person so that when you meet me, we can have a stable life and be very happy.?

…

Yeah, they want the finished product.

Alas, those men then have options, much more than she does, and she was not there when he became what he became

…

?Ten years from now, no one will remember ? I will not remember ? who I have slept with,? A. said. ?But I will remember, like, my transcript, because it?s still there. I will remember what I did. I will remember my accomplishments and places my name is hung on campus.?

…

You wont.

They will.

[/quote]
I think the “seeing the trees and not the forest” proverb applies

404

Could somebody please explain the issue with a woman who was promiscuous? If she’s used to cheating, fine, I get it; but if my girl enjoyed herself before my time and didn’t catch an STD, get pregnant or develop nasty habits, that’s up to her. Just like it is up to me how many girls I sleep with as long as I don’t cheat.

(if you agree with the last part of the last sentence but nothing else… you may have double standards)

I don’t believe in orion’s evolutionary arguments, as little as I believe in the paleo diet. If you take a look at history (and a GOOD look too, including non-western societies and ones that existed 1000+ years ago), you’ll find that gender roles have greatly differed among them. MRA’s just like to pretend that 19th century middle class standards are the way it is intended by nature - in reality, I think they sound like whiny bitches who miss the good old times where they were the ones who could have all the fun.

405

QFT

Wow that article hit the nail on the head.

406

Actually, this is by no means a recent phenomenon. Check out Michael Crichton’s autobiography Travels, written in 2002, where he talks about how men are the ones with the romantic notion of love and sex, not necessarily women.

407

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]SickSex6 wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]PB Andy wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]RonSwanson wrote:
I guess I should’ve elaborated a bit more…
… a great group of friends, and no problem whatsoever talking to girls. [/quote]

It’s been awhile, but I’m gonna take a stab at this. If you do this, you should at least be able to lean in and kiss a girl in the next month or two. BTW, height is not an issue. The sweet spot in terms of attractiveness in men is probably 5’4" to 5’10". I’m not quite 5’2".

Hanging out in a friend group where there are both men and women is not where you want to be. You need to meet a new woman who is not currently a friend, or someone who already hangs out in a large group with you. It’s easier to stay out of the friend zone if you never go there. Do not wait around for one of those girls you are already friends with to make a move.

You are a student. Meet someone new from one of your classes. Ask her to do something with you, NOT with you and a bunch of people. Just you. Even if it’s walking over to the coffee cart so you can look at her notes after class. Whatever. As soon as you can, establish some touching. When you open the door for her, touch her back or waist. If you are crossing a busy parking lot, take her by the hand. If she has her hand on the table, put your hand on her hand and give it a little squeeze. If you are sitting together, touch her knee. This stuff is really subtle, but it makes it clear that you think of her as more than just a friend. It’s a little bit possessive and protective. When you part, give her a hug if you can or take her hand and sqeeze it. If she hugs you back, or lingers, you’re in. Then, next time if you ask her to do something and she blows you off, move on. You might try this with 10 women before you find someone who is unattached and interested. You will know if she reciprocates because she’ll smile and make eye contact more, and won’t pull away.
[/quote]

5’4" to 5’10"???

Jeez, I’m so far from the sweet spot that I’m downright sour![/quote]
agreed, what the fuck is that shit? FUck![/quote]

Some people like leggy blonds with big breasts. Or curvy Latinas. Dammit. I’m neither leggy, curvy, or Latina. Please advise.

[/quote]

Squat and deadlift heavy. Short girls always win the ass thigh and calf battle. Also cut your hair short if it already isnt.

[/quote]

Yes!!! like this?[/quote]

Ahhh for fuck sake. Beth grow your hair. You will find a guy here and there who like short hair and half of those will be white knighteres who just say that because they want to get in your pants. The overwhelming majority of men prefer LONG hair. You’ve got that hot body so why limit the impact you make on us poor guys? Grow your hair out, take care of it so it’s shiny and luxurious and make us drool! It’s tuff to have a hot body, why fail at something so easy as hair?

409

Varq & Chush like long hair.

