I want to find out if anybody went through the same things i did when i was working out ( i have stopped for now but may get back into it soon). When i was working out I would get very depressed.
i saw other women at the gym who looked about 50 times better than i did, and then i would just stop and go home and just talk down to myself when i got there. when i wasn’t working out i was already depressed and self loathing but when i started working out it just got worse, so i stopped, but now i am in the exact same spot. i want to try and lose weight again, even though i have already thrown most of my 2009 goals out the window.
did any one else go through anything like this? if so how did you get through it and keep going?
I find constantly cruising around on these forums keeps me motivated. Watching other people try to achieve similar goals to mine really helps in keeping me stuck to my plan.
maybe you could write down your workouts before you go and make sure you wear a cap with a visor and use an ipod turned way up, before you start, to get focused.
I’ve gotten that feeling before, you see someone who looks wayyy more in shape than you or lifting much heavier. You just have to ignore them and focus on yourself, you aren’t in the gym for them. Make short term goals you can accomplish and it will help you see your progress and feel better about working out.
Why not do things outside the gym until you “feel” ready for the gym? For me when I see someone pushing more weight looking better etc. I strive to try and beat them trying to one up them. However, this is coming from a male. But you never know that same women may have been in your shoes before hand no matter how good she looks to you.
Here something that I hope will help “You have to start somewhere and break that wall to get to the next”
I’ve been in your shoes before trying to improve my self image but being on T-Nation I know my goals are possible.
Don’t go to the gym to look better, start focusing on performing better at the gym. Lift heavy and get strong, focus on that as a goal. The body will follow.
There is always going to be someone better looking than you, richer than you, happier than you etc. Give yourself a kick in the ass and get moving, you are wasting your time being depressed over vanities, while you could be spending it achieving a higher level of performance.
Don’t want to sound mean, but reality is what it is.
a little tip, chase a goal, put in mind any goal that you know you can accomplish, like lose 2 pounds in one week, lift 5 pounds more, etc, do anything to acomplish that goal, and when you finally get it you won’t feel bad anymore. (that’s why i said a goal you know you can acomplish)
I can emphathize with you…but I get that notion out of my head WITH THE QUICKNESS and I know there are guys (in your case, girls) out there that would kill for my (your) body…Also, you gotta know that everybody is in their own place and level of fitness. Just focus on yourself in the gym and don’t get bagged down by ppl who you think “looks better”
If anything, try to use that as motivation to push yourself to achieve a body like the girls who you think looks better than you…better yet, surpass them
Keep on trucking!
Everybody has the right to start out as a beginner. It’s not a crime to start off a long way from your goal. If you make progress every workout (more weight/more reps/ more speed or distance if you’re doing cardio) then you’re winning, regardless of how anybody else looks.
Diana’s right – focus on performance, not looks. Yeah, ultimately you may be working out with the goal of improving your appearance, but when you go to the gym, it’s not productive to look in the mirror – just think about the work.
Remember, it’s your gym as much as anybody else’s. You have a right to be there. (When I got started & was the only girl in the free weight room, I was half afraid somebody would shoo me away – I just had to keep telling myself, “It’s my gym too.” There was a weird couple of months when I felt so much like an intruder that I’d frantically give up the squat rack, mid-set, to anyone within a fifty-foot radius, because they “deserved” it more than I did. Don’t do this.)
you’re the one that has to live in your body. you have to spend all of your time there. you say you hate it. so quit fucking whining.
most people in your gym really don’t give a shit whether your there or not.
oh, they’re looking at you? I look at other people when I’m in the gym as well, to see if they’re doing something cool (in my gym, usually not) or funny (winner) or if i should go offer some help before they injure themselves.
no one else is going to do this for you. and it won’t happen overnight. it’s a decision that each and every one of us makes all day, every day, because it’s important to us. forget about your goals for 2009. fuckem. and for next week. be better-- stronger/faster/healthier/smarter today than you were yesterday. repeat. you will screw up, and make mistakes. get up and move forward.
all of us were beginners. all of us have a lift that lags. an no matter how strong you are, how you eat, or how you look, there will be someone who is better than you are. if you hold yourself to someone elses standards, you will ALWAYS fail.
“He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.” Friedrich Nietzsche
[quote]CBear84 wrote:
you’re the one that has to live in your body. you have to spend all of your time there. you say you hate it. so quit fucking whining.
most people in your gym really don’t give a shit whether your there or not.
oh, they’re looking at you? I look at other people when I’m in the gym as well, to see if they’re doing something cool (in my gym, usually not) or funny (winner) or if i should go offer some help before they injure themselves.
no one else is going to do this for you. and it won’t happen overnight. it’s a decision that each and every one of us makes all day, every day, because it’s important to us. forget about your goals for 2009. fuckem. and for next week. be better-- stronger/faster/healthier/smarter today than you were yesterday. repeat. you will screw up, and make mistakes. get up and move forward.
all of us were beginners. all of us have a lift that lags. an no matter how strong you are, how you eat, or how you look, there will be someone who is better than you are. if you hold yourself to someone elses standards, you will ALWAYS fail.
“He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.” Friedrich Nietzsche
[/quote]
[quote]constanceh wrote:
…and then i would just stop and go home and just talk down to myself when i got there. when i wasn’t working out i was already depressed and self loathing but when i started working out it just got worse…
[/quote]
Sounds like your problem goes much deeper than just being a little self-conscious in the gym. If you are already depressed, it’s hard to do just about anything. Perhaps you should speak with a therapist or councillor.
