Creepy Guys in Class

[Patch2]

[quote]jtrinsey wrote:
(a) Why are you so obsessed with this guy?[/quote]

I didn’t mean for this thread to be about a specific individual, more of a concept, and the individual provided an easy example.

quote I think the “you can tell a lot about somebody by how they roll” bit is tough to say. One guy at one gym I train at is a low-level pro MMA guy and has some submission grappling wins. He’s extremely explosive in his grappling and very strong. I’ve only been training BJJ for about a month, so needless to say we are on two different levels. When we roll, he doesn’t show me any mercy. In the beginning, it was to the point where I couldn’t even mount a coherent defense before he overwhelmed me and choked me out in 5 seconds. If you looked at the way that guy treated me (and some other new guys) when we roll, you would call him an asshole and say it wasn’t helping anybody.

But the thing is, after a couple weeks of that, I’ve started to adjust. I’m getting used to the speed and violence that he attacks with. Often, I still fuck up some technique and get tapped in 5 seconds. But, every now and then, I see what he’s going for and am able to defend. A couple times recently I have even been able to improve position or attempt some offense before getting submitted. After class, he’ll tell me what I messed up or what I need to work on to not get swept a certain way or not give up a certain choke.

So, just based on watching that guy roll, you might call him an asshole, but the bottom line is that I’m getting so much better from rolling with him. When I roll with some other guys, shit seems to be in slow motion because I’ve trained at such a violent pace with him. [/quote]

What’d you think he’s getting out of rolling hard with you? Maybe I’m just not seeing it, but what’s the benefit in constantly dominating someone you know you’re better than?

I occasionally go to a gym that has a heavy weight low level pro MMA guy, and unless he’s gearing up for a fight, or trying to break an asshole, he doesn’t train ground work like that.

[quote]I think it also depends on the environment of your gym. As a student, I think it’s good to roll with lots of different guys and, if possible, in more than one gym. One gym that I train at is a much more relaxed atmosphere and very technique focused. The other is much more violent in it’s approach and it is harder to try new techniques sometimes because you are just worried about not getting crushed. [quote]

I do the same thing, but I rarely roll at the latter.

And of course, different guys in the same gym have different approaches. I think it can be valuable training with the relaxed, technical guy as it gives you a chance to try new things and see things developing and also understand the threat that can be posed by someone with excellent technique and positioning. On the other hand, if you never train with a “violent sparrer,” then you can freeze up and get surprised by the explosiveness and pace that some people go with. If you get overwhelmed by a frenzied attack, you never get the chance to use your technique. So I think there’s always something that can be learned.

Maybe I need to roll with violent guys more, this thread is making me wonder if I’m just being a pussy about it. I’ve been through my share of breaks and sprains though and the cost benefit ratio a doesn’t seem to be in the favor of it. Another popped ribbed doesn’t seem worth proving I can roll hard. I’m thinking I’m not seeing something important that you are. Sometimes I just want to roll and be smashed, so I roll with a violent guy, but I don’t see why it would ever be needed more than for competitions and once in a while to be rooted.

[slimjim]

[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:

 P.S. Debra maybe you wouldn't have to deal with so many creepy guys if you didn't have a picture of yourself wearing such a small amount of clothing as your avatar. But, you do look good in the picture but I have to guess that just draws in the creeps.[/quote]

Dammit…really dude? are you really going to highlight that? really? and then the good looking chicks start taking down their avatars? wtf!

[Miss_Parker]

[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:
Well, I don’t believe we have a hard time understanding creepy. I believe you ladies that use it so much don’t know the proper meaning. Also, if we met the “creepy” guy we wouldn’t say he was creepy, we would probably come closer to what the actual problem is. Like instead of saying “Man, that guy was creepy” we would say " while Jim was in my guard he looked me straight in the eyes and asked if I wanted to play tummy sticks"

 I just love how all the little girls are getting in here and defending their creepy guy descriptions. Deb and MissParker you are 2 of the little girls. 

