Dating Advice

Off Topic
181

[quote]jskrabac wrote:

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:

[quote]jskrabac wrote:

[quote]CircaThursday wrote:
how did the date go? give us details[/quote]

Meh. I’m not into her at all.

And the date with the girl from Sunday isn’t happening, as she never called me back :confused:

This is where it usually falls apart for me. I’ll never understand why girls give me their number with no intention of actually replying. This literally happens to me 95+% of the time.

At a loss of what to do next. Kinda feel like a big dork with no opportunities right now. Worse yet it really stung when I had to RSVP to the office holiday party yesterday without a plus one–I’ll be the only one without one. [/quote]

No offense, but I had a feeling this was going to happen, ONLY because of this post you made above:

[quote]jskrabac wrote:
I have no problem whatsoever talking to men or unattractive or taken women. I’m a very social person. It’s just the ones I’m attracted to that I struggle with. [/quote]

Time to start reading How To Succeed With Women and The Way of the Superior Man. SERIOUSLY.

If you can approach women, get their numbers, etc, only for it to hit the fan after a few interactions, it means you’re coming across as any one of the following: needy, dependent, overly available, reactive (opposed to proactive), etc.

Here’s where the whole PUA stuff comes in handy. There are nuggets of GOLD in there that apply to nearly all women in nearly all situations. A lot of other stuff’s contextual, but there are underlying things that get all womens panties wet. Learn those things.[/quote]

No offense taken. I see the past few weeks as a victory in that I was terrified to talk to attractive women, and I am no longer. Next step is to actually learn how to approach.

It’s analogous to finally getting off your lazy ass and deciding to get a gym membership. It is a GREAT step forward, but you need an intelligently designed program and some coaching to get anywhere.

I will buy both those books today.

Thanks[/quote]

You need a Pook.

Best book ever on the subject.

http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/book_of_pook.pdf

It iseth the Bible of all things Game or at least a sizeable junk of the old testament.

182

[quote]Severiano wrote:

[quote]RRJC5488 wrote:
Time to start reading How To Succeed With Women and The Way of the Superior Man. SERIOUSLY.

If you can approach women, get their numbers, etc, only for it to hit the fan after a few interactions, it means you’re coming across as any one of the following: needy, dependent, overly available, reactive (opposed to proactive), etc.

Here’s where the whole PUA stuff comes in handy. There are nuggets of GOLD in there that apply to nearly all women in nearly all situations. A lot of other stuff’s contextual, but there are underlying things that get all womens panties wet. Learn those things.[/quote]

Yeah, so much for keeping it real.

Strategies based on understanding female Homo sapiens mate choosing habits. Kinda like hacking, until she finds out who you really are hehe. I’m sure if you play it right it will get you a lot of attention. But isn’t it funner just being yourself?
[/quote]

Kinda like hacking, but life hacks are the shit. You know tons of people who use life hacks all of the time. They’re the people you call “successful.” Some people are born with “it”, some need to learn “it”, but anyone can become “it”. Most people who don’t do it naturally are just too passive to actually take the effort to learn what it takes to be successful (in any realm, not just women.) (youtube “ted talks power pose” for an awesome life hack, by the way…)

The thing is, you say “until she finds out who you really are.” I think you’re assuming that I’m talking about putting up a facade about who you are to appear to a chick a certain way, but I’m not. A lot of the stuff that attracts women to men are things men should be doing for themselves in the first place. I’d argue that I’m more “myself” now that I’m having success with women than I was years ago when I failing.

There was some old thread on here where AngryChicken said something to the effect of “once you see the matrix, all will make sense.” Leonardo Da Vinci said “Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.” The two books I recommended above both stress self awareness, proactivity, self esteem, independence, self improvement, etc. ALL things that will make you a better man/human being. They discuss it in the context of attracting women, but there are numerous other books that I’ve read (that AngryChicken and others on here recommended) that all have both small and HUGE connections between other aspects of your life.

If anyone’s interested, those books are:

Atomic Dog: The Testosterone Principles by TC. I read this book years ago, before that whole confession/question thread on here about picking up chicks and it was a huge fresh breath of air. I am forever grateful to him for writing his “let go of the rock” article (which is in his book) among other stuff in his book. AngryChickens advice on that confession/question thread is invaluable beyond words which I’m hugely grateful for, too.

