What on Earth would a hot girl with an amazing smile and jaw-dropping body need with two pounds of meat…
…that didn’t come from my pants?
Try hitting her next time.
Screw them, give no warning and go with the laxatives. I recall my father using Ex-Lax to get rid of gophers in our garden, and it worked like a charm.
[quote]NateOrade wrote:
Hard to say. Bottom line: More. I would have kept up the questioning until she admitted something, which she probably would have unless she is a total sociopath. I would have repeatedly pointed out the specifics of her odd and guilty behavior. [/quote]
At the risk of busting your bubble, I have to point out that the crushing majority of the population would never admit to anything under those circumstances. If you plead guilty, you have your reputation go to shit at the very least. If you don’t, it’s your word against my non-trained investigative conclusion and flimsy evidence.
More importantly, I don’t like kicking people when they’re down. Regardless of gender. I’m soft like that and if that makes me a wimp in your eyes, so be it.
[quote]Is that a “d” or a “cl” in your screenname?
You’re going to have to explain that one. [/quote]
No, I’m not.
Thanks for your input though. Much appreciated.
I remember reading about something like this in a Popular Science from the 20’s. A man was having his melons stolen from his garden. He hooked up a camera with a trip wire to the best looking one left. A few days later, he noticed the camera shutter was released and the melon missing. He got the photos developed and recognized his neighbor. He left a copy of the photo in his neighbor’s mailbox and the melons never got taken again.
[quote]lixy wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Hard to say. Bottom line: More. I would have kept up the questioning until she admitted something, which she probably would have unless she is a total sociopath. I would have repeatedly pointed out the specifics of her odd and guilty behavior.
At the risk of busting your bubble, I have to point out that the crushing majority of the population would never admit to anything under those circumstances. If you plead guilty, you have your reputation go to shit at the very least. If you don’t, it’s your word against my non-trained investigative conclusion and flimsy evidence.
More importantly, I don’t like kicking people when they’re down. Regardless of gender. I’m soft like that and if that makes me a wimp in your eyes, so be it.
Is that a “d” or a “cl” in your screenname?
You’re going to have to explain that one.
No, I’m not.
Thanks for your input though. Much appreciated.[/quote]
Oh well. Some chick stole shitloads of food from you. She didn’t apologize. And you’re not getting any back. (But at least you didn’t blame U.S. foreign policy)
[quote]lixy wrote:
- You’re not going to fuck her.
Is that a “d” or a “cl” in your screenname?
[/quote]
dever, clucle
If they be stealing from the fridge it’s time for you to steal the fridge from them.
Keep it in your room.
Yeah, a mini fridge costs like $20-40 on Craigslist. You’re only storing food for one person - should be enough.
[quote]Artem wrote:
Yeah, a mini fridge costs like $20-40 on Craigslist. You’re only storing food for one person - should be enough.[/quote]
They’re noisy and can’t handle cosco size things of meat. I would have done the ipecac, but then I just love that family guy scene.
Realistically though, I like the idea of selectively letting food spoil and leaving it for the thief. On the off chance she starts up again, give it a go.
One thing that bothered me about this story though, what did she do with the 4lbs of meat she took? I mean, either she had to cook a pile of meat or she had to put it in her fridge. It’s not like she could just store it under her bed for a week to allay suspicion. Couldn’t you just check the next morning?
She’s guilty. An innocent person would have just stood there will a WTF expression on their face after setting off the trap. And who uses a whisk to make mashed potatoes?
On the plus side, you now have something to talk about with said hot chick. “Hey Heidi, how does my meat taste?”.
syrup of Ipecac not much AND mag citrate. add a little Tylenol PM so they sleep and shit themselves. Don’t go crazy. Put a please do not touch sign on it. Dab your dick in it too.
Or, record the SOB on a webcam (make sure their face is visible) then either upload the video to YouTube and inform EVERYONE in the building, or play the video on a big screen in multiple common areas.
Shame is quite the repercussion.
EDIT: I just saw the thing about your student budget.
So, hide out (again) and this time take a disposable camera with you and the bat. When you see the thief, take a picture with flash, and turn on the lights. Tell the person you get to either beat them within an inch of their life, or you get develop the photo and make a copy for every person living in the same building and any surrounding dormitories.
That way, you give an out from the violence option, while damaging their reputation. I’m sure it’ll stick with them for a long time.
Next time you catch her set off the suicide vest. Problem solved.
[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Next time you catch her set off the suicide vest. Problem solved.[/quote]
holy shit hahahahahahahah
I lived with room-mates and borders that stole food.
My Mom and me had a border when I was 17. My Mom was on a budget for food at the time cause she was on disability insurance. And this guy was constantly eating food her and I bought. We asked him to ask or just not take anything we have in the fridge And we left him his own space. So this is what we did.
We took a bottle of caster oil and egg yolk and powdered milk and mixed it together.
Also this is really really sick we baked some brownies and chocolate cookies cut them up and stored them in the fridge.
Well the active ingredients to the brownies and cookies were. Feces. Yup we shit in them. Added chocolate dark chocolate chips to hopefully cover the taste and of course exlax chunks.
Next we bought apple juice and drank half of it. Pissed and added water to keep it looking right and almost full.
Next, we said we were going away for a few days which we did. This would leave him with opportunity to take advantage of free food.
So we went away to a family members house and we had a good time till we got back.
We walked in to see that someone had gotten into the milk and brownies. And my mom and I both giggled. So we unpacked and when I went to take a piss. Someone had shit spray on the walls of the bathroom and the toilet. It was the sickest thing I had ever seen or smelled.
We go and check the msg’s a short time later and he had called saying that he would not be home. He went to the hospital cause he was dehydrated from a stomach virus.
So we know what happened. So we cleaned up the mess best we could. Threw out the evidence. But the smell lingered for a week or so.
I don’t know if he ever put 2 and 2 together but. All I remember is he moved out a short time later. But if you planning to do this make sure your dosage of laxative is correct is all I have to say. Or you have a good maid.
You and your mom pulled a prank together that involved shitting and pissing into shit? WTF
[quote]msd0060 wrote:
You and your mom pulled a prank together that involved shitting and pissing into shit? WTF[/quote]
rotfl
[quote]msd0060 wrote:
You and your mom pulled a prank together that involved shitting and pissing into shit? WTF[/quote]
Family bonding session.
My Mom and I smoked pot together. So whats that tell you.