[quote]super saiyan wrote:
http://tnation.T-Nation.com/free_online_forum/pictures_pics_photo_body_rate_image_performance/bulk_progress_1[/quote]
I agree nice gluteus maximimus you have there. How much you deadlift/squat ;P? Being serious now, I would say think it over very very hard, but I would say cut the bastard off it is in my opinion unforgivable for someone to let your own son and wife starve, but give money to friends for them to waste.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Not sure whether you need to cut him out of your life…probably not…but you do need to lower your expectations. He’s got limitations, obviously. Wanting to ensure the old guy’s pizza indicates that your dad has good qualities (kindness). You, your future kids, etc, just need to understand that he’s not reliable and doesn’t keep promises. Enjoy him when he’s around and focused, but don’t look for more.
[/quote]
I think “kindness” is a nice way of looking at it.
If that was not the father of his current master he probably would not have thrown a can of dog food through the window.
[quote]yolo84 wrote:
Skimmed thread, the word pizza seemed to come up an awful lot.
Any cliff notes without all of the ???pizza???pizza???pizza???[/quote]
His father sucks at the whole fathering thing.
[quote]AccipiterQ wrote:
Thanks everyone; I appreciate it. A lot of times I look at how he acts towards family, and then how I do and I can’t believe I’m related to him. [/quote]
I know guys like your dad. I am closing in on 45 and have two sons myself (18 and 9) and am stunned more often then not about behavior of other fathers. That said, some men are damaged and will never get it till (and it is still a maybe) someone sits them down and face to face tells them how, what they are doing, is affecting them.
If I may suggest…drive to visit him and sit him down. Tell him this simple thing:
“For my birthday I was really looking forward to seeing you. Apparently you did not feel the same. You know, pretty much my whole life you have chosen others over me and quite fucking frankly you have have broken my heart. I would prefer this to be the last fucking time you did this because no matter what I love you and want you in my life. If however you persist in this shit, this is the last time you are ever going to seem me. So, what’s it gonna be dad?”
If you don’t do anything and just cut him out or if you leave the situation as is, you are going to have this ‘itch’ in the back of your mind you cannot scratch. What I am trying to say is…do something about it and whatever it is…Good Luck.
On one hand your dad pretty mcuh sucks.
On the other hand you are 31 and at that point your birthday should be pretty much like any other day so rescheduling shouldn’t be that big of a deal.
[quote]JoeGood wrote:
On one hand your dad pretty mcuh sucks.
On the other hand you are 31 and at that point your birthday should be pretty much like any other day so rescheduling shouldn’t be that big of a deal. [/quote]
This is what I was thinking. At some point you gotta realize your birthday is just a day, not a national holiday where everyone pays attention to you and you will finally get that pony you always wanted.
OP, I know this sucks but your dad sounds like a loser. You need to move past him and do your own thing.
I’ve got a deadbeat dad so I know the feeling. I called him on my 18th birthday and told him I never wanted to speak to him again. It’s been almost 12 years now and I couldn’t be happier.
Sorry to hear about your crappy situation… Don’t lay that turd drag you down.
[quote]PeteS wrote:
[quote]JoeGood wrote:
On one hand your dad pretty mcuh sucks.
On the other hand you are 31 and at that point your birthday should be pretty much like any other day so rescheduling shouldn’t be that big of a deal. [/quote]
This is what I was thinking. At some point you gotta realize your birthday is just a day, not a national holiday where everyone pays attention to you and you will finally get that pony you always wanted. [/quote]
x3
You’re 31 man. Grab dinner with your friends/wife/girlfriend and if family happens to be in town great. If not? Oh well.
Also, is your uncle in jail yet? Srs question cause if not you need to call the police.
[quote]PeteS wrote:
[quote]JoeGood wrote:
On one hand your dad pretty mcuh sucks.
On the other hand you are 31 and at that point your birthday should be pretty much like any other day so rescheduling shouldn’t be that big of a deal. [/quote]
This is what I was thinking. At some point you gotta realize your birthday is just a day, not a national holiday where everyone pays attention to you and you will finally get that pony you always wanted. [/quote]
I agree, Also I wonder if the OP visits his Dad on his birthday.
