So I’m trying to get my gf to build some muscle, since she asked me to help her out with her bad eating habits. She agrees to the nutrition part, however refuses to lift weights. Not because she’s afraid that she’s gonna be like female bodybuilders, but for w/e other reason.
Now, she does kickboxing and as I said, for whatever reason is seriously against lifting weights. I agree that kickboxing is a mean workout, but does it really build muscles?
In her own words: “the shit they make us do at the kickboxing place makes you build muscle, weights are not the only way to build muscle”
when asked about what does the usual session look like: “first stretching, then take rounds doing different punches and kicks at the bag, in between rounds do squats, lunges, push ups, fore arms and toes, then finally abs, then stretch again”
Now that looks like a whole lot of cardio. One may even argue they’re getting something out of it cuz of the squats and lunges and shit(even though I doubt they do that. Cuz really, how NOT intense are the rounds that you’re still able to do squats inbetween?). But I still don’t think that it’s enough to build muscle.
Am I wrong here? What am I missing?
How to go about this situation?
My cousin has a fair bit of muscle on her for a 16 year old and she is the Australian champion for her weight class and she dosnt lift weights but does a lot of chip ups and push up squats etc in her classes but she trains twice a day 5 days a week so that might be different.
But I think the point you are missing is maybe she dosnt want to build muscle and if she does after 12 months and theres been no gains she can see for her self what her next step will be.
Why not let her do her own thing. This way she’ll ‘own’ whatever she accomplishes and will keep it up because she did it for herself and not to get you off her back. You’re not gong to win this one!
Deb: 1st of all- i <3 you. (don’t ask)
And then-see she wanted to “tone up.” What that USUALLY means is to lose fat and add some muscle. Trust me, last thing I want is to be in the gym with her. Not because I don’t wanna help, but because I don’t think that I can help her out in that 60-90 sec breaks between sets when im changing weights and trying to catch my breath.
And it’s not that i don’t want her to do her own thing. I just think it’s not gonna bring the expected results. Then again, I might be wrong
It sounds like she’s doing a fairly solid bodyweight routine at the moment during kickboxing classes. Especially if she’s not all that strong, bodyweight exercises should be enough to get her started. And if she likes how she feels when she gets stronger at bodyweight exercises, then perhaps you can show her some weight exercises a bit down the track.
My girlfriend doesn’t lift weights either. But she has asked me recently what she can do for exercise. I don’t want to put her off by getting her to do something she doesn’t want to do (she’s told me she builds muscle really quickly, and doesn’t want to lift weights), but she’s keen to start something. So baby steps.
BTW, I was lifting weights behind my boyfriend’s back for almost 6 months partly because I didn’t want to be coached. But he did sometime previously demonstrate squats, deadlifts and bench. Sometime later, I started doing them (quietly).
So maybe it wouldn’t hurt to give a one time demo and leave it at that?
[quote]Standard Donkey wrote:
imo she should never leave the kitchen unless it’s to clean up the house.[/quote]
I laughed out loud.
If I’ve learned anything about my girlfriend, it’s that the harder I push for something, the harder she pushes back against it. An aggressive approach isn’t going to be your best strategy here.
I might start “planting seeds” (like demoing, as Deb suggested) that have to do with lifting weights, but nothing direct or otherwise she might avoid it that much harder.
She probably is going to put on a little muscle from the kick boxing classes. Maybe even a decent amount.
Here’s an idea:
Try being supportive of the kick boxing. Buy her cute gloves, maybe even some practice bags and let her get good. Eventually she will hit the point where in order to get better she has to start training with weights. That’s basically how I got into weight training (was in Japanese swordfighting, and hit a point where I didn’t feel I was making gains fast enough).
Even then don’t try to offer advice. She can start researching it herself.
Honestly, this kind of sounds more like a power struggle between the two of you than an important issue. If she sticks with it long enough, she will be doing the weights eventually. Just because she’s not doing them when you say doesn’t mean she wont.
You said she asked you to help her out with eating habits and you decided she needs weights? She commited to eating well and is apparently busting it at kickboxing, that sounds like enough. All that cardio plus the bodyweight stuff will get her in gteat shape, she doesn’t need weights, especially if that is her in your avatar. I also agree with Oleena, if she wants or needs to lift weights down the line let it be her decision and then help her along.
I just wish my wife would exercise, period. She has good genetics for being lean with good shape, so diet(as misguided as it may have been) has always been enough, but after pregnancy I think she needs to work out to get all the way back to her best. She flatly refuses.
My girlfriend was the same way. She was a swimmer and 100m sprinter in highschool so even though she hadn’t been doing that since she started college she was in decent shape. I tried to get her to lift weights, much the same as you are after she asked for help, but to no avail.
However, after she started doing yoga and kickboxing for a few weeks, she asked me for a routine. Now I was over in Afghanistan and I think it helped that she was doing it independently of me. She’s a very independent girl as it is.
I’ve been home for several months now and we work out together. She does her thing and I do mine, but here’s the kicker, she does front squats atg, chins, bent over rows, etc. now. The other day she deadlifted more weight than some guys that were deadlifting before her. Course it’s the university so maybe they were first timers.
My point is that you’re not going to be able to force her. Keep working out on your own and talking about YOUR progress and in a few weeks/months she’ll probably start picking up some weights.
Course it’s the university so maybe they were first timers.