Nothing better than seeing strippers when they are all clothed up knowing that you can go see them the next night naked, and get them to rub their lithe bodies all over you!
“…they were really good drugs” ranks right up there with your lint girl stories.
The rest of us will continue holding our collective breath about Team Strip Club.
Perhaps you’ll wind up owning one someday. Every man’s dream…
1 Like
@Irishman92 Well to be clear, these weren’t strippers, they were shot girls. There’s a difference, but I’m not quite sure exactly what that is.
@biker We’ll see. I think the natural impulse is to join Team Titty Temptress, but there’s more factors to consider than my irredeemable naked lady fetish.
Friday 12/15/17
BJJ 60 min
Open mat at my brown belt friend’s house. Just me and him, so another private lesson is in the books. I’m making some slick escapes and I’m learning how to unwind a few of the chokes he likes to put on me. The problem is that he’s got an answer for that too, and the next escape, and the one afterwards, etc, etc.
This is, of course, fantastic. I get to train under a fucking wizard. Today’s technique was delving into the finer points of a sliding collar choke and some sequences where we look at options right after an escape from that choke is achieved.
There’s also some good training coming up on the horizon, with one of the better pro fighters in Maine wanting to get together with my instructor for some local open mat sessions. I don’t know him, but he extended the invite to me as well.
It is an honor to get invited on the mats with the top guys in the area!
Happy weekend, everyone!
2 Likes
12/20/17
Bouncing 270 min
I am not a superstitious man, but my instincts fired early in the evening. Just like they did the last time things got violent. We were at capacity and it was only 10:00. I just knew something was going to happen. I was right.
I didn’t see what led up to the fight. I just saw two dudes go to the ground and knew it was time to go to work. I managed to get a good grip on each of them and move them both a good 10 feet, conveniently placing them both in front of the door. This wasn’t my intention per se, it is just what happened when I got my grips and pulled them in the way that I did. These were both smaller men, with one probably being 6’01" 160 and the other being much more diminutive.
This was actually pretty fucking cool to do, and I was surprised with just how far I managed to suddenly drag a pair of young whippersnappers who wanted to fight in my bar. Fortunately this put an end to their notions of continuing on the path of violence. I had both of them out the door in less than 30 seconds from when they went to the ground. #bouncerpride
One of the guys was very cool about it. I got the story from a few different people and told him to go home for the night but let him know that he is welcome back anytime.
The other guy was a total asshole, making a huge scene in the parking lot. The neighbors called the cops. Of course they did. He left with a flurry of insults, making sure I understood that I’m tremendously fortunate that he was getting held back and dragged towards his car by his companions. He’s banned for life. I’m not a big facebook fan, but it is fan-fucking-tastick for bar security. Print the asshole’s picture off and add him to the BANNED FOR LIFE list.
Some other asshole materialized and wanted to fight me too, but I’m not really sure why. I warned this guy earlier about acting like a dick, but I’m not really sure if he even had any connection to the fight that I just resolved. The only thing that was clear was that he didn’t like my warning earlier and he was totally ready to kick my ass, but by some stroke of rare luck his friends were able to hold the beast back and guide him to their minivan, thus departing from the premises. Permanently banned. Bars don’t need that and neither do I. How do these animals form the ideas that drive them to such behavior?
Four cruisers showed up about 5 minutes after all of the aforementioned assholes departed, and I had the pleasure of informing them that I was able to manage the situation, and thank them for their assistance. Shake hands, wish a Merry Christmas and that’s the end of that situation.
I sometimes question the wisdom of being a dive bar bouncer who works by himself, but tonight was fucking fun as shit. I didn’t use a whole lot of jiu jitsu, except for perhaps picking a good point to grip their bodies and moving with some fluidity and efficiency as I shifted those two men from point A to the door. They probably weighed just a bit more than I did if you put them together, so I was able to use brute force to rag-doll them to the spot where I wanted them to be. Gotta love physics. Who needs good jiu jitsu when you can just move the people to the door and encourage them to leave with your whole body?
You also gotta love getting a bunch of shots bought for you right before closing, once all of the assholes are gone and it is just friends and good people.
