This situation makes me glad that I don’t have a sister, because I would break this fucker’s legs. Hi Deb.
[quote]MaximusB wrote:
This situation makes me glad that I don’t have a sister, because I would break this fucker’s legs. Hi Deb.[/quote]
A wise man once told me, “There are few problems that 4 Italians in a Buick can’t fix.”
I think the rest can be solved with obscene amounts of explosive material.
[quote]Borolax wrote:
[quote]Oleena wrote:
[quote]Borolax wrote:
There was a really good horror film made a few years back that sounds eerily like your story.
P2.
Don’t be alone at the office ever. And don’t confront him in an isolated area, confront him privately but in public, so if things do go wrong everyone will be nearby. It’s almost like the universe wants you to go to the police…your boss and hr rep are on vaca. Also, I think its better to overreact than to under-react. [/quote]
I completely disagree with this. If you followed this advice, it would show that you’re afraid of him (which he probably already suspects that you are) and that would make it more likely that he would harm you if you did something he didn’t approve of.
The first rule of walking in a dangerous area is to keep your head up, be aware, look intimidating, and don’t speed up. People who look ready to fight actually have to less often.[/quote]
Well I’m just throwing out ideas. Ideally they wouldn’t have to interact at all. I think theres a difference between showing fear and thinking cautiously. I think it’s logical that if your alone with the guy it’s most likely more dangerous than if you’re in the vicinity of people who can intervene if necessary. Why would you walk into a dangerous area in the first place, you’d want to avoid them. Also, she isnt some meathead wanting to pick a fight…I agree with appearing confident and not showing fear but it’s almost irrelevant.
[/quote]
I think the ideal way of playing this would be to address him at work, where no one can hear you, but people can see you.
These guys are generally the same- they like chasing. If you address them all of the time to their face and are hostile, they’ll start avoiding you. I’m not saying that you have to act like a meathead picking a fight, but keep your head up, look them in the eye, and make it clear that you’re not taking shit from them. Running away, avoiding them, having other people talk to them, fuels the chase and makes it more fun. Being addressed with a “No. You need to stop acting like a fool.” every time he turns around is not as fun. Right now he has a fantasy built up in his head and it can continue because there is very little if any real life contact. If the real life contact happens a lot and is unpleasant, his fantasy is going to become less realistic to him.
I haven’t read all of the posts, but this may have not been mentioned:
Have you checked your computer for a key-logger? It’s a little device you can buy that plugs into part of another cord going into your cpu (so it just looks like part of the cord). The general idea is that they record your keystrokes and see what you type in several times (like email addresses, passwords, etc.) and log the results. All this guy would have to do is plug it in, and then unplug it later once you’ve been typing.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/security/c49f/?cpg=froogle
I’d check for one if I were you. Since you said he is a database admin, he’s probably computer savvy.
And almost everyone else seems to have given decent advice that I would agree with.
[quote]Oleena wrote:
These guys are generally the same- they like chasing. If you address them all of the time to their face and are hostile, they’ll start avoiding you. I’m not saying that you have to act like a meathead picking a fight, but keep your head up, look them in the eye, and make it clear that you’re not taking shit from them. Running away, avoiding them, having other people talk to them, fuels the chase and makes it more fun. Being addressed with a “No. You need to stop acting like a fool.” every time he turns around is not as fun. Right now he has a fantasy built up in his head and it can continue because there is very little if any real life contact. If the real life contact happens a lot and is unpleasant, his fantasy is going to become less realistic to him.
[/quote]
Deb bullying him would be hilarious. And excellent.
The point of having people talk to him is to make him feel ‘uncomfortable’. The point of interaction with witnesses is to enforce social controls.
The devil is in the details. I would not assume he is so harmless as to be intimidated by Deb
This thead has gone on long enough. It’s time for action. We’ve said our piece
[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
Vealchop, come on. Get a grip, you’re completely too lax about this situation. I bet you’d be giving different advice if your wife/mother/daughter was in Deb’s situation. [/quote]
If it was my wife or daughter I would specifically tell her NOT to go to HR or the police. I tend to be a DIY’er. Wait, I’m not married and I don’t have any kids. And my mother’s retired…Ok, but I do get the point. That’s not fair, it’s always different when it’s personal.
[quote]TylerPK4L wrote:
I haven’t read all of the posts, but this may have not been mentioned:
Have you checked your computer for a key-logger? It’s a little device you can buy that plugs into part of another cord going into your cpu (so it just looks like part of the cord). The general idea is that they record your keystrokes and see what you type in several times (like email addresses, passwords, etc.) and log the results. All this guy would have to do is plug it in, and then unplug it later once you’ve been typing.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/security/c49f/?cpg=froogle
I’d check for one if I were you. Since you said he is a database admin, he’s probably computer savvy.
And almost everyone else seems to have given decent advice that I would agree with.[/quote]
BUMP! Good post.
borrringgg, deb wanna hook up, btw whats your email addy/home addy? lol
[quote]VealChop wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
It’s a funny thing about reading something. I just had tore-read and compare the original post with your interpretation of it.
