joins a group of some sort - extracurricular, group of friends, church whatever. Eyes a girl then plans for 6-8 weeks on how to ask her out. He Finally builds up the courage but gets rejected.
When he notices the cute girl eying him in the elevator, he does everything in his power to avoid eye contact with her.
Successful guy:
On the way to work, he flirts with the girl next to him on the subway.
Tries to pickup cute Barista at Starbucks during his coffee break
hits on the girl standing beside him at the cross walk
When he’s out at a bar he talks to cute girls even if it’s a “boys night out,” friends birthday or whatever.
The successful guy constantly has leads trickling in, while the unsuccessful guy constantly specializes and gets depressed when things don’t pan out.
The successful guy doesn’t care if he gets rejected and accepts it as part of life. The unsuccessful guy is effected for weeks even months by rejection.
[/quote]
Yes. The ‘its a lifestyle change’ actually works well in this context.
Its also why I recommended the Tinder app – an efficient way to streamline years of dating experiences into months literally, and to get over (the fear of) rejection and keep it moving.
[/quote]
how is Tinder panning out for you? a few of my friends swear by it, but they’re in a big college town
Update:
Tried tinder. Got two coffee dates right away. I REALLY liked one of them and will be seeing her again. I shit you not, after we’ve been there two hours she says “I should probably get going. I want to workout before I meet some friends for dinner. Today’s back/shoulders.”
She also complained about how she’s been writing nutrition plan’s for friends and they’re not following them.
Are you shitting me?!!
Anyway, sweet, sexy, all around badass. I’m happy about this turn of events. Thanks for the advice in here. I kept it really cool throughout the date.
On a side note, I have no idea how women pick up on this shit up with their sixth sense. Just the small boost in confidence and this weekend for the first time in my life women approached me at a bar. I was literally sitting at a table against a wall just have a heart to heart with one of my bros too. Moral of the story, let go, have a good time. People are drawn to people who are happy with themselves.
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
On a side note, I have no idea how women pick this shit up. Just the small boost in confidence and this weekend for the first time in my life women approached me at a bar. I was literally sitting at a table against a wall just have a heart to heart with one of my bros too. Moral of the story, let go, have a good time. People are drawn to people who are happy with themselves. [/quote]
Ride this and keep it up. Keep improving any way you can. Read those books and you’ll have even more success.
This is the sorta stuff that starts a positive reinforcement loop that’ll snowball into something fucking awesome.
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
On a side note, I have no idea how women pick this shit up. Just the small boost in confidence and this weekend for the first time in my life women approached me at a bar. I was literally sitting at a table against a wall just have a heart to heart with one of my bros too. Moral of the story, let go, have a good time. People are drawn to people who are happy with themselves. [/quote]
Ride this and keep it up. Keep improving any way you can. Read those books and you’ll have even more success.
This is the sorta stuff that starts a positive reinforcement loop that’ll snowball into something fucking awesome.[/quote]
Thanks. That’s the plan. The best part is at one point this weekend I shared a taxi home with a girl I was dancing with all night. I tried to kiss her twice and got her cheek. I guess that’s “rejection” but I really didn’t give a fuck. It was a great night anyway. I’ve never let myself be comfortable with “failure” before.
On a side note, I have no idea how women pick up on this shit up with their sixth sense. Just the small boost in confidence and this weekend for the first time in my life women approached me at a bar. I was literally sitting at a table against a wall just have a heart to heart with one of my bros too. Moral of the story, let go, have a good time. People are drawn to people who are happy with themselves. [/quote]
yea women do sense the confidence. it can be as simple as wearing a nice designer shirt and levis jeans. you feel like you look good and women will stare.
keep it up bro.
I hope my previous posts helped
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
Update:
Tried tinder. Got two coffee dates right away. I REALLY liked one of them and will be seeing her again. I shit you not, after we’ve been there two hours she says “I should probably get going. I want to workout before I meet some friends for dinner. Today’s back/shoulders.”