Iron John - Robert Bly
Art of Seduction - Robert Greene
Mastery - Robert Greene
48 Laws of Power - Robert Greene
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem - Nathaniel Branden
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
The Secret - Rhonda Byrne
His Essential Wisdom - The Dalai Lama
The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln - Anthony Gross
Mind OS - Paul Dobransky
The Definitive Book of Body Language - Allan and Barbara Pease

There are plenty more that I’ve got on my “to read” list, as well. The Book of Pook’s on it, lol.

Obviously, that’s a shitload of reading, but they all offer amazing pieces of advice on your life as a whole.

183

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:

[quote]Severiano wrote:

[quote]RRJC5488 wrote:
Time to start reading How To Succeed With Women and The Way of the Superior Man. SERIOUSLY.

If you can approach women, get their numbers, etc, only for it to hit the fan after a few interactions, it means you’re coming across as any one of the following: needy, dependent, overly available, reactive (opposed to proactive), etc.

Here’s where the whole PUA stuff comes in handy. There are nuggets of GOLD in there that apply to nearly all women in nearly all situations. A lot of other stuff’s contextual, but there are underlying things that get all womens panties wet. Learn those things.[/quote]

Yeah, so much for keeping it real.

Strategies based on understanding female Homo sapiens mate choosing habits. Kinda like hacking, until she finds out who you really are hehe. I’m sure if you play it right it will get you a lot of attention. But isn’t it funner just being yourself?
[/quote]

Kinda like hacking, but life hacks are the shit. You know tons of people who use life hacks all of the time. They’re the people you call “successful.” Some people are born with “it”, some need to learn “it”, but anyone can become “it”. Most people who don’t do it naturally are just too passive to actually take the effort to learn what it takes to be successful (in any realm, not just women.) (youtube “ted talks power pose” for an awesome life hack, by the way…)

The thing is, you say “until she finds out who you really are.” I think you’re assuming that I’m talking about putting up a facade about who you are to appear to a chick a certain way, but I’m not. A lot of the stuff that attracts women to men are things men should be doing for themselves in the first place. I’d argue that I’m more “myself” now that I’m having success with women than I was years ago when I failing.

There was some old thread on here where AngryChicken said something to the effect of “once you see the matrix, all will make sense.” Leonardo Da Vinci said “Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.” The two books I recommended above both stress self awareness, proactivity, self esteem, independence, self improvement, etc. ALL things that will make you a better man/human being. They discuss it in the context of attracting women, but there are numerous other books that I’ve read (that AngryChicken and others on here recommended) that all have both small and HUGE connections between other aspects of your life.

If anyone’s interested, those books are:

Atomic Dog: The Testosterone Principles by TC. I read this book years ago, before that whole confession/question thread on here about picking up chicks and it was a huge fresh breath of air. I am forever grateful to him for writing his “let go of the rock” article (which is in his book) among other stuff in his book. AngryChickens advice on that confession/question thread is invaluable beyond words which I’m hugely grateful for, too.

Iron John - Robert Bly
Art of Seduction - Robert Greene
Mastery - Robert Greene
48 Laws of Power - Robert Greene
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem - Nathaniel Branden
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
The Secret - Rhonda Byrne
His Essential Wisdom - The Dalai Lama
The Wit and Wisdom of Abraham Lincoln - Anthony Gross
Mind OS - Paul Dobransky
The Definitive Book of Body Language - Allan and Barbara Pease

There are plenty more that I’ve got on my “to read” list, as well. The Book of Pook’s on it, lol.

Obviously, that’s a shitload of reading, but they all offer amazing pieces of advice on your life as a whole.[/quote]

You know, if I knew what a persons specific hangups are I could tell them what to read.

But I dont.

Do they think that women are somehow better than them?

Do they buy into the whole female imperative?

Do they lack in some areas that could easily be remedied, like looking like a fat hobo.

Do they question whether “tricking” women to sleep with them is somehow dishonorable?

Do they try to identify with women in order to get laid? (rarely works, but the fastes road to manginahood)

If I just KNEW I could, but since I dont, all that remains is the shotgun apptroach.

