@ OP/Debra: Is this guy brown/desi/fob by any chance? Usually the retards who do this belong to that ethnicity (at least in my exp). Cos then I can tell you how to deal with his case for good 
[quote]Shoebolt wrote:
@ OP/Debra: Is this guy brown/desi/fob by any chance? Usually the retards who do this belong to that ethnicity (at least in my exp). Cos then I can tell you how to deal with his case for good :)[/quote]
Careful, don’t say Brown otherwise Counting Beans gets his panties in a wad.
[quote]sluicy wrote:
[quote]FlameofOsiris wrote:
More seriously, I’d say that you should confront him, as few others have said, and let him know that you really mean business this time, and that he has to stop messing around. Most of you are just fear-mongering, sadly. Relating him to Ted Bundy and other serial killers? Come on. Get a fucking clue. The stats just aren’t there. I would take precautions, but I wouldn’t exactly worry about it. I realize that it’s easy for me to say because I’m not close to the situation, but it also gives me a clear perspective. I was jumped and robbed on 2 separate occasions, and after each time, I was really scared of walking home from the train (I have to walk through Brooklyn). I wasn’t afraid at like 3AM, but from like 9PM-2AM, I definitely was. I was afraid of everyone I saw. This, of course, was before I started working out. Take precautions, but don’t worry about him killing or hurting you. He won’t. [/quote]
How does this help?
You are an idiot. How do you know what he will or won’t do?[/quote]
Ummm… I’m saying that he won’t do anything because the majority of people, even the weird ones, wouldn’t. Should I tell her to be terrified? I said that precautions should be taken, but that she shouldn’t lose any sleep over it. I guess you think she should live in fear until he’s on death row. Of course what he’s doing is very odd, but what else is she supposed to do? I merely related situations that I’ve been in to let her know that it’s not uncommon to be afraid of things that probably won’t happen, but that it’s important to control your fear, because it’s usually a bit irrational. I don’t understand what your issue is with my post.
[quote]SirenSong61 wrote:
[quote]FlameofOsiris wrote:
More seriously, I’d say that you should confront him, as few others have said, and let him know that you really mean business this time, and that he has to stop messing around. Most of you are just fear-mongering, sadly. Relating him to Ted Bundy and other serial killers? Come on. Get a fucking clue. The stats just aren’t there. I would take precautions, but I wouldn’t exactly worry about it. I realize that it’s easy for me to say because I’m not close to the situation, but it also gives me a clear perspective. I was jumped and robbed on 2 separate occasions, and after each time, I was really scared of walking home from the train (I have to walk through Brooklyn). I wasn’t afraid at like 3AM, but from like 9PM-2AM, I definitely was. I was afraid of everyone I saw. This, of course, was before I started working out. Take precautions, but don’t worry about him killing or hurting you. He won’t. [/quote]
Everyone who knew him said Ted Bundy was a “nice guy” and Deb said her stalker appears to be nice when, in fact, he is not. Clue enough for you?[/quote]
Yes, but so what? That’s like saying that we should all be afraid of all of the nice people we meet, because they could possibly be like Ted Bundy. Why do you all want her to be extremely afraid? She seems very logical and smart, and I think she’s dealing with the situation very well.
It might be too late but the penis trick works wonders in situations like this.
Hear me out.
- Buy a whizzinator (it is one of those drug test passing kits that has a water bag and mimics a penis).
- Tell a male friend about your plan.
- You and your male friend follow stalker guy into the restroom.
- Male friend goes into the stall to overhear your transaction (protect you).
- Go to the urinal next to him.
- Use the whizzinator and make sure that it hits the water and makes that splashing sound.
- Make small talk with him while you do it.
- Buy your male friend a gift card for helping you out/keeping his mouth shut.
He won’t stalk you if he thinks you have a penis.
[quote]FlameofOsiris wrote:
More seriously, I’d say that you should confront him, as few others have said, and let him know that you really mean business this time, and that he has to stop messing around.[/quote]Did you read her first post?
She did this, and he didn’t stop.
Then her boss did this, and he still didn’t stop.
