Ex Wife Scores Some Lotto Money

^ (Sorry long) Let me share my other story for you. I remarried to a wonderful woman has it been perfect NO, no partnership is. Her story.
My wife now was 14 from bad home, got with a 21 year old guy and by 17 married with her first kid. She spent then next 5 years spitting out two more kids. She was uneducated and in a new town when they split for good. His father was the X county sheriff and had connections all over the place. My wife was told she is not getting the kids at all and if she tried he would steal them to Mexico. No BS. My wife didnt fight just got what she could, I met her in undergrad.

Now $12000 later we were able through the courts to get full custody and he was supposed to pay child support. How did we finally get there, he was arrested twice with felony conviction of Meth. He refused to get a job after he was released and his CS back payment was $98,0000. He will now bounce from job to job and work under the table so he doesnt have to pay CS.

Now I have been raising and paying for his kids since they were 2,5 and 6. Yes she has three kids oldest with Downs syndrome. Was anything done to him with all this back CS, NO only because we kept paying and going after him did it finally get back to court. I did all this for my wife but the battle she has had is not easy, many nights of her crying.

So my wife has said some of things on the phone that if other people overheard and didnt know the back story could be looked at as sounding horrible. Not saying X that is the same situation you over heard. Dont get me started on my brothers X good lord this kind of shit has been part of my life for 20 years.

[quote]fighting_fires wrote:
I read most of this and me, being a young unexperienced person is going to chime in. I think a lot of it depends on the parents. Mine are divorced. My father is a dead beat, and my mother so as not to have to deal with him anymore as part of the divorce agreement stated that he gives up the kids to her (thank god) and she doesnt care about the child support, just let her have her kids, granted he would never have gotten us but it made life easier.

If he won the lotto noone would care and we wouldnt go after any of it, we are happy as we are. Now if we wont the lotto he would magically appear so it does go both ways.
[/quote]

Don’t be too quick to write your father off. It’s all too easy for divorced mother’s to convince their children that their father is a bad person, and a “dead beat”. Just remember there are 2 sides to every story, and there’s alot about life that you won’t understand until your much older.

[quote]Broncoandy wrote:

Don’t be too quick to write your father off. It’s all too easy for divorced mother’s to convince their children that their father is a bad person, and a “dead beat”. Just remember there are 2 sides to every story, and there’s alot about life that you won’t understand until your much older.[/quote]

You are right, but now that I’m older than he was with a kid of my own, I think my ‘father’ is more a cocksucker now than I did when I was 3-18 years old.

Some people just suck at life.

[quote]fighting_fires wrote:
As far as kman attacking DJ, i think thats a bad idea. The man is has a lot of legitimate posts on this site and he is speaking from experience. Even if for instance youre in law school, it doesnt matter until you practice. Got into an argument with a friend over MY 401K and his only argument was, im in school for business management i know these things.

How about trying to have your 401K managed correctly as a 21 y/o who is just learning about it and figuring it out step by step with real money at stake, other than reading something in a book about a man investing millions of dollars and acting like you know. I dont know it and i can admit that, but its a situation to situation thing.

Apparently this is how DJ situation went, also from this site he seems like a stand up guy, dont go ragging on him being a young father, thats shitty. From what ive gathered communicating with him hes doing very well for himself which is currently well above you and your private school education. I hate when people feel entitled because they go to an expensive school.

As for just giving her the money, makes sense to me. A man has a very slim chance of winning in the court of law against a woman who shelters his children. Court costs, lost wages for being at court, and mental strain all come into account in this situation. See above, my mother didnt want to deal with it and said screw the child support ill take care of them so that we dont have to deal with you and court forever.

To be honest this is a situation where most people dont want to be the one to change it, because well frankly, they wont. and theres too much at stake.

As stated above, my comments may be null because i am young, unmarried, and dont have children. But i have seen this from a childs view which should have some merit. [/quote]

Most of this is more ignorant than what you are trying to make me out to be. I’m sure you read DJHT’s false accusation of what I was trying to say and then sided based on that.

