Friends with benefits or dating?

Off Topic
41

“I’m flabbergasted at the significance you seem to put into the actual act of going on a date.”

The importance of going on an actual date was the fact that he wasn’t embarassed to be seen in public with me. We live in a small town, even went to the same high school, heaven forbid someone see us together. They might assume something was going on between us. Besides he made me feel very insecure in the fact that he always talked about how hot younger girls are and how he wanted to dry hump every goodlooking one he met.

Age of consent is 15 in Denmark? P-DOG when are ya movin?

42

Oh yeah…P-DOG,
I know he is a great guy. I knew that right away, but I know that I am a great person too and I deserve to be involved with someone who isn’t embarassed to be seen with me.

43

Erica, what was the height difference between the two of you?

44

jason
you ever see that movie with rob schnider duce biggalo, well p-dogg is rob and ericka is that really tall gurl whose head you never see.lmao j/k ericka

45

JasonL,
I am nearly 5’11" and he is just over 5’7".

46

This is an amazing thread…

Our culture has literally come full circle. It used to be that a lady would date a guy for a while, and when she felt comfortable enough with him, then she would sleep with him… thus holding the sex as the higher ideal.

Now, we have girls who are willing to sleep with a guy, but do not date them… thus holding that the dating is a higher ideal.

(Note the use of lady vs. girl)

Hmmm… if you weren’t dating, and now he isn’t good enough to date, then why were you banging him?

Also, did you tell your new boyfriend that you had to cut off a month long fuck-buddy relationship with a guy that wasn’t really good enough to date? I would bet not.

My past has as many ghosts as anybody’s, but where are we headed…?

Sometimes I like to go to the zoo and watch the monkeys. They will swing from branch to branch, and then, once in a while, one monkey will just start banging the hell out of some other monkey. Then, a couple other monkeys will start kicking one out right there while we are all watching… it makes for such a nice afternoon. Especially when the monkeys that just finished badgering the witness take a big handful of their DNA Milkshakes and toss them on the ground from 40 feet up. Ahh… days at the zoo…

Are we evolving…or devolving?

Next time, if you are going to let a guy treat you like a barnyard animal, maybe you could get a burger and a milkshake out of him first…

Unless, you truly are just doing it because it feels good… if so, do it in a tree.

It begs the age old question of morality:

Is sex morally justified if both partners enjoy it, it is consentual, and no one gets hurt?

(ie. this premise would justify homosexuality…)

If this is the justification, and if taking that step was just repressed due to conservative thinking… then let’s take the premise further… could we apply this to bestiality? Both partners consent, and the animals often come back for more…so, obviously they both enjoy it. Am I twisted here, or just liberal? Am I being progressive?

Remember, homosexuality had the same aversion as bestiality just a couple decades ago… now, if you condemn it, you are a homophobe… somehow belittled and scared of the idea of one grown man lubing up his erect penis in order to facilitate his cramming it in another man’s ass. Somehow, if this strikes you as not quite right, you are a homophobe, ignorant, and probably a religiious zealot.

Let’s make sure when we decide what is right and wrong, we make sure we understand the principles which justify it as acceptable.

Gays: both people consent and enjoy.

Fuck-buddies: both people consent and enjoy.

Two dogs in the road: Both partners accept and enjoy.

Bestiality: Both partners accept and enjoy.

Relationship: Sexual relations built on a solid friendship and trust to hopefully bring two people together. The act is morally justified because it will someday promote the perpetuation of our species, and is not accomplished through the use of force. (It betters humans without hurting or using force… maybe a very simple test for morality.)

Ericka, the guy probably was just hurt because he was rejected… or maybe he actually had some respect for you, and was under the impression you and he weren’t monkeys. Boy was he wrong… huh? But, it’s probably just easier to think the former…his feeling probably got hurt.

Good luck to you… and to all of us.

47

Now I think the real story is comming out. This thing started as “friends with benefits” and ericka liked some other guy. Seems now that ericka has liked her friend all along… " i know he is a great guy…i knew that right away…etc…" so now i would guess this new guy she said she as intrested in was nothing more than shot at the “great guy” who is a friend with benefits… because he talked about young hot chicks, and was embarresed to be seen with ericka. Personally height does not have a damn thing to do with it. Personally Ericka you just lost all creditability… If you did not ever like this guy as anything more than a fuck buddy, then why on earth would you get mad if he talked about other chicks? And, why would you say “I deserve to be involved with someone who is not embarssed to be seen with me” ? Hello… you were just fuck buddies right??

