Fighting In The Gym

[quote]dk44 wrote:
you should have donkey punched him.[/quote]

Do you even know what a donkey punch is?

Well if you do, make sure you wear a condom.

[quote]evansmi wrote:
It sounds like you’ve never stood up for yourself in your life. Stop doubting yourself and kick the kids ass, you might even earn his respect and find out he’s an ok guy. Although I doubt anyone who picks on the weak is an ok guy. But you’ll earn your own respect, which it sounds like your lacking.[/quote]

This is stupid. I guess its good advice if respecting yourself depends on getting respect from some jackass that you don’t even like.

You handled the situation the correct way, except that you need a new outlook on life. One that doesn’t include giving a shit what high school bullies have to say, this way you won’t get all emotional about what happens and you’ll have a cool enough head to come back with some good shit talk.

When I have had that type of situation in the past, I look right in the guys eyes and say “it kinda seems like you were disrespecting me when you said that. Where you disrespecting me?” His answer dictates your next move. Nine out of ten times, the guy will say no.

But if he says yes, you gotta do what you gotta do. Then tell the powers that be that he spit in your face and you just reacted.

I also like “I fucked your girlfriend, and for that, I’m gonna fuck her again.” (Or his sister, or his mom if shes halfway hot.)

Tell him off right to his face, if he swings, fight back, simple.

Don’t stoop DOWN to his level.

Don’t escalate it, tell him to fuck off and tell the management if he touches you again. Just reading these replies you should be able to see fighting isn’t a good idea. Look what this guy is willing to do:

[quote]HEAVYMETALMATT wrote:
fuck, you have a hell of batter temper than me bro. im unstable at best. i wouldve askedd him and his buddy to step outside with me. went straight to my car grabbed my knuckledusters and fucking destroyed both of them.[/quote]

Once upon a time my buddy and I were getting fast food and talking loudly, and we accidentally insulted some guy in line in front of us. He got really offended and we apologized “Hey man, sorry, we were kidding” but he was really angry.

When we left the restaurant he was waiting in the parking lot with a baseball bat. We apologized again, told him we didn’t want to fight, and fortunately he went back to his car. The funny thing is that it was really fortunate for him, because if he had started to approach us with a bat he would’ve had two Glocks drawn on him. Both my buddy and I were carrying. You just never know what’s going to happen.

[quote]Sentoguy wrote:
Definitely do not find out his daily routine and “put a bat to his face.” That’s premeditated assault with a deadly weapon. That’ll land you in jail and it’s definitely not worth going to jail for a loser like that guy.

Honestly man, we’d all love to just pound the ever living crap out of someone who treats us like shit for no apparent reason. The thing is though, in this day and age in our society, that’ll most likely cause you a whole lot more trouble than it’s worth. We all need to realize that there are consequences for our actions.

Here is the question you need to ask yourself when someone challenges you to a fight (which is, in a round about way, what this guy was doing). “Do you honestly believe that if shit had gone down that this guy would have beat you?” If the answer is no, then why let him get to you.

It’s like if I pulled up to a stop light in a Ferrari and some guy pulls up next to me in a volkswagon bus and starts revving his engine and yelling out his window that he’s gonna blow my doors off. Now, am I really worried that if I actually decided to race him that I would lose? Hell no! So I don’t have to in order to be confident.

Seriously, my suggestion is to get some more confidence. If you really are worried about your fighting ability than go join a boxing gym, or wrestling club, or take some MMA classes for a while. Once you know what you can do if you choose to, then you’ll realize that guys like this one are just jokes and pose no threat to you.

Now, if he still persists, go to management and tell them that he’s harassing you. If he does it again and they see him, the’ll probably kick him out of the gym and depending on what he does, you may even be asked if you want to press charges.

By the way if that happens, say no and try to make friends with this guy. He’s probably just a really insecure dude who needs to pick on others to make himself feel better. If you befriend him you might make a positive change in his life that could wind up changing him dramatically for the rest of his life.

And that my friend takes a hell of a lot more strength (and provides a hell of a lot more satisfaction) than just hauling off and punching someone in the face.

But, hey that’s just what I would do.

Good training,

Sentoguy [/quote]

Hey little man, I think this is the best and most honest poster here in regards to looking out for your well being.

Like this guy says, go join a class, any of the combat style that suits you, and get some skills…then you save it for when you really have to use it, and this asshole may just be one to warrant using it…but trust me, you don’t nedessarily want to “jump” right into a physical situation without thinking about it first…

       I used to be a bouncer, and was into martial arts, and got in loads of fights earlier in my life. At one point a friend and I were asked to break up a fight at a house party...we went back in the house and on the way my friend got jumped by about 4 guys. 