I stated that based on his former situation, yes, it was probably in his best interest to just put up with everything and deal with the system in order to see his kids. My main point was that in this HYPOTHETICAL situation, where one wins 56 million dollars, it is not in the public’s best interest to just settle with your ex-wife (10 years removed!!!), even if it may be in your best interest. The precedent that it sets is far too grave and frankly laughable. I would have fought to the death to not give the bitch a dime, as I see that as the right thing to do and the best thing for society in general. DJHT obviously didn’t see things this way and would have just given the ex 5 million or so just to shut her up, although she was the one that left and deserved none of it.

Would this line of thought cause a lot of trouble? Yes. Would it just be easier to fork over the money? Yes. Would I have done it? No. Far too many people complain about the ‘system’ and ‘injustice’ and whatever buzz word they make up so that they can bitch to their friends, but when put in a situation to do something about it, they turn their backs.

Apparently DJHT, you think that this is the ‘practical’ approach and the ‘adult way’ and I find that line of thought appauling. Maybe you feel like a broken man in regards to this, but don’t put everyone else in that basket. Thank God that many great men (and women) in histroy decided to ACT rather than just see a problem and take your approach of ‘it’s too hard for me individually, I prob won’t make a big difference cuz I’m not that special, what’s the point anyways’. Tell that to people Like MLK Jr., Abe Lincoln, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and Aung San Suu Kyi. Obviously there are varying degrees to their accomplishments, but with a ‘why do I have to do the dirty work’ initial line of thinking, these people would have never accomplished anything. Self fulfilling prophecy much?

And another thing FF, how the hell do you base my ‘entitlement’ upon where I go to school? I know nothing about you, but I would be surprised if you did not grow up with more opportunities than me. You clearly know nothing about me but based on my private school I have an automatic sense of entitlement huh? I grew up on the southside of Chicago, went CPS k-12, have a blue collar mom who works 60 hours a week and a blue collar dad who has been out of work for 10 years due to medical problems. If working my ass off and realizing that I was smarter than most everyone around me is entitlement then I guess I’m guilty.

[quote]kman3b18 wrote:
If working my ass off and realizing that I was smarter than most everyone around me is entitlement then I guess I’m guilty.
[/quote]

A truly smart person would understand perspective, and how it changes as you age and experience things.

Until you have kids, and the possibility of them being taken from you, and until you understand what it is like being a bill to someone rather than their son, you should be more reserved with your comments about that which you CAN’T fucking understand until you LIVE it. You CANNOT have any relevant perspective on the above without living it in some way, you just can’t, I don’t give a shit how smart you think you are.

I feel like your head is in the right place, and you are heading in the right direction, but your delivery blows dude.

Kansas City Kid, Again you take childish approach of changing the system, many people do great things at the cost of others. Why do you insist on attacking the fact that not everyone is in their 20’s with the world is their oyster view on things. You skip over the 4% of the earnings for CS? Now just for arguing sake, you are this guy and you were seeing your kids a couple days a week. You win this money and then the X says okay you are not seeing your kids we are going back to the court ordered standard visitation.

NOW you have sacrificed your kids well being for what? Spite and shallow caring of changing the system? Your stuck in court for years not seeing your kids so you can tell them some day “Ha I kicked your moms ass in court and she got no money, but I changed the system I am a better man”. Again this is the real world, you want to change the system great become a lawyer then a judge and be an advocate.
Being smarter than most doesnt mean shit, I have 14 years of college so by your thinking that makes me smarter than you.

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Then I probably won’t be getting married. I have heard way too many horror stories about this and ALL of them involve the guy getting screwed over even after the wife cheated on him first.

[/quote]

Having kids with someone, married or not, sets you up to be very vulnerable too. Particularly if you are a decent human being and the other parent has no integrity.

Hell hath no fury dude, and we both know even if she cheats, she will feel scorned.

So wrap your shit up lol, and don’t go sport fucking anything that doesn’t have a career making at least 70-80% of what you do. You are too old to be playing around with chicks with no future.

