how did the date go? give us details
I knew I could get you on the right track.
[quote]on edge wrote:
I knew I could get you on the right track.[/quote]
You did a good job, OE.
Finally, a thread with a followup.
[quote]CircaThursday wrote:
how did the date go? give us details[/quote]
Meh. I’m not into her at all.
And the date with the girl from Sunday isn’t happening, as she never called me back 
This is where it usually falls apart for me. I’ll never understand why girls give me their number with no intention of actually replying. This literally happens to me 95+% of the time.
At a loss of what to do next. Kinda feel like a big dork with no opportunities right now. Worse yet it really stung when I had to RSVP to the office holiday party yesterday without a plus one–I’ll be the only one without one.
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
And the date with the girl from Sunday isn’t happening, as she never called me back
This is where it usually falls apart for me. I’ll never understand why girls give me their number with no intention of actually replying. This literally happens to me 95+% of the time.
At a loss of what to do next. Kinda feel like a big dork with no opportunities right now. Worse yet it really stung when I had to RSVP to the office holiday party yesterday without a plus one–I’ll be the only one without one.[/quote]
Don’t worry man, you’ve got tons of time. There’s someone out there for everybody. Heck I don’t really have any opportunities either… I need to find a gym with more chicks.
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
[quote]CircaThursday wrote:
how did the date go? give us details[/quote]
Meh. I’m not into her at all.
And the date with the girl from Sunday isn’t happening, as she never called me back
This is where it usually falls apart for me. I’ll never understand why girls give me their number with no intention of actually replying. This literally happens to me 95+% of the time.
At a loss of what to do next. Kinda feel like a big dork with no opportunities right now. Worse yet it really stung when I had to RSVP to the office holiday party yesterday without a plus one–I’ll be the only one without one. [/quote]
Don’t take it personally, just move on to the next one. Some women are flaky as hell. It’s good you’re approaching women. Waitresses and female bartenders are a shady group in my experience.
Just curious, are you calling or texting these women very quickly or frequently?
True dat. Waitresses/bartenders usually have no shortage of callers and can be choosy unless they’re holding out for a solid relationship.
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
Waitresses and female bartenders are a shady group in my experience.
Just curious, are you calling or texting these women very quickly or frequently?
[/quote]
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
Meh. I’m not into her at all.
And the date with the girl from Sunday isn’t happening, as she never called me back
This is where it usually falls apart for me. I’ll never understand why girls give me their number with no intention of actually replying. [/quote]
Girls will give their number out to anybody nowadays.
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
This literally happens to me 95+% of the time. [/quote]
It means you didn’t create enough or any attraction with her.
Here’s something most guys don’t understand: Facts are BORING to women. When you speak focus on the EMOTIONS.
Let me give you an example of a story I tell sometimes to girls. I often try to segway my conversations into this trip I took to Las Vegas for one of the biggest electronic music festivals in North America called EDC.
When I first began to tell the story I noticed I was just listing facts: The location, the venue, the artists, who I went with, what I hotel I stayed at etc. etc.
Now?
I focus on what it felt like to get so close to my favourite artists, the moment of euphoria when the DJ played my favourite song after it seemed like he was going to, the synergy of the crowd and how cool it was to be in a place where 100,000+ people were all completely on same page.
Note the difference?
Which one will elicit the desired reaction? The man who lists facts or the man who speaks passionately about his life experiences?
I’ll bet you’re doing the former.
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
At a loss of what to do next. [/quote]
Move on and keep trying. You’re going to go through a lot of mental anguish before it starts to click.
It happens. Giving out her number is typically harmless so she can go along with it. She may have had interest or she may have just been doing it to make you feel good and she wasn’t forward enough to let you know she wasn’t interested. Even if she had interest, a few days can have her second guessing. Maybe she’s been talking to someone else too? Maybe she doesn’t want to date? Maybe there is something about you she doesn’t like?
Look how your date went: You went out with her, had probably a decent time, but you don’t have any additional interest in her. How did you end the date- “I’ll call you?” or “We should do this again?” Are you going to let her know you aren’t interested and that’s why you aren’t going to go out with her again? Or are you going to dodge the calls?
Honestly, it happens. It’s easier to bail on someone when they aren’t right in front of you. Just take it on the chin and move on.
don’t just go to meat market bars!
what do you do for fun in your free time? car shows, concerts, flea market, gun shows? you’ll have something in common with the majority of women you meet there. it’s easier to start a conversation when there is common ground. if you find someone and decide to meet again it’s neutral territory that allows either of you to walk away if you want.
like most of the posts say just be yourself when talking to women but walk into the place like you own it. look up not down, scan the place like it’s your kingdom, be confident and maybe a little cocky but don’t be an ass. it gets attention and makes you intriguing.
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
[quote]CircaThursday wrote:
how did the date go? give us details[/quote]
Meh. I’m not into her at all.