48

ericka
is the new guy out my whey?

49

"Now, we have girls who are willing to sleep with a guy, but do not date them… thus holding that the dating is a higher ideal.

(Note the use of lady vs. girl)"

First of all I am a lady. I am just one who happens to be confident and comfortable with my sexuality. I also happen to enjoy sex and last time I checked being 27 implies that we are both adults. What is so horrible about consentual sex between 2 adults. This is 2004 not 1954 right? Women don’t wear chastity belts anymore. Initially I was interested in pursuing more of a relationship with him. Initially. I changed my mind after numerous conversations with regard to how fat females my age are and how much he would love to bang 18yr olds. I understand that his ego might be hurt and if I truly did hurt his feelings then I am sorry. Maybe he shouldn’t have avoided the topic when I brought it up. The thing is I do care about him, as a friend. So, I wouldn’t intentionally hurt him. As for the new guy. He is not my boyfriend as of yet. I am simply interested in pursuing a possible relationship with him. So before I even go there I cut off the sexual relations with my “friend”.

50

whats wrong with wanting to bang 18 year olds? any guy that says he doesnt want to is a lying muther fucker.

51

Haha. Excellent post Silverback.

52

How is holding back sex as some sort of bargaining tool more moral than fucking the guy because you like him?

Last time I checked extortion wasn’t looked upon too highly. Oh, but that’s just money.

All of that sexual moral crap came about because odds were you were going to get pregnant and the guy wanted to be sure the kid was his. It’s the 21st Century now. Pregnancy is preventable now. Paternity is easily determined if that’s an issue.

Sex is a pleasurable activity that adults can engage in if they so desire. Using as a lever to gain something, like dinners out, a ring, a house, and the white picket fence in the front yard is moral? Gee, that’s an advanced way to deal with people.

53

Ericka,

Because you didn’t verbally bring out all the conditions of your sexual relationship, you were technically “dating,” just skipping the dinners, or more likely, substituting post-workout shakes.

However, you were not “dating exclusively” and he did not know this. Now you want to date some other guy exclusively. (Will you be having sex with him right away, or withholding it during the courtship? Up to you, but if you withhold it, there might be some hypocrisy there.)

You write:
“First of all I am a lady. I am just one who happens to be confident and comfortable with my sexuality. I also happen to enjoy sex and last time I checked being 27 implies that we are both adults. What is so horrible about consentual sex between 2 adults.”

The sex was not consensual in EVERY SENSE if you had different ideas of what obligations it entailed. If you had been very clear about what it meant to you, he would have had the choice to take up on your offer, and maybe even guard himself against becoming as emotionally attached. Perhaps unconsciously you understood that, and wanted him less guarded, more emotionally tied in to you. You may want to examine this. Most people in that situation are very clear about the limits of that kind of relationship. I would say such detailed, upfront clarification is even cliche.

54

My suggestion is for you to hook up with me.

55

What the hell…morals in this thread?

What about honesty and, maybe, thinking of the impact of (not)defining the terms of the relationship right off the bat…

But I guess they both wanted it easy. Reap what you sow, then.

56

Er…and why not asking for advice BEFORE calling the shots?

57

whats wrong with wanting to bang 18 year olds? any guy that says he doesnt want to is a lying muther fucker.

Honestly they’re better when they’re older and know their bodies better. The younger ones may have hotter bodies but unless they grew up somewhere besides the good old US of A it takes them some time to get their sexuality issues worked out. I think it has something to do with the attitudes like the ones Silverback expressed above.

58

“However, you were not “dating exclusively” and he did not know this”

Actually I was not seeing anyone else and as far as I know neither was he. I guess it is just one of those situations where we were just better off as friends. At the very least this thread has reunited two long lost friends! Glad I could bring the DOGs back together. You’re welcome guys.

59

BTW…we have both found it very funny that you guys seem to think he has gotten his feelings hurt. He is far from sensitive about the subject. If anything he’s just pissed he won’t get anymore action from me and the full effects of his cycle are kicking in.

60

Wow! P-Dog is only 5’ 7".