 P.S. Debra maybe you wouldn't have to deal with so many creepy guys if you didn't have a picture of yourself wearing such a small amount of clothing as your avatar. But, you do look good in the picture but I have to guess that just draws in the creeps.[/quote]

Mcstoots, I know what creepy is, I’m not a little girl, and I’m done being patient with you. I repeat - you are not creepy. However, you are a dick.

Legendaryblaze, yes, a guy continually watching you from his window with an odd smile on his face is creepy as hell.

[jtrinsey]

I always figured that a guy trying to put himself in the “woman feels like somebody’s creepin on her” mindset was like a white person discussing racism. Your points may seem valid to you but ultimately they don’t really matter because it doesn’t affect you.

It would crack me up though if this guy is actually a really nice person and is just misunderstood. I envision him finding out about this thread and sobbing himself to sleep.

[mcstoots082]

[quote]Miss Parker wrote:

[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:
Well, I don’t believe we have a hard time understanding creepy. I believe you ladies that use it so much don’t know the proper meaning. Also, if we met the “creepy” guy we wouldn’t say he was creepy, we would probably come closer to what the actual problem is. Like instead of saying “Man, that guy was creepy” we would say " while Jim was in my guard he looked me straight in the eyes and asked if I wanted to play tummy sticks"

 I just love how all the little girls are getting in here and defending their creepy guy descriptions. Deb and MissParker you are 2 of the little girls. 

 P.S. Debra maybe you wouldn't have to deal with so many creepy guys if you didn't have a picture of yourself wearing such a small amount of clothing as your avatar. But, you do look good in the picture but I have to guess that just draws in the creeps.[/quote]

Mcstoots, I know what creepy is, I’m not a little girl, and I’m done being patient with you. I repeat - you are not creepy. However, you are a dick.

Legendaryblaze, yes, a guy continually watching you from his window with an odd smile on his face is creepy as hell. [/quote]

Well, thank you for noticing that quality in me MissParker. Of course you are not a little girl in your avatar you look to be at least 50 or 60 years old. I have a hard time believing you when you said you trained in BJJ what with the threat of breaking your hips and all. I am j/k yes I tend to be quite dickly.

And come on man if you are jerking off to avatar pictures you need to get a life.

[mcstoots082]

[quote]pch2 wrote:

[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:

[/quote]

Can I ask where you train? If you’d rather not say I understand, but I’m just curious since you’re in Ohio too. [/quote]

Well I started out in my basement with Mario Sperry videotapes. Then I trained at a little gym a guy tried to start in Bryan, Ohio. I trained with A few different clubs in Columbus, Ohio. I got the honor of training with Carelson Gracie Jr. for a day down in his club at Cincinnati back in the day. I trained with Eduardo Barros, I believe that is his name as well as with a brazilian Black belt named Jonatos. I mostly did Seminars with these people it wasn’t usually like constant training because where I live there is no gyms So I would have to drive long hours to get to where the training was taking place. I also trained with Dan Severn in Catch wrestling/ submission grappling for a while.

Currently not training anywhere, because I am in college and have had no income for almost a full year. Although my old training partner is thinking about starting his own gym if that happens I will be ready to roll like there is no tomorrow.

[slimjim]

[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:

And come on man if you are jerking off to avatar pictures you need to get a life.[/quote]

good one

[Miss_Parker]

[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:

[quote]Miss Parker wrote:

[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:
Well, I don’t believe we have a hard time understanding creepy. I believe you ladies that use it so much don’t know the proper meaning. Also, if we met the “creepy” guy we wouldn’t say he was creepy, we would probably come closer to what the actual problem is. Like instead of saying “Man, that guy was creepy” we would say " while Jim was in my guard he looked me straight in the eyes and asked if I wanted to play tummy sticks"

 I just love how all the little girls are getting in here and defending their creepy guy descriptions. Deb and MissParker you are 2 of the little girls. 