If it weren’t for love, men would never get married a second time.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]kman3b18 wrote:
If working my ass off and realizing that I was smarter than most everyone around me is entitlement then I guess I’m guilty.
[/quote]

A truly smart person would understand perspective, and how it changes as you age and experience things.

Until you have kids, and the possibility of them being taken from you, and until you understand what it is like being a bill to someone rather than their son, you should be more reserved with your comments about that which you CAN’T fucking understand until you LIVE it. You CANNOT have any relevant perspective on the above without living it in some way, you just can’t, I don’t give a shit how smart you think you are.

I feel like your head is in the right place, and you are heading in the right direction, but your delivery blows dude.[/quote]

I understand perspective quite well, and yes, my delivery blows by design as it was meant to get a rise. And I also concede that I don’t have the experience in question, but I fully believe that I would live by the words that I have written if ever put in a similar situation to what we are discussing. Might this thought process of mine change? Yes, it might, but then again I am spiteful when it comes to something like this and would look to the greater good. I would have faith in the fact that even if I did not get to see my kids when growing up due to this situation, they would be smart enough later in life to realize what I did and realize how their mother was soulless.

It think it says a lot about a man’s choices and decision making though when they would actually marry someone who would use their kids as a weapon and free ride. That seems to be more of a western world, if not American, phenomenon though, with it’s own issues.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Then I probably won’t be getting married. I have heard way too many horror stories about this and ALL of them involve the guy getting screwed over even after the wife cheated on him first.

[/quote]

Having kids with someone, married or not, sets you up to be very vulnerable too. Particularly if you are a decent human being and the other parent has no integrity.

Hell hath no fury dude, and we both know even if she cheats, she will feel scorned.

So wrap your shit up lol, and don’t go sport fucking anything that doesn’t have a career making at least 70-80% of what you do. You are too old to be playing around with chicks with no future.[/quote]

Trust me, I know.

Anywhoo, while I do want kids, most of this shit just sounds like a headache. Marriage doesn’t strike me as being good for the guy much at all. If some heifer can come along ten years after a divorce and take away money she didn’t have anything to do with earning, then things are truly fucked up.

Yes, I can see where D is coming from as far as wanting to see his kids…but the simple fact that you have to sell out to be a decent father is bullshit.

In this day and age, why the hell are women still automatically getting the kids? How ass backwards is that? If the dad makes that much more than the woman, the choice should be obvious.

Also, does this work in reverse? If a wife cheats leading to divorce and she ends up making 100K more than the husband, does he get a fat paycheck?

If not, why the fuck not?

The system is fucked and it seems that the only reason we keep playing that game is because it is looked down upon in society not to.

At this point in my life, she would have to be one extremely spectacular woman for me to cast my worries to the wind and jump into marriage without 3 prenupts and a live in lawyer.

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Kansas City Kid, Again you take childish approach of changing the system, many people do great things at the cost of others. Why do you insist on attacking the fact that not everyone is in their 20’s with the world is their oyster view on things.[/quote]

I really hope you are not raising your kids to have this attitude. As I’ve said, you are so bitter that even I can taste it. No, they may not be special snowflakes as you say, but they should come to this realization on their own if that is the case.

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Then I probably won’t be getting married. I have heard way too many horror stories about this and ALL of them involve the guy getting screwed over even after the wife cheated on him first.

[/quote]

So wrap your shit up lol, and don’t go sport fucking anything that doesn’t have a career making at least 70-80% of what you do. You are too old to be playing around with chicks with no future.[/quote]

A strong point that too many people don’t adhere to.

[quote]kman3b18 wrote:

Most of this is more ignorant than what you are trying to make me out to be. I’m sure you read DJHT’s false accusation of what I was trying to say and then sided based on that.

I stated that based on his former situation, yes, it was probably in his best interest to just put up with everything and deal with the system in order to see his kids. My main point was that in this HYPOTHETICAL situation, where one wins 56 million dollars, it is not in the public’s best interest to just settle with your ex-wife (10 years removed!!!), even if it may be in your best interest. The precedent that it sets is far too grave and frankly laughable. I would have fought to the death to not give the bitch a dime, as I see that as the right thing to do and the best thing for society in general. DJHT obviously didn’t see things this way and would have just given the ex 5 million or so just to shut her up, although she was the one that left and deserved none of it.