411

[quote]Chushin wrote:
This, for me, is the most significant line in the article:

[i]Women said universally that hookups could not exist without alcohol, because they were for the most part too uncomfortable to pair off with men they did not know well without being drunk.[/i}

If you have to be drunk to do it, you shouldn’t be doing it.[/quote]

I agree. I posted something in this thread a few days ago about chicks & drunken sex.

412

[quote]Chushin wrote:
This, for me, is the most significant line in the article:

Women said universally that hookups could not exist without alcohol, because they were for the most part too uncomfortable to pair off with men they did not know well without being drunk.

If you have to be drunk to do it, you shouldn’t be doing it.[/quote]

I agree. That being said, I’m close to teetotal these days anyway and drunk people annoy me…

413

I don’t want to be drunk when I’m having sex

414

1856×2784 286 KB

[quote]on edge wrote:
Varq & Chush like long hair.[/quote]

For the most part this is true. However there are exceptions. Here’s one.

415

394×594 44 KB

Obviously, I prefer this woman with long, long raven hair… but I would gladly take her even if she were shaved as bald as Sinead o’Connor.

416

I was very briefly involved with a young woman who bore a striking resemblance to Anne Hathaway, or at least, how Anne Hathaway may have looked at twenty.

Green eyes, pale skin, voluptuous lips, black hair down to her lower back. Long, long legs, the body of a dancer. 5’7" (as tall as myself), 110 pounds with a tiny waist, ample, perfectly symmetrical breasts, and a firm, round ass.

She was also the smartest, most unabashedly straightforward and non-sentimental woman I have ever known, and the best sexual partner I have ever had.

She only had two conditions to our relationship: one, that we would use condoms, and two, that we would not become emotionally involved. “I like you,” she said, “and I like fucking you. But I’m just not into romance and attachment.”

We had a pretty good thing going for a little while. Until, of course, I fucked everything up by falling in love with her.

What a woman. I doubt I’ll ever find another like her, but I’ll spend the rest of my life searching.

And no, I will not post pictures. Not that she’d mind, being a nude model with a very active webcam channel, but no, so don’t ask.

417

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:
Varq & Chush like long hair.[/quote]

How the HELL do you know that?

But it is SO true.[/quote]

I’m in that club.

I may be wrong but not every women can pull off the short cuts. But most women look better with longer hair.

418

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]theBeth wrote:

[quote]SickSex6 wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]PB Andy wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]RonSwanson wrote:
I guess I should’ve elaborated a bit more…
… a great group of friends, and no problem whatsoever talking to girls. [/quote]

It’s been awhile, but I’m gonna take a stab at this. If you do this, you should at least be able to lean in and kiss a girl in the next month or two. BTW, height is not an issue. The sweet spot in terms of attractiveness in men is probably 5’4" to 5’10". I’m not quite 5’2".

Hanging out in a friend group where there are both men and women is not where you want to be. You need to meet a new woman who is not currently a friend, or someone who already hangs out in a large group with you. It’s easier to stay out of the friend zone if you never go there. Do not wait around for one of those girls you are already friends with to make a move.

You are a student. Meet someone new from one of your classes. Ask her to do something with you, NOT with you and a bunch of people. Just you. Even if it’s walking over to the coffee cart so you can look at her notes after class. Whatever. As soon as you can, establish some touching. When you open the door for her, touch her back or waist. If you are crossing a busy parking lot, take her by the hand. If she has her hand on the table, put your hand on her hand and give it a little squeeze. If you are sitting together, touch her knee. This stuff is really subtle, but it makes it clear that you think of her as more than just a friend. It’s a little bit possessive and protective. When you part, give her a hug if you can or take her hand and sqeeze it. If she hugs you back, or lingers, you’re in. Then, next time if you ask her to do something and she blows you off, move on. You might try this with 10 women before you find someone who is unattached and interested. You will know if she reciprocates because she’ll smile and make eye contact more, and won’t pull away.
[/quote]

5’4" to 5’10"???