 P.S. Debra maybe you wouldn't have to deal with so many creepy guys if you didn't have a picture of yourself wearing such a small amount of clothing as your avatar. But, you do look good in the picture but I have to guess that just draws in the creeps.[/quote]

Mcstoots, I know what creepy is, I’m not a little girl, and I’m done being patient with you. I repeat - you are not creepy. However, you are a dick.

Legendaryblaze, yes, a guy continually watching you from his window with an odd smile on his face is creepy as hell. [/quote]

Well, thank you for noticing that quality in me MissParker. Of course you are not a little girl in your avatar you look to be at least 50 or 60 years old. I have a hard time believing you when you said you trained in BJJ what with the threat of breaking your hips and all. I am j/k yes I tend to be quite dickly.

[/quote]

Well, shit. That was actually funny. (shuffles off…)

[debraD]

[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:
Well, I don’t believe we have a hard time understanding creepy. I believe you ladies that use it so much don’t know the proper meaning. Also, if we met the “creepy” guy we wouldn’t say he was creepy, we would probably come closer to what the actual problem is. Like instead of saying “Man, that guy was creepy” we would say " while Jim was in my guard he looked me straight in the eyes and asked if I wanted to play tummy sticks"

 I just love how all the little girls are getting in here and defending their creepy guy descriptions. Deb and MissParker you are 2 of the little girls. [/quote]

Teehee! I’m pushing 40 so it’s such a nice thing for you to say.

[quote]

 P.S. Debra maybe you wouldn't have to deal with so many creepy guys if you didn't have a picture of yourself wearing such a small amount of clothing as your avatar. But, you do look good in the picture but I have to guess that just draws in the creeps.[/quote]

Creepy guys are only really a problem when I put on the whore shoes. Otherwise it’s all good

[Sentoguy]

[quote]slimjim wrote:

[quote]mcstoots082 wrote:

 P.S. Debra maybe you wouldn't have to deal with so many creepy guys if you didn't have a picture of yourself wearing such a small amount of clothing as your avatar. But, you do look good in the picture but I have to guess that just draws in the creeps.[/quote]

Dammit…really dude? are you really going to highlight that? really? and then the good looking chicks start taking down their avatars? wtf![/quote]

Seriously. What is this world coming to?

[mcstoots082]

LOL Well, Debra I dunno what whore shoes are, but good luck. Oh damn, wait you are 40? Are you by chance a grandmother? I am not trying to be a dick about your age at all, banging a grandmother is on my list of things to do, and I am serious.

[mcstoots082]

DebraD and Missparker, I mean what I said about training grappling with women. But, I just want to make sure you guys know all the other stuff I say is joking and I am sorry if it did or does offend you. Like calling you little girls and about you braking your hips or me wanting to get with a grandma it was all in good fun from me and just want to make sure you both understand that.

I definitely don’t need to get beat up by women, my fragile ego couldn’t take it.

[debraD]

haha mcstoots I wasn’t taking you too seriously

I’m only here (reading this thread and the combat forum) because I’m contemplating enrolling in some classes but am still undecided so I won’t be beating up or grappling with anyone just yet.

[Miss_Parker]

Do it, Deb. You won’t regret it, & most guys (ahem) are happy to train with women. Just work hard & don’t complain & have a good attitude, you’ll fit right in.

If you ever have training questions we’ll be happy to help you in this forum or you can PM me any time.

Mcstoots! No hard feelings… I won’t beat you up if you won’t pull my pigtails too hard.

[WolBarret]

The end?

[mcstoots082]

Im glad you two can take a joke, and a little teasing. Deb I would definitely say for you to try it out it is an empowering feeling learning how to defend yourself. You will be more confident in your everyday life, and it may just save your life some day. It is my -“OPINION”- that all you ladies need to learn how to defend yourselves just incase a Creep does focus some weird intentions on you. Of course I am a paranoid bastard and if I could do it my way all women would carry pepper spray or tasers or a handgun as well as be proficient with what ever weapon they choose to carry. I hate to see anyone get victimized.

