You are correct. I looked it up. Beautiful!
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You ever driven in a car with 5 boys? I have. You want to get where you are going ASAP. Grey Dodge Grand Caravan, for the record.
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Chrysler Town & Country here, proudest minivan owner youāll meet.
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I confess I spent days trying to confess this in an appropriate manner:
I confess I had to stop CBT because it royally fucked me up enough for my GP friend/gym buddy and my wife to stage an intervention to get me to a psychiatrist.
I DO NOT WANT TO DISSUADE ANYONE FROM TRYING CBT JUST BECAUSE IT DIDNāT WORK FOR ME.
To clarify, I did not go nuts or anything like that but doing the stuff was tormenting me beyond my abilities to describe but I still tried to maintain my normal composure.
They saw the subtle changes in my behavior. After 2 decades of practice, NO ONE can tell what Iām feeling inside from my behavior/body language/manner of speech so if BOTH of them were able to tell there was a fucking tempest going on in my head, it was probably pretty serious.
Now, I did say I would go through the entire course, which is why Iām making this confession for anyone who gives a fuck and I apologize. @kdjohn @EmilyQ I have friends who have done it and it worked wonders for them. The psychiatrist I was dragged to is ALSO formally trained in CBT. He convinced to stop because the state of mind I described PRIOR to starting CBT for the problem I was trying to solve for anyone who gave enough of a fuck to read my previous post was something heād expect from someone who successfully completed a several month long course of CBT. The dude basically told me I should have taken up meditation or something instead. The problem for people like me is that I already have a hight amount of self-awareness because of the need to adapt to lots of shit in my life. What CBT did was revert shit that my brain had unconsciously wired itself over the years as a necessity when I was dealing with problems or some shit like that. I canāt remember all the details and I really donāt give a fuck other than the results.
While Iām more or less getting back to normal right now, Iāve had to take psychiatric drugs for mood control and the one for sleep is fucking with my eyesight and motor coordination but itās temporary. I was prescribed it because I refused benzos. Got up in the middle of the night to take a piss and kept losing my balance the first week.
So, @The_Myth gonna need your help for some non-woo woo meditation stuff lol. Guess I gotta get down with the Sikhness. (Oh shut up SJWs. all my Sikh jokes were told to me by Sikhs. They fucking LOVE telling them.)
Again, this is about MY RESPONSE to a certain this. PLEASE DO NOT rely on this to make any decisions on mental health methods.
IT DOES WORK FOR LOTS OF PEOPLE
Speak to a professional and get recommendations first. The one who suggested that I do this was some therapist during a 30min phone call. Not enough for a proper assessment. My own fault since I assumed most of the psychology stuff was similar.
I bought an ā91 or ā92 (I think) Chevy Astro van for $800 from a one-eyed man named Shotgun who, upon me asking about his name, lifted up his shirt and showed me all his scars from being shot with a shotgun multiple times. I believe that was the cause for the one eye as well. He voluntarily dropped the price from like $1,500 or something to $800, and was even willing to give it to me for $300 at that moment with the promise of the remaining $500 at an undetermined later date. Dude really needed some cash. Canāt imagine why.
The van was awesome. It was used to transport drugs from California to South Dakota for a few years, which is why I mention it, but it served me well until the engine blew up while I was driving down a dirt road miles from home.
Iāll probably look for a more reputable seller in the future but I wouldnāt mind getting the same, or similar, van in the future. Really liked the look and feel of the thing.
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I confess that my workouts have gotten less intense as time goes on. I used to superset and do daily burpees, rows and swings . Iām now down to straight sets at lower volumes and no daily work
No wonder Iāve been getting fat
FWIW, this makes perfect sense to me. I was a perfectly content functioning alcoholic before I started seeing a gal that got me a bit more woke. Then, Pandoraās box was open and out came a lifetime of shit to deal with that I was perfectly content to ignore prior to being woke. I suspect the CBT triggered a similar response for you - uncovered some things you were perfectly content to ignore.
That being said, I am a fan of Dan Bruleā who recommends two for ten and ten for two. Meditate twice a day for ten minutes, and ten times a day for two minutes. Mainly, focus on the breath. Cool air on the tip of your nose on the inhale, warm air out. Or clean white light in, brown foggy breath out (good in, bad out).
I like to repeat a mantra in my head (out loud works to) to make time go by faster - Iām a fan of the Sikh/Kundalini Ong, but Om works to, as does any other affirmation. āLife is goodā with Life on the inhale, is good on the exhale.
It sounds dumb AF, but it actually works. Not immediately, but over time you build up a ābank accountā of calm that you can draw on when you need it.
