Do Men Look at Porn?

Off Topic
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[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]Makavali wrote:
Hilarious.

Orion, lack of tact aside, is giving Spock legitimate advice and the white knights come crashing through the door.

Gotta wonder why.[/quote]

Because of the lack of tact dillweed. He was being a fucking tool. I don’t care if he was trying to help or how legitimate you think his perspective is, he shouldn’t have been such a rude piece of shit about it. Can’t believe you weren’t able to figure that out on your own; you seemed like a smart guy.[/quote]

Soooooo, I did something nobody else seemed to be willing or able to do, which you kind of think might have been neccesary, but you object, because I did not do it in a way you would have done it, despite the fact that you would not have done it at all.

There is only one possible solution to this:

Become the man you think I am supposed to be.

That will be a sight to behold!

Men will want to be you and women will want to be with you.

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[quote]Makavali wrote:
Hilarious.

Orion, lack of tact aside, is giving Spock legitimate advice and the white knights come crashing through the door.

Gotta wonder why.[/quote]

I have to agree. In another thread she referred to herself as a 6.

For some reason she intent on telegraphing to everyone here that she’s a POS.

Lack of awareness perhaps or low self esteem.

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[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
Because of the lack of tact dillweed. He was being a fucking tool. I don’t care if he was trying to help or how legitimate you think his perspective is, he shouldn’t have been such a rude piece of shit about it. Can’t believe you weren’t able to figure that out on your own; you seemed like a smart guy.[/quote]

Thanks for your subjective judgement/opinion. Why you (and others) feel the need to pass that off as authoritative/factual in any way is, in fact, kind of childish. Believe it or not.

What’s unclear is whether you’re conceding or dismissing the legitimacy/intent of orion’s earlier posts.

What is clear is that all the name-calling is silly; and the result is you don’t seem like a smart guy.
[/quote]

What the hell are you talking about? No one is trying to pass off their opinion of Orion as fact. That doesn’t even make sense. I say Orion is being a tool and your first thought is “you can’t state that as a fact without first proving it via experiment!”. Is that what you mean? Are you an android or something who is unaccustomed to human confrontation? I’m not trying to prove to you that I’m smart, and I don’t care if you think it’s childish. You get mad at someone, and you insult them you son of a bitch.

P.S. And if you were so much smarter than me you would have used a comma in your last sentence instead of a semi-colon, cuz you didn’t need a semi-colon there. Boom. Grammar Nazi’d. Thanks to you the thread has devolved even further.

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[quote]RynoSmash wrote:
Hey, I know this thread isn’t about my horrible marriage or porn anymore. But I do appreciate the different views and insights.

To clear up a few things, boning is a nearly daily activity. I have received plenty of nude pics of her, as well as she received wang pics. The most recent nude of her I have, she is about 5 months pregnant.

She seems to be pretty open to everything except her husband viewing other women. For example, one of the first times that we had sex, she asked for some moderate choking. [/quote]
If I got laid every day, got nudie pix and was asked to do a little bit of light choking I don’t think I would be looking at much porn at all. To echo others, where you went wrong was the “promise”, but you know that.

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needs more pictures

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OP: can you share some pics of the wife? I really think that would help us all to better understand the situation.
srzly…

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OP: Perhaps you “should” be able to look at porn without needing to sneak around or catching grief from your wife. You own your own sexuality. It would be nice if you could occasionally watch/enjoy it together. Obviously some types of porn are more conducive to this than others. Start slow. Did this whole porn=cheating thing ever come up before you got married or is it simply a matter of her now having access to your browser history?

However, assuming your goal is not to live in a marital war zone, I don’t know how successful you will be telling her that you’re just going to watch porn and she’s just going to deal with cause you’re the man and that’s just how it is. You could give it a try though. You are free to choose your actions, just not the consequences. If she believes you are “cheating” (and your promise to stop reinforces this) expect her to treat you as such.

If you wife is pissed about something you are doing, you do not necessarily owe it to her summarily stop, but you do usually (not always) owe it to her to engage in some kind of open, constructive dialogue in search of a mutually agreeable solution or perspective. She owes you this as well. If the issue is emotionally charged enough, you may benefit from enlisting the aid of a third party (i.e. counsellor) to moderate the discussion.