And the date with the girl from Sunday isn’t happening, as she never called me back
This is where it usually falls apart for me. I’ll never understand why girls give me their number with no intention of actually replying. This literally happens to me 95+% of the time.
At a loss of what to do next. Kinda feel like a big dork with no opportunities right now. Worse yet it really stung when I had to RSVP to the office holiday party yesterday without a plus one–I’ll be the only one without one. [/quote]
That’s too bad. Let me say if you get a number and call but get no response, that is no reflection on you. Do you really want to start a relationship with someone like that? I may be retired from the game for several years but a woman like that is not worth what you have to offer.
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
[quote]CircaThursday wrote:
how did the date go? give us details[/quote]
Meh. I’m not into her at all.
And the date with the girl from Sunday isn’t happening, as she never called me back
This is where it usually falls apart for me. I’ll never understand why girls give me their number with no intention of actually replying. This literally happens to me 95+% of the time.
At a loss of what to do next. Kinda feel like a big dork with no opportunities right now. Worse yet it really stung when I had to RSVP to the office holiday party yesterday without a plus one–I’ll be the only one without one. [/quote]
No offense, but I had a feeling this was going to happen, ONLY because of this post you made above:
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
I have no problem whatsoever talking to men or unattractive or taken women. I’m a very social person. It’s just the ones I’m attracted to that I struggle with. [/quote]
Time to start reading How To Succeed With Women and The Way of the Superior Man. SERIOUSLY.
If you can approach women, get their numbers, etc, only for it to hit the fan after a few interactions, it means you’re coming across as any one of the following: needy, dependent, overly available, reactive (opposed to proactive), etc.
Here’s where the whole PUA stuff comes in handy. There are nuggets of GOLD in there that apply to nearly all women in nearly all situations. A lot of other stuff’s contextual, but there are underlying things that get all womens panties wet. Learn those things.
You just need to push through the rejections and lacklustre dates. They can bruise your ego a bit at first but after a few of them it’s like water off a duck’s back. Trust me on this: I’d never really dated much until a few months ago, but since then I’ve been on dates with around 10 different girls. Been rejected, been unimpressed, got laid (not necessarily in that order) and now I think I’ve found a girl I genuinely want to spend some more time with.
It’s a learning experience. My dating “skills” as per conversation and flirting are much better, confidence is up just from seeing what you can actually get away with saying (hint: it’s whatever the fuck you like), and I also have a much clearer idea of what type of woman I get on with and the qualities that turn me on (other than nice firm knockers).
Just kep plugging away.
[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
[quote]CircaThursday wrote:
how did the date go? give us details[/quote]
Meh. I’m not into her at all.
And the date with the girl from Sunday isn’t happening, as she never called me back
This is where it usually falls apart for me. I’ll never understand why girls give me their number with no intention of actually replying. This literally happens to me 95+% of the time.
At a loss of what to do next. Kinda feel like a big dork with no opportunities right now. Worse yet it really stung when I had to RSVP to the office holiday party yesterday without a plus one–I’ll be the only one without one. [/quote]
No offense, but I had a feeling this was going to happen, ONLY because of this post you made above:
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
I have no problem whatsoever talking to men or unattractive or taken women. I’m a very social person. It’s just the ones I’m attracted to that I struggle with. [/quote]
Time to start reading How To Succeed With Women and The Way of the Superior Man. SERIOUSLY.
If you can approach women, get their numbers, etc, only for it to hit the fan after a few interactions, it means you’re coming across as any one of the following: needy, dependent, overly available, reactive (opposed to proactive), etc.
Here’s where the whole PUA stuff comes in handy. There are nuggets of GOLD in there that apply to nearly all women in nearly all situations. A lot of other stuff’s contextual, but there are underlying things that get all womens panties wet. Learn those things.[/quote]
Yeah, so much for keeping it real.
Strategies based on understanding female Homo sapiens mate choosing habits. Kinda like hacking, until she finds out who you really are hehe. I’m sure if you play it right it will get you a lot of attention. But isn’t it funner just being yourself?
The best advice I can give when it comes to women is don’t over think it. In many areas of my life I tend to be quite an introspective person, and I also can be prone to over-analysis. I don’t think that either are traits that particularly help when it comes to meeting women, and as much as possible I try and suppress them when I am looking to meet someone.
Trying to understand the motivation behind the other persons actions and also worrying about every single thing you do in any interaction will only result in you looking unsure and low in confidence. The alternative, where you don’t really worry about whether or not a girl is in your league; where you act exactly the same with both new and old acquaintances; and where you don’t try and be what you think people want you to be, will not only make you more successful with ladies, it will also make you feel better about life in general.
Remember, the majority of men and women are average in most aspects of life. If you look after yourself physically, if you work hard and earn a good living, if you are constantly learning, well you’re already above average. Most women would kill for a man that was better than average, and most very rarely find one. You are a rare and valuable commodity, start acting like it!