Would this line of thought cause a lot of trouble? Yes. Would it just be easier to fork over the money? Yes. Would I have done it? No. Far too many people complain about the ‘system’ and ‘injustice’ and whatever buzz word they make up so that they can bitch to their friends, but when put in a situation to do something about it, they turn their backs.

Apparently DJHT, you think that this is the ‘practical’ approach and the ‘adult way’ and I find that line of thought appauling. Maybe you feel like a broken man in regards to this, but don’t put everyone else in that basket. Thank God that many great men (and women) in histroy decided to ACT rather than just see a problem and take your approach of ‘it’s too hard for me individually, I prob won’t make a big difference cuz I’m not that special, what’s the point anyways’. Tell that to people Like MLK Jr., Abe Lincoln, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and Aung San Suu Kyi. Obviously there are varying degrees to their accomplishments, but with a ‘why do I have to do the dirty work’ initial line of thinking, these people would have never accomplished anything. Self fulfilling prophecy much?

[/quote]

I can’t see how you can instigate change by fighting “to the death” and pushing for a protracted legal battle which relies on you lining the pockets of very system you are trying to defy, just to make a stand against spousal greed…it’s certainly not the way the likes of Ghandi did it.

The system isn’t going to change what it profits from.

[quote]kman3b18 wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]kman3b18 wrote:
If working my ass off and realizing that I was smarter than most everyone around me is entitlement then I guess I’m guilty.
[/quote]

A truly smart person would understand perspective, and how it changes as you age and experience things.

Until you have kids, and the possibility of them being taken from you, and until you understand what it is like being a bill to someone rather than their son, you should be more reserved with your comments about that which you CAN’T fucking understand until you LIVE it. You CANNOT have any relevant perspective on the above without living it in some way, you just can’t, I don’t give a shit how smart you think you are.

I feel like your head is in the right place, and you are heading in the right direction, but your delivery blows dude.[/quote]

I understand perspective quite well, and yes, my delivery blows by design as it was meant to get a rise. And I also concede that I don’t have the experience in question, but I fully believe that I would live by the words that I have written if ever put in a similar situation to what we are discussing. Might this thought process of mine change? Yes, it might, but then again I am spiteful when it comes to something like this and would look to the greater good. I would have faith in the fact that even if I did not get to see my kids when growing up due to this situation, they would be smart enough later in life to realize what I did and realize how their mother was soulless.

It think it says a lot about a man’s choices and decision making though when they would actually marry someone who would use their kids as a weapon and free ride. That seems to be more of a western world, if not American, phenomenon though, with it’s own issues.[/quote]

While you seem pretty head strong, I’d like to think you wouldn’t sacrifice your kids for anything, let alone to make a point to your ex-wife.

While they may grow to ‘understand’, they will still hurt, cry and resent you.

What I don’t understand if the ex-wife in the story was found to have cheated, how’d she get custody of the kid? Also, there are some obnoxious douchebags in this thread who keep commenting on things they know nothing about. The patience of some posters could only have come about from raising children.

[quote]roybot wrote:

[quote]kman3b18 wrote:

Most of this is more ignorant than what you are trying to make me out to be. I’m sure you read DJHT’s false accusation of what I was trying to say and then sided based on that.

I stated that based on his former situation, yes, it was probably in his best interest to just put up with everything and deal with the system in order to see his kids. My main point was that in this HYPOTHETICAL situation, where one wins 56 million dollars, it is not in the public’s best interest to just settle with your ex-wife (10 years removed!!!), even if it may be in your best interest. The precedent that it sets is far too grave and frankly laughable. I would have fought to the death to not give the bitch a dime, as I see that as the right thing to do and the best thing for society in general. DJHT obviously didn’t see things this way and would have just given the ex 5 million or so just to shut her up, although she was the one that left and deserved none of it.

