Purpose:
So I’ve been thinking recently. After spending so much time looking for what I want to do and asking people, I still haven’t found it. After being at a pool party and talking to people, I realized you can expect to react in one way but you cannot know until you truly experience it. Life is really good at doing random stuff BUT it is my job to react and grow in a way that is positive. With these thoughts, I realized why I am so passionate about my fitness and mental health.
Maybe if my brother would have got his health in order and worked to improve his crippling back pain, he would have lived to see 31 instead of going out 2 months early because of addiction. Maybe if he had found a way to improve his childhood traumas, he would have been happier. Maybe if he would have just taken care of himself, he would have been able to be here for his son. If he would have reached out to me, I would have loved to help him but I was not going to be the one to reach out just because of my age and ego.
Maybe if my uncle would have taken care of his health while he was younger, he wouldn’t have died in front of my grandma. Maybe if he would have started some some walking and went to the doctor more, he wouldn’t have had so many heart issues. Maybe if he would have died during the first time he went into heart failure 5 years ago, I would have not had this chance to realize so much fucking shit.
Now that’s a lot of “maybes” but I know being a positive influence will save at least 1 family from losing a son. It will save everyone in that group from so much goddamn pain. While I cannot fight death, I can work to improve lives. If I come from a true place of abundance and positivity, I know someone will absorb that energy and transform.
Those 2 deaths can be tied back to physical and mental health issues. There are a lot of health issues in my family. Lots of extremely out of shape people. Me making myself be in good physical shape proves to my family it is possible to “outwork genetics”. I honestly love the genetics talk. I was a fat kid. I was a kid with an unhealthy relationship with food BUT it was not my fault. It was the fault of those responsible for taking caring of me and when I got older, it was my responsibility to change it. Being in great shape shows my nephews you don’t have to be like everyone else and you aren’t handicapped by “genetics”. Eating in a disciplined manner shows everyone it can be done. This message is amplified in person. Attempting to cultivate true presence in the moment helps to defeat anxieties that plague our family.
All this to say this. I know I want to be an amazing positive influence in this subject because it’s what the world needs. We need more people making the harder choice to eat in a way that improves health and wellness rather than eating stuff that is able to survive being preserved in a pantry. We need more good knowledge and positive influences in this sphere. Influencers promoting being extremely lean year round or always angle hunting when taking pictures are the problem. Attempting to go against this and spread amazing knowledge is a lofty goal but HOLY FUCK IS IT WORTH IT. This world is already evil and cunning so putting more positivity into AND serving others will always be the best thing.
Closing remarks:
This is my stream of consciousness esque mission statement. This is one of my reasons for wanting to become the best version of myself. If I become who I want to be, people will come to me for help rather than me pushing concepts on people while having nothing to prove. While this does not give me a lot of direction into what job I want, it gives me an amazing launching pad. Focus on the now and what needs to be done.
Lastly, none of the family stuff comes out of negativity. I simply see it has a way to grow and learn rather than hate and resent.
