Il faut (d’abord) durer.
It’s not your fault pal.
See a professional. The reality is that we all go through some shit in life, but some of us handle it differently. A professional will look not just at what shit she was going through, but why it triggered such a response. The potential medication step needs to be well managed though.
Not your fault. Just be there and do not ask too many questions, the information will come at its own pace.
Thanks for the replies and advice and support.
I think I will def see a professional about this, it is really eating me up inside. her best friends just got work off to fly down and be there but I’m still at home.
One of her sisters messaged me today saying ‘fuck off arsehole etc , wtf did you do my sister’ seems like I’m getting the blame for it now even though I know the past week she had been angry/frustrated at all her family…I’m not perfect but its not my all fault.
I think I need to go do some boxing or something and see a professional I’m really angry at my self.
No change yet she’s still in a coma too…
[quote]Rollsroyce13 wrote:
Thanks for the replies and advice and support.
I think I will def see a professional about this, it is really eating me up inside. her best friends just got work off to fly down and be there but I’m still at home.
One of her sisters messaged me today saying ‘fuck off arsehole etc , wtf did you do my sister’ seems like I’m getting the blame for it now even though I know the past week she had been angry/frustrated at all her family…I’m not perfect but its not my all fault.
I think I need to go do some boxing or something and see a professional I’m really angry at my self.
No change yet she’s still in a coma too…[/quote]
That’s a harsh reaction from her family, but don’t let it get to you. Maybe they’re just venting their feelings. It’s not your fault.
Good idea, definitely see a professional and find some hobbies to help you cope.
[quote]Rollsroyce13 wrote:
Thanks for the replies and advice and support.
I think I will def see a professional about this, it is really eating me up inside. her best friends just got work off to fly down and be there but I’m still at home.
One of her sisters messaged me today saying ‘fuck off arsehole etc , wtf did you do my sister’ seems like I’m getting the blame for it now even though I know the past week she had been angry/frustrated at all her family…I’m not perfect but its not my all fault.
I think I need to go do some boxing or something and see a professional I’m really angry at my self.
No change yet she’s still in a coma too…[/quote]
This is a common response. Families always want to hang their miseries on others in times of crisis. Do not pay her any mind, she’s just really upset.
Ultimately people are responsible for themselves and there is nothing you or anybody else can do about it. Whatever demons possessed her to take these actions, more than likely, had little if anything to do with you.
Just curious, did she have MS or any some such condition? I know it’s personal and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
Yeah I understand their frustration , She was healthy and had no minor or major health problems ,
Its been 48 hours and it hasn’t really hit me as reality yet, I guess because she’s still in limbo its hard to explain my feelings. Thanks everyone for your support,
[quote]Rollsroyce13 wrote:
Yeah I understand their frustration , She was healthy and had no minor or major health problems ,
Its been 48 hours and it hasn’t really hit me as reality yet, I guess because she’s still in limbo its hard to explain my feelings. Thanks everyone for your support,[/quote]
Ok, I was asking because a similar situation happened to a friend of mine and she had MS, it turned out that MS victims are 4 times more likely to commit suicide, especially younger women. So I was wondering if there were mitigating factors.
That situation was a little more fucked up because she was ‘the other woman’ that split up his marriage. I am still a little pissed at him for that.
I really hope she is able to fully recover. I am a little worried about permanent brain damage here.
I will say this, though Kneedragger was in a coma for 6 months and he is fine. So keep your hopes up, the more time that passes the better the chances of survival.
pat; people with chronic health conditions are more likely to commit suicide, not just MS patients. It’s one of the major risk factors for suicide in fact.
Rolls; there’s always a lot of anger when someone kills themselves or tries to. Sometimes it gets better, sometimes it doesn’t. Everyone wants to find someone to blame, anyone to blame, other than the person that did it. While it’s hard to say it is ultimately that person’s choice to do what they did, and whatever mitigating factors there were, it was their decision. I’ve lost family to suicide, and attempted it myself (schizophrenia is harsh sometimes).
My brother and I have patched it up after my attempt; Starr’s parents and I still don’t talk to each other. Try to keep in mind they are hurting, angry and afraid (so are you). People do not act their best at these times.