Then HR did this (letting him know his job was at stake and him with a new baby), and he still didn’t stop.
Why is it that you feel that’s not enough, and she should again warn him?
Why hasn’t he had enough warnings to expect him to accept responsibility for his behavior?
You have read how he followed her to/from work, and was warned his job (and new baby’s future?) is at stake and still didn’t quit and sent her “…weird, unsettling (delusional!) e-mails…”, right?
Just what is your experience with men who act like that, that you can decree what this guy will/won’t do?
This is the fallacious argument False Choice. There is a sensible middle ground – justifiable concern.
I can’t speak for sluicy but my issue with your post (and Mr. Jackass’) is that you’re underplaying the situation. Your telling her to not be afraid is good advice – fear is injurious to the spirit. Much of what you said is fine. However, you veered into the area of bad advice with your quotes “I’m saying that he won’t do anything because the majority of people, even the weird ones, wouldn’t” and “…don’t worry about him killing or hurting you. He won’t.” Unless you have a crystal ball you’re just pulling that out of your ass. No one knows what he will/won’t do, and minimizing things isn’t helpful. I’m assuming your intent is to be reassuring, but this is a time for candor and honesty. She’s a big girl and I think she can handle it 
[quote]MaximusB wrote:
I am not exactly known for being politically correct, so if your fragile sensitivities are offended, gimme just a moment to gather myself [sarcasm]. You seem to be new here on TN, so in case you haven’t noticed, we speak our mind here. There is no sugar coating here, if it bothers you, bring a Kotex when you log on.
[/quote]
I guess my comment about your mother falling down the stairs and landing on her face wasn’t evidence enough that I am not overly concerned about being politically correct or sugar coating either. May she break her hip on the way down too. I’m also not sure what being new to TN has to do with anything. New, old, young, veteran, makes no difference, I recognize bad advice when I see it, which is what most of you are dealing out. I also recognize illiteracy…
[quote]Squiggles wrote:
You know, I don’t understand why a couple of you (especially VealChop) seem so adamantly against her doing anything.
[/quote]
I will say it again. I only want to advise against Deb OVERREACTING, which I think if she followed most people’s advice on here is exactly what she’d be doing, and would make the situation worse. I think making comparisons between this guy and Ted Bundy, one of the most infamous serial killers on the planet, is completely irresponsible, and will only serve to scare OP into doing something stupid and unecessary.
At this point, I don’t really care what Deb does. I now selfishly hope she follows some of the idiotic advice on here, and makes so much unecessary trouble for herself, that she wishes she could come back to this day, and actually do nothing.
[quote]Nick Danger wrote:
Where does she say it’s a company distribution list, jackass? Maybe it is, maybe not, but you’re making shit up to again intentionally misrepresent and underplay.
[/quote]
The woman originally had no idea on earth how the hell this guy got her email, and then later said that there might be some explanation, because of a distribution list that “we’re on”. I assume it’s a company distribution list, because that makes sense, since they work at the same company. But even if I’m wrong, doesn’t make a fucking difference. The point is, that the explanation for “how” is probably not as earth-shattering as she first thought, i.e., the guy probably didn’t sneak into her house at night and rifle through her things to get it. It’s a trivial point anyway, but to me, it makes the guy that much less of a “Ted Bundy”.
[quote]Nick Danger wrote:
If someone walked up to someone, looked mean at them, shot them, and was then arrested, you’d complain he was arrested for looking mean at the guy – oblivious to the reality.
[/quote]
This is just retarded, I don’t really care for you to elaborate, I am simply quoting it, because I want people to see your imbecilic characterization twice.
Deb, you already went to HR, so for your sake, may they earn their keep, and remedy this situation on your behalf without you having to do much. This is, afterall, one of the reasons for their corporate existence. This is happening a million times right now across America, and 999,999 times, it gets fixed without the need for guns and violence, so I don’t think we’ll be reading about you in the papers any time soon.
And if all else fails, heck, you’ve got a whole posse of tough-typers on here who are willing to saddle up and hang this guy from his nutsack, including anybody who gets in the way. Well, that, or do nothing as usual. Good luck!