Thanks for all the replies; I have a great group of friends, heading out in a minute to see some for my bday. Couple quick notes:
My uncle is in jail. My grandfather actually paid 100s of thousands of dollars to try and have the evidence disallowed. The evidence? 1000s (thousands) of hours of video of my uncle raping children mostly under the age of 4. My grandfather knew this, and tried to get it overturned anyway. Fucking whackjobs.
I do visit my dad, frequently; he even noted that it’s almost always me going out there to see him, and not the other way around
Dang man, that’s rough.
Glad that it looks like your day is turning around. Happy B Day
[quote]AccipiterQ wrote:
Sometimes people are incapable of processing the truth. Shit like this would have me believe there is quite a bit of denial on their part.
Just look at Jerry Sanduskys wife, she thinks the kids are trying to frame him.
You sound like my son when he talks about his mother…he is 13 though and not 31.
[photo]37502[/photo]
[quote]gregron wrote:
OP, I know this sucks but your dad sounds like a loser. You need to move past him and do your own thing.
I’ve got a deadbeat dad so I know the feeling. I called him on my 18th birthday and told him I never wanted to speak to him again. It’s been almost 12 years now and I couldn’t be happier.
Sorry to hear about your crappy situation… Don’t lay that turd drag you down.[/quote]
A little bit of a personal question…You didn’t invite him to your wedding?
[quote]AccipiterQ wrote:
Thanks for all the replies; I have a great group of friends, heading out in a minute to see some for my bday. Couple quick notes:
My uncle is in jail. My grandfather actually paid 100s of thousands of dollars to try and have the evidence disallowed. The evidence? 1000s (thousands) of hours of video of my uncle raping children mostly under the age of 4. My grandfather knew this, and tried to get it overturned anyway. Fucking whackjobs.
I do visit my dad, frequently; he even noted that it’s almost always me going out there to see him, and not the other way around
[/quote]
Wow dude, the men in your family really sound mentally ill, your father included. How could you bare looking at the guy who gave money out to friends while his family starved? A normal person wouldn’t.
You may be exaggerating things and I may have the wrong context, but if not, cut them all out of your life, see a therapist to get yourself checked out, and hope that some shitty genes that didn’t affect you don’t pass on to your future sons.
Good luck in the rest of your life.
[quote]AccipiterQ wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Not sure whether you need to cut him out of your life…probably not…but you do need to lower your expectations. He’s got limitations, obviously. Wanting to ensure the old guy’s pizza indicates that your dad has good qualities (kindness). You, your future kids, etc, just need to understand that he’s not reliable and doesn’t keep promises. Enjoy him when he’s around and focused, but don’t look for more.
[/quote]
not a bad idea; work within the limitations he presents.
I probably should’ve noted in the OP it’s less about devotion to other people and more about avoiding family/family responsibilities/having no inclination as to what those would even be. He’s always had that streak in him, he’ll let his family starve, and not understand why it’s a big deal that he’s giving away things to other people in the meantime.
When I was growing up for example we were poor, dirt poor. My mom ate once per day so I could eat an extra meal type of poor. Turns out my dad was keeping a secret bank account that he was giving money to friends out of. His wife is starving, his kid is malnourished…and he’s stealing money from his family to give to people that are blowing it on scratch tickets. Given that things like that were commonplace I’m not sure why I ever had expectations that he’d suddenly ‘get it’ as I hit my late 20s & early 30s. [/quote]
That is beyond absurd. You don’t need that kind of trash in your life.
Keeping him around while lowering your expectations will just lead to alot of resentment. Everytime you think of something that a NORMAL human being would do for a friend, never less a SON, and you don’t bother to ask because he doesnt give a shit, will lead to pain.
Why bother keep that around? Fuck him.
You have the most impressive butt on T-Nation.
I’m sure you have over 400 on your DL now.
You can’t have everything. 
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
You have the most impressive butt on T-Nation.
I’m sure you have over 400 on your DL now.
You can’t have everything.
[/quote]
515 haha
[quote]AccipiterQ wrote:
How could there be multiple THOUSANDS of hours?
How did he get away with that?
Surely you are exaggerating alot?
Either way you should disown all of your family. If I were you I wouldn’t have kids of my own either. Grandfather uncle and Dad all major fucked up freaks.