About 9 years ago, my 7 year old son and I had spent the day playing at the park–we played baseball, football, ran, etc and were exhausted–On the way home we stopped at the grocery store to buy some things for dinner–It was the middle of the summer, I was hot, tired, etc. and since he was spending the night with me, I knew there was still plenty of activities to do that evening. Next to the grocery store was a mom and pop type “dollar store” My son wanted to go in and buy some wooden popsicle sticks for some project he was working on. We went into the store and I started looking around–they had a whole shelf of “bath and beauty” products, none of them brand names, but knock-offs and foreign products. I picked up a box of Calgon Bath Beads–only it was some French Equivalent name like Calgonique–I decided to buy a box and go home and soak in the tub as a way of recovering. I took the box to the counter and the cashier ( who was a neighbor of mine) gave me a puzzled look and asked if I was buying that for a girlfriend,I said “No, its for me”,she turned red and looked embarassed…I said, “I know its sort of feminine, but I am hot and tired and I thought it would feel good” her face got even redder…I said " I dont see what the big deal is" and paid for it and went home. As I was running the water for the bath, I opened the box of Calgonique bath beads only to discover it was NOT bath beads, but some kind of French Douche.
Needless to say,I have never gone back into the store again.
I’m training double splits right now. So this morning I go to the gym and do squats and good mornings. Then I go to work. This afternoon I meet my husband at the gym and I just do arms and abs while he trains legs. Well, it’s a hot day and I’m wearing the same old pair of reasonably short shorts I worn this morning. So, this afternoon while doing standing cable pulls for abs, I have my back against one of the supports of the cable apparatus. As I bend over I can feel cold steel against my buttocks. I reach back to find that the seat of my old, worn pair of shorts has given way, revealing my thong and ass cheeks. Fortunately I am wearing a long t-shirt that covers my ass (and I have a spare pair of shorts in my bag) so you can’t see it when I stand up. However, there is no way to tell how long the rump of my shorts was compromised thus revealing my 49 year old ass. I laughed to myself thinking that the guys working out behind me while I was doing my good mornings this morning must have gotten quite a show. The shirt wasn’t that long.
Gojira, they probably walked with a bounce in their step for the rest of the day!
OK, here’s mine…
I had just joined the gym and started working out again and it was just my second time doing the leg press machine (I know, I know, I do squats now). So I do a set and think “gee, that felt really easy, I’ll up the weights.” Another set “gee, I’m in better shape than I thought” and I add more weight. During my third set as I’m focusing intently on the footplate, I realize there is NO weight on the machine, I had simply moved the plates from one storage peg to another! I quickly stopped and put some plates on the right peg - with a very red face - and hoped nobody noticed!
OK, here’s mine…
I had just joined the gym and started working out again and it was just my second time doing the leg press machine (I know, I know, I do squats now). So I do a set and think “gee, that felt really easy, I’ll up the weights.” Another set “gee, I’m in better shape than I thought” and I add more weight. During my third set as I’m focusing intently on the footplate, I realize there is NO weight on the machine, I had simply moved the plates from one storage peg to another! I quickly stopped and put some plates on the right peg - with a very red face - and hoped nobody noticed!
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Thanks Jillybop,
I swear I thought that this only happened to me.
I work out at home. About 10 years ago, I was overseeing a project that required me to be out of town for about nine weeks straight. I got a temporary membership at a Gym. I didn’t know hardly anything about machines, and I was to “Manly” to ask for help. I had put four plates on each side, and was feeling quite studly, when I realized that the plates weren’t moving with me.
I may not have know anyone at the gym, but after a couple of days, everyone knew who I was.
Ok here is mine.
Im training in the gym,working on my shoulders doing side cable raises.When im finished i just glance over to a guy in his late 30’s doing cable rows,and i hear a load bang and he goes flying backwards and does about 2 backward rolls,what happened was the cable snapped when he was in the contracted position of the lift.
I went over to the poor bastard and asked if he was alright,nearly pissing my pants laughing at him.He was fine but ive never seen him use that machine again.
I was pumping away with my legs keeping my hands on the stabilizing handles. Meanwhile the motion handles were whirring, uninhibited and unrelenting in their reciprocating back and forth motion.
I was working up quite a sweat during this particular climb and needed to wipe my brow. My towel was underneath my left hand. Rather than sacrificing speed and stability by taking my hand from the handle, I figured I could manage a quick wipe by stooping over to where the towel was and wipe my diaphoretic forehead in one swift stroke.
I made my move.
The left motion handle came backward to the rear of the apparatus…
Thus Catching me square on top of the old noggin and knocking me off the damned machine as if I was kicked by an ornry mule.