[quote]VealChop wrote:
[quote]Nick Danger wrote:
Where does she say it’s a company distribution list, jackass? Maybe it is, maybe not, but you’re making shit up to again intentionally misrepresent and underplay.
[/quote]
The woman originally had no idea on earth how the hell this guy got her email, and then later said that there might be some explanation, because of a distribution list that “we’re on”. I assume…"[/quote]
You “…assume…” in a way to underplay, to make excuses for the guy.
Unsurprising that the facts you predicate your opinion on being right/wrong is irrelevent to you. Thanks for stating the obvious.
Compared to following her to/from work, ignoring repeated warnings to leave her alone, risking his job and new child’s welfare – all thing you gloss over – it is. That’s part of my point – you ignore the important while point out the trivial, and even then you may have the trivial wrong (and having it wrong “…doesn’t make a fucking difference…” to you.
[quote]VealChop wrote:
[quote]Nick Danger wrote:
If someone walked up to someone, looked mean at them, shot them, and was then arrested, you’d complain he was arrested for looking mean at the guy – oblivious to the reality.
[/quote]
This is just retarded, I don’t really care for you to elaborate, I am simply quoting it, because I want people to see your imbecilic characterization twice. [/quote]
With all that happened here’s how you characterized it:
[quote]VealChop wrote:
…A restraining order for someone you haven’t had eye contact with in over a year???..[/quote]
No mention of following/etc., just the eye contact part – once again ignoring the important to focus on the trivial.
Nicely done Mr. Underplaying.
Vote for tell HR, get his ass fired. It isn’t YOU that’s causing him to get fired, it’s HIM. He was well aware of the consequences, so why are you afraid of gasp doing what you told him you would do if he continued?
Creepers are creepers because people are complacent about it, and enable them. If you warn him again, he MAY stop. He also may not. It’s potentially your life you are gambling with, is it really worth being concerned for an asshole like this? Fuck him, he started it.
First quit hitting on the guy, thats probably where you’re going wrong. Seriously though, did you have sex with this guy or somthing, if so admit it if not I have never seen anything like this before? I would definitely not call him out infront of people if this guy is obsessed with you for no reason imagine how obsessed and angry he will be if you call him out in front of everyone, that is just asking for violence.
What kinda stuff is the guy actually sending you anymore, is it the bullshit that he is sending to everyone? Like my friends send me nasty pics and fucked up comics through email. If you feel harassed go to HR but besides that i would file a complaint with the police or get a restraining order. I would not get the restraining order if I didnt feel it was absolutely necessary, once again b/c he might react violently. I would definitely try to clue the police in without them letting him know he is under watch.
And you sort of threw Wol’s comment about pepper spray and tasers and guns out why? Worst comes to worst you should be ready for it, no one should be without defenses incase of attack especially women.
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
I had a nutjob from work in CO try to visit me in OK four years after we’d worked (and talked) together. You cannot predict what an unbalanced individual might do, and it is not your obligation to try.
Wait…hows that weird? What makes this guy a nut job? O.K. I am lost now it aint cool to try to hang with old friends? I have known people less and done more with em then try to hang out. Like road trips or sex that kind of thing.
But, I think I may be borderline whack job like you girls are talking about. I am not “normal” as some would say. For instance I love to pick up hitch hikers, because they usually have cool stories.
And how come the ladies always get stalkers, I want a female stalker for myself. You know what I call a woman that stalks me?
My future Wife.
[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:
And how come the ladies always get stalkers, I want a female stalker for myself. You know what I call a woman that stalks me?
[/quote]
Free booty?
[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:
And how come the ladies always get stalkers, I want a female stalker for myself. You know what I call a woman that stalks me?
My future Wife. :)[/quote]
I know you’re kidding, but you wouldn’t want one. And yes, men do get them.
I didn’t read this whole thread and maybe others have said what I’ll say. No contact, use the authorities, and be careful. Stalkers and the obsessed types see any kind of contact you initiate as a sign you care.
Swords, are a bad idea. Guns and other self defense stuff like pepper spray will require some user training. Notifying HR is good and the authorities is also good. Keeping eyes and ears open is important.
