My brother’s girlfriend has been living with us for months now. She goes back to her house to shower(most days), but otherwise she stays here. No one ever asked or even informed me of the addition to our family, one day I just realized that she never fucking goes home.
She doesn’t say much, and won’t even look me in the eye, so mostly I just ignore her.
A few days ago, I bought a box of Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop-Tarts. Not the small box, the double-size one. I placed them in the cabinet, and later, that same day, realized they had disappeared. I accused my brother of theft, who denied, explaining that he only eats the Strawberry flavor, which is true. Today I notice the smell of Pop-Tarts in the house, MY Pop-Tarts, and again I accuse him. He tells me that his girl took the box down into his room, ‘Because you always eat all of them’. Bitch stole my Pop-Tarts.
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
My brother’s girlfriend has been living with us for months now. She goes back to her house to shower(most days), but otherwise she stays here. No one ever asked or even informed me of the addition to our family, one day I just realized that she never fucking goes home.
She doesn’t say much, and won’t even look me in the eye, so mostly I just ignore her.
A few days ago, I bought a box of Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop-Tarts. Not the small box, the double-size one. I placed them in the cabinet, and later, that same day, realized they had disappeared. I accused my brother of theft, who denied, explaining that he only eats the Strawberry flavor, which is true. Today I notice the smell of Pop-Tarts in the house, MY Pop-Tarts, and again I accuse him. He tells me that his girl took the box down into his room, ‘Because you always eat all of them’. Bitch stole my Pop-Tarts.
I don’t need to explain how fucked up that is.
[/quote]
Well, DUH! Of course you eat all of them, they’re meant to be eaten. Get your brother an his g/f sterilized so they don’t pass on their stupidity.
Don’t put’em in the fucking cabinet. They’re yours. Put’em in your room. The cabinet is fair game.
For the infraction of removing them from fair game territory to personal territory without having bought them, make her eat all of them… at one time… forcibly.
[quote]PB Andy wrote:
Hide your fuckin’ food from these scavengers. I have to hide all my nuts (pun intended) in my room so no one fucking eats my shit (pun also intended).
One time a coworker threw away a bottle of raspberry Surge I left out at the fitness desk at the gym. When I asked her what happened to it, she told me we’re not supposed to leave our stuff on the fitness desk.
I pissed in her gym bag later.
[quote]limitatinfinity wrote:
One time a coworker threw away a bottle of raspberry Surge I left out at the fitness desk at the gym. When I asked her what happened to it, she told me we’re not supposed to leave our stuff on the fitness desk.
I pissed in her gym bag later.[/quote]
Really now? Sweet
My stepmom use to steal shit from me when i visited my dad, so I had to get protective of my shit.
[quote]JayPierce wrote:
Don’t put’em in the fucking cabinet. They’re yours. Put’em in your room. The cabinet is fair game.
For the infraction of removing them from fair game territory to personal territory without having bought them, make her eat all of them… at one time… forcibly.[/quote]
When she’s sleeping, squat over her head, and pop a tart on her face. Then, when she wakes up from the smell, yell “BYAAAH, how do you like MAH poptart BIATCH?”
If you know that she will be the only person eating the certain foods you buy, tamper with it… Like if you buy more Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop-Tarts, you can smear something “brown like” substance on the tarts and seal it back up. If it has been eaten, you can ask if she liked the taste of it.
But then again if shes a regular ATM machine, than that prank wouldn’t work out so well…