Dealing with a Nut-job at Work

Off Topic
1

(I posted this on a another forum and it turned into a flamefest about PC crap and sexual harassment. Please don’t do that! lol!)

So I’ve been dealing with this guy from my work has been bugging me for over a year now. Everytime I think he’s done and going to stay away he reappears after about 3 or so months.

It started with weird e-mails at work, then he was following me to work in the morning and then following me home, then weird messages on my work voice mail. So after telling him to leave me alone didn’t work I stuck my boss on him. But he kept following me around and leaving voicemails (‘calling just to hear my voice’-ack!) And someone told HR (not me and against my wishes). And now he’s going to be fired if he bugs me again.

But after 3 months of silence, over xmas, the guy starts sending me weird, unsettling (delusional!) e-mails to my personal gmail account which I have NO idea how he got a hold of because only a handful people have it. I’ve talked to most of them and they don’t know how he got it. I’m really bothered now because it looks like he has gone to some lengths to figure out my e-mail. Which I don’t know what. HR has told me I MUST tell them about ANY unwanted contact. But he will be fired for certain if I do. I think he should be fired but I’m a bit worried about the fallout of this. I head back to work tomorrow and now I’m getting a little stressed about it.

I’m not really afraid of the guy but then again he seems pretty looney. So maybe I should be. I’m tempted to just contact his wife. Or verbally humiliate him in front of his co-workers. But I think he wants any kind of attention from me and I shouldn’t give it to him. I haven’t so much as made eye contact with him since I first told him to cut it out over a year ago. But that doesn’t mean anything because all I ever did was make small talk with him ONCE at the coffee station while I was waiting for it to brew. I guess I have to do what would best make him go away and not what I’m tempted to do because he’s pissing me off.

So, do I go into HR first thing tomorrow morning? Do I just tell my boss? (he might get himself into trouble if I do that) or do I do something else or nothing at all?

I think I have to tell HR but I suppose I’m just nervous and don’t want to make things worse. Him getting fired will be pretty serious. His wife just had a baby and this will probably fuck him up for getting another job since our industry requires a clean background. I know this is not my problem but he might make it my problem!

Any cops or anyone with experience with nut jobs like this?

2

[quote]debraD wrote:
(I posted this on a another forum and it turned into a flamefest about PC crap and sexual harassment. Please don’t do that! lol!)

So I’ve been dealing with this guy from my work has been bugging me for over a year now. Everytime I think he’s done and going to stay away he reappears after about 3 or so months.

It started with weird e-mails at work, then he was following me to work in the morning and then following me home, then weird messages on my work voice mail. So after telling him to leave me alone didn’t work I stuck my boss on him. But he kept following me around and leaving voicemails (‘calling just to hear my voice’-ack!) And someone told HR (not me and against my wishes). And now he’s going to be fired if he bugs me again.

But after 3 months of silence, over xmas, the guy starts sending me weird, unsettling (delusional!) e-mails to my personal gmail account which I have NO idea how he got a hold of because only a handful people have it. I’ve talked to most of them and they don’t know how he got it. I’m really bothered now because it looks like he has gone to some lengths to figure out my e-mail. Which I don’t know what. HR has told me I MUST tell them about ANY unwanted contact. But he will be fired for certain if I do. I think he should be fired but I’m a bit worried about the fallout of this. I head back to work tomorrow and now I’m getting a little stressed about it.

I’m not really afraid of the guy but then again he seems pretty looney. So maybe I should be. I’m tempted to just contact his wife. Or verbally humiliate him in front of his co-workers. But I think he wants any kind of attention from me and I shouldn’t give it to him. I haven’t so much as made eye contact with him since I first told him to cut it out over a year ago. But that doesn’t mean anything because all I ever did was make small talk with him ONCE at the coffee station while I was waiting for it to brew. I guess I have to do what would best make him go away and not what I’m tempted to do because he’s pissing me off.

So, do I go into HR first thing tomorrow morning? Do I just tell my boss? (he might get himself into trouble if I do that) or do I do something else or nothing at all?

I think I have to tell HR but I suppose I’m just nervous and don’t want to make things worse. Him getting fired will be pretty serious. His wife just had a baby and this will probably fuck him up for getting another job since our industry requires a clean background. I know this is not my problem but he might make it my problem!

Any cops or anyone with experience with nut jobs like this?
[/quote]

Whatever you do, I suggest you get a pepper spray, a taser, a knife, a gun, and practice at a gun range. Better safe than sorry.

3

Personally, I would report his ass to HR and then go to the police. You’ve warned him more than once.

I’d print copies of the e-mails, record the phone calls he’s made, and just stack up more evidence against him. I understand you don’t want to hurt his family, but he’s fucked up more than once. 3 strikes and your ass is receiving a restraining order.

4

[quote]WolBarret wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:
(I posted this on a another forum and it turned into a flamefest about PC crap and sexual harassment. Please don’t do that! lol!)

So I’ve been dealing with this guy from my work has been bugging me for over a year now. Everytime I think he’s done and going to stay away he reappears after about 3 or so months.

It started with weird e-mails at work, then he was following me to work in the morning and then following me home, then weird messages on my work voice mail. So after telling him to leave me alone didn’t work I stuck my boss on him. But he kept following me around and leaving voicemails (‘calling just to hear my voice’-ack!) And someone told HR (not me and against my wishes). And now he’s going to be fired if he bugs me again.