[quote]Court wrote:
CBear84 wrote:
you’re the one that has to live in your body. you have to spend all of your time there. you say you hate it. so quit fucking whining.
most people in your gym really don’t give a shit whether your there or not.
oh, they’re looking at you? I look at other people when I’m in the gym as well, to see if they’re doing something cool (in my gym, usually not) or funny (winner) or if i should go offer some help before they injure themselves.
no one else is going to do this for you. and it won’t happen overnight. it’s a decision that each and every one of us makes all day, every day, because it’s important to us. forget about your goals for 2009. fuckem. and for next week. be better-- stronger/faster/healthier/smarter today than you were yesterday. repeat. you will screw up, and make mistakes. get up and move forward.
all of us were beginners. all of us have a lift that lags. an no matter how strong you are, how you eat, or how you look, there will be someone who is better than you are. if you hold yourself to someone elses standards, you will ALWAYS fail.
“He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.” Friedrich Nietzsche
I have a total girl-crush on you (no lesbo).[/quote]
This is sooooo close to a dream of mine…now all I have to do is get you two together, add booze and cross my fingers…
[quote]polo77j wrote: Court wrote:
CBear84 wrote:
you’re the one that has to live in your body. you have to spend all of your time there. you say you hate it. so quit fucking whining.
most people in your gym really don’t give a shit whether your there or not.
oh, they’re looking at you? I look at other people when I’m in the gym as well, to see if they’re doing something cool (in my gym, usually not) or funny (winner) or if i should go offer some help before they injure themselves.
no one else is going to do this for you. and it won’t happen overnight. it’s a decision that each and every one of us makes all day, every day, because it’s important to us. forget about your goals for 2009. fuckem. and for next week. be better-- stronger/faster/healthier/smarter today than you were yesterday. repeat. you will screw up, and make mistakes. get up and move forward.
all of us were beginners. all of us have a lift that lags. an no matter how strong you are, how you eat, or how you look, there will be someone who is better than you are. if you hold yourself to someone elses standards, you will ALWAYS fail.
“He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.” Friedrich Nietzsche
I have a total girl-crush on you (no lesbo).
This is sooooo close to a dream of mine…now all I have to do is get you two together, add booze and cross my fingers…[/quote]
Just like Baker’s Secret.
I have a crush on anyone that quotes Nietzche. Add that to a weight training forum and it’s almost like a dirty dream.
You should probably talk to someone about this. It seems that it is not the gym that does this to you, it just compounds something that is much deeper.
In terms of seeing people who are “better” than you, I always remind myself of this quote:
“The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself”
[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
polo77j wrote: Court wrote:
CBear84 wrote:
you’re the one that has to live in your body. you have to spend all of your time there. you say you hate it. so quit fucking whining.
most people in your gym really don’t give a shit whether your there or not.
oh, they’re looking at you? I look at other people when I’m in the gym as well, to see if they’re doing something cool (in my gym, usually not) or funny (winner) or if i should go offer some help before they injure themselves.
no one else is going to do this for you. and it won’t happen overnight. it’s a decision that each and every one of us makes all day, every day, because it’s important to us. forget about your goals for 2009. fuckem. and for next week. be better-- stronger/faster/healthier/smarter today than you were yesterday. repeat. you will screw up, and make mistakes. get up and move forward.
all of us were beginners. all of us have a lift that lags. an no matter how strong you are, how you eat, or how you look, there will be someone who is better than you are. if you hold yourself to someone elses standards, you will ALWAYS fail.
“He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.” Friedrich Nietzsche
I have a total girl-crush on you (no lesbo).
This is sooooo close to a dream of mine…now all I have to do is get you two together, add booze and cross my fingers…
Just like Baker’s Secret.
I have a crush on anyone that quotes Nietzche. Add that to a weight training forum and it’s almost like a dirty dream.[/quote]
Beauty and Brains is a dangerous combination … But I think she was quoting Eddie Murphy quoting Nietzche
[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
constanceh wrote:
…and then i would just stop and go home and just talk down to myself when i got there. when i wasn’t working out i was already depressed and self loathing but when i started working out it just got worse…
Sounds like your problem goes much deeper than just being a little self-conscious in the gym. If you are already depressed, it’s hard to do just about anything. Perhaps you should speak with a therapist or councillor.[/quote]
i have to agree. i don’t think i need to add anything to this because yo momma prettymuch hit the nail on the head. right now it sounds like you need to talk with someone more than you need to go to the gym.
[quote]polo77j wrote: Court wrote:
CBear84 wrote:
you’re the one that has to live in your body. you have to spend all of your time there. you say you hate it. so quit fucking whining.
most people in your gym really don’t give a shit whether your there or not.
oh, they’re looking at you? I look at other people when I’m in the gym as well, to see if they’re doing something cool (in my gym, usually not) or funny (winner) or if i should go offer some help before they injure themselves.
no one else is going to do this for you. and it won’t happen overnight. it’s a decision that each and every one of us makes all day, every day, because it’s important to us. forget about your goals for 2009. fuckem. and for next week. be better-- stronger/faster/healthier/smarter today than you were yesterday. repeat. you will screw up, and make mistakes. get up and move forward.
all of us were beginners. all of us have a lift that lags. an no matter how strong you are, how you eat, or how you look, there will be someone who is better than you are. if you hold yourself to someone elses standards, you will ALWAYS fail.
“He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying.” Friedrich Nietzsche
I have a total girl-crush on you (no lesbo).
This is sooooo close to a dream of mine…now all I have to do is get you two together, add booze and cross my fingers…[/quote]
who needs booze? I want to remember it and I hate headaches.