It makes me wonder if you have ever been subject to reprimand or firing for similar acts.
[/quote]
Yes, it is a funny thing about reading something. Some people comprehend what they’re reading, and then there’s you. [/quote]
Ah hahahha. You didn’t answer though. So that would be 6 or 7 times, huh?
Just admit it, you’re the stalker, aren’t you?
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
[quote]VealChop wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
It’s a funny thing about reading something. I just had tore-read and compare the original post with your interpretation of it.
It makes me wonder if you have ever been subject to reprimand or firing for similar acts.
[/quote]
Yes, it is a funny thing about reading something. Some people comprehend what they’re reading, and then there’s you. [/quote]
Ah hahahha. You didn’t answer though. So that would be 6 or 7 times, huh?
Just admit it, you’re the stalker, aren’t you?
[/quote]
Dude, I’m over you, if anybody’s stalking anybody, it’s you stalking me. I’m just trying to help this hot piece of ass deal with this most delicate situation.
Ok, maybe once, but she was asking for it, I swear! 
introduce this guy to one of your friends so that he stalks her instead IMO
[quote]VealChop wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
[quote]VealChop wrote:
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
It’s a funny thing about reading something. I just had tore-read and compare the original post with your interpretation of it.
It makes me wonder if you have ever been subject to reprimand or firing for similar acts.
[/quote]
Yes, it is a funny thing about reading something. Some people comprehend what they’re reading, and then there’s you. [/quote]
Ah hahahha. You didn’t answer though. So that would be 6 or 7 times, huh?
Just admit it, you’re the stalker, aren’t you?
[/quote]
Dude, I’m over you, if anybody’s stalking anybody, it’s you stalking me. I’m just trying to help this hot piece of ass deal with this most delicate situation.
Ok, maybe once, but she was asking for it, I swear! [/quote]
Oh, come on man, just ignore me. It’s not a big deal or anything to get uptight about. I just want to follow you around, call you every so often and keep an eye on your place while you’re sleeping.
You should thank me for my concern and return my affections, not reject them.
Wait a minute, I see what you’re doing here, and I’m not falling for it. I’m going to the police in the morning, you just bought yourself a restraining order mister!
Lure him into a bear trap and leave him for the wolves.
Debra, what has your boyfriend said about all of this? I’m surprised he has not scared him off yet.
Hi Debra,
Sorry you’re having to deal with this. Whatever happens, please don’t start second guessing yourself. There’s NO WAY to predict or control how an unstable person will react ANYTHING you might do.
The best you can do is to make sure you have as much support and eyes looking out for you as possible, especially from people in an official capacity like your HR department, your boss, and (possibly) law enforcement, should that need arise.
As for his wife and child, there’s a distinct possibility that his wife would rather know SOONER rather than LATER that her husband is a basket-case, possibly dangerous. Any official documentation that will be available to her might help her later on, if she decides to take action for her safety and the safety of her child.
Thinking of you today. - VV
Yeah! Let’s get DYFS on this guy too! You know, castration isn’t a bad bet as well, people like this should not be allowed to procreate. He should die alone in a cave.
[quote]ViziVix wrote:
Hi Debra,
Sorry you’re having to deal with this. Whatever happens, please don’t start second guessing yourself. There’s NO WAY to predict or control how an unstable person will react ANYTHING you might do.
The best you can do is to make sure you have as much support and eyes looking out for you as possible, especially from people in an official capacity like your HR department, your boss, and (possibly) law enforcement, should that need arise.
As for his wife and child, there’s a distinct possibility that his wife would rather know SOONER rather than LATER that her husband is a basket-case, possibly dangerous. Any official documentation that will be available to her might help her later on, if she decides to take action for her safety and the safety of her child.
Thinking of you today. - VV[/quote]
neelydan thinks there must be a name for the weirdo responses a thread like this gets
[quote]ViziVix wrote:
Hi Debra,
Sorry you’re having to deal with this. Whatever happens, please don’t start second guessing yourself. There’s NO WAY to predict or control how an unstable person will react ANYTHING you might do.
The best you can do is to make sure you have as much support and eyes looking out for you as possible, especially from people in an official capacity like your HR department, your boss, and (possibly) law enforcement, should that need arise.
As for his wife and child, there’s a distinct possibility that his wife would rather know SOONER rather than LATER that her husband is a basket-case, possibly dangerous. Any official documentation that will be available to her might help her later on, if she decides to take action for her safety and the safety of her child.
Thinking of you today. - VV[/quote]
the stalker has found T-Nation.
Sorry, what’s weird about it?
A lot of the responses read something like . . . “if YOU do THIS, then HE’LL do THAT.” If a person is unstable, then their responses to anything will be wildly unpredictable.
Whatever this person’s problem is, Debra did NOT CAUSE it; she can’t CONTROL it. She can only do what she must, and feels comfortable with doing, to protect herself.