No. Medicaid and Medicare don’t allow it, and I don’t feel right charging some people and not others. If it happens 2-3 times I talk to them about the wasted resource and needing to pay the light bill and if it continues from there I discharge them.
Today’s person has zero history of flakiness. I was mostly just being grumpy.
Which ones were you caught up in?
Fatherhood. 
Ahhhh. I haven’t gone too far into that one. I started at the beginning and there is a lot to get through. I creep a little on those threads but rarely comment. I find it interesting to see all the different perspectives. I like that there can be something that I completely disagree with but can still see the perspective of the other side. Although sometimes not so much. Lol.
Friday, October 2
I forgot to weigh. I called out today - I was thinking I was only mildly sick, but kind of wanted the mental health day because husband is out of town and the house is very clean (lol, the now-famous cleaner came), but I just got back from finally walking Louie, and the two miles sucked. Before I’d moved around much I thought I’d lift after the walk, but no. Tomorrow maybe.
I’m eating the Italian chicken vegetable soup I made Monday (yummy) and planning to snuggle up to the dog afterward and watch TV and nap. I don’t know why I feel that I have to be legitimately ill to be a giant slacker, since I love sick days so much and am a grownup and thus allowed to have them if I want, but there for some reason needs to be a discernible malady for me to really relish it. Ideally the malady isn’t too troubling, as is the case today, so I can feel well enough to really lean into being sick.
It’s best if husband isn’t here, because he’s a big believer in “a walk will make you feel better,” which no, it won’t. A rom-com will make me feel better. Ice cream in bed. My real pillow on the couch, and a real blanket.
I have real concern about being the one who dies first, because I know how it’ll go. “You need some fresh air!” “Drink some water!” And he’ll be putting forkfuls of food to my lips. Whereas if it’s him dying, I’ll brush his hair back from his forehead (if he still has any) and softly murmur things like “there there” and bring him things but not force them on him.
I should probably talk to the kids about my expectations.
When I go I want morphine and a little kicker of epinephrine cuz I want it to be fun. I don’t want to quietly float off into oblivion. Then when a blood vessel finally blows or what ever, Zap! Like shutting of the tv.
Hope you feel better soon. But in the mean time, enjoy the snuggles with Louie!
Have you been around many dying people? Because I’ve been to a handful of deaths, and none of them looked like they wanted to be woken up to party. I’m not sure they’d be able to get “up” so much as have that nauseating rapid heart rate, sweaty thing you might get with covid and too much cold medicine.
If I COULD rouse for one more good time, I’d be in for it. I’d probably spend it chatting and making jokes. But I’m planning for the death itself to be more like being so sleepy and snuggling in just right and it feeling really good to drop off.
I expect the non-upper meds to help with that. lol
A few.
. I don’t blame them. Clearly they were in bad shape.
I just don’t want it to be sad. Maybe the morphine and epinephrine for the guests then?
I may also have misread the tone. I couldn’t/can’t quite read the tone. I thought it was whimsical meandering, but you may be more serious that what I was reading in to it?
Shit! I’m sick, and feeling a little drifty. Lemme go back and see what we’re talking about…
Oh I remember. HockyGuy dragging me out for a restorative walk or a plate of pasta and meatballs while I’m trying to die.
Ok, so my point is that I want a relaxing death. That’s what I’m telling the kids. No uppers! Unless I ask for them. (“Sweetie, could you run out and get me some blow? That’d be a big help.”)
Thats the spirit!
We don’t need no organ failures. We want them to say “fuck this. I quit!”!!!
Ring the bell, Liver!
I want to die in my sleep like my grandpa.
Not screaming in fear like the people that were riding in his car.
Sorry, old joke.
I plan to go out of this world the way I came into it.
Naked, screaming, and covered in someone else’s blood.
I actually laughed out loud on that one. 
Hopefully no vaginas are involved in this one…
Funny enough I WAS a c-section…
I laughed, too!
Are you a former poster, OyAm, with a name change? My sense is yes. Regardless, though, I’m glad you’re here. I enjoy your posts.
Go figure.
That must be why you have nice clavicle width!!!
So, does that mean that when you leave your house you go out the window?
Another old one, courtesy of Steven Wright.
Saturday, October 4
Weight 144.8
CG Max day 46/50 - RDL, chest press, bridge, rotational row, sumo squat, shoulder press - with cardio warmup. I was surprised at how well this went, as I’m still a little under the weather. But it was fantastic - added weight and really need to buy more. That Christmas 2024 present from the husband, “weights,” is ongoing, right? Because I need bigger dumbbells and a barbell with weights at this point. NEED.
Meanwhile, I’m thrilled with my weight, which may have had something to do with the tone of my workout. Yesterday I was shocked, after not weighing for a couple of days, to see 144.3. I ran out of creatine earlier this week, but am back on it, so should be stabilized there. Could be less fluid because I missed workouts. But whatever - I feel like I can finally really see a difference.
Husband already took the dog for a hike, but we’ll go back out because it’s fall and gorgeous out. I can walk to “the good rock” just a little distance in and hang out, or actually hike if I’m still feeling motivated, as my team will tromp up hills indefinitely. (I’m only willing to tromp up them because I like tromping back down them so much.)
So far a perfect day!
@s.gentz I finally divided my dose a couple of weeks ago, and man, what a nice change. No more flu-y feeling on day 2.