You’d need to smoke 600 joints simultaneously for this to work… provided you don’t die of smoke inhalation first 
2 Likes
I confess…nevermind.
2 Likes
I confess I used my wife and I’s anniversary as an excuse to have a monstrous cheat meal.
It consisted of:
Fresh mozzarella wrapped in prosciutto, drizzled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
Toasted slices of italian bread slathered with goat brie.
Two 16oz dry-aged grassfed ribeye steaks.
Roasted garlic baby potatoes.
Garlic cream spinach.
And a very nice bottle of red wine.
10 Likes
So about a days worth for me & my dude Bün back in the day? 
All I need is a range hood, a stock pot and some duct tape and this is a done deed.
1 Like
That’s sexyAF…
1 Like
That’s a lot of garlic for all the lovey dovey later. 
3 Likes
Warning:
Extended rant incoming:
I gained back a shit ton of weight when i started lifting again in 2012 or 2013 after my work schedule got less busy and erratic. I think I started at 140+lbs and went back up to 200+lbs. I didn’t really weigh myself much after passing 200lbs.
Hypothetically, roid use was involved later both to even out the lbm/fat ratio and further gain more mass but not before I had gained around 40lbs so all you angry natties can save the whining about the legitimacy and accuracy of my gainz. Hypothetically. #steroidsr4losers
And angry roiders can shut up too because I hypothetically had already had prior roid experience and had done enough stupid shit to know what not to do before I stopped lifting and and started eating normally so I lost around 70lbs or more over a couple of YEARS. #natty4life
No, I didn’t just lose all my gainz in 3 months like what the internet thinks happens to every alleged roid user. #stillnatty4life #ibelievemikeohearn
As an added disclaimer, I use the fucking metric system and I don’t like doing mental math and shit so the numbers in lbs may not be completely accurate.
Aright, now that all that’s been said, you guys just imagine how many questions I was getting from friends, colleagues and long time clients and suppliers alike.
I answered lots of legit questions amongst the bulk of stupid, and seemingly leading ones although my real objective was to make sure people didn’t think I stated sticking a needle in my butt right off the bat. “Beginner gainz” are real, folks. I’ve experienced them twice in my life. No, you don’t have to do a Luke Skywalker in The Last Jedi and “milk them” although it’s time you tossed your silly plastic light sabres if your balls have dropped.
For the serious questions asked by serious people, which are few and far between, I do take the time to fully answer them and even helped out some on an ongoing basis either through asking them to work out with me or answering questions after working hours or, in the case of friends and clients, meet socially or through sms or emails, one or 2 of whom have now really made some really good gainz. You can look up a certain Middle Eastern guy’s log here to see the extent I’m willing to go to even online if the dude is really serious.
It’s TOUGHER because the average person doesn’t really know much about the reality of lifting and focussing on diet while being bombarded with the amount of conflicting information being thrown around and I’m normally pretty concise and adapt my approaches according to each individual’s based on factors such as genetics and work schedule when I think the person is really serious and am prepared to follow through all the way as thoroughly as time permits me although lots of them have let me down.
But that didn’t stop them from doing internet searches and then coming back to challenge my advice. That was the fucking frustrating part.
For others, I’ve now eventually ended up just giving them sarcastic answers like I was “born like this” or “I undergo spontaneous transient biological re-modification due to a genetic defect every couple of years”. Isn’t this what they want to hear in the first place?
These people aren’t asking questions. They’re either trying to make you say stuff that would explain why they don’t look like me(when natty) despite having made dubious efforts in attempts at body recomposition, or are really interrogating you with leading questions about your already assumed genetic superiority and/or natty status.
I’ve heard all the stupid shit you can think of over so many years. You gotta understand that, apart from new people I meet and people who saw my “transformation” as I made my gainz over the months and years, I also have long time friends whom have seen me lose a shitload of weight when I stopped lifting and then gaining it back.
At least the latter have seen something with their own eyes that dumbasses have been spreading long before the internet became widely used:
NO, MUSCLE DOESN’T “TURN INTO FAT” WHEN YOU STOP LIFTING. This is a fucking figure of speech because people keep eating the same way and they gain some fat while their lbm/bodyfat ratio gradually changes because of the lack of muscular stimulation due to not training, not something that can possibly literally happen biologically.