[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
[quote]CircaThursday wrote:
how did the date go? give us details[/quote]
Meh. I’m not into her at all.
And the date with the girl from Sunday isn’t happening, as she never called me back
This is where it usually falls apart for me. I’ll never understand why girls give me their number with no intention of actually replying. This literally happens to me 95+% of the time.
At a loss of what to do next. Kinda feel like a big dork with no opportunities right now. Worse yet it really stung when I had to RSVP to the office holiday party yesterday without a plus one–I’ll be the only one without one. [/quote]
No offense, but I had a feeling this was going to happen, ONLY because of this post you made above:
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
I have no problem whatsoever talking to men or unattractive or taken women. I’m a very social person. It’s just the ones I’m attracted to that I struggle with. [/quote]
Time to start reading How To Succeed With Women and The Way of the Superior Man. SERIOUSLY.
If you can approach women, get their numbers, etc, only for it to hit the fan after a few interactions, it means you’re coming across as any one of the following: needy, dependent, overly available, reactive (opposed to proactive), etc.
Here’s where the whole PUA stuff comes in handy. There are nuggets of GOLD in there that apply to nearly all women in nearly all situations. A lot of other stuff’s contextual, but there are underlying things that get all womens panties wet. Learn those things.[/quote]
No offense taken. I see the past few weeks as a victory in that I was terrified to talk to attractive women, and I am no longer. Next step is to actually learn how to approach.
It’s analogous to finally getting off your lazy ass and deciding to get a gym membership. It is a GREAT step forward, but you need an intelligently designed program and some coaching to get anywhere.
I will buy both those books today.
Thanks
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
And the date with the girl from Sunday isn’t happening, as she never called me back
This is where it usually falls apart for me. I’ll never understand why girls give me their number with no intention of actually replying. This literally happens to me 95+% of the time.
At a loss of what to do next. Kinda feel like a big dork with no opportunities right now. Worse yet it really stung when I had to RSVP to the office holiday party yesterday without a plus one–I’ll be the only one without one. [/quote]
She was a waitress/bartender?
A certain amount of persistence will usually help out. If she’s cute (and in any profession), she’ll get a lot of advances. In some way or another, you need to distinguish yourself from the crowd. If she gave you her number the first time she met you, that means she probably has given her number out to a number of guys, the first time she met them.
Depending on what you’re looking for… and I’m going to assume you’re looking for someone to spend some genuinely quality time with… she’s going to be a little more discriminate than basing it all on one conversation.
Basically, you made it past the first of her filters, but no further. Don’t expect her to take the next move. You’ve already gotten discouraged after this point. The guys who don’t get discouraged, and still are able to keep her interested, are the ones she’ll date.
On a related note,
Bartenders and waitresses – service staff in general – usually make a distinction between us vs them. There’s the people they work with, and other people in the service industry who are “us”, and there’s the customers, who are “them”. If you met her at her work, you’ll be classified as a customer by default. You’re just one of the many guys she meets on the job.
Now that’s not to say she wasn’t genuinely attracted to you, but you didn’t quite pass all of her tests for her to want to move forward.
IF she’s someone you’re actually interested in, and she’s in the service industry, and she’s not interested in meeting you outside of her work yet… then you’ll need to find a way to get to know her while she’s at work. If she’s a bartender, go there with some friends, hang out with them, spend some time chatting with her, and just, over time, get to the point where she feels familiar with you. In my experience, it still takes at least 4 visits even when you basically know what you’re doing.
Really the key to this is persistence. You can be really creepy about it, or you can be really charming about it. You don’t want it to seem like you’re there just to see her (at least not yet). You don’t want to give her crazy tips to show you’re interested in her. Just be doing your own thing, and here and there showing interest in her. Get her talking about herself. Ask her about her job. Pay attention to the workplace drama. A few interesting stories told in an emotive way (like therajraj said above) help a lot, but then switch the focus back on her.
Eventually, when you’ve built up her familiarity and comfort with you, you can probe her for things she might want to do. Again, let her volunteer these things to you without actually asking. And then find out when she’s off, and if she wants to go with you sometime.
It’s one strategy, and one that’s worked pretty well for me. You need to balance the interest with the disinterest, the friendship with the romance and flirtation, the mystery with the revelations.
For, you know, just picking up a random girl and going on a date for the sake of going on a date… I really have no practice doing that. But I’m also not interested in that. Quality girls generally aren’t very easy.
Wow that was long. Whoops.
[quote]Severiano wrote:
Strategies based on understanding female Homo sapiens mate choosing habits. Kinda like hacking, until she finds out who you really are hehe. I’m sure if you play it right it will get you a lot of attention. But isn’t it funner just being yourself?
[/quote]
Not if it does not get you laid, no.
Plus, if you are doing it right that sooner or later is you and you wonder why you ever did things differently.