Deb,
My wife had a stalker when I first started dating her. Supposedly some big dude who everyone said was a crazy mofo. He graduated in her class and everyone was telling me to watch out cause this kid was crazy and looking for me or whatever. He was some sort of a wannabe rapper and wrote a song about her, the typical bullshit how she ruined his life and she is such a whore and how he is going to kill her bullshit. We didn’t call the cops. I simply know some people he knows and they were the ones telling me to watch out. I responded with comments like “whats taking him so long, he knows where I am.” I mean when push comes to shove, you have to be willing to hurt someone who wants to hurt you.
I would not go to the police at this point but I would go to HR. The police do not prevent crimes, the investigate them after the fact. You and your ability and willingness to perpetrate violence against another human being is all that you can count on to keep yourself safe. Something as simple as carrying mace or a knife can dramatically increase your survival chances if he does try to attack you. Get a gun if you can, Get a knife, get spray and make sure you are willing to use them. If you have time and or energy, training courses in the use of said implements are really effective.
If you want to just scare the absolute shit out of the guy, buy a katana, meet him in the parking lot, take it out of your car and unsheath it. Tell him if he wants his balls cut off and stuffed in his mouth and then decapitated after that, to keep fucking with you. Guns don’t scare people nearly as much as a sword does. I second getting a brother, father, cousin, male friend etc… to go “talk” to him. He has to believe that if he keeps this course of action up, he will und up buried in a shallow grave, or at the bottom of a lake, or sold as a meatpie in chinatown. If you plan on taking it to him outside of the law, you have to be believeable and you might actually have to follow through with some violence, or someone on your behalf might have to.
I personally hate stalkers. This other dude never actively stalked her once I started dating her, but I had to hear about it, and I had to worry about it. At the time she worked at a gas station and closed often, with one other girl at 11:00 at night. I didn’t like that and would routinely come to the store to get something and hang out till she was safely driving down the road. I even had some nightmares about it. I have never woken up with such bloodlust in my entire life. I mean seriously it infuriates me to no end. People actively trying to ruin another persons life is shit I just cannot stand. I can undertsand why people mug other people, why passion crimes happen, why people break into houses and steal shit, possibly kill someone who got in the way. I can understand most crime. Stalking is just twisted fucks deriving pleasure out of making someone else’s life a miserable hell and I want to terminate these types of people.
Sorry for the rant, but like I said, this has hit close to home for me. And remember, nobody stalks a lunatic with a bloodlust. If you dig deep enough you can find the part of you that wants to make this guy suffer and you can call upon it when you need to. I would have access to that part of you in case you need it.
V