But, hey, people believed a giant monkey really stood a chance against a giant fucking ancient lizard that gets rejuvenated when you detonate a fucking NUCLEAR BOMB powerful enough to destroy several Hiroshimas right beside it so what can I say?
Lots of the stupid shit I get comes from people asking me how to get lean since I normally stay relatively lean because of my genetics (This part is for realz. I’m not being sarcastic. I’ve posted a pic before in my avatar that some may have seen which was a couple of months after starting to work out again and still maintained a 6 pack after gaining around 30lbs naturally. No, I’m not posting it again. I’m getting more and more afraid of the internet,). This was before I went all out on the junk food because I was so sick of having to eat so much every single day of my life.
I remember one dumb chick was saying it’s not possible for lots of people to lose weight. I asked her if she’s ever seen a fat Somalian. While it may be true for a minute percentage of the population, she retorted that “her friend” - ONE FUCKING FRIEND - can’t because she’s on doctor prescribed STEROIDS for some kind of condition. Other than the symptoms of this unknown condition, which she also doesn’t know, and/or the probable effects the drugs may have had on this “friend’s” metabolism and water retention, CORTICOSTEROIDS ARE NOT ANABLIC STEROIDS. But she continued to argue with me even despite me explaining this.
Shit, I could write a fucking book on the dumb shit I’ve gotten from people who aren’t even serious enough to go to the gym to walk on the treadmill more than 3 times a week and then fuck around with the ab machine for a couple of minutes before finally throwing a couple of punches at the punching bag without realizing that a heavy bag is really punching you if you don’t know how to throw a fucking punch although I hear this is the norm in Russia even if you are a professional boxer.
I don’t even care if I sound like a dick when I smell that someone like that is asking me questions nowadays.
Most of the time. if you bother to dig further into what they tell you, you eventually know exactly what their problem is but you also know that they’re not going go out of their way to rectify it. They just want to hear something from you that justifies their lack of gainz.
1 Like
Entirely why particular positions exist. Added bonus is you activity discouraged foreplay and nearly all other time wasting activities.
Mrs Strongman is one lucky woman. 
2 Likes
Nah. Based on the bible where people in the old testament are stoned (literally) to death when they do something blasphemous lol
So, what you’re saying is people are both stupid and lazy.
It makes me wish we had a law where everyone would get 5 times a year to slap a dumb*** when warranted. Sometimes, violence is necessary against sheer stupidity.
I confess I got the vaccine yesterday, have a sore shoulder and am tempted to use getting vaccinated as an excuse to skip my lower body workout today
Violence is the language of the stupid.
If I may offer a rebuttal
5 Likes
Damn… certain things you brought up sound very familiar
1 Like
are you fkn serious ? You can heat it up… mind blown!
2 Likes
I wouldn’t call them “stupid”. Just unwilling to get out of their comfort zone too much, both mentally and physically. Most are just lazy with immense powers of self-justification. I think the latter applies to almost everyone since some people also overthink and/or overdo shit.
How do you communicate with someone if you don’t speak their language?
你明白我在讲什么吗？
(Joke. Kind of.
Some people really need to be bitch slapped HARD before they start listening. I don’t know if it’s a kind of dominance thing due to our “pack animal” instincts or the shock factor or something like that, but it sometimes works IME and I would consider it a viable option if the immediate situation is grave enough.)
The Mandarin words literally mean “you get what I’m saying?” without any hint of linguistic sarcasm haha.
It’s something I would never do because I consider it too insulting for me to pull off on anyone since I’ve had people do this shit to me before IRL in other Asian languages which I don’t understand. I think this qualifies as a confession.
Seriously, I’ll bet lots of older guys here have made lifelong friends after a one-on-one physical altercation. I did.
Yes, I also confess I was young and stupid and there’re other better ways to make friends.
Damn… im even surprised
3 weeks of going OCD on my eating.
Slowly getting the groove back under the bar
Longer and Longer sessions with the medieval machine from hell on no lifting days.
I didnt expect the whale blubber was going too melt off like butter…
18 more weeks to go,
6 Likes
When you’re a naturally big dude carrying a lot of muscle, and you all of a sudden clean up your diet AND add in progressively longer cardio sessions, all while regaining lost muscle - those are the perfect conditions for fat to melt off!
Good job, dude.
2 Likes