[debraD]

Thanks Miss Parker and mcstoots. There are a couple things holding me back, one is I have a hot temper combined with zero self control when it comes to physical contact and as such I’ve never been able to play fight or wrestle without seeing red and losing it.

I’m not a complete stranger to violence but for that reason I’ve avoided it and I’ve never been able to take anyone putting their hands on me who wasn’t a friend or boyfriend. But I really would like to have a reason for all the training I do. It’s a bit of a dilemma.

[jtrinsey]

[quote]debraD wrote:
There are a couple things holding me back, one is I have a hot temper combined with zero self control when it comes to physical contact and as such I’ve never been able to play fight or wrestle without seeing red and losing it.

I’m not a complete stranger to violence but for that reason I’ve avoided it and I’ve never been able to take anyone putting their hands on me who wasn’t a friend or boyfriend. [/quote]

Well, if this is the case, then I probably wouldn’t recommend BJJ to you. First of all, people are going to have their hands on you the whole entire class. Like you may literally go 20 minutes straight with somebody on top of you the whole time. And not in the fun way either.

Also, if you have a tendency to get frustrated and lose your temper, then BJJ is not the sport for you. It is difficult for me sometimes because, as a beginner, you will (at least if the people in your class are competent) just get tapped over and over and over and over again. Trying to blast your way out of it will only make things worse, especially if you are a woman going up against a man who will be physically stronger anyway.

But who knows, maybe it could be good for you to do that and work on those qualities. I think it’s helped me in those regards.

Finally, I don’t know if you are “girly” about this stuff but you probably will wind up with bruises and scrapes. I have or have seen people get them on the biceps and up near the shoulder/armpit from people trying to pin arms or overhooking and twisting; on the inner thighs from working triangles or people digging in elbows to open the guard; on the wrists from people holding and squeezing; and on the tops of the feet, although if you don’t work takedowns, you might not have a problem with that. I don’t think they are bad, and the only person who notices on a day-to-day basis is my girlfriend because she sees me up close with my shirt off, but some people might not like that.

If that stuff isn’t going to bother you, than give it a try. I think it’s a ton of fun, although I do think the instructor/school makes all the difference.

You also might want to try to Muay Thai/kickboxing classes. It might be a better introduction to the “physical violence” portion as there isn’t nearly as up-close contact, it’s more just learning technique and then blasting away on the Thai pads.

[Miss_Parker]

I agree with Jtrinsey. BJJ may set off some bells for you, its an extremely physically intimate way to train. Muay Thai, boxing, kickboxing, or Krav Maga might be better choices for you.

If you have your mind set on BJJ, if wonder if a friend would go with you? You may have more patience & tolerance if someone you trust has their hands on you, until you’ve become accustomed to what is expected of you on the mat.

I know from reading previous posts you tend to be pretty physically fearless, and I’ve seen your “before” pictures. If you’ve got the discipline and drive to lose that weight & get the body you now have, you’d be an excellent candidate to train successfully in combat sports, but you’ll need to learn to control your temper.

On the other hand, I also have a little experience with violence on the ground. I tend to hold back quite a bit when punching my friends while we’re standing (I suffer from nice girl syndrome), but generally go ape shit on the ground. We almost always start standing up, & the guys I train with will often tell me, “Dammit, Parker, if you don’t punch me in the face right now I’m taking you to the ground!” They come to train hard, not play around, so if you can control it you can make it work in your favor.

Also, I agree with Mcstoots - all women should know how to defend themselves against a real attack. Once you have the confidence you can do so, I suspect you’ll see that temper begin to subside. When you know you can bite, there’s less need to bark.

[Spartiates]

…or BJJ might be good for you, and get you used to not loosing your cool and going ape-shit when you’re not in control…

Play to your strengths or address your weaknesses?