Jeez, I’m so far from the sweet spot that I’m downright sour![/quote]
agreed, what the fuck is that shit? FUck![/quote]

Some people like leggy blonds with big breasts. Or curvy Latinas. Dammit. I’m neither leggy, curvy, or Latina. Please advise.

[/quote]

Squat and deadlift heavy. Short girls always win the ass thigh and calf battle. Also cut your hair short if it already isnt.

[/quote]

Yes!!! like this?[/quote]

Ahhh for fuck sake. Beth grow your hair. You will find a guy here and there who like short hair and half of those will be white knighteres who just say that because they want to get in your pants. The overwhelming majority of men prefer LONG hair. You’ve got that hot body so why limit the impact you make on us poor guys? Grow your hair out, take care of it so it’s shiny and luxurious and make us drool! It’s tuff to have a hot body, why fail at something so easy as hair?[/quote]

Most guys do, I’ll give you that. A. I can pull of the short hair B. I find it attracts the kind of guys I actually want. When I had long hair I got chased by skanky guys who were deficient in intellect. I find hair length seems to be way more important to guys with strong patriarchal opinions. I’m all set with that. I’m not a feminist by any means, and my hair does not detract from my femininity.

419

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
I was very briefly involved with a young woman who bore a striking resemblance to Anne Hathaway, or at least, how Anne Hathaway may have looked at twenty.

Green eyes, pale skin, voluptuous lips, black hair down to her lower back. Long, long legs, the body of a dancer. 5’7" (as tall as myself), 110 pounds with a tiny waist, ample, perfectly symmetrical breasts, and a firm, round ass.

She was also the smartest, most unabashedly straightforward and non-sentimental woman I have ever known, and the best sexual partner I have ever had.

She only had two conditions to our relationship: one, that we would use condoms, and two, that we would not become emotionally involved. “I like you,” she said, “and I like fucking you. But I’m just not into romance and attachment.”

We had a pretty good thing going for a little while. Until, of course, I fucked everything up by falling in love with her.

What a woman. I doubt I’ll ever find another like her, but I’ll spend the rest of my life searching.

And no, I will not post pictures. Not that she’d mind, being a nude model with a very active webcam channel, but no, so don’t ask. [/quote]

I find this vindicating, since you seem to be pretty close to my “type”.

420

[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:

[quote]ProphetofDoom wrote:
I’m a 26 year old virgin who’s never dated.[/quote]

you are among friends![/quote]

How does keeping sex within a committed relationship or marriage (for whatever reason religious or otherwise), EQUATE to “I am almost 20 and have never kissed a girl”?

Most people can completely respect religious and ethical CHOICES regarding sex. I’m in that boat myself.

The topic -

The OP is hanging out with men and women in groups, says he has “no trouble talking to girls”, but has reached the age of 19 without getting lucky and having someone attractive kiss him or make a really obvious pass. Maybe he’s waiting for something to just happen. Several of you said you got your first kiss or sexual experience that way. It landed in your lap without a lot of planning or forethought. I’m not sure that Orion’s philosophical theory of women is going to help him out with that.

OP - It’s been awhile since we heard from you.

421

Let me just state one more time FOR THE RECORD that I work with teens and young adults and encounter all the same attitudes I did when I was that age and that I find in my peers now. I have teen girls who match the calculating user cousin who complains that there are no good men, while I work with romantic girls who are either in love or looking to fall into it for good.

I have the extra-smart kids example I’ve used before, a year out of college and now engaged while he is in graduate school and she makes an impressive income for her age. They’ve been exclusive since her sophomore/his junior year with the exception of a semester one of them took abroad soon after they met, but as far as I know neither dated anyone else during that time.

I feel like I have as many close personal examples of boys and girls and men and women working together in exclusive relationships as Orion has had encounters with women.

I have also observed that there can be a problem finding men for high achieving women who have stayed single into their thirties and forties, but my observation would seem to suggest that this has to do with a certain lack of flexibility that develops in these women. Women coming out of long term relationships (myself included) know how to share space and compromise. I don’t see those 30s and 40s friends, or even older, thinking about it, having trouble on the dating market assuming they have desirable qualities, which my close associates generally do.