Dumbest Fitness Advice You've Ever Heard

Off Topic
61

[quote]Grneyes wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Okay some may recognize this others may not. Was in a log not to long ago.

[i]ok you could get 230 but first of all your grip is bad ok. change it. WHat do you weigh? You need to grab bar as tight as possible non of this pussy holding stuff. Secondly your run up to your new 1 rep max should have less trys at it. Yes a good warm up is essential but then get down to business and do singles.

I know we all like to say we did such and such when we were younger but I did press 220 at 160 at 19 years of age. But i did it from the floor with a clean and press. nevertheless you have to approach that bar with anger and tighten up your fat( tighten up your entire body, take a deep breath and hold then scream like a banchiee( no disrespect to any American Indians) and you will do it.[/i][/quote]

As a person of Irish descent I take offense that banshee is referred to as American Indian. If you’re going to use mythical creatures as examples, please get your country of origin correct.[/quote]

How do you feel about Lucky The Leprechaun?

My gf hates him because growing up she looked like him…or at least a close relative like a sister.

62

I heard only two truly dumb pieces of advice, both of them regarding creatine.

When I was looking over a tub of creatine at a store, a girl behind me commented to the guy she was with – “That stuff makes you go nuts and start killing people.”

My ex-wife also told me she had very thoughtfully Googled creatine on my behalf and proceeded to give me the following advice:
“Take that stuff if you want, but don’t come crying to me when you wind up dying from kidney cancer.”

I suppose the fatal kidney cancer is just nature’s way of limiting just how long of a killing spree the creatine user can go on.

63

[quote]anonym wrote:

[quote]Grneyes wrote:
As a person of Irish descent I take offense that banshee is referred to as American Indian. If you’re going to use mythical creatures as examples, please get your country of origin correct[/quote]

Native Americans aren’t mythical. My understanding is they simply went extinct several hundred years ago.[/quote]

64

[quote]anonym wrote:

[quote]Grneyes wrote:
As a person of Irish descent I take offense that banshee is referred to as American Indian. If you’re going to use mythical creatures as examples, please get your country of origin correct[/quote]

Native Americans aren’t mythical. My understanding is they simply went extinct several hundred years ago.[/quote]

I heard this too! Something to do with too much Custard.
I guess there was an obesity problem even way back then.

Someone else said it had to with Columbus. I think a lot of them were living there and the whole central Ohio urban scene was just too depressing. Being in a big industrial city sucks when you have to live in a teepee.

65

[quote]BobParr wrote:
I heard only two truly dumb pieces of advice, both of them regarding creatine.

When I was looking over a tub of creatine at a store, a girl behind me commented to the guy she was with – “That stuff makes you go nuts and start killing people.”

My ex-wife also told me she had very thoughtfully Googled creatine on my behalf and proceeded to give me the following advice:
“Take that stuff if you want, but don’t come crying to me when you wind up dying from kidney cancer.”

I suppose the fatal kidney cancer is just nature’s way of limiting just how long of a killing spree the creatine user can go on.[/quote]

I am honestly not sure how some of you deal with that. I spend too much time at this for my girl to complain about what I eat like that. If I had someone questioning creatine like that I am not sure I could keep the divorce from following soon after.

66

[quote]BobParr wrote:
I heard only two truly dumb pieces of advice, both of them regarding creatine.

When I was looking over a tub of creatine at a store, a girl behind me commented to the guy she was with – “That stuff makes you go nuts and start killing people.”

My ex-wife also told me she had very thoughtfully Googled creatine on my behalf and proceeded to give me the following advice:
“Take that stuff if you want, but don’t come crying to me when you wind up dying from kidney cancer.”

I suppose the fatal kidney cancer is just nature’s way of limiting just how long of a killing spree the creatine user can go on.[/quote]

The creatine stuff can be pretty funny. It’s amazing how many people believe that creatine IS a steroid. Plenty (maybe most?) people out there believe that any product with the word ‘anabolic’ in the description is, by definition, a steroid.

My mom genuinely thinks protein is a steroid.

67

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]TDub301 wrote:
The thing I hear the most that pisses me off is people saying they don’t want to get too big. The response I get pretty much 100% of the time. If only it were so easy…[/quote]

Agreed. This is honestly the only one that actually bothers me to hear…as if there is ANYONE on the planet who accidentally got HUGE.

