Dumbest Fitness Advice You've Ever Heard

Off Topic
82

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]BobParr wrote:
I heard only two truly dumb pieces of advice, both of them regarding creatine.

When I was looking over a tub of creatine at a store, a girl behind me commented to the guy she was with – “That stuff makes you go nuts and start killing people.”

My ex-wife also told me she had very thoughtfully Googled creatine on my behalf and proceeded to give me the following advice:
“Take that stuff if you want, but don’t come crying to me when you wind up dying from kidney cancer.”

I suppose the fatal kidney cancer is just nature’s way of limiting just how long of a killing spree the creatine user can go on.[/quote]

The creatine stuff can be pretty funny. It’s amazing how many people believe that creatine IS a steroid. Plenty (maybe most?) people out there believe that any product with the word ‘anabolic’ in the description is, by definition, a steroid.

My mom genuinely thinks protein is a steroid.[/quote]

Haha, yes. I’ve attempted to convince my mother that it isn’t, to no avail of course.

83

[quote]BobParr wrote:

[quote]flipcollar wrote:

[quote]BobParr wrote:
I heard only two truly dumb pieces of advice, both of them regarding creatine.

When I was looking over a tub of creatine at a store, a girl behind me commented to the guy she was with – “That stuff makes you go nuts and start killing people.”

My ex-wife also told me she had very thoughtfully Googled creatine on my behalf and proceeded to give me the following advice:
“Take that stuff if you want, but don’t come crying to me when you wind up dying from kidney cancer.”

I suppose the fatal kidney cancer is just nature’s way of limiting just how long of a killing spree the creatine user can go on.[/quote]

The creatine stuff can be pretty funny. It’s amazing how many people believe that creatine IS a steroid. Plenty (maybe most?) people out there believe that any product with the word ‘anabolic’ in the description is, by definition, a steroid.

My mom genuinely thinks protein is a steroid.[/quote]

It’s a double fail. I don’t know if it’s worse that they 100% bought into all the media hype about the evils of steroids, or that they don’t know enough to know what is and what isn’t a steroid.

But at least people’s moms are not in a position to do any damage. I watched the documentary Bigger, Faster, Stronger and was appalled that the congressman (Henry Waxman) in charge of the committee that legislates on this stuff knew so little about it that he had to ask a staffer to explain the basic (mis)information to him. This was right in the middle of the interview, too. You would think he would have at least prepped enough to appear to sound authoritative during a filmed interview. Makes you wonder how many other subjects congressional members are completely clueless about and yet still decide to influence.[/quote]

This is a direct quote from a flip calendar with stupid historical tidbits in it:

“To protest the number of unread resolutions that pass through the Texas State House every session, Representative Tom Moore Jr. introduced a bill in 1971 honouring Albert DeSalvo for his pioneering work in population control. DeSalvo, the notorious Boston Strangler, confessed to killing thirteen women in the Boston area. The bill passed unanimously.”

The wikipedia page of Tom Moore Jr. seems to confirm it as well Tom Moore Jr. - Wikipedia.

84

[quote]flipcollar wrote:
while we’re on the subject of steroids, I just thought of a good one that I’ve heard in various forms:

“steroid muscles look different”
or “you can tell if someone’s on steroids by looking at them”

things to that effect.[/quote]

I’ve had cousins of mine ask me, “But natural strength is better than steroid strength, right? Like you can lift more weight?”

No, you idiot. Strength is strength.

85

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Okay some may recognize this others may not. Was in a log not to long ago.

[i]ok you could get 230 but first of all your grip is bad ok. change it. WHat do you weigh? You need to grab bar as tight as possible non of this pussy holding stuff. Secondly your run up to your new 1 rep max should have less trys at it. Yes a good warm up is essential but then get down to business and do singles.

I know we all like to say we did such and such when we were younger but I did press 220 at 160 at 19 years of age. But i did it from the floor with a clean and press. nevertheless you have to approach that bar with anger and tighten up your fat( tighten up your entire body, take a deep breath and hold then scream like a banchiee( no disrespect to any American Indians) and you will do it.[/i][/quote]

Well done Dj, well done.

86

[quote]tom63 wrote:
They’re not always avaailble and I’m not driving thirty miles to buy protein powder. Yeah,
I’ll spend 10$ + to buy something when I can order have it delivered to my office or stop by walmart. Some of you people are retarded. It’s protein powder.

I also have access to pharmaceutical grade supplements at wholesale cost. I order online or over the phone. Where do you think these mom and pop stores get their stuff to sell? Mean old companies that are incorporated.