Don’t ask me how the hell I did it, It seems almost impossible and I don’t care to replicate it, but it was certainly damn goofy way to abruptly end a workout.
The old man who saw the tragety unfold from his seat on the recumbant bike said to me, “I’ll go get an attendant! Don’t move!”
I insisted that I was ok, but still had to apply ice to my new goose-egg and fill out an “accidental injury” report on my way out the door. For the next couple of weeks the attendant who oversaw the necessary documentation would say none too quietly “hey you’re not getting on the elliptical today are ya? Har har har”
About 6 years ago I was teaching summer school science for some extra money. I just thought I’d pull a little prop gag on the first day so I had a beaker with boiling liquid on a hot plate. I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and before the kids came in I pulled my hand in the shirt cuff and stuck a metal 3 finger test tube clamp that looked like a little metal claw. Then I put a Gorilla hand on from a costume, and finally put on a big asbestos glove on each hand.
When the kids came in, I used the gloves to remove the boiling beaker as they were watching. Then, I pulled off the glove to reveal the Gorilla hand. They lauged. Then I took off the Gorilla hand to show the claw. Now they were really laughing-except for one kid. I changed my angle to see why he wasn’t laughing and noticed him trying to hide his prosthetic hook.
[quote]mertdawg wrote:
About 6 years ago I was teaching summer school science for some extra money. I just thought I’d pull a little prop gag on the first day so I had a beaker with boiling liquid on a hot plate. I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and before the kids came in I pulled my hand in the shirt cuff and stuck a metal 3 finger test tube clamp that looked like a little metal claw. Then I put a Gorilla hand on from a costume, and finally put on a big asbestos glove on each hand.
When the kids came in, I used the gloves to remove the boiling beaker as they were watching. Then, I pulled off the glove to reveal the Gorilla hand. They lauged. Then I took off the Gorilla hand to show the claw. Now they were really laughing-except for one kid. I changed my angle to see why he wasn’t laughing and noticed him trying to hide his prosthetic hook.[/quote]
ouch.
Here’s mine…no one there to see it…I was driving to Greenlake in Seattle to lift KBs in the park there with some friends.
I had my one pood (37 lbs.?) on the floor of the passenger side, layin on its side. With the handle down I thought it wouldnt move much.
Got off of Int. 5 took a sharp right turn kinda quick and the KB rolled and slammed into my ankle, I was wearing sandals. Then in pain I needed to take a quick left when I did the KB rolled foward and hit the brake bringing me to a dead stop in the opposing lane.
I reached down and yanked it off the brake and got out of onconming traffics way. I cant imagine how I looked to anyone watching…It must have looked like something was attacking my legs in the car cause I was reaching down and grimacing and the car was all over the place.
When I was still in highschool, two kids (like 15 years old) were doing bench press. One was pudgy, and the other was a tiny Italian kid. The tiny italian kid loaded up the bar with like 115 lbs, and the pudgey one was spotting. Next thing I notice, the bar is on the Italian’s chest and with the pudgey kid turning red in the face trying to pull it off. Some guy just walked accross the gym and one handed it off the kid’s chest.
This happened last week:
My buddy is doing his bench workout. Warms up with 185 as his first set, then 225. He loads up 315 and calls over a spotter(I don’t like to spot him normally, you’ll see why). He gets around 4 or 5 reps, but needs helps on all of them. So obviously he does the smart thing and lowers the weight…right?
When I come back from getting a drink and go back to doing my workout, I look over and see the bar with another set of plates on it totaling 405 lbs!
Needless to say, the spotter left with a really sore back, and my friend with a severely bruised ego.
When I was still in highschool, two kids (like 15 years old) were doing bench press. One was pudgy, and the other was a tiny Italian kid. The tiny italian kid loaded up the bar with like 115 lbs, and the pudgey one was spotting. Next thing I notice, the bar is on the Italian’s chest and with the pudgey kid turning red in the face trying to pull it off. Some guy just walked accross the gym and one handed it off the kid’s chest.
This happened last week:
My buddy is doing his bench workout. Warms up with 185 as his first set, then 225. He loads up 315 and calls over a spotter(I don’t like to spot him normally, you’ll see why). He gets around 4 or 5 reps, but needs helps on all of them. So obviously he does the smart thing and lowers the weight…right?
When I come back from getting a drink and go back to doing my workout, I look over and see the bar with another set of plates on it totaling 405 lbs!
Needless to say, the spotter left with a really sore back, and my friend with a severely bruised ego.[/quote]
The bench press at any gym can make for good comedy. Saw a tall skinny guy on a bench at school. Lowers the 115 lbs., on a barbell, to his chest then lifts it up first one hand then the other…his buddy shouting encouragement the whole time.
