You keep using this as a one-size-fits-all answer.
Your daughter can have a new partner every night, so long as shes happy.
She can be a pornstar, so long as shes happy.
Can she be a stripper, so long as shes happy?
Can she be an actual prostitute, so long as shes happy?
Will you still support her decisions then?
I’m wondering where the buck stops and where reason kick in.
Serial killer.
Some of them.
I want her to be happy. Genuinely. I’m not sure what that will look like yet. Right now it’s riding a bike with streamers, taekwondo and feeling loved and supported by her parents. I’m interested to see who she becomes as she goes through her experiences in life. I don’t know how to explain this any more plainly. You’re projecting limitations on what that can mean and how to arrive at it, while dismissing people you’ve never met based on their sexual appetites. This is more of an internal you concept to wrestle with than me.
I’m actually quite convinced that i don’t want my daughter to become a literal whore, pornstar, stripper or similarly sexually damaged individual, and I’m comfortable with saying that.
I think it’s completely unhinged that you either a) dont care if she’s any of these things or b) cant say out loud that these things are not what you want for your daughter.
I don’t think theres anything else to discuss here dude. I hope none of those outcomes for your daughter - or anyone elses, and i think it quite reasonable to say that.
Why do these threads always devolve into ridiculous examples of the most extreme opposites?
I don’t want any of the kids under my influence to engage in promiscuity. Adults? Eh, not my cup of tea and I’m inclined to agree that it signals something, but whether or not that signaled thing matters is up to the people involved. I would not become involved with a man with a big history of bar or tinder hookups. Just not my jam. I find it immoderate in much the same way I find overeating or chronic drunkenness immoderate and not-my-jam. Are many of these men delights? Probably. But I would still weed them out. I’m looking for someone like me, not a project or a gamble.
I’ve now met two seemingly healthy women who were very open about disinterest in committed, exclusive relationships and who liked hooking up. They both seemed fine to me. Happy, not broken. Might they meet a guy someday and think he’s “the one”? Maybe! If so, they both seemed very nice to me and I don’t see any reason they wouldn’t settle down happily.
All of that said, I do think that high promiscuity indicates an emotional need that is not being met. Validation, mostly. Girls pretend it’s love and safety, boys pretend it’s power and competence.
That’s for sure, but @zecarlo “good ol’ days” are my we’re “going to hell in a handbasket” days.
You won’t believe this, but men wanted the woman to be their wife to have a body count that by today’s metric would be a negative 1 (-1). Let me explain, when I was in high school the talk among the boys generally was that if they wanted sex, they would look for it from the school pump. (there were a few there then.) They wouldn’t consider having sex with their girl friend. They wanted to marry a virgin. Her first sex experience would be her honeymoon.
Now, let it be said that this made little since to my morals, as I thought I should be in love with the girl before considering sex.
I think the thing you’re missing about everything he has written about raising his daughter is that he’s bringing her up in a happy, healthy, well adjusted home.
If done right (which I give a good bit of latitude) whether or not she grows up to be a stripper or any other sex worker is not a significant worry, nor is it a likely result.
Millions of people raise happy, healthy girls into normal functioning women without significant concern for the results, because the outcome is pretty predictable.
In @anna_5588 defense, The comparable x’s in f(x) of PR’s versus parenting are as far as the east is from the west. We have much control over the x’s that determine the success at reaching a new PR. But all we have, at best, is influence on the x’s that determine successful parenthood that you would be proud to have done.
exactly.
True, though certain controllable factors (reading to your kids, healthy diets, getting them in sports, no phones for a long time) go a long way towards developing a good person. But yes, certain things are harder to control in the development of youth.
The exact number never mattered much to me as long as it wasn’t too high or too low. The craziest most possessive women I’ve dated had low body counts. They go all in and tended to have a very extreme anxious attachment style. On the other end, once the number was too high, they seemed to value sex much much less than I do and I know we’re not really a good fit. As long as it is same order of magnitude as my body count, I found there to be a much healthier dynamic.
I think the answer might be different if rephrased. Like of course a parent what’s their kid to be happy, but what if your daughter came to you and said she was considering doing porn. What would you tell her before doing so? If after the fact she is happy, that’s easy to answer, since you want her to be happy. But knowing what we know on average about the mental health of female porn stars, I’d guess you’d advise her not to? It’s the expected outcome before hand, not the after outcome in which she turns out to be an exception and happy with her choice. I think that changes how I think about it at least.
Parents often guide with morality based on expected outcome. They don’t consider their child might be an outlier and turn out happy, they go with the most probable outcome.
My cousin is probably better now that he’s beat his opioid addiction. Maybe better than if he was never an addict, I’m sure there were lessons he learned. But as a parent, you’d not want him to start using opioids in the off chance he turns out to be better because of it. You’d advise him based on the expected result not to use them.
That term dates you for sure.
It’s not a worry because it’s not a likely result.
I imagine that conversation taking place with bars between the two or instead of father, it’s mom’s boyfriend.
I’d say, “If you choose to do that, choose to disgrace this whole family, then get the f— out of here and never return!”
I agree with your incredulous take on extreme examples, but have to disagree here, at least in part.
While I have no doubt some seek validation through sex, I don’t believe they define the field. Many, many people engage in sex because it feels good, and they’re capable of experiencing it sans emotion. Horny is a feeling/urge/need that exists outside of love as much as within it. This doesn’t mean they can’t emotionally engage but emotion doesn’t have to be present. They’re likely not showing up in psychology studies because they’re just out living life instead.
You’ve essentially categorized sex as a vice, and attributed a need for limitation presumably for limitations own sake as your post reads. This is a projection and a very puritanical outlook. It’s your prerogative but is not a definitive view of appropriate behavior.
You mentioned other “vices” and as a comparison continuation, I personally enjoy alcohol, and marijuana. Tons of people use drugs (including alcohol) to self-medicate for a variety of reasons. Alcoholics destroy their lives over booze. You can find brokenness in studies of substance use and abuse without looking hard. Does this mean drinking is inherently bad, or a broken thing to do?
Absolutely not. The vast majority of consumers can drink to varying extents of drunkenness and be totally fine from any objectively comparative standpoint. I love how beer tastes, and bourbon. I also love the buzzed feeling. It doesn’t control me, I could shelve it at any time and do if I’m wanting to cut weight or something, but sometimes I just want a beer for the taste. Sometimes I want more for the buzz.
Sometimes I want a blowjob 
. I am married now and she provides, but if I wasn’t, I would have no problem calling up a “friend” or “snapping” or whatever the fuck kids do these days. Blowjobs feel good.
And women are allowed to enjoy receiving too, if they want. It’s ridiculous how people are almost framing libido as a mental illness of sorts.
You are pulling all of that out of your ass. Note, you use believe not know. There have been studies done that go beyond what you have experienced or what you wish to believe. You know what promiscuity has brought poor people, particularly poor people of color? An epidemic of single motherhood with all of the bad outcomes that come with it and higher rates of STDs. But hey, at least they feel good.
Her post says nothing that you claim. You might want to remind yourself of what she does for a living and what she sees every day.