I took the largest looking fool off him and proceeded to beat him hard in the street…unfortunately and fortunately, at that point there were 3 or 4 of his mates on me with a bat, from that I got up to my feet, but then one of them gave me a go with a crowbar to the head, it wasn’t pretty, I went down to my knees from that blow, and luckily for me the cops drove up just after that blow.

Later the guy who hit me w/the crowbar, and another who had struck my other buddy with a bat, were apprehended and we pressed charges on their cowardly asses…

            Now that night four of us "buddies" were together, but only two of us got into it...the other two chose not to participate/help...at first I was mad at them...now I think differently. One thing is you never know in a fight what the end result or consequences will turn out to be....so, keep that in mind, these days a lot of kids think it's much cooler and gets them more respect to pull a gun and take care of any ego bruising that comes their way with that...which isn't good for your training bro...

           lol..anyway, none of these guys have given you any advice that I think you couldn't justify, save maybe the bro who would have you hit the jerkoff with a bat to the face....wow, that is big trouble and I'm skeptical on that being a viable option to say the least..lol...

            Bottom line is you don't need to prove anything to anybody, unless someone really assaults you...which he kind of did,..but remember, it's not like the movies where people hit each other with all sorts of goodies, and keep standing up and just "brush themselves off". 

It can get very, very ugly. You are on your way to being bigger and stronger…keep it up. The day will come when this little asshole will truly fear you. That will be reward enough in time…

            I would tell the gym folks to cover your ass, in case he does continue to where you have to defend yourself in the gym...I would not go looking for him/shit..to get into..as that's another environment where it could turn ugly if you don't  have backup etc.

          Sorry it's such a long post, trying to set you straight..

            good luck buddy, you hang in there.

                   ToneBone

Theres more than one way to fight, and you are young you have to learn all the ways before it’s too late.

I have a feeling this was a very “Light Piss off” that you said.

#1) you should’ve been prepared to fight under any reason at that point.

#2) In an attempt to avoid the fight you should’ve screamed at him “Shut the fuck up, and threaten to hit him”. As you get older there will be times even in offices where people will attempt to bully you with words, but the fear you have learned from fighting will be the same fear that keeps you from quick wit necessary retorts.

I don’t think fighting is always the answer however it is up to you to take an honest look at your situation. Justifying you being scared of him by saying you don’t want to lose your gym membership is not the answer.

Heres a highschool bully with one friend who probably doesn’t feel like getting into it popping shit. A bunch of adults around that would have stopped him, this is your chance to get a good lick in. One good punch you probably would have felt better that day than any other. MMA, Karate, all that stuff is good, but I’ve seen just as many of them get punked too because outside their dojo and regulations many of them just think of what could happen.

get right up in his stupid face and talk shit then throw a head butt so he can’t block you. It’s simple assault which is nothing to worry about and you’ll get a fine if you stick around and wait for the cops to get there, which I assume you wont do.

being a misdemeanor, the cops have to actually SEE you commit it in order for them to arrest you for it, so do it and go home- they can’t come knocking on your door to charge you with a misdemeanor.

I would have followed him home and pulled his electrical meter and cut his phone lines. Fuck with me and you get no electricity and phone, hah.

[quote]USNS physique wrote:
get right up in his stupid face and talk shit then throw a head butt so he can’t block you. It’s simple assault which is nothing to worry about and you’ll get a fine if you stick around and wait for the cops to get there, which I assume you wont do.

being a misdemeanor, the cops have to actually SEE you commit it in order for them to arrest you for it, so do it and go home- they can’t come knocking on your door to charge you with a misdemeanor. [/quote]

LOL. Yeah, headbutts are great close quarter attacks.

But, seriously it’s not like the kid was in some dark alley where only him and this guy could see what was going on. And keep in mind that this guy who is giving him trouble knows who he is. If this guy goes up and starts trouble, you can bet that other gym members are going to take notice. If this kid just starts talking some shit and throws a headbutt (which would appear unwarranted), who do you think looks like the attacker to the bystanders?

That’s right, this kid does. There’s a difference between defending yourself and just willfully getting into a fight.

Now, if this kid makes it perfectly clear that he doesn’t want to fight and then this guy takes a swing at him, well then basically whatever the kid does to defend himself is going to be pretty much justified in the eyes of the onlookers (short of perhaps caving in the other guys skull with a dumbbell, or head stomping the guy if he goes down). After all, as far as they’re concerned, he was just minding his own business, working out, when this other guy came up and just started harassing and assaulting him. He was just defending himself. That’s self defense.