@biker I’m leaving soon to spend some time in fairer weather, so I’m not going to make a decision on joining Team Gentleman’s Club for at least a few weeks. You and the other lecherous perverts will just have to continue reading my log to uncover the lurid details of future bouncing shifts.
6 Likes
I think I’d like to be you for awhile in my next life. Great story.
That’s the kindest compliment I’ve been offered in my entire 2 years participating in the forum.
Merry Christmas and best wishes for a Happy New Year @twojarslave.
Jeff
Merry Christmas. Hope you’re enjoying Florida.
@biker Thank you for the kind wishes, and Merry Christmas to you and all of yours as well.
@bigjeff68 I appreciate all of the degenerates who follow my log, especially since there hasn’t been any weight lifted besides human bodies for quite some time. Merry Christmas to you and all of yours as well!
1 Like
Sunday 1/14/18
BJJ 120 min
I’m back from my trip south, back from the flu, back from a fucked-up knee and starting a new job as a project manager in one week. Time to train.
I went to open mat at my brown-belt friend’s house. Drilling for the day was some stuff with open guard. We worked on breaking down opponent’s posture from one side while keeping a leg in the hip, being mindful of a free leg with which to kick your opponent in the face (or get kicked with), and some basic guard-passing drills. We also did some basic hip-out drills to replace guard when you’re fighting a goon who just throws your legs aside.
We also rolled. A lot. I’m a bit rusty, but continue to make some decent escapes and managed to pass my instructor’s guard twice. We had three female students in attendance, and I kept my pressure to a minimum with those rolls. I’d like to say it was exciting to have my head in between the legs of some attractive ladies, but I was giving them a chance to work triangle chokes on the class goon and I’m not one of those guys who gets any sort of sexual charge from getting the blood supply to my brain cut off. I’m glad to provide the opportunity for these fine women to train on a big strong goon.
It felt great to get back on the mats and it felt great to have my body feeling great again. Getting older sure is a bag of fun!
I’m sad to say that I can no longer commit to Wednesday night bouncing at my beloved neighborhood bar, but I might end up picking up and hour or two every once in a while at the beginning of the night to help make it work for the other bouncer. I might pick up a Friday or Saturday every once in a while too, but I’m no longer committing to any shifts whatsoever.
I also received an interesting offer to bounce on Saturdays, but it is from another area bar that has been getting a LOT of fights. The pay they are talking about is really pretty good, but I’m not too keen on handling fights that often involve out-of-state gangbangers who’ve come to my little corner of Maine to sell drugs. I think they’re looking for someone to be a Dalton and Roadhouse the place, but what they really need is a security TEAM, not a big strong guy with a little jiu jitsu and a good track record of resolving fights.
I’m honored that they sought me out for this job, but I’ve got no interest in getting shot, stabbed or having my head caved in with a crowbar because some little maggot felt disrespected by a bouncer doing his job. If we lived in a world where those things didn’t happen I’d probably relish the chance to test myself regularly, but this bar has a MUCH different crowd than the place I’ve always worked.
Joining Team Strip Club is also out for the time being, as this new project management job is going to involve a decent commute in the opposite direction, not to mention keeping me pretty busy in general. It also pays way, way better than any bouncing gig, so I’ll probably stick to filling in at my little neighborhood bar when I’m both in the mood for the work and able to fit it in to my schedule.
I’m looking forward to lots of training!
3 Likes
No one wants to read about you getting stabbed.
@biker I’m not so sure you’re right about that, but getting stabbed hasn’t made its way on to my bucket list and I don’t see that changing. I’ll stick to my own turf!
Monday 1/15/18
BJJ 120 min
Back to my normal school for class. It felt great to be back and my instructor really seemed thrilled to see me.
A few small changes since my last class, and I like them. Instead of running or doing 10 minutes of goofy ab exercises, we’re just warming up with fundamental jiu jitsu movements this month (after 15 minutes of stretching and ab work). Armbar from guard to triangle to omaplata. Over and over.