But totally cut off any contact.
Pork Chop,
In the case of Deb, there is no such thing as overreacting. She has exhausted nearly all of her reasonable options, so maybe it’s time to be a bit unreasonable. She should get a trophy for her patience if anything. Personally speaking, I don’t think any person should have to tolerate this shit for the length of time she has.
If you want to talk about ridiculous comparison, you compared me to John Wayne Gacy, and you should know that I don’t clown around (ZING!)
Finally, let’s look at the facts. You are a chop of veal…young, impressionable, and left with no developed muscle. You have not lived long enough to really have any valid opinion, other than how to deal with how you handle being wrapped in cellophane in the meat section of the market.
PS- if you plan on making jokes about my mother, at least try to make them funny.
so did you kill him yet or what?
[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
so did you kill him yet or what?[/quote]
I’m guessing this is the only important part of pages 2-10.
[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
I had a nutjob from work in CO try to visit me in OK four years after we’d worked (and talked) together. You cannot predict what an unbalanced individual might do, and it is not your obligation to try.
Wait…hows that weird? What makes this guy a nut job? O.K. I am lost now it aint cool to try to hang with old friends? I have known people less and done more with em then try to hang out. Like road trips or sex that kind of thing.
But, I think I may be borderline whack job like you girls are talking about. I am not “normal” as some would say. For instance I love to pick up hitch hikers, because they usually have cool stories.[/quote]
Yeah, I didn’t clarify in my initial post, he was also a homeless unmedicated paranoid schizophrenic ex-con (violent crime) with four toes who thought we were soul mates. He wasn’t a work friend, he was a nutjob from work.
The people who say she is overreacting have never been sexually assaulted. Better safe than sorry, and I don’t think alerting people with authority and taking proper legal channels (which is what most people have suggested) is overreacting.
[quote]Nick Danger wrote:
[quote]Mitchel wrote:
I don’t know what has exactly transpired so far because I didn’t bother to read all 9 pages of drivel and banter… but the above is my take on it.[/quote]
Did you read Deb’s first post on page 1?
How is your advice different from what she did there?
[/quote]
Yeah. She said “after telling him to leave me alone didn’t work… I stuck my boss on him.”
Well, detective, what’s different is A) She didn’t tell him a second time, and B) in case you don’t think that should be necessary, I am not convinced that “after I told him to leave me alone” was done in a way to make the message clear. Kinda sounds like playground talk to me - “leave me alone, poo poo head.” Deb seems like someone who doesn’t like confrontation, even going so far as to not make eye contact, etc… as she posted later. That said, she should have approached the guy at work in a semi-private way as not to appear confrontational, and looked him dead square in the eye, and told him that this needs to end, and now, or it would go further through management.
It didn’t sound to me like that’s how it went down, and whether that’s right or not, there are some of those “no means yes” types who have to be told directly and severely before it will sink in… but which doesn’t mean they need to have their lives ruined.
Now, you can continue to knit pick my post, and criticize my advice if you want, but there are 9 pages worth of other suggestions, many of which border on completely fucking stupid. So take a chill pill and focus your attack on someone else.
PS. When I said I didn’t know what had transpired thus far - in your selective quotation of myself - I meant that I didn’t know what the previous 8 pages of suggestions entailed. That was not a reference to her situation.
Excuse the double post… but to VealChop in regard to the overreacting thing at the top of page 10;
Agreed once again. There are a lot of assumptions here, one of which is that Deb is giving us the facts without indulging a bit. Maybe a little bit. Maybe a lot. You dumbasses all assume that you’re getting the 100% truth from someone on an internet forum that you don’t even know, and then rag on V-Chop for giving a thought. You don’t even suspect that the story, even if totally true, is being slanted for board approval of the poster. I mean come on, who wants to come to Tnation to get criticized when you could instead get everyone on your side? For all you know, she was seeing this guy, broke it off abruptly, and then went to HR when he had a hard time handling it. Now she just wants him out of the workplace. The whole wife and kids thing could be misdirection. Point is, you don’t know. Hence the basis of my advice.
LOL.