She also complained about how she’s been writing nutrition plan’s for friends and they’re not following them.
Are you shitting me?!!
Anyway, sweet, sexy, all around badass. I’m happy about this turn of events. Thanks for the advice in here. I kept it really cool throughout the date.
On a side note, I have no idea how women pick up on this shit up with their sixth sense. Just the small boost in confidence and this weekend for the first time in my life women approached me at a bar. I was literally sitting at a table against a wall just have a heart to heart with one of my bros too. Moral of the story, let go, have a good time. People are drawn to people who are happy with themselves. [/quote]
Do yourself a favor and keep up talking to random women and such. Don’t put all your eggs in 1 basket with this girl (although she sounds cool- POIDH?). Keep playing the field and keep communication with her open if you like her. Just don’t go getting yourself in a relationship that quickly when you could reap mucho benefits from riding the confidence you have now.
[quote]coolnatedawg wrote:
Do yourself a favor and keep up talking to random women and such. Don’t put all your eggs in 1 basket with this girl (although she sounds cool- POIDH?). Keep playing the field and keep communication with her open if you like her. Just don’t go getting yourself in a relationship that quickly when you could reap mucho benefits from riding the confidence you have now.[/quote]
[quote]coolnatedawg wrote:
You should be trying to start a conversation with EVERYONE not just women you are attracted to. I can guarantee you if you are this awkward with girls you probably aren’t a social butterfly either. Since you are new in town (thought I read that?), you should be chatting up everyone. Not only will this make it more comfortable for you to pick up chicks but it will also get you connected with people and making friends.[/quote]
Yes, exactly…talk to everyone. Talk to ugly women too. It makes you seem less shallow.
[quote]coolnatedawg wrote:
You should be trying to start a conversation with EVERYONE not just women you are attracted to. I can guarantee you if you are this awkward with girls you probably aren’t a social butterfly either. Since you are new in town (thought I read that?), you should be chatting up everyone. Not only will this make it more comfortable for you to pick up chicks but it will also get you connected with people and making friends.[/quote]
Yes, exactly…talk to everyone. Talk to ugly women too. It makes you seem less shallow.[/quote]
I have no problem whatsoever talking to men or unattractive or taken women. I’m a very social person. It’s just the ones I’m attracted to that I struggle with.
Just a quick update things have really turned around for me…not just in terms of getting silly tinder dates, but actually being a man of action and approaching girls I like.
The past few weekends I’ve gotten numbers of waitresses. And the best part is, it doesn’t really matter what you say, just that you approach and are genuine. I’m pretty sure tonight I grabbed a cute hostess who had been smiling at me throughout dinner and all I said was something like “Hey, I wanted to make sure I talked to you before I leave, because you’re so cute. I’m Jake.” 15 min later I have her phone number and she did a free shot with me on her tab and she wants to go out with me.
Thanks for keeping this such a productive, honest, and respectful thread guys. I’ve taken your bits of wisdom to heart. Most importantly, it’s kind of my obligation as a man to make these opportunities happen.
Oh and I am no longer officially a “date” virgin…lol.
[quote]jskrabac wrote:
Just a quick update things have really turned around for me…not just in terms of getting silly tinder dates, but actually being a man of action and approaching girls I like.
The past few weekends I’ve gotten numbers of waitresses. And the best part is, it doesn’t really matter what you say, just that you approach and are genuine. I’m pretty sure tonight I grabbed a cute hostess who had been smiling at me throughout dinner and all I said was something like “Hey, I wanted to make sure I talked to you before I leave, because you’re so cute. I’m Jake.” 15 min later I have her phone number and she did a free shot with me on her tab and she wants to go out with me.
Thanks for keeping this such a productive, honest, and respectful thread guys. I’ve taken your bits of wisdom to heart. Most importantly, it’s kind of my obligation as a man to make these opportunities happen.
Oh and I am no longer officially a “date” virgin…lol. [/quote]