Drilling for the day was three sweeps from guard. First up was the scissor sweep. Left hand grips the same-side elbow (or wrist), right hand grips the same-side collar. Post into the hip with your left foot, make space to slide your right shin across their chest. From here you can post up on your elbow and rock them back to get them off-balance and put their weight on your shin, then kick them to the left while using your left foot to push their leg to the right, making the namesake scissor motion. We covered a few variations where you can push their knee out with your left foot and also hook your right let under their thigh if they are posting their left leg.
Next up was the flower sweep. Left hand grips the collar, post on their hip with left foot to make space, then reach your right hand under the back of their knee. From here you’re trying to get all of their weight on to your right hamstring, then use both legs to sort of kick them up and across, ending up in mount. I struggled with this a bit and more practice is definitely needed.
Finally we did an omaplata sweep. The set-up is basically like an omaplata, but you’re scooping your right arm under their leg and working yourself parallel to them. Then you sort of flatten them out and roll them over. I didn’t absorb the details of this one quite so well, but it felt much better than the flower sweep did.
Rolling was fantastic. First up was a new student who had trained for some unspecified amount of time in the past down in Texas. He definitely knew a thing or two and he was a big strong dude of about 240 and 45 years old, if I had to guess. I almost got him with an ankle pick and he seemed surprised with how easy I was able to pull him. I think he’s used to being the big strong guy! He pulled guard right after that but I passed it easily, took side control and started gift wrapping him. He tapped to the pressure I had on his gift-wrapped arm. No shame in that for old shoulders. I gave him mount next and let him work a little bit before rolling him and getting him in a cross-collar choke. We started up again and I took side control quickly, then landed an Americana.
I love fresh meat, especially when they’re good sports!
Next up was our senior purple belt. I started in his guard which I passed pretty easily with some tricks I learned from my brown belt friend. I mostly tried to hold position on him and did a pretty good job of keeping side control, almost getting him in a figure-4 armlock. He eventually escaped and ended up tapping me with a choke of some kind. We were a draw for the rest of the round and the high point for me was escaping his omaplata with a forward roll and quickly retaking side control. I don’t think he was expecting that, and I was complimented on it.
I rolled with a female student next and let her go to work on me. I mostly tried to make her work and work she did, eventually taking my back and working a good RNC. I asked if she was ready for pressure and she said yes, so I did my escape and she toughed that right out until I got out of the choke and re-took side control. I’ve had guys tap to that back escape pressure before and I complimented her on gritting it out, and she seemed to take a healthy measure of pride in that. She should. The round ended with a draw where we just traded positions and worked escapes, which I think is a good style of training with women who are that much smaller than me, unless they want me to bring the smash, of course. This is only my second time rolling with her so I want to make sure she’s comfortable with me as a training partner before I start using more of my attributes.
I started a roll with my brown-belt friend, who will be training with us at this school every once in a while. He clocked me in the mouth while working takedowns and I started gushing blood so we decided to go clean that up.
That was it for me! What a fantastic night of training and my body is still feeling great. It is hard to overstate the mental importance of this feeling right now.
2 Likes
Wednesday 1/17/18
Bouncing 270 min
My last shift for the forseeable future was a frustrating night of dealing with dumb fucks. It started out well but the bartender on-duty has a real penchant for over-serving, leaving me to deal with a series of idiots for last three hours. I can only be in one place at a time, so I basically played a game of whack-a-mole with mostly harmless dumb fucks who should have been cut off two drinks ago by the bartender.
There was one minor altercation but I resolved it quickly and got the Main Asshole out the door in under a minute. I encouraged him to call a cab, then watched as he backed his brand new Ford Raptor into the Secondary Asshole’s brand new Dodge Ram 3/4 ton. I got to hear how badass they both were, and how they were going to do macho manly things that involve kicking serious ass in the future.
The truth of the matter is that they were both in their late 40’s, they were both drunk and they were both massive pussies who just ran their mouths while I broke the faux-fight up and got them off the property. They were both dumb-fucks who are old enough to know better but still start petty bar fights and drive drunk. I’m going to recommend that they are both banned for life. The bartender didn’t like that idea but she doesn’t seem to like the idea of managing the bad-behaving clientele in general.
