Every 6 Months

[Modi]

So I just got back from the dentist, for my 6 month cleaning. I usually dread this slightly more than taxes, but a little less than 20 rep sets of squats. Here’s my account, to the best I can recall.

Oh, it’s good to see you, how’s your day going?

Ahh, pretty good…up till now.

Oh, heehee, don’t worry, we’ll take great care of you. Have a seat in the rack, er I mean chair and let me take a look at your teeth.

Ok.

How are your teeth? Any complaints I should know about?

Nope.

Oh, not much of a talker. Ok, let’s take a look.

(At this point various sharp objects are jabbed into every tooth and crevice).

Mmmghn.

Oops, looks like you’re a bit of a bleeder, let me suction that…Oh, that may be a cavity, let me grab my pick and do some exploring.

(Scrape, scrape, pick, dig, pick).

Hmm…I’m not sure whether that is a cavity yet or not.

How much more digging until it becomes one?

Huh?

Nothing.

Ok, that doesn’t look like a cavity, it’s just an indentation, maybe it didn’t get smoothed over perfectly after the last filling. Not to worry. Ok, I’m going to begin the cleaning, open wide.

(Scrape, scrape, pick, spurt).

Oh dear, it looks like your gums are a bit sensitive, do they bleed much?

No, not really, but I don’t jab them with a sharp pick very often.

You’re funny. The more you jab them, the less they’ll bleed.

Huh?

(Seemingly hours later)

Ok, all done with the cleaning, I’m just going to floss you now. Open real wide.

(Insert dental floss, and begin sawing motion through gums looking for bone, continuing violent insertion and sawing action on each tooth.)

Well, your teeth look great, but you could probably floss a little more often. How often do you floss exactly?

Usually for 2 weeks after I see you, and then again the week before I come back.

Well, let’s try to floss more often. It’s good for your health. It’s like going to the gym. Nobody likes it, but it’s good for you.

How often do you go to the gym?

Well, I have a membership at the Y, but I haven’t been yet this year.

Why not?

Well, I don’t really like it, and whenever I go, it always hurts the next day.

Kinda like going to the dentist?

Uh, yeah, I guess.

I like it.

You like what.

Going to the gym.

Really??? How often do you go?

6 days a week.

Really??? Why so much?

Because I like to stay healthy, and I like being strong.

But why do you have to go so often. Can’t you just run or something?

Can’t I just brush my teeth, and skip flossing?

Oh, no! Flossing is essential. You’re not implying that lifting weights is as important as flossing are you? Usually when I go to the gym, I just do cardio.

And how often is that again?

Oh, I know I should go more, maybe I’ll start again in the spring.

It is the spring.

Well, I’ll start before the summer, so I can look good by then.

Maybe that’s when I’ll start flossing. How about I start flossing regularly, and you start going to the gym and lifting weights.

But I don’t want to get bulky. I just want to tone a little.

(Blood pressure rising) Uhh, I’m not going down this road…Just go to the gym, hire a trainer to set you up with a workout. Do that a couple of days each week, and go ahead and do your cardio on the other days. You’re not going to get bulky unless you have superhuman genetics and you eat a ton.

Oh, does diet really effect it that much?

Can I have my toothbrush?

Oh sure, and some floss too. You are going to start flossing, right?

Are you going to go to the gym?

Uhh, maybe, I mean, when I have time.

Here, keep your floss.

Ok, you’re right, I’ll go to the gym a few times a week, and you’ll floss right?

Yeah, a few times a week.

Huh?

Never mind. Yes I’ll floss every day. But if I come back in 6 months and you haven’t been to the gym, then I’m not brushing my teeth anymore either.

Huh?

Never mind. See you in 6 months.

[rrjc5488]

LOL.

That was pretty damn good.

[Miserere]

This is frickin hilarious. LOL!

I hope it happened for real. But if it didn’t, well done on some mean humour.

And you know 6 months from now he’ll look the same, right?

[tmoney1]

Hilarious Modi!!! Job well done.

[on_edge]

Floss teeth every day, brush teeth and mouth THOROUGHLY 2X a day, rinse with H2O2 once a day and quit going to the dentist. Problem solved.

[tGunslinger]

LOL!

…but you do floss right?

As a recovering anti-flossite, I can tell you that if you start flossing everyday, your gums stop bleeding; your gums turn a healthy pink; your breath improves; your teeth stay whiter, longer; you don’t get any cavities anymore; your dentist stops bitching at you; so on, so forth.

[new2training]

Funny Modi.

I’ve been curious, what is your avatar and screen name from?

[dragonmamma]

Ha-ha, that was great!

Reminds me of the dental assistant Trixie, who I dubbed Trixie the Torturer. She’d hack away at my gums like Anthony Perkins went at Janet Leigh in Psycho, and then tsk-tsk at how much my gums were bleeding.