We are accountable for how are actions effect the emotional health of our spouses. However this is a two way street that can’t be as simple as “I don’t like you doing that thing you like to do, so stop”.

208

Regarding the whole Spock/Orion thing:

Like most people on here, I like Spock a lot. I find her to be sweet, endearing, genuine and generally a pretty cool chick.

Also, like most people on here, I find Orion to be tactless, abrasive and unnecessarily confrontational and hurtful, even when he may have a point.

That being said, Spock has repeatedly expressed dissatisfaction with her dating life. Telling her to continue doing the same thing that has brought her those results because she’s awesome (which I suspect she is) is “nice”, but not necessarily helpful. Modifying your behaviour in hopes of producing a more desirable outcome is not the same as modifying your personality or being fake or manipulative or what have you. It is simply expanding your tool box for dealing with people and life in general. If your hammer isn’t working, maybe it’s because it’s time to pick up a saw.

Identifying yourself with your past thoughts and behaviour patterns because that’s “who you are” is a mistake. It’s limiting and self defeating. I’m not necessarily saying Spock needs “game”, I don’t know if she does or not. However, if she’s not getting what she wants acting how she’s acting, maybe it would help her to contemplate acting differently. This won’t change “who she is”.

“Who we are” is so much more than that anyway.

209

[quote]batman730 wrote:
Regarding the whole Spock/Orion thing:

Like most people on here, I like Spock a lot. I find her to be sweet, endearing, genuine and generally a pretty cool chick.

Also, like most people on here, I find Orion to be tactless, abrasive and unnecessarily confrontational and hurtful, even when he may have a point.

That being said, Spock has repeatedly expressed dissatisfaction with her dating life. Telling her to continue doing the same thing that has brought her those results because she’s awesome (which I suspect she is) is “nice”, but not necessarily helpful. Modifying your behaviour in hopes of producing a more desirable outcome is not the same as modifying your personality or being fake or manipulative or what have you. It is simply expanding your tool box for dealing with people and life in general. If your hammer isn’t working, maybe it’s because it’s time to pick up a saw.

Identifying yourself with your past thoughts and behaviour patterns because that’s “who you are” is a mistake. It’s limiting and self defeating. I’m not necessarily saying Spock needs “game”, I don’t know if she does or not. However, if she’s not getting what she wants acting how she’s acting, maybe it would help her to contemplate acting differently. This won’t change “who she is”.

“Who we are” is so much more than that anyway.[/quote]

slowclap.gif

210

[quote]batman730 wrote:
Regarding the whole Spock/Orion thing:

Like most people on here, I like Spock a lot. I find her to be sweet, endearing, genuine and generally a pretty cool chick.

Also, like most people on here, I find Orion to be tactless, abrasive and unnecessarily confrontational and hurtful, even when he may have a point.

That being said, Spock has repeatedly expressed dissatisfaction with her dating life. Telling her to continue doing the same thing that has brought her those results because she’s awesome (which I suspect she is) is “nice”, but not necessarily helpful. Modifying your behaviour in hopes of producing a more desirable outcome is not the same as modifying your personality or being fake or manipulative or what have you. It is simply expanding your tool box for dealing with people and life in general. If your hammer isn’t working, maybe it’s because it’s time to pick up a saw.

Identifying yourself with your past thoughts and behaviour patterns because that’s “who you are” is a mistake. It’s limiting and self defeating. I’m not necessarily saying Spock needs “game”, I don’t know if she does or not. However, if she’s not getting what she wants acting how she’s acting, maybe it would help her to contemplate acting differently. This won’t change “who she is”.

“Who we are” is so much more than that anyway.[/quote]

Well said. I would add that she might be open to making personal porn with OP.

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[quote]batman730 wrote:
If your hammer isn’t working, maybe it’s because it’s time to pick up a saw.

[/quote]

this is starting to get really kinky

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^^LOL!!

Well said batman!

Me and this guy from the gym half smiled at one another today. He was wearing a rolling stones t-shirt so maybe he saw me wear my rolling stones t-shirt before.
Yeah, we’ll probably be getting married and whatnot…

ALSO
My friend and I, plus her fiance and his friend, are going to go on a double date, so that is exciting/stressful.

