Some of this advice is gold, some of it’s crap, haha.
First off, read these books:
How to Succeed With Women by Ron Louis and David something…
This mentions, in detail, what a lot of the ‘gold’ advice in here is. (Being a man in charge of his life, sexuality with women, HOW TO GET DATES, what to do on dates, gaining a sense of style, etc.) This would be a good starting point.
Superflirt by Tracy Cox is a basic guide to flirting with women and offers some good basic tips for someone in your position.
Those two books were recommended by a buddy of mine that I ended up reading and worked, but the following were recommended by AngryChicken in the old ‘confession/question’ thread…
Iron John by Robert Bly
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem by… forget.
Mind OS by Paul Dobransky
Those three will really help the most in the long run, but I’d still read those first two first. This is where you develop confidence WITH CONGRUENCE. Confidence without congruence means you’re phony and women smell that shit miles away.
Some other brilliant ones are:
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie, I think…
The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes
Body language books! Most of our communication is done non-verbally through tone of voice, posture, body language, etc. Getting some insight on body language and putting it to practice will give you a huge advantage in talking to anyone.
The Art of Seduction, 48 Laws of Power, Mastery, and 33 Strategies of War all by Robert Green. Fucking incredible books.
Start approaching strangers and getting used to it - not even just girls. Just be social! Any chance you get! Also getting used to being rejected, lol. Talk to girls any chance you can. It’s weird at first, but being friendly and flirtatious with women will eventually become your new way of thinking.
You’re more golden than you even realize, man. A young guy who’s in great shape who just moved to a big city to work a ‘wall street type’ job. Dude, Chicago’s at your fingertips.
Since you’re new in town, use that as a topic to approach women. It’ll give you a bit of leeway with not being the confident “hey, lets go out for drinks. How’s XYZ bar at 8 on friday evening sound?” guy who’s got a plan for everything (as opposed to “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” sorta crap.) It’ll also give you an opportunity to ask her opinion on something (where to go in town) as well as get her talking about herself. If she recommends a restaurant, ask her what she eats there. If she recommends a bar, ask if that’s usually where her and her friends go out. (“yeah, come out with us one night” or “nah, we usually go…”) Then ask her questions about either going out with her and her friends one night OR why she likes going out to whatever place)
JUST KEEP HER TALKING ABOUT HERSELF. Everyone loves talking about themselves, especially women. Also, letting her do the talking while you can your trap shut accomplishes two things: It gives you less opportunity to say something stupid and screw it all up, lol, and it’ll give you a sense of mystery if she doesn’t know too much about you. You’re better off letting your personality unfold with time. (“Oh, you like incorporating Shakespeare quotes into your graffiti in downtown Chicago? Interesting…” “Oh, you do indoor rock climbing once a week? Interesting…”) Stuff like that will keep women on their toes a bit.
How’s your sense of fashion? If you’re working a wall st type job, you have every reason to look sharp as a mothafucka every day. You’re in sick shape, so it’ll be super easy for you to find good fitting clothes and look like a boss. Women like status, it’s proven. One way to get women to perceive you of higher status is to dress well.
If you don’t have a sense of style, get one. Read that fashion advice thread that was on here a while back. Waitzz KILLED it in there. A good wardrobe will impress women as well as giving you a bit of confidence when it comes to approaching them. You don’t have to dress like Ryan Gosling, but develop your own sense of style.
Do you use nootropics? L-theanine is incredible for decreasing anxiety and putting you in a good/positive mood. I take some before I go out. Pretty cheap if you buy it online in powder form, too. This will help you immensely with anxiety at first. It’s great stuff even when it comes to other stuff, but it’s definitely relevant in this situation.
It’s not necessarily that you have to try less, as a matter of fact, you’re going to have to put more effort into dating than you currently are or nothing will change. You just can’t INVEST so much of yourself into it women. When you first start out, the fact that you landed some dates with some good looking women will freak you the fuck out because you invest too much of yourself in it. Once you realize that putting in the effort will make landing dates with hot women a fairly often thing, you won’t invest so much into it. A lot of effort will get you dates, a lot of investment will make you seem needy and women will run. On the other hand, if you invest in yourself (those angrychicken books above), women will sense that, too, and will flock to you.
Have fun with it, dude. Hangin’ out with chicks is mad fun. Even more fun when your dick is inside them. Learn to have fun wherever you go and chicks will come.
All of that said, keep in mind, I’m no Casanova, but I definitely hold my own when it comes to women. And that definitely wasn’t always the case.
Beth is cute as fuuuuuuuhhhhhh