I changed dentists because of her.

[Professor_X]

This thread SUCKS!

[Kalle]

Very good job, really funny.

I don’t mind going to the dentist for cleanings,/check ups the dentist is kinda hot and flirts with me the whole time and rubs her boobs on my shoulder. Kind of like a good haircut expect you can’t talk half the time.

[Tiribulus]

Outstanding Governor. Really. Very entertaining.

Just be glad he wasn’t our resident oral technician here or you may have wound up with a floss incision through your aveolar process all the way to your left nostril with all that sawing.

[Modi]

[quote]Miserere wrote:
This is frickin hilarious. LOL!

I hope it happened for real. But if it didn’t, well done on some mean humour.

And you know 6 months from now he’ll look the same, right? :-)[/quote]

Yes, this is a true story based on a lot of friendly banter during the last two encounters with my dental hygenist.

[Modi]

[quote]tGunslinger wrote:
LOL!

…but you do floss right?

As a recovering anti-flossite, I can tell you that if you start flossing everyday, your gums stop bleeding; your gums turn a healthy pink; your breath improves; your teeth stay whiter, longer; you don’t get any cavities anymore; your dentist stops bitching at you; so on, so forth.[/quote]

Yes, I floss. More often than the story would have you believe, but probably less often than I should. But I never intentionally try to inflict pain or laugh at the sight of a piece of floss being wedged deeply into my gums.

[Modi]

[quote]new2training wrote:
Funny Modi.

I’ve been curious, what is your avatar and screen name from?[/quote]

Modi is one of Thor’s two sons. The other is Magni (god of strength). Modi was the god of battle. Just an acknowledgement to my intensity in the gym.

[Modi]

[quote]Professor X wrote:
This thread SUCKS![/quote]

Haha. Sorry Professor. No harm meant. I’m sure your delicate as a flower, and derive no pleasure whatsoever from the whole ordeal!

[Modi]

[quote]Tiribulus wrote:
Outstanding Governor. Really. Very entertaining.

Just be glad he wasn’t our resident oral technician here or you may have wound up with a floss incision through your aveolar process all the way to your left nostril with all that sawing.[/quote]

Thanks Tirib, actually the infictor of pain is a she, and while she did seem to derive a sick sense of pleasure from the session, I suppose it was not much different than inflicting pain on a friend in the gym. I was, however, prepared to put an end to it if the floss reached my jaw bone.

[Professor_X]

[quote]Modi wrote:
Tiribulus wrote:
Outstanding Governor. Really. Very entertaining.

Just be glad he wasn’t our resident oral technician here or you may have wound up with a floss incision through your aveolar process all the way to your left nostril with all that sawing.

Thanks Tirib, actually the infictor of pain is a she, and while she did seem to derive a sick sense of pleasure from the session, I suppose it was not much different than inflicting pain on a friend in the gym. I was, however, prepared to put an end to it if the floss reached my jaw bone.
[/quote]

Ironically, I usually hear, “this has been the most pleasant experience I have ever had here”. Beware of small health care professionals. People assume that since it is a woman, they will be more gentle. This is very often not the case and the extreme opposite of the reality.

I know I’m strong. I don’t have to prove it on someone’s mandible.

[Majin]

[quote]Professor X wrote:
This thread SUCKS![/quote]

-Noooooo! Trouble approaches! Such hostile attitudes will surely scare off newly joining members in the coveted 150lb male category… Let’s gut the entire site just to play it safe.

• Are you sure you want to do all that gutting?

• I want to gut something.

• So you confirm you want the gutting sequence to commence?

• Some gutting must take place!

• Mmmm, that’s pretty gutsy.

• Just gut it.

[tGunslinger]

[quote]Modi wrote:
Yes, I floss. More often than the story would have you believe, but probably less often than I should. But I never intentionally try to inflict pain or laugh at the sight of a piece of floss being wedged deeply into my gums.[/quote]

Preaching to the choir, man. I went years only flossing sporadically because my dentist’s hygienist would “teach” me to floss by trying to gouge out my teeth with a piece of fishing line.

It wasn’t until the dentist hired a very good hygienist who was pretty gentle about flossing.

She was the first hygienist to tell me that I wasn’t supposed to try and cut my teeth out when I flossed (that what all the other dentist’s did when tried to teach me how to floss!), that I could be gentle with it.

I’ve been flossing ever since.

[Modi]

04/14/07 - Dental log

A)Brush teeth x 60 sec

B)Floss x all teeth (no blood, must not have worked hard enough) Note: Increase tension tomorrow, may switch over to fishing line as per tgunslinger’s recommendation.

Do you think my dental hygienist made it to the gym this morning?