Depressed, Need Advice

Off Topic
101

ThatGuy3, that’s very nice. OP, read that post over and over.

I also suffered from depression for years, visited different therapists which suggested medication, but hoped that I could recover without them. I also suffered from anxiety (always triggered by people and my father takes meds for that) that probably spawned from death threats when I was a little kid from someone with enough resources to get rid of me and leave no trace.

As ThatGuy3 said, you need to find what is really causing your depression. Be very honest with yourself, ask what you want from life. What kind of job, what kind of friends, what kind of occupations (hobbies) and what kind of girlfriend.

Find YOUR way. Do things YOU enjoy, not what other people tell you to do. You have read HoustonGuy’s posts in this thread. That’s exactly what you have to avoid, other people telling you to do stuff that you may not enjoy at all.

It’s really not easy to get out of the pit. Those negative thoughts flood your mind, but it has a positive side. If when you are doing something those negative thoughts go away or don’t affect you, it means that you really enjoy doing that thing, so pour more energy into it.

I was used to do things the “normal” way (according to society) and that doesn’t make me happy. When I moved away from home, from family, friends, etc. I discovered freedom…and that I could do whatever I wanted, what I really wanted. I still have some after-effects from all those years of not being happy, but I have embraced a very positive attitude, with lots of honesty towards myself, etc.

102

So forgive my ignorance because I am too lazy to read this entire thread, but I wanted to chime in anyway!!

I have had debilitating anxiety for almost my entire life. I mean, ever since I was a little girl I used to get “tummy aches” because I was too scared to leave my mommy and go to school. It got worse as I got older and morphed into OCD, and OCD morphed into misery and depression. It was a horribly vicious cycle. Sometimes not SO bad, but this past year was pretty awful.

I mean I just couldn’t breathe. I was having panic attacks every day, sometimes twice a day. Then I would be mentally and emotionally exhausted and I couldn’t function. Just some weird case of space cadet all afternoon. Nothing I thought was rational, nothing I did made sense because I was just so damned sleepy and out of it.

RANDOM DAY: Went to the book store with my kid so he could play with the train set and I started reading a book called “from panic to power”
Wow. Changed my whole fucking life.
Literally.
I bought it and followed every single step and did everything the author told me and it was just so eye opening.

Every day that goes by I see more and more little positive changes in myself. I can barely even recognize myself anymore. I don’t even like the same things, the same music, the same guys…
I also dropped weight pretty easily, probably from the lack of excessive cortisol, so that also helped boost my mood. I DUNNO MAN.
Probably not a helpful post at all, but I think I just wanted to tell someone HA-HA.

103

[quote]Spock81 wrote:
So forgive my ignorance because I am too lazy to read this entire thread, but I wanted to chime in anyway!!

I have had debilitating anxiety for almost my entire life. I mean, ever since I was a little girl I used to get “tummy aches” because I was too scared to leave my mommy and go to school. It got worse as I got older and morphed into OCD, and OCD morphed into misery and depression. It was a horribly vicious cycle. Sometimes not SO bad, but this past year was pretty awful.

I mean I just couldn’t breathe. I was having panic attacks every day, sometimes twice a day. Then I would be mentally and emotionally exhausted and I couldn’t function. Just some weird case of space cadet all afternoon. Nothing I thought was rational, nothing I did made sense because I was just so damned sleepy and out of it.

RANDOM DAY: Went to the book store with my kid so he could play with the train set and I started reading a book called “from panic to power”
Wow. Changed my whole fucking life.
Literally.
I bought it and followed every single step and did everything the author told me and it was just so eye opening.

Every day that goes by I see more and more little positive changes in myself. I can barely even recognize myself anymore. I don’t even like the same things, the same music, the same guys…
I also dropped weight pretty easily, probably from the lack of excessive cortisol, so that also helped boost my mood. I DUNNO MAN.
Probably not a helpful post at all, but I think I just wanted to tell someone HA-HA. [/quote]

I know where you’re coming from with the “tummy aches.” Every single time I would try and sleep at my cousins house when I was between 6-10 years old I would get separation anxiety from being away from my mom. I didn’t eat lunch at school my entire year of kindergarten because I was too scared. In first grade all I ate was soup. If I got separated from my mom or dad at the store I would freak the fuck out.

That type of anxiety makes any relationship shitty. Either im not interested at all or it’s overly obsessive. I control how I let that on, but in my head it sucks. It’s great for seeing who your attracted to because I freeze up around them, and get gut feelings over petty things, but it’s not very fun.

I always just had anticipation anxiety until I had an anxiety attack at a concert over the summer. It was very weird because I was drunk, but I haven’t had quite the same clarity since then. Not entirely sure why, but now its just everyday random anxiety.

I dwell on things more than I should, but the idea of my kids inheriting this type of anxiety because of me is definitely displeasing.

I don’t usually post because I just creep around, but I do remember seeing you’re picture Spock. You’re pretty cute, no need for anxiety. Good to hear you’re doing better though.

104

Hopefully its the same Spock lol oh well

105

[quote]ThatGuy3 wrote:
Hopefully its the same Spock lol oh well[/quote]

haha, yep, there was a pic or two of me floating 'round these boards a while back!

Yeah, my anticipatory anxiety was the worst, then my guilt induced anxiety and social anxiety would be in close second. I would feel guilty about EVERYTHING. Something as simple as not painting my nails or allowing myself to wear my favorite bra would make me feel horribly guitly. Then small heart palpitations would start and it would blow up into something huge and I’d feel like I was actually losing my mind.
I hated myself because I thought I was actually crazy and I would treat myself like SHIT.
I WAS SO oblivious for so long, AHH!!

It’s always a good thing to talk about though, and it’s good to know there are other people in the world who have the same problems.
BUT I truly believe it IS possible to alter your own brain chemistry without any meds or anything like that.
The one thing every person has complete and utter control over is their own thoughts.
You CAN under react, you can choose how things affect you. I always assumed things were ‘supposed’ to bother me and it was not up to me.

/ok done babbling, ha-ha.

106

[quote]Spock81 wrote:

[quote]ThatGuy3 wrote:
Hopefully its the same Spock lol oh well[/quote]

haha, yep, there was a pic or two of me floating 'round these boards a while back!

Yeah, my anticipatory anxiety was the worst, then my guilt induced anxiety and social anxiety would be in close second. I would feel guilty about EVERYTHING. Something as simple as not painting my nails or allowing myself to wear my favorite bra would make me feel horribly guitly. Then small heart palpitations would start and it would blow up into something huge and I’d feel like I was actually losing my mind.
I hated myself because I thought I was actually crazy and I would treat myself like SHIT.
I WAS SO oblivious for so long, AHH!!

It’s always a good thing to talk about though, and it’s good to know there are other people in the world who have the same problems.
BUT I truly believe it IS possible to alter your own brain chemistry without any meds or anything like that.
The one thing every person has complete and utter control over is their own thoughts.
You CAN under react, you can choose how things affect you. I always assumed things were ‘supposed’ to bother me and it was not up to me.

/ok done babbling, ha-ha. [/quote]

I agree it’s possible to change your brain chemistry. And I feel ya on guilt induced anxiety, it sucks too.