Got told her eyes are open and she can see but can’t do anything else at this point. Family don’t want me visiting which is fucked and really upsetting, I wasn’t perfect but no one is. Thank again
[quote]Rollsroyce13 wrote:
Got told her eyes are open and she can see but can’t do anything else at this point. Family don’t want me visiting which is fucked and really upsetting, I wasn’t perfect but no one is. Thank again[/quote]
That’s very good news; it’s also good that you are getting some news. At this point, this may be the closest you will be able to get to her. You should appreciate that you have that.
This has nothing to do with you being “perfect” or not. Her family is upset and they don’t understand what happened. It’s natural they want to blame something/someone. But it’s not your fault. They care very much for her and you care very much for her; I hope that they will see the common ground. Perhaps you can send a card and/or flowers, if you haven’t done so already. That may help change her family’s opinion.
(If I were in your situation, I would fly to see her anyway. If it comes to a face to face meeting with her family, I would just deal with it… with all the consequences. But that’s me.)
In the meanwhile, understand that it’s ok to feel the way you feel right now. Your emotions are normal and natural. You need to find a healthy way to express them while you work through this process – that’s where a professional can be very helpful.
Best of luck.
[quote]Rollsroyce13 wrote:
Got told her eyes are open and she can see but can’t do anything else at this point. Family don’t want me visiting which is fucked and really upsetting, I wasn’t perfect but no one is. Thank again[/quote]
Welp, I don’t know what to say about that. So I say do what you do what seems good to you. It’s wrong for them to put this crap on you, but I don’t figure now is the time to tackle that. Keep your chin up.
Anyway, good news, please keep us posted. I do want to know she’s ok…It’s so tragic when such a young, beautiful person feels their life is worthless when they got the whole world in front of them…
It’s really natural for families, as many here have said, to kind of put the blame on someone or something else. Suicides and attempted suicides, as you can relate to now, honestly trigger all your emotions, with the HUGE addition of confusion. It’s hard to cope with the person to blame being the person who you are worried for / hoping is recovered. Understand that nothing they say makes this your fault, and will likely they will take back a lot of the comments later down the line if they are rash and simply out of passion/confusion.
I wish you the best, bud. Please, be careful, surround yourself with those you know care about you, and do what you can for your GF while still be respectful of her family and what they are dealing with. Nothing I can say can really help, other then trust yourself and God (if you’re into that lol).
It’s really natural for families, as many here have said, to kind of put the blame on someone or something else. Suicides and attempted suicides, as you can relate to now, honestly trigger all your emotions, with the HUGE addition of confusion. It’s hard to cope with the person to blame being the person who you are worried for / hoping is recovered. Understand that nothing they say makes this your fault, and will likely they will take back a lot of the comments later down the line if they are rash and simply out of passion/confusion.
I wish you the best, bud. Please, be careful, surround yourself with those you know care about you, and do what you can for your GF while still be respectful of her family and what they are dealing with. Nothing I can say can really help, other then trust yourself and God (if you’re into that lol).
Natural? maybe, maybe not.
In this case, assuming the OP isn’t abusive, sounds like her family has some issues, which would not be a surprise for the GF to have done what she did. Family sounds dysfunctional to be behaving the way they are, again assuming OP you’re a good dude.
[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
Natural? maybe, maybe not.
In this case, assuming the OP isn’t abusive, sounds like her family has some issues, which would not be a surprise for the GF to have done what she did. Family sounds dysfunctional to be behaving the way they are, again assuming OP you’re a good dude.[/quote]
Maybe natural wasn’t the best word. Maybe ‘not surprising’ would have been more fitting.
You should remove her picture from this thread. You have no idea who views this site, and it’s a breach of her privacy.
…and maybe change your avatar until things get better… It’s hard to empathize with you while you have a picture of yourself with two hookers.
[quote]Mac85 wrote:
…and maybe change your avatar until things get better… It’s hard to empathize with you while you have a picture of yourself with two hookers. [/quote]
Perhaps your message here would have been more appropriate in the form of a PM, instead of making it public, and therefore MORE obvious.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
[quote]Mac85 wrote:
…and maybe change your avatar until things get better… It’s hard to empathize with you while you have a picture of yourself with two hookers. [/quote]
Perhaps your message here would have been more appropriate in the form of a PM, instead of making it public, and therefore MORE obvious.[/quote]
I’m not the one who made it public. That was the OP.
Has he changed his avatar? No.
Have you gone after all the people who told this guy to “hang in there”?