It ALWAYS comes from some guy who has no chance in hell of ever getting really big if they wanted to.[/quote]

Please, lol this usually comes from women. True story, I have a 5’7 female client about 240 lbs. Said she felt like she was bulking up as she points to her traps :facepalm:

68

[quote]dirtbag wrote:
All that protein will screw up your liver

All that protein will make you sick

I don’t want to lift weights and turn into a she-man (said by a women trying to get a better butt by doing stairs)

Creatine and other steroids are not good for you.

[/quote]

Heard those ones too

[quote]Nards wrote:
I heard a guy at my university gym tell another guy that he did squats while standing on a bench because it worked the “cardiovascular in his knees”.[/quote]

I have a hard time believing someone said that.

Some of the ‘‘great wisdom’’ given to me;

-If you take supps and then stop you will IMMEDIATELY lose all the weight you gained from them

-‘‘You should bench wide man! Eventually your shoulder will stop paining and get used to it’’

-Creatine will ruin your kidneys

-Eggs will make you fat

-If your body is not 100% parallel to the floor when your rowing, the work will shift to your triceps

-Lifting weights will make you short

-Warming up is for sissies

-Deads = bad for your back. Squats = bad for you knees

-squatting without a pad is dangerous

-vegetable protein is better for you

-arching when you bench is ‘‘cheating’’

-‘‘you shouldn’t bother lifting weights. In the end all the muscle will turn into fat.’’

-supps will make you dick shrink

Also, weird as it is, when I say I wanna go have a drink everyone is cool with it. When I say I wanna have a protein shake everyone starts preaching about the dangers.

69

“Dietary fat is far worse than sugar…you know that, right?”

70

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]BobParr wrote:
I heard only two truly dumb pieces of advice, both of them regarding creatine.

When I was looking over a tub of creatine at a store, a girl behind me commented to the guy she was with – “That stuff makes you go nuts and start killing people.”

My ex-wife also told me she had very thoughtfully Googled creatine on my behalf and proceeded to give me the following advice:
“Take that stuff if you want, but don’t come crying to me when you wind up dying from kidney cancer.”

I suppose the fatal kidney cancer is just nature’s way of limiting just how long of a killing spree the creatine user can go on.[/quote]

The creatine stuff can be pretty funny. It’s amazing how many people believe that creatine IS a steroid. Plenty (maybe most?) people out there believe that any product with the word ‘anabolic’ in the description is, by definition, a steroid.

My mom genuinely thinks protein is a steroid.[/quote]

It’s a double fail. I don’t know if it’s worse that they 100% bought into all the media hype about the evils of steroids, or that they don’t know enough to know what is and what isn’t a steroid.

But at least people’s moms are not in a position to do any damage. I watched the documentary Bigger, Faster, Stronger and was appalled that the congressman (Henry Waxman) in charge of the committee that legislates on this stuff knew so little about it that he had to ask a staffer to explain the basic (mis)information to him. This was right in the middle of the interview, too. You would think he would have at least prepped enough to appear to sound authoritative during a filmed interview. Makes you wonder how many other subjects congressional members are completely clueless about and yet still decide to influence.

71

[quote]lumbahjack wrote:

-‘‘you shouldn’t bother lifting weights. In the end all the muscle will turn into fat.’’

[/quote]

My kid had a gymnastic coach who, while she was not overweight on top, was one of those women who have disproportionately wide hips and very big thighs.

Another parent, a young woman who was a NURSE, commented to me about this coach’s appearance: “That’s what happens to the really good former gymnasts. All the muscle they build just turns to fat when they get too old to compete.”

I guess basic physiology is not taught in nursing school.

72

[quote]BobParr wrote:

[quote]lumbahjack wrote:

-‘‘you shouldn’t bother lifting weights. In the end all the muscle will turn into fat.’’

[/quote]

My kid had a gymnastic coach who, while she was not overweight on top, was one of those women who have disproportionately wide hips and very big thighs.

Another parent, a young woman who was a NURSE, commented to me about this coach’s appearance: “That’s what happens to the really good former gymnasts. All the muscle they build just turns to fat when they get too old to compete.”

I guess basic physiology is not taught in nursing school.[/quote]

Bob I will say next time someone tells you they are a nurse ask for clarification.

Just because someone wears scrubs does not mean they are a nurse.

Sorry sore spot as someone with their Masters in Nursing.