It’s the other bouncer’s problem now. I’m going to focus on real life problems, jiu jitsu problems and problems that I get paid about 4 times as much to handle and don’t involve drunk people.
Can’t wait to train tomorrow!
1 Like
I’m surprised this happens so often, are you in a rough neighborhood?
I live in “the big city” and in the past year or so I’ve only seen 2 altercations that could’ve resulted in a fight. I don’t go out every night but I do pretty often and usually to the same handful of places.
I live in a middle-class neighborhood, the bar is in a working-class neighborhood, and the other end of town is definitely as hood as it gets in Maine.
Altercations have been happening a lot lately, but we’ve also gone really long stretches where nothing like that has happened at all. With most of the known troublemakers banned, it mostly boils down to a roll of the dice as to who walks through that door and what’s going to happen. The Main Asshole from last night was not a regular and nobody I spoke with had ever seen him before.
Keep in mind that these events are mostly sound and fury. I’ve only been in one fight where a person was in real danger, and that was about two years ago. I’ve had a small handful of people legitimately try to hurt me, but none were remotely successful in this. These little bar scuffles all fall into the category of social violence, male and female alike. These are people who want to appear dangerous, but aren’t.
It is a form of animal signalling, not unlike this harmless lizard that mimics the behavior of the legitimately dangerous beetle that shoots formic acid out of its backside.
3 Likes
Hi!
Your log is very interesting, I like all those boucings stories:P With the BJJ have you completely remove the weight training?
For me it gave me a big advantage in judo competition, it help my lack of technique!
And do you really think the BJJ give you an edge in bouncing situation? Isn’t mostly on the ground submission?
@Patlafauche Thanks for the kind words and I’m glad you enjoy reading my log!
For the last six or seven months, yes. I need to resume some form of strength training though, and I should definitely renew my efforts to continue shedding fat. For my first six months of BJJ I was incredibly bruised and sore on a near-constant basis. I just didn’t have it in me to do much else. I’m both tougher (don’t bruise so easily) and better at avoiding the bad maulings now, and BJJ is more or less like a cardio/conditioning workout for me at this point. I suppose my excuses for not lifting have run dry!
Absolutely. I was quite strong at the time of my first BJJ class, and it has proved to be a major advantage for me ever since. At the time my best bench was an easy 335, my best strict press was 215, best squat of 500 and best deadlift was an easy 615. In terms of my ability to transfer that strength on to a resisting opponent, I’m even a bit stronger than when I began (obviously most of that is just skill). I’m not sure how much barbell strength I’ve lost, but I doubt it is very much. I’m a lifetime natural lifter and I haven’t really lost much size and I don’t feel like I’ve lost much strength either. I suppose I’ll need to test that out. I don’t see myself getting a whole lot stronger anytime soon, but I don’t really need to either.
Absolutely, more on that in a bit.
Yes and no. Most of the complexity involves ground grappling, but much of our training is done on the feet. I don’t train for the sport of BJJ, I train old-school Gracie Jiu Jitsu, which is a system of self-defense that has its roots in the Judo teachings of Kano. We train takedowns, distance management, footwork, and defense against strikes both on our feet and on the ground. We even train some standing attacks, like an arm-drag to street choke on the feet, or a Russian tie or a guillotine choke. People training to compete in the sport of BJJ do not always train these elements, as they don’t always have a place in competition.
Back to this. Yes yes and yes. The last guy who really wanted to fight simply charged at me. I used basic white-belt BJJ. Hands up, elbows in, close the distance first. If he swung at me it didn’t register, I just clinched him right away. Then I established underhooks and pinned him to the wall. I owned him at that point, and chose to disengage after his buddies swarmed the both of us. I could have put him on the ground even with his buddies around us, but I chose not to. That could have gone poorly for me, and disengaging was the right choice to keep myself safe.
In broader terms, violent encounters have just slowed down for me so much. Almost like bullet time in The Matrix. I don’t think my heart rate even went up last night during the confrontation. This is mostly due to the hard-sparring I’ve done since day 1. You just get used to scrapping, and I’ve yet to encounter a bar denizen who can bring more discomfort than I experience on the mat during any given training session. Sure, there’s always a chance I’ll get knocked out, but I’d say those odds are generally quite low.
