Crappy Weight Loss Challenge at Work

Off Topic
1

So I got this weight loss/ “get fit” challenge at work starting April 1 x 4 months! Take a look at this joke of a contest. They had to modify it from the 1st email that went out because it was too discrim to fat ppl in the office.

Here is the 1st email (1st paragraph where it’s funny):

“Is anyone out there feeling â??chunkyâ??? Chunkier than youâ??d like to feel? Does that long bus or metro ride give you the jiggles? Have you tried losing weight with no success? If so, thatâ??s because you lacked 2 key motivators, Competitiveness and Sweet Prizes. Thatâ??s where the Good Deeds Committee would like to help by introducing the X company Health Challenge.”

I LOLed when i read it the 1st time. The prizes are good, but the stupid thing is, the $1000 grand prize is only applicable to ppl that enter the “weight loss” part, not the “get fit” part.

AND, the “get fit” portion used to be based on BODY FAT % lost, not this stupid grade school fit test with push ups, sit ups and skipping??? like wtf?

Here is the current competition:

The competition will be divided in two categories:
â?¢ Weight Loss Challenge
â?¢ Get Fit Challenge

Weight Loss Challenge:
â?¢ Participants will be required to lose at a minimum 7% of their current body weight to be eligible for this challenge.
â?¢ Weigh-ins will take place on a monthly basis.
o The initial weigh in will take place at 4pm on either Friday March 26th or Monday March 29th.
â?¢ Whoever loses the highest percentage of their body weight will win the grand prize.
â?¢ Only the percentage of progress will be displayed (not actual weight in lbs).

Get Fit Challenge:
â?¢ Participants will be required increase their level of fitness. The level of fitness at the onset and at the end will be measured as follows:
o The number of skips you can attain with a skip rope, within a 2 minute period
o The number of pushups you can attain within a 2 minute period.
o The number of sit ups that you can attain within a 2 minute period.
o Points will be tallied (one point per repetition). This will be your benchmark to beat.

The top 3 participants in each category will win prizes (as detailed below).

As an added bonus, he or she who compiles the most points in the â??Get Fit Challengeâ?? at initial assessment, and proves themselves the most fit, will receive a prize!

Prizes:
â?¢ 1st Place: $1,000 to be spent on a new wardrobe at the retailer/mall of your choice.

â?¢ 2nd Place: A Choice of either (a) or (b)
a) Complete Nintendo Wii Package.
ï?§ Nintendo Wii console
ï?§ Wii Fit accessories
ï?§ Wii Fit plus Balance Board
ï?§ Fitness Coach Program/Videogame

b) $500 towards a Spa Getaway

â?¢ 3rd Place: $250 dollars of fitness equipment at a fitness retailer of your choice (LouLou lemon, Foot Locker etc.).

Overall, with this contest, i am very confident that I will win (Get Fit) but i am pissed that I will not be able to compete for the grand prize of $1000.

I can’t believe our society have favored and sympathized fat ppl moreso than ppl that are fit/ healthy and overall more productive members of society.

2

Well, let’s look at the glass half full here for a minute. You’re already not a fat-ass, that has to be worth more than a grand right?

3

[quote]chuckaboo86 wrote:
So I got this weight loss/ “get fit” challenge at work starting April 1 x 4 months! Take a look at this joke of a contest. They had to modify it from the 1st email that went out because it was too discrim to fat ppl in the office.

Here is the 1st email (1st paragraph where it’s funny):

“Is anyone out there feeling â??chunkyâ??? Chunkier than youâ??d like to feel? Does that long bus or metro ride give you the jiggles? Have you tried losing weight with no success? If so, thatâ??s because you lacked 2 key motivators, Competitiveness and Sweet Prizes. Thatâ??s where the Good Deeds Committee would like to help by introducing the X company Health Challenge.”

I LOLed when i read it the 1st time. The prizes are good, but the stupid thing is, the $1000 grand prize is only applicable to ppl that enter the “weight loss” part, not the “get fit” part.

AND, the “get fit” portion used to be based on BODY FAT % lost, not this stupid grade school fit test with push ups, sit ups and skipping??? like wtf?

Here is the current competition:

The competition will be divided in two categories:
â?¢ Weight Loss Challenge
â?¢ Get Fit Challenge

Weight Loss Challenge:
â?¢ Participants will be required to lose at a minimum 7% of their current body weight to be eligible for this challenge.
â?¢ Weigh-ins will take place on a monthly basis.
o The initial weigh in will take place at 4pm on either Friday March 26th or Monday March 29th.
â?¢ Whoever loses the highest percentage of their body weight will win the grand prize.
â?¢ Only the percentage of progress will be displayed (not actual weight in lbs).

Get Fit Challenge:
â?¢ Participants will be required increase their level of fitness. The level of fitness at the onset and at the end will be measured as follows:
o The number of skips you can attain with a skip rope, within a 2 minute period
o The number of pushups you can attain within a 2 minute period.
o The number of sit ups that you can attain within a 2 minute period.
o Points will be tallied (one point per repetition). This will be your benchmark to beat.

The top 3 participants in each category will win prizes (as detailed below).

As an added bonus, he or she who compiles the most points in the â??Get Fit Challengeâ?? at initial assessment, and proves themselves the most fit, will receive a prize!

Prizes:
â?¢ 1st Place: $1,000 to be spent on a new wardrobe at the retailer/mall of your choice.

