Curves!

Off Topic
21

Building on what Roadwarrior and some other have said…

o Get off of her back! Nothing makes you chow down on tubs of ice cream like someone telling you that your dietary habits suck.

o Be proactive in a non-confrontational way! Find sneaky ways to fit good food and light activity into your lives. Hell, surprise her with a meal you know she’ll enjoy, but make sure it is all healthy. Alternately, instead of you exercising and her sitting on the couch, why don’t both of you go for a walk and do some window shopping?

I know, I know, the window shopping sucks ass. However, she’ll probably really enjoy boring you to tears while she ogles countless varieties of shoes and dresses.

The point is, stop making it a confrontation and sort of ease into it without it being anything in particular. You can start doing the cooking two or three times a week and just be pitching in, especially if it doesn’t come with a lecture.

The two of you can do things together that involve light duty exercise just don’t get too anal if she decides to opt for a frozen yogurt or something while to the of you are doing it.

Also, the women here have a good point, introduce her to a fit women. Maybe PM one or two here who haven’t turned into the hulk overnight and see if they would be willing to discuss diet and nutrition with your wife. People often get the idea that only people like them can have useful knowledge for their own situation – and no matter how much you read here, you won’t get credit for it in this lifetime, at least from her.

P.S. Don’t feed the troll’s trying to hijack the thread…

22

[quote]dollarbill44 wrote:
My view is that most people in the US are lazy and don’t want to accept responsibility for the way they are. That’s why there is so much sugar-coating (pardon the pun) of obesity these days. No one wants to look in the mirror and admit that they eat tremendous amounts of shit and do nothing but watch TV where all these “experts” are telling them that its not their faults because they have a hormonal imbalance or some other problem, that 9/10 times these problems are caused by the obesity rather than the cause.
[/quote]

You said it perfect!

-Machine

23

[quote]RoadWarrior wrote:
Offer to either cook meals or help. This hopefully will get her diet in order to start. For exercise try walking, riding bikes etc. to start. Alot of women (and men for that matter) don’t naturally take to lifting weights. Go slowly and try to make exercise fun.

[/quote]

I can and will offer to cook. It is a great idea.

The exercise suggestions are also great and I will try to incorporate.

Thanks!

-Machine

24

This may be incredibly rude but I can’t resist. Keep in mind I’m 19 years old and am genuinely confused about this:
Why the heck doesn’t she have any respect for your opinion? Aren’t you husband and wife?!

[quote]machine514 wrote:
I told her that it was a bad plan. You are making diets up on your own. You are not an expert. You are going to starve youself on this diet. That is going to make you feel like crap and really weak. And then you are going to fail. So she wanted to know when I became the diet expert.

How can I get T-Nation info across to her? I try to lead by example and I get no response. When she is on the couch watching TV I read and read or exercise.

I have tried to get her to read some motivational information from Dan John and Charles Staley.[/quote]

25

[quote]vroom wrote:
o Get off of her back! Nothing makes you chow down on tubs of ice cream like someone telling you that your dietary habits suck.
[/quote]

So it is my fault. I guess too much pressure can drive people to failure. The reason why I tried to work it that way is because that is how I am. If someone tells me that I can not do something, then I work to do it and ten times better.

[quote]vroom wrote:
o Be proactive in a non-confrontational way! Find sneaky ways to fit good food and light activity into your lives. Hell, surprise her with a meal you know she’ll enjoy, but make sure it is all healthy.
[/quote]

I can and will try.

[quote]vroom wrote:
Alternately, instead of you exercising and her sitting on the couch, why don’t both of you go for a walk and do some window shopping?
[/quote]

Because she will make us both broke.

[quote]vroom wrote:
I know, I know, the window shopping sucks ass. However, she’ll probably really enjoy boring you to tears while she ogles countless varieties of shoes and dresses.

The point is, stop making it a confrontation and sort of ease into it without it being anything in particular. You can start doing the cooking two or three times a week and just be pitching in, especially if it doesn’t come with a lecture.

The two of you can do things together that involve light duty exercise just don’t get too anal if she decides to opt for a frozen yogurt or something while to the of you are doing it.