I never had problems bouncing before I took BJJ, but I’m much more confident and much more capable in terms of recognizing the situation, understanding my options and taking action to resolve these little fights quickly and without hurting anyone involved. I process these things so much quicker now, as opposed to barely processing them at all before and just being big, strong and ready to get in the middle of a fight. I also stay calm, and keeping a calm face and a strong firm voice seems to keep things from ratcheting up and people generally do what I ask them to do.
I’m going back into bouncing retirement now, but who knows, I might pick up and hour or two here or maybe cover a Saturday if I’m up to it. Give me another year of solid BJJ training and I’ll probably be itching to try it out on some bar assholes.
4 Likes
Thursday 1/18/18
BJJ 105 min
Today we continued with guard work for January. Just like Monday, we warmed up with fundamental movements from the guard. Armbar to triangle to omoplata. I tweaked my left hip a little on this but it didn’t inhibit me for the rest of class besides a little pain. Hopefully it goes away after a good night’s sleep.
Drilling today was various open-guard situations. We started with some basic passing strategies. Goon-throw the legs was one. A more elegant pass involved getting grips on the pants and using your arms to clear the legs and then moving right to knee-on-belly.
Next we worked some sweeps from the same position. The one that worked best for me was to pull them in, get my left leg under their thigh as a hook, get my right hand on their ankle and push hard on the hips with my right leg. Down they go and I just use the momentum to pull myself up, taking mount as a best case scenario. Refinement could produce improved outcomes for sure.
After that we did the old balance your partner in the air over your body with your feet in the hips. The idea here was to get used to the weight and get used to balancing a person.
We built on that with two takedowns. First we tucked their head down and tossed them over our bodies, using the momentum to end right back up in mount. Next we did a sweep of sorts, pulling their arm across your body while you lowered the same-side hip down. Tumble they shall, and an armbar is right there when they do.
Rolling went well. It always does, provided you can find the lesson in defeat. First up was my good friend the four-stripe brown belt, who seems to be training at my school quite frequently now. I’m proud to say he only tapped me once in 5 minutes with an armbar, while the rest of the time was spent defending his attacks and defending his takedowns. This is progress when you consider that he tapped me out in about 10 seconds the first dozen or so times I rolled with him.
Next up was my black belt instructor. I also endured 5 minutes of his attacks while only tapping once. I managed to sweep him from guard and gain Russian mount, which is also major progress against a guy who has trained for over a decade.
I.
LOVE.
THIS.
SHIT.
5 Likes
Really good to hear 2jar, keep up the good work mate.
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@Irishman92 Thank you for the support mate, it really means a lot. You might be interested to know that I “stopped by work” tonight to “debrief the other bouncer” about my thoughts on last night and my thoughts on the state of the bar in general.
This of course involved sucking down two White Russians, and I also got to meet a motherfucking 600 pound raw bench presser. I’ve had a lot of guys tell me how much they say they can bench, and I believed this dude 100%. He was about 5’7" and jacked as fuck. He also knew a lot of the guys I’ve lifted with and we were both pretty surprised that we’ve never crossed paths before. The other bouncer knew him well and he’s right in line to take over my job as the Wednesday night doorman. This is one of the reasons I love working at this bar. You really get to meet a lot of fantastic humans.
He doesn’t do jiu jitsu, but I think a huge motherfucker like him will manage just fine as a solo dive bar bouncer. Now I just need to crack some kind of plan to get him on the mats and grapple with one of the strongest sonofabitches in Maine!
3 Likes
Friday 1/19/18
BJJ 60 min
Open mat at my brown belt friend’s house. The senior purple belt from my school also showed. We just took turns rolling for an hour. The high point for me was a 10 minute rumble with the purple belt where I made a good escape, took mount and held it for about 5 minutes on the guy. I almost had him in a series of submissions. I could have had him. I SHOULD HAVE HAD HIM. But he gritted it out, made the escape and got me in an armbar shortly after.
I don’t think I’ve ever been so tired after a roll. Fantastic!
Happy weekend everyone!
1 Like