[quote]MytchBucanan wrote:
I agree with what others have said. Stop using the label of “date”…just pick an activity and ask if she wants to join you. I think the D-word is making you scared. We all have a natural inclination to go out and do something fun like see a movie. Ask if she wants to see it with you. BTW “Gravity” with Sandra Bullock is pretty awesome.[/quote]
I agree with most of what you said but I whole-heartedly believe the 1st date movie thing is a crap shoot. You get no time to talk, already drop almost $30-40 before you do anything interactive with her, and it can be awkward sitting right next to someone you barely know for a 3 hour movie. I’d save this kind of thing for a little further into the dates.
[quote]MytchBucanan wrote:
I agree with what others have said. Stop using the label of “date”…just pick an activity and ask if she wants to join you. I think the D-word is making you scared. We all have a natural inclination to go out and do something fun like see a movie. Ask if she wants to see it with you. BTW “Gravity” with Sandra Bullock is pretty awesome.[/quote]
I agree with most of what you said but I whole-heartedly believe the 1st date movie thing is a crap shoot. You get no time to talk, already drop almost $30-40 before you do anything interactive with her, and it can be awkward sitting right next to someone you barely know for a 3 hour movie. I’d save this kind of thing for a little further into the dates.[/quote]
I agree with that too, for the same reasons.
Heading to a coffee shop works well though. Assuming you offer to pay, you’re not going to end up spending more than $5-7 on her, so it’s inexpensive and informal enough. It can be short if there’s no chemistry – basically, finish the coffee and go – or it can be the start of a great day/night. And it bridges the gap between texting/calling, and actually hanging out in person, without being too formal or too private. Eventually, if/when you’re comfortable together, you can move to increasing levels of privacy, whether on the same date or on future dates.
Well, if it helps, I was the awkward jacked guy my entire college career, until I was married.
I just stood around at parties drinking beer, talking to my friends, and looking at the girls from the corner of my eyes. I always was too painfully shy to approach girls. A lot of it was my accent, I think. I was very embarassed speaking English. I’d have to get get completely ripped to talk to girls, and then it was girls who literally threw themselves at me, such that even I could get the clue.
[quote]theBeth wrote:
I don’t really have any advice since I don’t know you or your foibles but here’s my take. I won’t date a man I don’t know. I don’t date men I meet when I go out. If I give someone my number it’s usually because I’m drunk and I don’t mean it. And I don’t answer the calls or texts after. I don’t date dudes at the gym. I’m an utter failure at relationships when I do have them.
That being said, the most attractive quality in a man is absolute confidence. Fake it until you feel it. Carry yourself like you have it. Evaluate your internal values and stick to what’s important to you with unwavering fortitude. That’s the filter that will protect you from the cunts with BPD. Trust me, not dating is better than the alternative sometimes.
I have an awful lot of hobbies and have found that to be a good way to meet people. Also, church. But only if you mean it.[/quote]
are you attractive? if you’re gross I doubt anyone honestly cares[/quote]
KABOOM!!! Holymac is back.
she’s a butch lesbian with short hair and thick neck (srsly)[/quote]
[quote]tonypluto wrote:
It’s just like falling asleep
the harder you try
the less likely it is to happen.
Best advice on dating I ever got was to stop trying.
Stop worrying about it altogether.
Focus on your own life and accomplishing other goals.
Women like men who are ambitious and outgoing.
The more experiences and accomplishments you have under your belt
the more attractive and interesting you will be
as well as having greater confidence from having an incredible life.
In short
Be the person you’d like to have in your life
and then you will have that person in your life[/quote]
[quote]Cprimero wrote:
she’s a butch lesbian with short hair and thick neck (srsly)[/quote]
She’s definitely not butch lol. She’s fuckin cute. And if you think she has “a thick neck” then I pity the pencil that must be holding up your head. We’ll never know though, because unlike holymac you’re just one more dude on this site with no evidence whatsoever that you’ve ever lifted a day in your life.
[quote]MytchBucanan wrote:
I agree with what others have said. Stop using the label of “date”…just pick an activity and ask if she wants to join you. I think the D-word is making you scared. We all have a natural inclination to go out and do something fun like see a movie. Ask if she wants to see it with you. BTW “Gravity” with Sandra Bullock is pretty awesome.[/quote]
I agree with most of what you said but I whole-heartedly believe the 1st date movie thing is a crap shoot. You get no time to talk, already drop almost $30-40 before you do anything interactive with her, and it can be awkward sitting right next to someone you barely know for a 3 hour movie. I’d save this kind of thing for a little further into the dates.[/quote]
That’s a good point. The movie example was just something I pulled out of my head. I have had some good first dates with a movie. But I was lucky enough to find one she really wanted to see.
[quote]tonypluto wrote:
It’s just like falling asleep
the harder you try
the less likely it is to happen.
Best advice on dating I ever got was to stop trying.
Stop worrying about it altogether.
Focus on your own life and accomplishing other goals.
Women like men who are ambitious and outgoing.
The more experiences and accomplishments you have under your belt
the more attractive and interesting you will be
as well as having greater confidence from having an incredible life.
In short
Be the person you’d like to have in your life
and then you will have that person in your life[/quote]
Best advice yet…[/quote]
no its terrible advice. OP is 26 and done with college. He has a career. He needs to go on dates so he can develop dating skills and social skills and gain experience and confidence. And get laid if he wants. He does not need to open a business or travel the world to date women
[quote]tonypluto wrote:
It’s just like falling asleep
the harder you try
the less likely it is to happen.