I use a lot of guided meditations on YouTube as well. One that I particularly like is on oneness by Jon Kabbat-Zinn. Kabbat-Zinn runs, or ran, a mindfulness pain reduction program at UMass General Hospital.
I hope that helps. If I missed anything, hit me up again, here or in Woo Woo.
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We had a Chevy Astro growing up! I remember many trips with that van. And Iām gonna have to battle @flappinit over proud Minivan ownership, as I was definitely one of those single guys driving around in a Honda Odyssey. I had it for 6 years before we actually had our first kid, haha. Love minivans. We always had one on the family because my dad worked from home in a business that distributed newsletters and books, so we needed something that could haul people and business materials across town. I just didnāt know life WITHOUT a minivan until I was 35.
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That is the most central South Dakota (Reservation) story Iāve heard in awhile.
Never owned a van. I am a station wagon guy myself. Fuel economy of a sedan, with the hauling ability of an SUV (even the compact ones could handle a lot of hauling, a Ford Focus wagon is cavernous inside). Unfortunately, the demand for these versatile vehicles is low, and not many manufacturers still make them. So now I have a hatchback. I have too buddies with Volvo wagons, and I am kinda jealous.
Iāve owned 6 wagons, and one hatchback so far.
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Oh man, we had the station wagon too. And Iām certain, at some point in my life, Iām getting an El Camino.
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We were looking for a car about a year ago. I really wanted a Subaru Baja. Unfortunately, they are fairly rare at this point, and canāt be had for a reasonable price IMO (I canāt justify $10K for a 15 year old ute, with 150K+ miles).
But they are awesome. El Camino and Rancheros are pretty awesome too.
Australia has a strong ute game though. They have Holden there (which is a GM brand). One of the Holdens you can get is based on the GTO here. LS V8 power in you car truck thing.
Closest newer ute you could get to an El Camino. Would have to import it though.
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Have you seen the new Hyundai Santa Cruz? They arenāt quite the El Camino but the closest thing I know thatās currently in production. I think theyāre labeled as pickups but donāt really fit that bill imo
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I like it! I have never seen one of these on the road. American (US) consumers donāt seem to like the same things as me (wagons, Utes), so they are slowly disappearing it seems.
Reasonable price, good towing, and IMO good gas mileage.
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Iāve seen a couple, theyāre alright looking, iām not a huge fan of that type of vehicle though. My gf loves that style though but says her dream car is an old Ford Bronco (not dissimilar to the OJ one lol). Feel you on the car market shrinking though, seems like an Suv or truck are the only options at this point. Minivans and Suvs are morphing into one entity too.
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Sounds cool to me, haha. Maybe it helped with your wife? āThis guy is ready for kids.ā
Iām sure a similar situation has happened on many a reservation, but this was actually NE SoDak, off the rez. I donāt live on the reservation Iām enrolled with. When your stateās motto (not actually the official motto, but some type of motto) is āMeth. Weāre On It.ā you know youāve got weirdos all over the place. Maybe @QuadQueen can confirm? I donāt know where in the state youāre at, but I feel like this stuff is pretty wide spread, haha. Or maybe itās just the type of people I hang around.
EDIT: To add to the general car discussion, I just like older cars. And Iām not even saying classics, that are fancy and expensive. Just old cars in general. The look, the feel, everything. Vans, sedans, wagons, whatever. Pre-2000 or whatever is just better.
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My favorite car I have had to date was my 1995 Ford Taurus. Nothing fancy.
Iāve never smoked weed or consumed any controlled substance. In my 40+ years on the planet, Iād say I consumed alcohol (not gotten drunk) aroundā¦thirty times in total?
It started out of necessity in high school as a DIY approach to suppress some PTSD-inducing memories and I became so accustomed to it that I stopped noticing my straight edge lifestyle.
A psychiatrist would probably find it spectacularly unhealthy, though. But hey, itās seems to be working for meā¦
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Had 2 of these for work vehicles when I was doing Industrial sales and they were at the top of my experience for driving hundreds of thousand miles. Comfortable and far better gas mileage than I get from a F150 pickup.
Did kinda feel creepy going on a date in those as a 30s dude haha
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This makes a lot of sense.
Sounds like how ātime heals all woundsā works -the brain āclosesā around the shit to help you out, so why open it all back up?
The therapists will tell you that while you may have compatmentalized it, those issues are still affecting you negatively, and that doing ādeep emotional healingā will improve your life.
What they donāt tell you is that you are going to spend years in the bowels of hell before your life improves.