But after 3 months of silence, over xmas, the guy starts sending me weird, unsettling (delusional!) e-mails to my personal gmail account which I have NO idea how he got a hold of because only a handful people have it. I’ve talked to most of them and they don’t know how he got it. I’m really bothered now because it looks like he has gone to some lengths to figure out my e-mail. Which I don’t know what. HR has told me I MUST tell them about ANY unwanted contact. But he will be fired for certain if I do. I think he should be fired but I’m a bit worried about the fallout of this. I head back to work tomorrow and now I’m getting a little stressed about it.

I’m not really afraid of the guy but then again he seems pretty looney. So maybe I should be. I’m tempted to just contact his wife. Or verbally humiliate him in front of his co-workers. But I think he wants any kind of attention from me and I shouldn’t give it to him. I haven’t so much as made eye contact with him since I first told him to cut it out over a year ago. But that doesn’t mean anything because all I ever did was make small talk with him ONCE at the coffee station while I was waiting for it to brew. I guess I have to do what would best make him go away and not what I’m tempted to do because he’s pissing me off.

So, do I go into HR first thing tomorrow morning? Do I just tell my boss? (he might get himself into trouble if I do that) or do I do something else or nothing at all?

I think I have to tell HR but I suppose I’m just nervous and don’t want to make things worse. Him getting fired will be pretty serious. His wife just had a baby and this will probably fuck him up for getting another job since our industry requires a clean background. I know this is not my problem but he might make it my problem!

Any cops or anyone with experience with nut jobs like this?
[/quote]

Whatever you do, I suggest you get a pepper spray, a taser, a knife, a gun, and practice at a gun range. Better safe than sorry.[/quote]

haha of course this’ll turn into a gun control debate here :stuck_out_tongue:

Wol, I asked the mods to delete this so don’t be surprised if it disappears.

5

[quote]WolBarret wrote:
Personally, I would report his ass to HR and then go to the police. You’ve warned him more than once.

I’d print copies of the e-mails, record the phone calls he’s made, and just stack up more evidence against him. I understand you don’t want to hurt his family, but he’s fucked up more than once. 3 strikes and your ass is receiving a restraining order.[/quote]

Oh I agree he has it coming. But I want to make to protect myself against his looney tendencies. HR has shown me their primary concern is litigation against the corp for not acting so I can’t trust them to consider my well-being primarily.

6

Restraining order eh? My friend suggested that but I thought it was excessive.

7

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[quote]debraD wrote:
I asked the mods to delete this so don’t be surprised if it disappears.[/quote]

I take it, you uh, took care of the situation?

8

I suggest you start harassing him by flashing him at work while letting a co-worker take pictures of it for further approval on T-Nation.

Seriously, I would suggest collecting evidence and reporting him, as well as, getting a restraining order. I’d suggest you get a body guard, but HolyMac cannot go AWOL and JP has a wife, so you are stuck with getting your own protection. Never underestimate a crazy person, especially if they are ugly, they have nothing to live for.

9

Oh…well. Since this thread is gonna be delete.

VIVA LA PANCAKES!!!

10

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:
I asked the mods to delete this so don’t be surprised if it disappears.[/quote]

I take it, you uh, took care of the situation?[/quote]

lol. I told them I changed my mind and to leave it so maybe it’ll stay now. :slight_smile:

11

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
I suggest you start harassing him by flashing him at work while letting a co-worker take pictures of it for further approval on T-Nation.

Seriously, I would suggest collecting evidence and reporting him, as well as, getting a restraining order. I’d suggest you get a body guard, but HolyMac cannot go AWOL and JP has a wife, so you are stuck with getting your own protection. Never underestimate a crazy person, especially if they are ugly, they have nothing to live for. [/quote]

I’ve kept every e-mail and voice mail he every sent me and I’ve had a sniffer on his workstation for months making sure he’s not accessing my facebook page (now removed) or following me online. I haven’t paid attention to the logs for awhile because he seemed to get the idea but now I’m going to have to.

12

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:
I asked the mods to delete this so don’t be surprised if it disappears.[/quote]

I take it, you uh, took care of the situation?[/quote]

lol. I told them I changed my mind and to leave it so maybe it’ll stay now. :slight_smile:
[/quote]

Women…

:stuck_out_tongue:

13

tasers are cool!

viva la raza…I mean waffles!

14

This is interesting. This is tough, because on one hand this guy is creepy (and a potential danger to your wellbeing) and on the other, you mess up his wife and child if you do anything. I have no practical advice, just wishing you good luck in the matters!

15

Shoot him in the tootles!

16

Yikes. Reading about this sort of thing on police websites is not helping me out when I need to get to sleep. Thanks for the pancakes and comments :slight_smile:

17

Have you tried hitting him?

18

This guy’s behavior is pretty far outside of the realm of normality.

The last thing I would do is make it personal (more, anyways) by publicly humiliating him or going to his wife. You can brush this off as just another creep, but you really have no idea who this guy is or who he stuffs into barrels.

If you are truly afraid of the fallout of getting him fired, take the above advice and go to the cops. You can bypass HR if you’re worried that firing him will lead him to lash out on you.

Don’t try to rationalize this. Do something and get this guy out of your life.

19

Definitely report this to HR. YOU are not ruining anything for him, he ruined it for himself.

20

slit his fucking throat.