To OP, I am very, very for the direction Game is going at the moment, meaning, focusing on building better men, but nobody died, ever, from knowing what a shittest was and how to deal with them.

You need some tools in your toolbox, not just self improvement and a set of balls.

184

Hmm, in my experience a little class, set of balls, and simply enjoying one another and having fun with your time, having a sense of exploration and not being possessive or some crazy stalker is a great route.

You will get shelved by some, and these can become just friends, but what ends up being kinda funny is, sometimes they might look to you for things like revenge sex, or if you have a great physique you never know what hit you… She might invite you to drinks, and for whatever hormonal reasons she wants you, like right there lol. It’s happened to me, and I’ve done plenty of identifying with these women, I also think it’s dishonorable to trick a woman into sex.

I dunno, I like being honest and open. I think my physical setup is a pleasant surprise for most as well, but a lot of the time the women that go for just that are slobs and have other issues.

Trust and reputation are things a lot of dudes kinda don’t worry about, but they are important. Especially once you get the reputation for treating people well.

185

you guys are all straight up overcomplicating this.

You are trying to turn him into the dating equivilent of skinny guy who wears belt/gloves/underarmor accesories with a heart rate monitor, nike fuel band, note pad and personal trainer to go to the gym. It’s not that hard. If it was ugly/stupid people wouldnt be reproducing at such an alarming rate.

186

[quote]Waittz wrote:
you guys are all straight up overcomplicating this.

You are trying to turn him into the dating equivilent of skinny guy who wears belt/gloves/underarmor accesories with a heart rate monitor, nike fuel band, note pad and personal trainer to go to the gym. It’s not that hard. If it was ugly/stupid people wouldnt be reproducing at such an alarming rate.
[/quote]
Fair enough, but couldn’t you just be someone for whom it comes naturally? Sometimes when people are good at something they don’t even necessarily realize why.

I mean maybe you’re like the dating equivalent of Zydrunas Savickas. People ask him how he got his shoulders so strong, and he basically said “Just go to the gym and lift more weight every time you’re there. I don’t get why you all are having such a hard time with this.”

187

“The Bible of all things Game”

Jesus Christ…
I can’t stop laughing.

188

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:
you guys are all straight up overcomplicating this.

You are trying to turn him into the dating equivilent of skinny guy who wears belt/gloves/underarmor accesories with a heart rate monitor, nike fuel band, note pad and personal trainer to go to the gym. It’s not that hard. If it was ugly/stupid people wouldnt be reproducing at such an alarming rate.
[/quote]
Fair enough, but couldn’t you just be someone for whom it comes naturally? Sometimes when people are good at something they don’t even necessarily realize why.

I mean maybe you’re like the dating equivalent of Zydrunas Savickas. People ask him how he got his shoulders so strong, and he basically said “Just go to the gym and lift more weight every time you’re there. I don’t get why you all are having such a hard time with this.”[/quote]

But that is just the thing, it is that simple. Stop carring so much or trying to complicate things. Its like a dude with premature ejaculation problems worrying so much that he might shoot his load early that he cant even get his dick up in front of a woman. Get him drunk and suddenly he’s cured. How? He no longer worries about it and just goes on instict. God gave you a dick and balls with enough insite to let them work on auto pilot so stop letting your brain get in the way.

189

[quote]Severiano wrote:
Hmm, in my experience a little class, set of balls, and simply enjoying one another and having fun with your time, having a sense of exploration and not being possessive or some crazy stalker is a great route.
[/quote]

You’re not wrong that that’s a great route to go. But it doesn’t work for just everyone. You clearly have “it” naturally, given the fact that you have platonic woman friends who come to you for revenge sex. OP clearly doesn’t.

It’s funny to me that you think it’s dishonorable to trick a woman into sex (which I said nothing of), but you’re more than happy to take advantage of the fact that if a woman’s in enough of a desperate state for ‘revenge sex’, you’ll gladly give it to them. I’m not even saying there’s anything wrong with that, just something I noticed.

And again, I will stress the fact that I don’t lie to, deceive, or ‘trick’ women into having sex with me.

I don’t even know what this means, lol.

Right, but if you asked your average guy what “treating a woman well” means, he’ll answer with a lot of things that women actually DON’T like. I’m all for treating people well, but for a lot of people, that unfortunately turns them into a pushover.