Best advice on dating I ever got was to stop trying.
Stop worrying about it altogether.
Focus on your own life and accomplishing other goals.
Women like men who are ambitious and outgoing.
The more experiences and accomplishments you have under your belt
the more attractive and interesting you will be
as well as having greater confidence from having an incredible life.
In short
Be the person you’d like to have in your life
and then you will have that person in your life[/quote]
Best advice yet…[/quote]
no its terrible advice. OP is 26 and done with college. He has a career. He needs to go on dates so he can develop dating skills and social skills and gain experience and confidence. And get laid if he wants. He does not need to open a business or travel the world to date women
And OP since you don’t have a type you don’t know what personality characteristics you want in a girl. it takes time. date different types, don’t settle for a girl who just has common interests with you right away.
[/quote]
I don’t disagree, but I think the point TonyPluto is making, is that those dates or more likely to happen (and go smoothly) if you don’t try so hard. I made the same mistakes when I was younger. I agree with you on the dating skills and experience for sure.
[quote]MytchBucanan wrote:
I agree with what others have said. Stop using the label of “date”…just pick an activity and ask if she wants to join you. I think the D-word is making you scared. We all have a natural inclination to go out and do something fun like see a movie. Ask if she wants to see it with you. BTW “Gravity” with Sandra Bullock is pretty awesome.[/quote]
I agree with most of what you said but I whole-heartedly believe the 1st date movie thing is a crap shoot. You get no time to talk, already drop almost $30-40 before you do anything interactive with her, and it can be awkward sitting right next to someone you barely know for a 3 hour movie. I’d save this kind of thing for a little further into the dates.[/quote]
^^^^^^No movie, wait until a later date. Unless its a super hero movie or something along those lines… and of course you both love that kinda thing. I stayed away from movies when I was dating.
[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
Well, if it helps, I was the awkward jacked guy my entire college career, until I was married.
I just stood around at parties drinking beer, talking to my friends, and looking at the girls from the corner of my eyes. I always was too painfully shy to approach girls. A lot of it was my accent, I think. I was very embarassed speaking English. I’d have to get get completely ripped to talk to girls, and then it was girls who literally threw themselves at me, such that even I could get the clue.
Anyway, even I found someone. So you have hope.[/quote]
What you and OP wrote are helping to point out to any newcomers to this site - being muscular won’t mask any insecurities you have when it comes to seeking out poon.
[quote]Cprimero wrote:
she’s a butch lesbian with short hair and thick neck (srsly)[/quote]
She’s definitely not butch lol. She’s fuckin cute. And if you think she has “a thick neck” then I pity the pencil that must be holding up your head. We’ll never know though, because unlike holymac you’re just one more dude on this site with no evidence whatsoever that you’ve ever lifted a day in your life.[/quote]
i dont understand the fascination with chicks and texting. I’m not going to have a conversation with you through my phones keypad, that’s fucking stupid.
[quote]tonypluto wrote:
It’s just like falling asleep
the harder you try
the less likely it is to happen.
Best advice on dating I ever got was to stop trying.
Stop worrying about it altogether.
Focus on your own life and accomplishing other goals.
Women like men who are ambitious and outgoing.
The more experiences and accomplishments you have under your belt
the more attractive and interesting you will be
as well as having greater confidence from having an incredible life.
In short
Be the person you’d like to have in your life
and then you will have that person in your life[/quote]
Best advice yet…[/quote]
no its terrible advice. OP is 26 and done with college. He has a career. He needs to go on dates so he can develop dating skills and social skills and gain experience and confidence. And get laid if he wants. He does not need to open a business or travel the world to date women
And OP since you don’t have a type you don’t know what personality characteristics you want in a girl. it takes time. date different types, don’t settle for a girl who just has common interests with you right away.
[/quote]
I don’t disagree, but I think the point TonyPluto is making, is that those dates or more likely to happen (and go smoothly) if you don’t try so hard. I made the same mistakes when I was younger. I agree with you on the dating skills and experience for sure.[/quote]
Swap “don’t try” for “don’t be dependent on the outcome” and it’s great advice. Unless a guy gets approached by women all the time he will have to make an effort to go out and get dates.
I’m having some success with online dating at the moment. Give it a try: from what I hear in the States it’s a gold mine.
The more dates you go on the better an idea you’ll have of what exactly you want in a woman as well.
[quote]Cprimero wrote:
she’s a butch lesbian with short hair and thick neck (srsly)[/quote]
She’s definitely not butch lol. She’s fuckin cute. And if you think she has “a thick neck” then I pity the pencil that must be holding up your head. We’ll never know though, because unlike holymac you’re just one more dude on this site with no evidence whatsoever that you’ve ever lifted a day in your life.[/quote]
I agree about Beth being cute. She’s an athletic pretty, very wholesome and outdoorsy looking.
I don’t see “butch” at all. Butch lesbians intimidate me, but I would totally hang out with Beth.
[quote]Cprimero wrote:
she’s a butch lesbian with short hair and thick neck (srsly)[/quote]
She’s definitely not butch lol. She’s fuckin cute. And if you think she has “a thick neck” then I pity the pencil that must be holding up your head. We’ll never know though, because unlike holymac you’re just one more dude on this site with no evidence whatsoever that you’ve ever lifted a day in your life.[/quote]
I agree about Beth being cute. She’s an athletic pretty, very wholesome and outdoorsy looking.
I don’t see “butch” at all. Butch lesbians intimidate me, but I would totally hang out with Beth.[/quote]
Summation: She ain’t butch.