Again for many convenience is important. And it’s just protein powder. You live out in the sticks, some small town, rural area. You have less options. The last thing I’m going to do is drive all over creation to get something I can buy in a grocery store.

[quote]rehanb_bl wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]tom63 wrote:

They’re not always available. Walmart, gnc are some of the only options. Your advice is about as dumb as half the stuff written here. Most people here would chose such a mythical store if one was local.

[quote]theBird wrote:

[quote]Enray wrote:
I swear, GNC is a cornucopia of fitness bullshit.
[/quote]

I dont know much about GNC, we dont have them here in the outback. Sounds like a chain store?

But why do you spend your hard earned cash at such place. The joke is on you buddy.

What you should be doing is supporting your locally owned independant supplement store. Ok, so what, you have to spend an extra dollar or two, but atleast your not supporting dumbnuts. Your more likely to get some decent service and advice if required. Before I purchase anything, I always ask myself; where is this money going.

F*ck the coorperates.

tweet[/quote]
[/quote]

They exist, you have to search for them. Its the same way for hardcore gyms, every decently sized city has 2 or 3 of them.

[/quote]

It’s a stupid cop out to say it’s the only option available, unless you live in a tree in africa there is a local supp store.
[/quote]
[/quote]

Blah blah blah. Amazon.com, trueprotein, and other sites.
Much better selection and price. Click and at my front door in a few days.
Welcome to the 21st century.

87

[quote]lumbahjack wrote:

[quote]dirtbag wrote:
All that protein will screw up your liver

All that protein will make you sick

I don’t want to lift weights and turn into a she-man (said by a women trying to get a better butt by doing stairs)

Creatine and other steroids are not good for you.

[/quote]

Heard those ones too

[quote]Nards wrote:
I heard a guy at my university gym tell another guy that he did squats while standing on a bench because it worked the “cardiovascular in his knees”.[/quote]

I have a hard time believing someone said that.

[/quote]

He did.
He was a Croat who moved to Canada, but he didn’t have much of an accent so he’d been in Canada long enough to learn English.

88

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

Bob I will say next time someone tells you they are a nurse ask for clarification.

Just because someone wears scrubs does not mean they are a nurse.

Sorry sore spot as someone with their Masters in Nursing.[/quote]

Exactly. If she were really a nurse, she wouldn’t give him the time of day unless he was a doctor. We all know nurses are on a mission to fuck and marry a doctor :)[/quote]

Lol, I couldnt ever find one to marry. :frowning:

89

[quote]DixiesFinest wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Okay some may recognize this others may not. Was in a log not to long ago.

[i]ok you could get 230 but first of all your grip is bad ok. change it. WHat do you weigh? You need to grab bar as tight as possible non of this pussy holding stuff. Secondly your run up to your new 1 rep max should have less trys at it. Yes a good warm up is essential but then get down to business and do singles.

I know we all like to say we did such and such when we were younger but I did press 220 at 160 at 19 years of age. But i did it from the floor with a clean and press. nevertheless you have to approach that bar with anger and tighten up your fat( tighten up your entire body, take a deep breath and hold then scream like a banchiee( no disrespect to any American Indians) and you will do it.[/i][/quote]

Well done Dj, well done.[/quote]

Glad somebody picked this up.

90

But the height of stupid is lecturing people to search high and low for a mom and pop supplement store on a website that is in the business of supplement sales.
I pick up protein powder at local grocery stores where I shop , online, gnc kid there’s a sale. I order my other supplements from pure encapsulations .

[quote]cct wrote:

[quote]tom63 wrote:
They’re not always avaailble and I’m not driving thirty miles to buy protein powder. Yeah,
I’ll spend 10$ + to buy something when I can order have it delivered to my office or stop by walmart. Some of you people are retarded. It’s protein powder.

I also have access to pharmaceutical grade supplements at wholesale cost. I order online or over the phone. Where do you think these mom and pop stores get their stuff to sell? Mean old companies that are incorporated.

Again for many convenience is important. And it’s just protein powder. You live out in the sticks, some small town, rural area. You have less options. The last thing I’m going to do is drive all over creation to get something I can buy in a grocery store.

[quote]rehanb_bl wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]tom63 wrote:

They’re not always available. Walmart, gnc are some of the only options. Your advice is about as dumb as half the stuff written here. Most people here would chose such a mythical store if one was local.

[quote]theBird wrote:

[quote]Enray wrote:
I swear, GNC is a cornucopia of fitness bullshit.
[/quote]

I dont know much about GNC, we dont have them here in the outback. Sounds like a chain store?