190

[quote]Waittz wrote:
you guys are all straight up overcomplicating this.

You are trying to turn him into the dating equivilent of skinny guy who wears belt/gloves/underarmor accesories with a heart rate monitor, nike fuel band, note pad and personal trainer to go to the gym. It’s not that hard. If it was ugly/stupid people wouldnt be reproducing at such an alarming rate.

[/quote]

Nope. What you’re describing is like what someone wrote earlier “do everything Don Draper does” which will make him look like the asshat with all the gizmos who still weighs 120lbs soaking wet.

We’re taking that skinny guy and saying “stop doing chest and biceps 3 days a week. Here’s a program written by CT that’s perfect for what you need. Here’s how to box squat properly. Do twice as much pulling as you do pushing for shoulder health. Do heavy deadlifts. Here’s a few tubs of MAG-10 and Plazma. Here’s a nutrition program.”

You can either look like you lift because you walk in decked out in underarmour and a nike fuel band and whatever else, or you can look like you lift by walking into the gym with a huge set of traps. We’re turning OP into the guy with the huge traps, not the nike fuel band.

It’s why a few of us keep stressing confidence WITH CONGRUENCE (huge traps), as opposed to just feigned confidence (nike fuel band.)

Waittz, you’re the man, but it comes naturally for you. For a lot of us, it didn’t. I was once in the same situation as OP (decent looking, could talk to girls, but couldn’t keep them) but once you learn a few things, everything makes much more sense.

191

[quote]orion wrote:
To OP, I am very, very for the direction Game is going at the moment, meaning, focusing on building better men, but nobody died, ever, from knowing what a shittest was and how to deal with them.

You need some tools in your toolbox, not just self improvement and a set of balls. [/quote]

This.

OP, once you start consciously recognizing women’s shit tests and learn how to pass them (you’re failing at them, currently), you’ll be golden.

Orion, I didn’t realize the ‘game’ idea was moving in the direction of building better men, mainly because I don’t pay attention to ‘game’ stuff, but if it is actually moving from peacocking with feder boa’s and other such crap to building better men, I’d be interested in any resources you’d recommend. Care to share?

192

An example (from real life).

On the way out, walk over towards the waitress you’ve been matching eye contact with off and on all night and get her attention.

Her: “You need something?”
You: “Nah. We’re on our way out, and I just wanted to say bye.”
Her: “You guys have a good night?”
You: “Yeah, we did. Thanks.”
Her: “Sure”
You: “So what nights do you work?”
Her: “Umm… Thursday and Sunday, sometimes Wednesday and Friday”
You: “Huh. So if I were to stop by to see you, which would be best?”
Her: “Definitely Thursday or Sunday”
You: “Well, I might stop by then” and start toward the door
Her: “My name’s A”
You: “Yeah, I got that earlier”, or nod toward her tag or whatever
Her: “What’s your name?”
You: “B”
Her: “Nice to meet you B” – she extends her hand and you shake
You: “I’ll see you around”
Give her a small hug, smile, and leave.

You don’t ask for her number. You build some interest, you tease her a bit, you offer her the possibility of seeing you again, you build some body language and rapport, and then you leave her wanting more. You make her ask for YOUR name, you make her want to know you, not the other way around.

Sure, you opened the conversation, but you made her do the work.

193

[quote]LoRez wrote:
An example (from real life).

On the way out, walk over towards the waitress you’ve been matching eye contact with off and on all night and get her attention.

Her: “You need something?”
You: “Nah. We’re on our way out, and I just wanted to say bye.”
Her: “You guys have a good night?”
You: “Yeah, we did. Thanks.”
Her: “Sure”
You: “So what nights do you work?”
Her: “Umm… Thursday and Sunday, sometimes Wednesday and Friday”
You: “Huh. So if I were to stop by to see you, which would be best?”
Her: “Definitely Thursday or Sunday”
You: “Well, I might stop by then” and start toward the door
Her: “My name’s A”
You: “Yeah, I got that earlier”, or nod toward her tag or whatever
Her: “What’s your name?”
You: “B”
Her: “Nice to meet you B” – she extends her hand and you shake
You: “I’ll see you around”
Give her a small hug, smile, and leave.

