I remember being twelve and bawling my eyes out and apologizing to my parents for having constructed a miniature onager, an ancient Roman torsion catapult from a wooden pallet box, some elastic bands and assorted wooden scrap.
Without stopping to take a breath and constantly sobbing I explained how I was pleasantly surprised that my good-for-nothing brother and our asshole cousin instead of bullying me for being a nerd as was usually the case quite suddenly showed a keen interest in my passion, ancient Roman history, namely legionary artillery and that the two of them said that if I build it them a miniature catapult theyāll only launch thorny chestnut kernels at kids from the apartment block across the street and I had no idea that theyāll dip dead rats which they somewhere acquired - I mean I assume they were dead already - in gasoline, set them on fire and launch them using my onager from the roof of our apartment building and that their flaming rat projectiles will narrowly miss a cyclist and a mother pushing a pram.
Today, some dude at my gym was squatting in the rack beside mine and he looked exactly like John Cena, the facial structure and everything. He was pretty well built too. I wonder how many more of these off-brand people I can find. I believe two weeks ago I saw a bootleg @ChongLordUno doing curls in front of a mirror. I nicknamed him ChongLordDos.
I confess this made me lough out loud such that my kids wanted to know what was so funny.
I confess they didnāt find it as funny as I did once I had explained it to them.
Its not your fault they misused it.
You were just expressing an affinity for history and talent for construction!
The government really needs to crack down on assault catapults. This stuff is getting out of hand.
P.S. Your story made me laugh way more than it shouldāveā¦ I may need to seek out mental health counseling
Some random dude came up to me and showed me his step counterā¦ dafuq???
Please tell me you showed him yours. Just a casual few years at 30k+ steps a day 
My wifeās calves are way bigger and more muscular than mineā¦
People tell me I have nice calves. I donāt know if I agree, especially because I donāt understand the obsession with calves, but I could attribute this to several years of running hills and stairs a long time ago.
Thatās because you have nice calves lol.
I used to smoke cigars, and was thoroughly enamored with the thought of Cuban Cigars (they were illegal in the US for some 50 years, but always touted as a status symbol). Then I took a trip down to Mexico (where they were legal), and I bought the most expensive Cuban cigar I could find, which was like $10ā¦ because Mexico.
I had prepared for this moment for quite some time, I got set up on the hotel balcony, overlooking the ocean, and lit the cigar. Took a nice big draw, did everything right - and it tasted exactly like every other cigar Iād ever had.
Moral of the story: people are infatuated with that which they cannot obtain; in this case, respectably developed calves. Tis the forbiden fruit of bodybuilding.
P.S. I also have nice calves.
Facial expression checks out
I think I have developed a decent upper back and appreciate that in myself and others much more than I will ever value nice calves in either case. 
Hetero dudeās opinion here: well developed calves and high heels = huge turn on. Likely where the obsession comes from at least from a male to female perspective.
As another hetero dude, can i just add that i have never in my life found calves to be a turn on. I donāt think iāve ever intentionally looked at someones calves, in fact iām currently struggling to find a bodypart i care less about.
As long as they donāt have cankles, I donāt really care about a womanās calves. In fact, I think the more muscle the less Iād like them.
I mean I donāt have it out specifically for calves, but I like women that lift, particularly ones that look like they lift.
Muscular development of the quads, hams, and glutes is attractive - as such, it would look weird to not have developed calves to match.
Wasnāt going to comment on it, but it looked like you could use some backup!
Elbows? Agreed though, donāt care about calves.
Confession:
I just did burpees and theyāre harder than I thought
But that doesnāt explain why men themselves chase calf development. I suppose this has something to do with the closeted bodybuilder inside some average lifters and that calves are supposedly stubborn bodyparts to develop for many men. Yet I doubt that men genuinely believe that women will flock to them if their calves are well-developed.
Forgive my speculation, as I am not a bodybuilder nor do I want to speak for all women (or men).
I can assure you that most men think women will be attracted to them for literally every reason that women dont care about. See cars, PR lifts, muscular development, and money for examples.