Also, the women here have a good point, introduce her to a fit women. Maybe PM one or two here who haven’t turned into the hulk overnight and see if they would be willing to discuss diet and nutrition with your wife. People often get the idea that only people like them can have useful knowledge for their own situation – and no matter how much you read here, you won’t get credit for it in this lifetime, at least from her.
[/quote]

I appreciate the advise and will use it.

Thanks!

[quote]vroom wrote:
P.S. Don’t feed the troll’s trying to hijack the thread…[/quote]

Sorry the thread got a bit off topic.

-Machine

26

[quote]NateN wrote:
This may be incredibly rude but I can’t resist. Keep in mind I’m 19 years old and am genuinely confused about this:
Why the heck doesn’t she have any respect for your opinion? Aren’t you husband and wife?!

machine514 wrote:
I told her that it was a bad plan. You are making diets up on your own. You are not an expert. You are going to starve youself on this diet. That is going to make you feel like crap and really weak. And then you are going to fail. So she wanted to know when I became the diet expert.

How can I get T-Nation info across to her? I try to lead by example and I get no response. When she is on the couch watching TV I read and read or exercise.

I have tried to get her to read some motivational information from Dan John and Charles Staley.
[/quote]

Ha ha, let’s just say “familiarity breeds contempt.” :slight_smile:

27

[quote]NateN wrote:
This may be incredibly rude but I can’t resist. Keep in mind I’m 19 years old and am genuinely confused about this:
Why the heck doesn’t she have any respect for your opinion? Aren’t you husband and wife?![/quote]

How much respect do your parents have for your opinion? How much respect do you (really, truly) have for your parents’, or for your siblings’, or even for your friends’? Most people really don’t care that much about what other people think we should do, and that probably extends into marriage, as well.

28

[quote]NateN wrote:
This may be incredibly rude but I can’t resist. Keep in mind I’m 19 years old and am genuinely confused about this:
Why the heck doesn’t she have any respect for your opinion? Aren’t you husband and wife?!
[/quote]

Thanks NateN. I have been trying to point that out to her for some time. But this is a very complicated topic. I’ll try to break it down.

We some how figured out that it’s the way that I suggest things, i.e. my communication skills. I am usually cut and dry and do not beat around the bush. I have to learn to communicate better or on a different level.

If you are to be married make sure that you have this set.

-Machine

29

Ah, never thought of it like that.

Although, if my brother/mother/father talks about his/her area of expertise, I don’t question.

[quote]nephorm wrote:
How much respect do your parents have for your opinion? How much respect do you (really, truly) have for your parents’, or for your siblings’, or even for your friends’? Most people really don’t care that much about what other people think we should do, and that probably extends into marriage, as well. [/quote]

30

[quote]911 Girl wrote:
Okay, I have to rant. Since this is remotely physically related I’ll post it here. I’ve been doing some volunteer work at a local church which is situated next to one of these 30 minutes 3 times a week look like a goddess in under a year places. I hadn’t really paid much attention to the place before, other than to know several of the overweight gals I work with go there and they can’t figure out why they are still overweight. They have recently decided that if they eat nothing but Lean Cuisines and Slim Fast they might be able to squeeze themselves into the same size pants as they wore when they started working here 3 years ago. I digress and that is a whole other rant.

I was shovelling gravel into the kiddy playground area for the church watching these fat ladies waddle into this “fitness center” and waddle back out 30 minutes later without any sign of having done anything. I was curious so when I finished my task I went to check the place out. Albeit, when you’re overweight any movement is going to cause some weight loss. They were selling that their clients never needed to workout for more than 30 minutes 3 times a week to achieve results that still ellude me after a year of hard work. I can’t wait for this fad to go away. It is a fad, right?

It defies all that I’ve ever been told about getting and staying healthy. They hop on these machines and then walk in place on a pad moving when the TV tells them to. Watching the pace I wouldn’t come even close to a target HR and they state emphatically that the workout should never exceed 30 minutes 3 times a week. No wonder the cackling women at work haven’t dropped a pound or inch in weeks. They are all standing around complaining about it. Meanwhile, I’m shopping for new work pants now that I’ve shrunk out of the last new ones I brought six months ago.