You don’t ask for her number. You build some interest, you tease her a bit, you offer her the possibility of seeing you again, you build some body language and rapport, and then you leave her wanting more. You make her ask for YOUR name, you make her want to know you, not the other way around.

Sure, you opened the conversation, but you made her do the work.[/quote]

NEVER hit on a girl while she is at work if she works in the service industry. Like EVER EVER EVER. She’ll lead you along and milk you for tips making you think there is something going on. You ever see that South Park episode with Raisins?

In the past I have dated two girls that I met where they worked, a Bartender downtown and a winghouse server. Both times they had a co worker come up to me and tell me they were interested and to go talk to them. Unless you are getting a third party invite do not fall for the bait. They girls work for tips for a living, and if they are the slightest bit cute they know how to work men like OP(no offesne Jake) for tip money.

194

[quote]Waittz wrote:
In the past I have dated two girls that I met where they worked, a Bartender downtown and a winghouse server. [/quote]

Please tell me you dated a Ker’s Winghouse girl.

195

[quote]GrizzlyBerg wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:
In the past I have dated two girls that I met where they worked, a Bartender downtown and a winghouse server. [/quote]

Please tell me you dated a Ker’s Winghouse girl. [/quote]

Definitely Tilted Kilt.

196

[quote]Waittz wrote:
NEVER hit on a girl while she is at work if she works in the service industry. Like EVER EVER EVER.[/quote]

That’s probably better advice. I mean, it can be done, but it’s a challenge.

Never saw that one.

Yeah, this. And like I said in my earlier post, you need to differentiate yourself from every other guy she’s doing that to. If you can do that, it’s a different story, but yeah, it takes some work to get there.

A pretty simple test. If you get to the point where she’s the one offering her number to you, wanting you to call her, you’re doing ok. Otherwise, you have no chance.

197

The Raisins episode is hilarious.

198

[quote]GrizzlyBerg wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:
In the past I have dated two girls that I met where they worked, a Bartender downtown and a winghouse server. [/quote]

Please tell me you dated a Ker’s Winghouse girl. [/quote]

Two, first one didnt count because we started dating before she ended up working there. I would actually witness her milk guys while i sat there at the bar some days. The second one ‘picked me up’ by having her friend come to my table where i sat with my buddies watching football and opened up one of the calenders to her month and said “this girl wants your number”. That relationship lasted about a month lol.

Funny thing is I went to an NBA game the other day and low and behold she is one of the dancers for the team. These girls think they are special and worth the effort because they look good in there twenties. Meanwhile they make no money and are needy attention whores. They dont realize there are plenty of good if not better looking women with real jobs and personalities. Moral of the story is dont mess around with girls in the service industry.

199

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]GrizzlyBerg wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:
In the past I have dated two girls that I met where they worked, a Bartender downtown and a winghouse server. [/quote]

Please tell me you dated a Ker’s Winghouse girl. [/quote]

Two, first one didnt count because we started dating before she ended up working there. I would actually witness her milk guys while i sat there at the bar some days. The second one ‘picked me up’ by having her friend come to my table where i sat with my buddies watching football and opened up one of the calenders to her month and said “this girl wants your number”. That relationship lasted about a month lol. Funny thing is I went to an NBA game the other day and low and behold she is one of the dancers for the team. These girls think they are special and worth the effort because they look good in there twenties. Meanwhile they make no money and are needy attention whores. They dont realize there are plenty of good if not better looking women with rith jobs and personalities. Moral of the story is dont mess around with girls in the service industry. [/quote]

I’m assuming the relationships were more physical than it was for their ability to hold an interesting convo.

200

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
To OP, I am very, very for the direction Game is going at the moment, meaning, focusing on building better men, but nobody died, ever, from knowing what a shittest was and how to deal with them.

You need some tools in your toolbox, not just self improvement and a set of balls. [/quote]

This.

OP, once you start consciously recognizing women’s shit tests and learn how to pass them (you’re failing at them, currently), you’ll be golden.

Orion, I didn’t realize the ‘game’ idea was moving in the direction of building better men, mainly because I don’t pay attention to ‘game’ stuff, but if it is actually moving from peacocking with feder boa’s and other such crap to building better men, I’d be interested in any resources you’d recommend. Care to share?[/quote]
RSD.