Good training,

Sentoguy

Where I come from it’s definitely not ok to let someone get away with punching or pushing you. Here in the the U.S. it’s considered assault and instigating a fight and you are fully within your legal right to defend yourself once that line has been crossed. Just remember to keep your response measured and don’t go overboard and you’ll be alright.

The guys advising you to ignore them might seem like they’re handing out the rational advice, but there’s nothing rational about being someone’s bitch. Doing so is just asking for more trouble from them down the road.

Also, learning these behavior patterns now while you’re young will greatly increase your odds for being passive-aggressive with self esteem issues later in life. That’s a bad place to be in the game of life.

You seem like the type that thinks things through (possibly too much) without getting hotheaded. If you’re smart, then my advice is for you is to listen more to your gut. If your gut instinct was telling you to defend yourself, but fear (of losing the gym membership, of them, or your ability to fight) held you back… well I think you already know the answer to your question then.

[quote]Mr. Clean & Jerk wrote:
Sentoguy wrote:
It’s like if I pulled up to a stop light in a Ferrari and some guy pulls up next to me in a volkswagon bus and starts revving his engine and yelling out his window that he’s gonna blow my doors off. Now, am I really worried that if I actually decided to race him that I would lose? Hell no! So I don’t have to in order to be confident.

I see someone read “Education of a Bodybuilder.” 'Tis a fine book.[/quote]

I was just thinking how good a responce that was and then you go and tell me its from a book.
Sounds like a good book, think i’m going to try and bit that one out from a read. who wrote it?

[quote]wukey wrote:
Mr. Clean & Jerk wrote:
Sentoguy wrote:
It’s like if I pulled up to a stop light in a Ferrari and some guy pulls up next to me in a volkswagon bus and starts revving his engine and yelling out his window that he’s gonna blow my doors off. Now, am I really worried that if I actually decided to race him that I would lose? Hell no! So I don’t have to in order to be confident.

I see someone read “Education of a Bodybuilder.” 'Tis a fine book.

I was just thinking how good a responce that was and then you go and tell me its from a book.
Sounds like a good book, think i’m going to try and bit that one out from a read. who wrote it?[/quote]

Only problem is if a person needs a book or someone else to tell them this then I don’t think that person really had a ferarri.

[quote]wukey wrote:
Mr. Clean & Jerk wrote:
Sentoguy wrote:
It’s like if I pulled up to a stop light in a Ferrari and some guy pulls up next to me in a volkswagon bus and starts revving his engine and yelling out his window that he’s gonna blow my doors off. Now, am I really worried that if I actually decided to race him that I would lose? Hell no! So I don’t have to in order to be confident.

I see someone read “Education of a Bodybuilder.” 'Tis a fine book.

I was just thinking how good a responce that was and then you go and tell me its from a book.
Sounds like a good book, think i’m going to try and bit that one out from a read. who wrote it?[/quote]

Actually, I’ve never read “Education of a Bodybuilder”. My response was just an example to prove my point. I had no idea someone else had already used that example. I guess I must have been on to something. :wink:

Good training,

Sentoguy

[quote]Tithonus81 wrote:
Where I come from it’s definitely not ok to let someone get away with punching or pushing you. Here in the the U.S. it’s considered assault and instigating a fight and you are fully within your legal right to defend yourself once that line has been crossed. Just remember to keep your response measured and don’t go overboard and you’ll be alright.

The guys advising you to ignore them might seem like they’re handing out the rational advice, but there’s nothing rational about being someone’s bitch. Doing so is just asking for more trouble from them down the road.

Also, learning these behavior patterns now while you’re young will greatly increase your odds for being passive-aggressive with self esteem issues later in life. That’s a bad place to be in the game of life.

You seem like the type that thinks things through (possibly too much) without getting hotheaded. If you’re smart, then my advice is for you is to listen more to your gut. If your gut instinct was telling you to defend yourself, but fear (of losing the gym membership, of them, or your ability to fight) held you back… well I think you already know the answer to your question then.[/quote]

I think that you have a point. However, one doesn’t need to accept every challenge to fight that they encounter in order to keep their self esteem intact. A person who is really confident will often times not feel the need to fight in a situations such as the one described in the OP.

Also, there is such a thing as “appropriate levels of force”, which must be taken into consideration. The guy pushed you, that does not justify punching his lights out. Also realize that “defending yourself” doesn’t necessarily have to be attacking the other person.