Any sales pitch that starts with you don’t have to work hard to look great is definitely suspect in my book. On a side note 30 min of movement is better than none I suppose. What I hate to think of is the discouragement they will experience when they don’t reach a goal they’ve been told they will be able to obtain with this never changing program. [/quote]

I feel the same way you do & have often wondered about the validity of their claims. But I guess if some women are genuinely trying to better themselves. instead of this being a social club, that’s better than doing nothing.

31

I agree that some activity is better than nothing. In this day and age I have to think about that when I have a “lag” day at the gym…you know, we’ve all had them where you’re just not motivated. Anyway, if I cut my workout short by a few minutes, ten or so, that’s fine becuase I work out 6 days a week and that allows me to have “lag” days once in a while.

I have two points:

-You have to give these people credit who are at least trying…even if it is only 30 minutes 3 times a week, that’s way more than most of society. You have to keep in mind that not everybody has the same workout mentality you do. And they’re entitled to that.

-My second point is the most disturbing. These franchises are more of a statement of our society and our Western Philosophy. Everything is as fast as it can be, with as little effort. Society as a whole, is LAZY. We want everything NOW and EASY. That’s why we have 15 second commercials, drive through everythings, and the attention spans of 3 year olds. The scary part is it just seems to keep getting worse and we’re never satisfied. Which is why those places exist…simply because society asks for it. Supply and demand. So until WWIII happens and we all have to go back to living as cave people, there will be instant gratification, cell phones, PDA’s, email, and Curves.

32

Sometimes at my gym, when I put my ear to the ground, I think I can hear the great buffalo roaming the plains from years ago. It always turns out to be the fat chicks from the women’s gym (called Gal’s)on the third floor.

Sometimes they venture downstairs to the weightroom - a sea of pasty thighs and cellulite, mounds of fat heaving up and down in unison as they move. But you will never see them doing this alone. They find strength in numbers. A great herd of beasts migrates down to the pull up/dip station where they divide into groups of three. One of these land monsters will get into position to do a pull up with the two others helping her get her feet up onto the dip bars. It’s a three-man effort; 2 buffalo push and one does the pull up.(Ok, I will give them this: at least they’re trying pull ups.)

I have to say that my gym has changed for the worse after the new owner decided to make it more mainstream. It used to be considered hard-core before I got there and was still a great place when I started there a couple years back. But I’m told it was the most positive place to train whre everyone knew each other.
The addition of a woman’s gym was completely out of line with what the gym used to be. Everything is toned down; there’s no more aggressiveness. The T has been sucked out of the place. Brutal.

33

My girl was on a bad path too. She was still looking good, but I could see her putting on some fat.

Imagine my surprise when I looked down one day and saw that I had too. So we started it together. We eat meals together. She’s not keen on more than 4 meals a day, so in my other two I come up and make her take a bite or two, just to get something in her.

We just got back from the park. We did some HIIT sessions at the local high school and then took our dog to the dog park.

Working together is more fun. It’s bringing us closer and we’re reinforcing each others efforts.

That’s what worked for us. Whatever you do, be as encouraging as possible and NEVER say “you will fail”. Try to be positive like “it’s good that you’re thinking about this stuff, have you considered this?”

Just my 2c.

34

What blows my mind about the gals where I work is they will consume Krispy Kremes and the monthly birthday cake one of them brings in because well they are all going to Curves later. They can’t believe that I’m looking like I am and “eating all the time”. I’m like “yeah, but not on donuts, chocolate, and Lean Cuisines daily!”

Glad to hear of at least one success story.

Machine- you can lead a horse to water…I don’t have any advice for you. IMHO anything you do in relation to exercise or diet will be subject to interpretation of an unsavory nature. Good luck.

35

Machine-

You are in the same boat I am. My wife doesn’t want to hear it. She wants change but she doesn’t want to do anything different. It comes down to committment.

My advice to you is not to push the right way to eat on her. I tried that and all we did was fight. Then I tried to train her and all we did was fight. That makes for a rough relationship

I know you are going to ask, so what do I do?

Man, I DON’T KNOW.