But why do you spend your hard earned cash at such place. The joke is on you buddy.

What you should be doing is supporting your locally owned independant supplement store. Ok, so what, you have to spend an extra dollar or two, but atleast your not supporting dumbnuts. Your more likely to get some decent service and advice if required. Before I purchase anything, I always ask myself; where is this money going.

F*ck the coorperates.

tweet[/quote]
[/quote]

They exist, you have to search for them. Its the same way for hardcore gyms, every decently sized city has 2 or 3 of them.

[/quote]

It’s a stupid cop out to say it’s the only option available, unless you live in a tree in africa there is a local supp store.
[/quote]
[/quote]

Blah blah blah. Amazon.com, trueprotein, and other sites.
Much better selection and price. Click and at my front door in a few days.
Welcome to the 21st century.
[/quote]

91

[quote]biglifter wrote:

[quote]Enray wrote:
I swear, GNC is a cornucopia of fitness bullshit.

I went to buy a nice overpriced jar of protein, and while the chick is ringing me up she looks at me, and says

“Make sure you don’t take too many scoop of this a day. It makes your fat turn into muscle, and your body needs fat for energy. So after it all the fat turns into muscle you’ll be tired all the time and won’t be able to workout”

O.O

Wow, please tell me I’m not the only one who experiences this shit.[/quote]

You went to GNC. Did you expect Wendler to be working the counter. You’re just as dumb as the cashier. [/quote]

This is the bebefit of having a small supp shop. You get pro level knowledge.

92

[quote]tom63 wrote:
I pick up protein powder at local grocery stores where I shop , online, gnc…
[/quote]

Ok, then do that. But dont come on the net and complain about the stupidity of gnc etc.

/thread.

tweet

93

[quote]paulieserafini wrote:

these two idiots are so full of shit… i normally wouldn’t even be bothered, but somehow these idiots have amassed a huge following.

the other day i was on some pro’s video and one of the comments read something along the lines of ‘this guy is an idiot check out twinmuscleworkout for proper bodybuilding’ etc. on an IFBB pros video

i hate everything

94

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Not really fitness advice as applied in a fitness setting but…[/quote]

Got one too. I was in germany and got a bad case of food poisoning. They put me in the hospital overnight. So I wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning to find the nurse preparing to give me an injection. Why? They took my pulse which was about 50 and BP was like 102/50 and decided I was in distress. I told her I was a long distance runner (did half marathons) and that those were normal. So there I am, having an argument with her in German in the middle of the night, half dead. The doctor, it turned out, wasn’t even in the building (small local hospital) but somewhere else, so they had to call him. Eventually they made me fill out a ton of paperwork refusing treatment.

Got 'em even better the next day. They did an endoscopy (look down the throat with a camera) to make sure there wasn’t something else wrong. They can’t knock you out for that, but give you a massive dose of Valium. So they wheel me back to my room (my wife at the time vouches for the next part) and while they were trying to get organized to move me from the gurney, I cheerily looked around and did a cartwheel over my IV onto the bed, then snuggled down. The nurses fled the room in a big hurry. The wife thought it was the funniest thing she’d seen. Boy were they happy to get me out of there.

– jj

95

^awesome

96

Being in highschool I hear an abundance of stupid shit.

“Jogging will give you strong, muscular legs.”

“I hate squatting I just jog for my legs”

“If you drink a protein shake but you don’t work out it will give you a beer belly”

“When you get older all your muscle’s just gonna turn to fat.”

Ive heard the thing about jogging being a good muscle builder for the legs hundreds of times. It seems to be the biggest misconception I’ve heard. My response is usually, “Yeah look at marathon runners, their legs are huge.”

97

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
^awesome[/quote]

QFT

98

Funny GNC should come up…was there for the first time in over a year today.

During the course of small-talk, the cashier agreed with me that buying online made a lot more sense than buying from GNC, and of course added “I shouldn’t be saying this” lol. +10 interwebz for her honesty.

99

Yeah…the misunderstanding about protein powder is weird.

Next time somebody asks me if that stuff helps build big muscles and that they won’t touch it because they don’t want to get more muscles (usually of course a female) I’ll mention that they had a chicken salad earlier and did they then notice their arms bursting through their shirt???

100

[quote]Nards wrote:
Yeah…the misunderstanding about protein powder is weird.

Next time somebody asks me if that stuff helps build big muscles and that they won’t touch it because they don’t want to get more muscles (usually of course a female) I’ll mention that they had a chicken salad earlier and did they then notice their arms bursting through their shirt???[/quote]

And there are some guys that think eating a chicken salad will give them grow.