Would this line of thought cause a lot of trouble? Yes. Would it just be easier to fork over the money? Yes. Would I have done it? No. Far too many people complain about the ‘system’ and ‘injustice’ and whatever buzz word they make up so that they can bitch to their friends, but when put in a situation to do something about it, they turn their backs.

Apparently DJHT, you think that this is the ‘practical’ approach and the ‘adult way’ and I find that line of thought appauling. Maybe you feel like a broken man in regards to this, but don’t put everyone else in that basket. Thank God that many great men (and women) in histroy decided to ACT rather than just see a problem and take your approach of ‘it’s too hard for me individually, I prob won’t make a big difference cuz I’m not that special, what’s the point anyways’. Tell that to people Like MLK Jr., Abe Lincoln, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and Aung San Suu Kyi. Obviously there are varying degrees to their accomplishments, but with a ‘why do I have to do the dirty work’ initial line of thinking, these people would have never accomplished anything. Self fulfilling prophecy much?

[/quote]

I can’t see how you can instigate change by fighting “to the death” and pushing for a protracted legal battle which relies on you lining the pockets of very system you are trying to defy, just to make a stand against spousal greed…it’s certainly not the way the likes of Ghandi did it.

The system isn’t going to change what it profits from.[/quote]

It’s clearly an imperfect system but in today’s society this is the only practical way of getting things done. Legal action and legislation is how change is made, however slow and tedious the process may be. So the big question one would have to answer in respone to you is ‘do the ends justify the means’?

WhiteFlash, you don’t lose custody of your kids for cheating. At least not in Canada.
What surprises me most about every thread that pops up in here about divorce is how it seems that in the States the mother always gets full custody of the kids. Joint custody (half time with each parent) is the norm here, and to have it any other way you’d have to prove your ex is a real POS and a danger to the kids.

^^^Didn’t think cheating was automatic grounds for losing custody, just thought it would pull favor towards the party that was cheated on.

[quote]dianab wrote:
WhiteFlash, you don’t lose custody of your kids for cheating. At least not in Canada.
What surprises me most about every thread that pops up in here about divorce is how it seems that in the States the mother always gets full custody of the kids. Joint custody (half time with each parent) is the norm here, and to have it any other way you’d have to prove your ex is a real POS and a danger to the kids.[/quote]

I am hoping things are changing, but they seem to toss the kids with the mother no matter what here unless she is mainlining heroin in the court room.

I mean, I know there may have been some deadbeat dads in the past, but I don’t see that so much anymore. What I do see are a lot of guys being taken for just about everything they have to pay child support and to pay off the wife.

I also DO believe in child support, but I also believe in letting the father be the damn father.

Our court system seems set up to always protect the woman. I guess we have to fend for ourselves.

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]dianab wrote:
WhiteFlash, you don’t lose custody of your kids for cheating. At least not in Canada.
What surprises me most about every thread that pops up in here about divorce is how it seems that in the States the mother always gets full custody of the kids. Joint custody (half time with each parent) is the norm here, and to have it any other way you’d have to prove your ex is a real POS and a danger to the kids.[/quote]

I am hoping things are changing, but they seem to toss the kids with the mother no matter what here unless she is mainlining heroin in the court room.

I mean, I know there may have been some deadbeat dads in the past, but I don’t see that so much anymore. What I do see are a lot of guys being taken for just about everything they have to pay child support and to pay off the wife.

I also DO believe in child support, but I also believe in letting the father be the damn father.

Our court system seems set up to always protect the woman. I guess we have to fend for ourselves.[/quote]

I don’t even want to tell you what my buddy has and is still going through to get his daughter. The mother has 6 fucking different evaluations from 6 different organizations/doctors/police that she is unfit to be a parent.

That poor little girl has been given hell for a young life because of that woman, and the courts still are giving her every opportunity to keep her.

On the way to the last court date the mother physically assaulted her ride to the court house (her father) to the point where he got out of the car, and called the cops to pick her up. And they still granted her a continuance because she “was unable to appear because of transportation issues”.

Like you said, she would have to mainline in the courtroom for her to not get the little girl.