36

Well, my 2 cents. I have an inlaw who works at one and and have worked with a few women who used to belong. It is a good starting point for those who would never belong to Golds or Bally’s or others because they are so self conscious and intimidated. A few problems with them: 1. They advertise for staff persons - “no experience necessary, will train”. 2. The machines lack negative resistance. You press then pull back. Wow! you work chest and back on one machine! Cool! ; ) 3. The tension/tempo is awful. I’ve had to re-educate them on how to feel the resistance and range of motion. But, if it’s a choice of not doing anything or Curves, Curves it is. On the other hand, someone started “Cuts” for men! Same set up as Curves but for out of shape middle aged men. Back to work…

37

[quote]911 Girl wrote:
What blows my mind about the gals where I work is they will consume Krispy Kremes and the monthly birthday cake one of them brings in because well they are all going to Curves later. They can’t believe that I’m looking like I am and “eating all the time”. I’m like “yeah, but not on donuts, chocolate, and Lean Cuisines daily!”
[/quote]

A little education in this area could probably help these people!

[quote]911 Girl wrote:
Machine- you can lead a horse to water…I don’t have any advice for you. IMHO anything you do in relation to exercise or diet will be subject to interpretation of an unsavory nature. Good luck.
[/quote]

That’s ok.

-Machine

38

[quote]dvldog wrote:
Machine-

You are in the same boat I am. My wife doesn’t want to hear it. She wants change but she doesn’t want to do anything different. It comes down to committment.

My advice to you is not to push the right way to eat on her. I tried that and all we did was fight. Then I tried to train her and all we did was fight. That makes for a rough relationship

I know you are going to ask, so what do I do?

Man, I DON’T KNOW. [/quote]

That’s ok. All of the advise for this thread is great. After my wife and I fought earlier this week we had a sit down and talked about why I am so into fitness.

My explanation is that I am constantly preparing for the future. I look at my family and see that when I was growing up, they were inactive. Now in old(er) age my family is still inactive and can not do anything too physical. I want to attempt to prevent this from happening to me (or lessen the effects of old age).

In addition, my wife and I plan to make babies. And if she thinks now that it is hard to lose weight, just think about when after the babies come! In addition, I want her to be strong for the child bearing times. I feel that it will make things easy on both her and I.

-Machine

39

I think you’re on the right track here. You need to keep emphasizing the future and what it means to be in shape now. De-emphasize the aesthetics of fitness as she might see it as selfishness on your part and keep stressing that you want a happy old wife some day that can enjoy your retirement with, rather than having to spend your days looking for a new woman because your wife has died from heart disease/diabetes/whatever. I’m sure I could have put it better, but I’m just giving the direction I think you need to head in. If there’s anything i’ve learned from 13 years of marriage, its that if you want something from your spouse, you have to find a way to make it an attractive proposition to her. No doubt about it, it’s hard work and you are in for a lot of it, but the rewards will be well worth it.

Good luck,
DB

[quote]machine514 wrote:
dvldog wrote:
Machine-

You are in the same boat I am. My wife doesn’t want to hear it. She wants change but she doesn’t want to do anything different. It comes down to committment.

My advice to you is not to push the right way to eat on her. I tried that and all we did was fight. Then I tried to train her and all we did was fight. That makes for a rough relationship

I know you are going to ask, so what do I do?

Man, I DON’T KNOW.

That’s ok. All of the advise for this thread is great. After my wife and I fought earlier this week we had a sit down and talked about why I am so into fitness.

My explanation is that I am constantly preparing for the future. I look at my family and see that when I was growing up, they were inactive. Now in old(er) age my family is still inactive and can not do anything too physical. I want to attempt to prevent this from happening to me (or lessen the effects of old age).

In addition, my wife and I plan to make babies. And if she thinks now that it is hard to lose weight, just think about when after the babies come! In addition, I want her to be strong for the child bearing times. I feel that it will make things easy on both her and I.

-Machine[/quote]

40

Ironically, this thread has confirmed the fear of many people (especially women)…and has explained why these places have become so popular…

What it has confirmed is that people (again, especially women) were fearful of going to most gyms because they felt like they were being judged…and judged harshly…

Look, guys…I’m no fan of these places…I think that they represent American Marketing at it’s worst (or BEST if you have the Bank Account of the owners!) in that they sell more of a promise and a dream, mixed with a lot of Oprah, more than any type of effective programs…

But hey…it’s America…and the places weren’t meant for men like me anyway!

Mufasa