73

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]BobParr wrote:
I heard only two truly dumb pieces of advice, both of them regarding creatine.

When I was looking over a tub of creatine at a store, a girl behind me commented to the guy she was with – “That stuff makes you go nuts and start killing people.”

My ex-wife also told me she had very thoughtfully Googled creatine on my behalf and proceeded to give me the following advice:
“Take that stuff if you want, but don’t come crying to me when you wind up dying from kidney cancer.”

I suppose the fatal kidney cancer is just nature’s way of limiting just how long of a killing spree the creatine user can go on.[/quote]

The creatine stuff can be pretty funny. It’s amazing how many people believe that creatine IS a steroid. Plenty (maybe most?) people out there believe that any product with the word ‘anabolic’ in the description is, by definition, a steroid.

My mom genuinely thinks protein is a steroid.[/quote]

This is not at all surprising given that the largely unscrupulous supplement industry happily trades upon thinly veiled suggestions that their product mimics the effects of steroids. You expect the average person to sift thru that BS?

74

[quote]BobParr wrote:
I don’t know if it’s worse that they 100% bought into all the media hype about the evils of steroids, or that they don’t know enough to know what is and what isn’t a steroid.
[/quote]

Take a step back from your background and knowledge and start reading supplement ads. Is it any wonder the average couch potato can’t tell the difference???

75

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

Bob I will say next time someone tells you they are a nurse ask for clarification.

Just because someone wears scrubs does not mean they are a nurse.

Sorry sore spot as someone with their Masters in Nursing.[/quote]

Exactly. If she were really a nurse, she wouldn’t give him the time of day unless he was a doctor. We all know nurses are on a mission to fuck and marry a doctor :slight_smile:

76

while we’re on the subject of steroids, I just thought of a good one that I’ve heard in various forms:

“steroid muscles look different”
or “you can tell if someone’s on steroids by looking at them”

things to that effect.

77

[quote]flipcollar wrote:
while we’re on the subject of steroids, I just thought of a good one that I’ve heard in various forms:

“steroid muscles look different”
or “you can tell if someone’s on steroids by looking at them”

things to that effect.[/quote]

wasn’t it (to paraphrase): “people who start using steroids from a young age look different, their muscles just look different”

78

[quote]buddaboy wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:
while we’re on the subject of steroids, I just thought of a good one that I’ve heard in various forms:

“steroid muscles look different”
or “you can tell if someone’s on steroids by looking at them”

things to that effect.[/quote]

wasn’t it (to paraphrase): “people who start using steroids from a young age look different, their muscles just look different”[/quote]

buddaboy, I would actually agree with that statement…but only as it refers to bodybuilders or those working on gaining more muscle than average.

I am sure there are many people on steroids who look less developed than many weekend warriors.

The previous statement just sounds like hater-ade.

79

[quote]Enray wrote:
I swear, GNC is a cornucopia of fitness bullshit.

I went to buy a nice overpriced jar of protein, and while the chick is ringing me up she looks at me, and says

“Make sure you don’t take too many scoop of this a day. It makes your fat turn into muscle, and your body needs fat for energy. So after it all the fat turns into muscle you’ll be tired all the time and won’t be able to workout”

O.O

Wow, please tell me I’m not the only one who experiences this shit.[/quote]

You went to GNC. Did you expect Wendler to be working the counter. You’re just as dumb as the cashier.

80

[quote]biglifter wrote:

[quote]Enray wrote:
I swear, GNC is a cornucopia of fitness bullshit.

I went to buy a nice overpriced jar of protein, and while the chick is ringing me up she looks at me, and says

“Make sure you don’t take too many scoop of this a day. It makes your fat turn into muscle, and your body needs fat for energy. So after it all the fat turns into muscle you’ll be tired all the time and won’t be able to workout”

O.O

Wow, please tell me I’m not the only one who experiences this shit.[/quote]

You went to GNC. Did you expect Wendler to be working the counter. You’re just as dumb as the cashier. [/quote]

I agree…and I used to work at a GNC. They know most people don’t know shit so they literally train the cashier to repeat buzz words and “health info”…as long as they add in the items on special or sell a Gold card.

People walk into those stores and ask questions like the cashier has an advanced degree in nutrition. They have to be able to say something back.

For what they pay…you can’t expect the cashier to really know anything unless they look built.