Should I think up interesting factoids to woo him? Or should I just let him talk and nod with extreme interest?

213

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
All I have left to say is that this thread has gotten fucking ridiculous.

And high five to Spock for being an Albertan.[/quote]

:O!! Are you an Albertan too!?!

Isn’t this a wonderful province?

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[quote]csulli wrote:
I say Orion is being a tool and your first thought is “you can’t state that as a fact without first proving it via experiment!”. Is that what you mean? [/quote]

No.

How old are you?

I was merely mirroring the structure of your earlier post’s closing sentence.

If its thanks to both of us, then I’m in agreement.

[quote]batman730 wrote:
Also, like most people on here, I find Orion to be tactless, abrasive and unnecessarily confrontational and hurtful, even when he may have a point.[/quote]

No, you’re just jumping on the bandwagon now.

With a broader perspecitve, you’d know that Orion is one of the more humorous and educated posters on this entire board. But of course one must always strive to maintain an open mind, assuming actual learning is the goal.

(And no I don’t know him offline, no he doesn’t need me to defend him in the least, and no I do not understand why SO MANY PEOPLE insist on projecting typical social norms, conventions onto this internet medium)

215

[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
I say Orion is being a tool and your first thought is “you can’t state that as a fact without first proving it via experiment!”. Is that what you mean? [/quote]

No.

How old are you?

I was merely mirroring the structure of your earlier post’s closing sentence.

If its thanks to both of us, then I’m in agreement.

[quote]batman730 wrote:
Also, like most people on here, I find Orion to be tactless, abrasive and unnecessarily confrontational and hurtful, even when he may have a point.[/quote]

No, you’re just jumping on the bandwagon now.

With a broader perspecitve, you’d know that Orion is one of the more humorous and educated posters on this entire board. But of course one must always strive to maintain an open mind, assuming actual learning is the goal.

(And no I don’t know him offline, no he doesn’t need me to defend him in the least, and no I do not understand why SO MANY PEOPLE insist on projecting typical social norms, conventions onto this internet medium)

[/quote]

Not sure why you feel the need to tell me how someone does or doesn’t come across to me or when I formed that opinion or how broad my perspective or open my mind is or isn’t.

Also, just because I find someone to be tactless and abrasive doesn’t mean I don’t find them to be well educated and humourous. It doesn’t even really effect my ability to learn from them, when I feel they have something to teach.

Regarding social norms: I address people online pretty much like I do IRL, except I use way fewer words IRL. I respond to other people’s manner the same way. Words are words whether typed anonymously or spoken face to face. How other people choose to conduct themselves doesn’t concern me in the least. Just don’t really care.

Regarding “defending” Orion: based on what I’ve read from his posts I can’t imagine he’d construe anything I posted as an “attack”. It wasn’t intended as such, just an observation. I never got the impression he cared much at all whether I or anyone else found him to be abrasive.

I don’t need any extra words put tin my mouth, thanks. I’ve got enough of my own

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^^ Fair enough, good posts on this page btw

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[quote]chillain wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:
P.S. And if you were so much smarter than me you would have used a comma in your last sentence instead of a semi-colon, cuz you didn’t need a semi-colon there. Boom. Grammar Nazi’d. [/quote]

I was merely mirroring the structure of your earlier post’s closing sentence. [/quote]

Nuh uh man. I didn’t use a conjunction, so that’s why it’s a semi-colon. You used “and” so it’s against the law for you to do that. You gotta use a comma with it.

Anyway, I still don’t know why you felt like people were expressing their opinions as “facts”. It just doesn’t even make sense.

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^^ I was referring to the manner in which you (and countless others) were expressing yourselves, not the actual content.

I also used “authoritative” to describe those posts; that’s clearly the better word.

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I imagine spock smells like Captain Crunch

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[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
All I have left to say is that this thread has gotten fucking ridiculous.

And high five to Spock for being an Albertan.[/quote]

:O!! Are you an Albertan too!?!

Isn’t this a wonderful province?[/quote]

Yeah, it’s certainly not bad. You’ll probably think I’m crazy for saying this (just like everybody else around who lives in the area lol), but I think it’s too hot here. That’s about my only beef.

And don’t worry too much about wooing the guy. He’s the guy, so pressure should be on him to woo you!