â?¢ 2nd Place: A Choice of either (a) or (b)
a) Complete Nintendo Wii Package.
ï?§ Nintendo Wii console
ï?§ Wii Fit accessories
ï?§ Wii Fit plus Balance Board
ï?§ Fitness Coach Program/Videogame

b) $500 towards a Spa Getaway

â?¢ 3rd Place: $250 dollars of fitness equipment at a fitness retailer of your choice (LouLou lemon, Foot Locker etc.).

Overall, with this contest, i am very confident that I will win (Get Fit) but i am pissed that I will not be able to compete for the grand prize of $1000.

I can’t believe our society have favored and sympathized fat ppl moreso than ppl that are fit/ healthy and overall more productive members of society.

[/quote]

Cliff notes please!!

4

Cliff Notes:

OP’s Fat office is having a weight loss and a get fit contest. The Fattest fuck to loose most weight wins a grand. In the get fit contest, person who can do the most push ups and sit up gets to take home a crappy Wii Fit and console, runners up get some shitty prize.

5

My workplace has a wellness committee that does 12 week challenges and invites local gyms in to give their schpiel all the time. They put up posters all over the walls with fitness (weight loss) tips. Then we have a special events committee that hands out cupcakes and has ice cream socials all the time. WTF?

6

[quote]Extremepain wrote:
My workplace has a wellness committee that does 12 week challenges and invites local gyms in to give their schpiel all the time. They put up posters all over the walls with fitness (weight loss) tips. Then we have a special events committee that hands out cupcakes and has ice cream socials all the time. WTF?[/quote]

Well, if the wellness committee made everyone healthy and thin, they would be out of a job. It’s beneficial to keep the cycle going.

Like magazines with empty promises and pretty pictures.

7

You can sell the Wii shit and everything, get a good 500 bucks ouf ot it?

Look at it this way. You can be pissed that you can’t get the grand, but you can get the Wii. You say you’re confident, so without alot of competition why would you be bummed out about receiving a Wii?

I wish they did this at my job.

8

Can’t you just sandbag the first round of the “get fit” portion, then beat your old score by about 1000? I mean, if winning is what you’re after…

9

[quote]devildog_jim wrote:
Can’t you just sandbag the first round of the “get fit” portion, then beat your old score by about 1000? I mean, if winning is what you’re after…[/quote]
Maybe honesty is what he’s after.

10

[quote]Extremepain wrote:
My workplace has a wellness committee that does 12 week challenges and invites local gyms in to give their schpiel all the time. They put up posters all over the walls with fitness (weight loss) tips. Then we have a special events committee that hands out cupcakes and has ice cream socials all the time. WTF?[/quote]

Hey I happen to like those fucking cupcakes and ice cream and the damn wellness committee keeps trying to get them replaced with fucking raisins, nuts and sunflower seeds. anger I’m not fat, they already took away the bacon AND I ran a gazillion miles this morning so stay the fuck away from my free cakes. shaking fist in air

(Note: We don’t have any birthdays this month, and thus no cake so I’m getting stressed.)

11

I wish -I- lived in a world where I could convert pushups to Wiis. Sweet deal.

There’s a sexual joke in there somewhere.

12

Shit, a grand? Ours is only at $200 right now. We had to donate $10, $1 of every $10 goes to the Children’s Miracle Network.

13

Well I can do a decent number of sit ups, push ups, and jump ropes in 2 mins.
lets duel via the INTERNETS!

if you win, you can keep the wii at work, if i win, you have to ship me the wii

14

losing weight is gay. bulk forever.

15

Doesn’t seem that bad to me. I mean granted you wont win the grand if your not a fat ass but there’s nothing wrong with attempting to motivate people with potentially dangerous living habits to change there ways.

You could always offer to train the biggest male/female in your office and tell them if they win they have to give you half… Thats what I’d do anyways, I mean even if they don’t win you get a free spotter for then next 4 months. =)

16

Ha dont feel too bad, we get no prizes at my work. We have a quarterly fitness test, and afterwords we have a “morale” party and get to eat fucking pizza and a bunch of sweets. Regardless of whether or not we pass the test. Please hold the bulking comments, the only thing most of my coworkers are bulking up is their bellies.

BTW, fantastic gif silverhydra haha

17

I would go for second place, WII console!

18

Totally agree with devildog,assuming you’re decent at bodyweight stuff,there’s a great opportunity to win a few Wii there!

19

Four words for you my friend.

Sodium Bloat/ Carb load

Read Jason Peggs article on bloating at the Chinese Buffet at EFS, read strategies for piling on as much non fat weight as possible (read water weight, and weight of food inside you). It should be fairly easy to blow up by 15-20lbs just on water and food alone. Maybe stick a 5lb plate in your jockeys, smash down a load of pizza/burgers/steaks just before the weigh in.

Then without any actual effort, water and carb deplete before the final weigh in. You could be looking at a 30-40lb swing in weight, without actually changing your body comp!

Then you take the Wii and sell it on ebay or something.

Easy-fuckin-peasy.

20

[quote]sidewalkdances wrote:
Four words for you my friend.

Sodium Bloat/ Carb load

Read Jason Peggs article on bloating at the Chinese Buffet at EFS, read strategies for piling on as much non fat weight as possible (read water weight, and weight of food inside you). It should be fairly easy to blow up by 15-20lbs just on water and food alone. Maybe stick a 5lb plate in your jockeys, smash down a load of pizza/burgers/steaks just before the weigh in.

Then without any actual effort, water and carb deplete before the final weigh in. You could be looking at a 30-40lb swing in weight, without actually changing your body comp!

Then you take the Wii and sell it on ebay or something.

Easy-fuckin-peasy.[/quote]

True, as I doubt many of the fat asses will actually be motivated enough to seize this opportunity, you may have less competition than you think.