For instance, if someone tries to mug you and they pull a knife and you turn and run away. Did you defend yourself? You bet your ass you did. Did that defending yourself involved physically attacking your would be assaulter? No.

Or how about talking someone out of wanting to fight you? Did you defend yourself? Yes. Did it involve physical tactics of any kind? No.

Personally, I think that someone who chooses to fight in a situation like the one mentioned in the OP is the person with a lack of confidence. They feel the need to fight because they need to prove something (both to themselves and to others around them). A person who is truly confident isn’t going to fight until they have absolutely no choice. Why would they? They’ve got their priorities straight.

Heck, if I can go home at the end of the night and relax on the couch with my girl (or for those who have kids, get to see them) and watch some Family Guy, or just spend some quality time, then I consider that a win in my book. Now why should I feel the need to prove how tough I am (which is mostly trying to prove something to myself) and risk ending up in the hospital, or in the morgue, or in jail? And worse yet, risk not being able to see my loved ones? Especially when I don’t have to.

Now if this guy had pulled a weapon on you, or took a swing at you, or backed you into a corner, or waited for you in the parking lot, well then yeah, I would completely understand using physical force to defend yourself. But that’s not what happened.

For all we know this jerk could have nothing to lose. He could care less about if he winds up in jail, or dead. He may have a criminal record a mile long, could have joined a gang and have faith that they would back him up if need be. Like someone else mentioned before, he could be armed.

The OP on the other hand probably does have something besides proving how tough he is to live for.

Good training,

Sentoguy

Something about T-Nation and other bodybuilding sites seems to attract the worlds toughest people who are willing to go to jail over the tiniest things.

This is the real world not some movie where you knock a guy out and he buys you a beer. That guy is know pressing charges against you and maybe a lawsuit. Is this stupid? Yes but it’s how things happen now.

It sounds like by just telling him to piss off and ignoring him, you did the right thing.

I’m pretty impressed. If you’re throwing around a 40k dumbbell for pullovers or Dumbbell Bench or what-have-you, you probably wouldn’t be called jacked but you defiantly shouldn’t look like a frail and easy target.

What I’m getting at is either the guy who stepped up to you in the gym must be pretty massive to feel comfortable picking on someone whose throwing around a 40k dumbbell. So points to you for not being intimidated by such a huge dude and telling him to piss off.

And whether that’s the case or not and this guy is bigger, smaller, or about the same as you, you still did the right thing by simply letting him know you think he’s a cunt and ignoring him. He obviously came over with some intention of starting shit and you didn’t let that happen.

Don’t let people like this keep you from doing what you want to do. I hope you finish out school. If you want, make sure you go to college. You won’t find nearly as many cunts like this guy in college.

[quote]scottiscool wrote:
Something about T-Nation and other bodybuilding sites seems to attract the worlds toughest people who are willing to go to jail over the tiniest things.

This is the real world not some movie where you knock a guy out and he buys you a beer. That guy is know pressing charges against you and maybe a lawsuit. Is this stupid? Yes but it’s how things happen now. [/quote]

This is reality, keep thinking things through, unlike what some say, you’re not a bitch for letting the jerkoff push you…whoopie frickin do…now if he punched you or worse, then defend yourself, take out that unreleased aggression, but not for a simple push…hell does anyone think the guy made himself look tough by pushing this kid? I think not, probably made a lot of other people think, “what an asshole”.

              Bottom line, you're doing fine..many people who end up being "tough guys", started out just like you my friend...so I say, don't sweat it bro, you'll have your days in the sun.

                  later TBN

[quote]FightingScott wrote:
It sounds like by just telling him to piss off and ignoring him, you did the right thing.

I’m pretty impressed. If you’re throwing around a 40k dumbbell for pullovers or Dumbbell Bench or what-have-you, you probably wouldn’t be called jacked but you defiantly shouldn’t look like a frail and easy target.

What I’m getting at is either the guy who stepped up to you in the gym must be pretty massive to feel comfortable picking on someone whose throwing around a 40k dumbbell. So points to you for not being intimidated by such a huge dude and telling him to piss off.

And whether that’s the case or not and this guy is bigger, smaller, or about the same as you, you still did the right thing by simply letting him know you think he’s a cunt and ignoring him. He obviously came over with some intention of starting shit and you didn’t let that happen.

Don’t let people like this keep you from doing what you want to do. I hope you finish out school. If you want, make sure you go to college. You won’t find nearly as many cunts like this guy in college. [/quote]

Another intelligent and sound post, hope you’re reading these latest posts buddy…

             Good one Scottsman.

                   TBN