[quote]Christine wrote:
Extroverts exhaust me. They get their energy by sucking it out of the introverts.[/quote]
+1
[quote]Christine wrote:
Extroverts exhaust me. They get their energy by sucking it out of the introverts.[/quote]
Fucking psychic vampires is what they are. My cats will get them.
[quote]300andabove wrote:
!
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/09/how-to-go-from-introvert-to-extrovert/
[/quote]
Very informative. Thank you.
[quote]belligerent wrote:
Personality is genetic, including one’s degree of introversion/extroversion. Anyony can improve their social skills but you will never be a true extrovert. But keep in mind that even the most introverted people can be very gregarious in the company of people they’re comfortable with.
[/quote]
This rings very true to me. Introversion does not equal a lack of social skills. I make a good first impression on people, I do well on job interviews, and I think that most people have a generally positive impression of me. But that doesn’t mean that I like making small talk with the guy on the lunch line at the deli and it doesn’t mean that I’m gonna give my life story to somebody the second time I see them.
Lack of pleasure does not necessarily imply lack of ability. I did pretty well in math in high school - doesn’t mean I enjoyed it, but I could perform well when I had to. Furthermore, there’s a difference between lacking an active ‘like’ for something, and having an active ‘dislike.’ Just because I don’t love meeting new people and getting to know them doesnt mean that it sends me into a panic attack either
Gregarious introverts are just shy.
Yes you can overcome being shy.
Some people are born extroverted, Type A and Type B what ever.
You can bridge the gap even if it doesn’t come naturally.
I consider myself an extrovert. I’m in sales, I was president of the marketing association at my university and I generally like being around people, networking etc.
For awhile, giving speeches to large groups was difficult for me.
One on one or in an informal group I’ll talk to anybody. Or to small groups in a formal setting.
30+ and I can feel my body temp rise, or could anyways, my palms get sweaty and I had to struggle to focus.
With practice, giving speeches became easy, they are even enjoyable when I see the crowd getting in to it, though now days my speeches are sales presentations and proposal explanations, which make me nervous all over again as money is on the line. BUt that is a different story.
I would imagine the same is true for shy people on a one on one scale.
[quote]KBCThird wrote:
belligerent wrote:
Personality is genetic, including one’s degree of introversion/extroversion. Anyony can improve their social skills but you will never be a true extrovert. But keep in mind that even the most introverted people can be very gregarious in the company of people they’re comfortable with.
This rings very true to me. Introversion does not equal a lack of social skills. I make a good first impression on people, I do well on job interviews, and I think that most people have a generally positive impression of me. But that doesn’t mean that I like making small talk with the guy on the lunch line at the deli and it doesn’t mean that I’m gonna give my life story to somebody the second time I see them.
Lack of pleasure does not necessarily imply lack of ability. I did pretty well in math in high school - doesn’t mean I enjoyed it, but I could perform well when I had to. Furthermore, there’s a difference between lacking an active ‘like’ for something, and having an active ‘dislike.’ Just because I don’t love meeting new people and getting to know them doesnt mean that it sends me into a panic attack either[/quote]
agreed.
I worked retail for ten years, I was very good at it, but I hated it.
[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
nowakc wrote:
The difficult path is to just flip the switch and start being friendly and talkative to everyone, all the time. Approach strangers randomly and initiate conversations, even if it’s about stupid shit like the weather. In this case you’ll have to deal with those people who don’t want to talk to you and might be rude, and get used to that rejection. However, you’ll make friends quick because of the sheer amount of people you talk to, eventually you will find someone who you have a lot in common with.
See, I don’t know where you’re from, but that’s just creepy, and might get you in trouble in NJ.
Making conversation sitting at a bus stop is one thing, but hunting for friends everywhere is something that people can see… and it’s fuckin creepy.
I’m also not much for approaching women randomly. I mean, maybe, if you’re in line at the store and you got something to talk about, or if you’re at a bar and they’re sitting next to you. But just walking up to a broad who’s at Shoprite and starting to talk is another thing that, unless you’re very, very good at it, is just fuckin creepy.[/quote]
Jersy isn’t a war zone. Stop trying to act like you’ll get your ass kicked for any and everything in Jersy because it is just so hard.
People are people and you are either a big pussy or just draw trouble because you think you are a hard ass.
Smiling and being friendly is definitely the way to make friends. Not everyone will be your friend regardless of what you do, but creating a positive presence will make you a more popular person in general than not. And I’m not talking about jr. high clique popular either. Just a well liked person. In Jersey just the same as anywhere else.
[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
KBCThird wrote:
The other point is that I think people commonly mistake being anti-social for being introverted, and there’s a difference between being misanthropic and being introverted. It’s very possible I misunderstand what you mean, but when you write “I’ll never be someone who genuinely likes people, but there is something to be said for getting out and being around people” it seems to me that you’re saying “hey, I can be a little bit of an introvert too, but I overcome it” and I dont think that’s what being an introvert is, that, to me, is more misanthropic than anything else.
Again, very possible that I misunderstood
Oh man I’m confused. That was one hell of a run on sentence. Are you calling me introverted or misanthropic? I’m probably a little of both. But I don’t know if you can be more outgoing by being a misanthrope than you would be if you were simply introverted. Is it possible to be a misanthrope but still have a shit ton of friends? I think I hate people as a whole, but individually they can be pretty decent. I start getting philosophical when it gets to this point.
[/quote]
hahaha
“I hate people, but I love Tom, Dick and Harry.”
-Jonathan Swift (may not be verbatim, he may’ve written ‘man’ for people, or something)
ok, lemme try one more time, then if that doesnt work at least I will have succeeded in confusing the both of us.
When you write:
“I’ll never be someone who genuinely likes people, but there is something to be said for getting out and being around people”
would it be accurate or inaccurate for me to paraphrase your feelings as:
“hey, I can be a little bit of an introvert too, but I overcome it”?
The reason I ask is that I think that what you are ACTUALLY feeling is misanthropy, but you’re confusing it with introversion. That’s not to say that you’re not introverted, just saying that you may be confusing one part of your nature with another part
…or I could jsut be splitting hairs and speaking out of my rear at this point. Dunno, I think it’s an interesting thought I have, but if I can’t articulate it, no point in discussing it I suppose.
[quote]Joe Grim wrote:
To those who recommended a rugby club: The next year or so I will be busy studying for CPA exams. Is the time commitment for the teams high, I’m intrigued but time will be somewhat limited between work and exam preparation?
[/quote]
Right now we practice once a week on friday nights for an hour … next month we’re going to two hours for practice.
I’m also going to school at the moment plus juggling a full time job and keeping social on top of lifting and sports (i love a busy life tbh) It just takes a little bit of getting used to but it’s helped me out get re-acclimated to the area and made some good contacts and friends thus far … i’m sure each team has a different level of commitment so it depends …
[quote]FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
nowakc wrote:
Smiling and being friendly is definitely the way to make friends. Not everyone will be your friend regardless of what you do, but creating a positive presence will make you a more popular person in general than not. And I’m not talking about jr. high clique popular either. Just a well liked person. In Jersey just the same as anywhere else. [/quote]
Kinda like you create a positive attitude here? (nttawt)
[quote]polo77j wrote:
FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
nowakc wrote:
Smiling and being friendly is definitely the way to make friends. Not everyone will be your friend regardless of what you do, but creating a positive presence will make you a more popular person in general than not. And I’m not talking about jr. high clique popular either. Just a well liked person. In Jersey just the same as anywhere else.
Kinda like you create a positive attitude here? (nttawt)[/quote]
I don’t give a shit about here. I don’t meet people from the internet, nobody is worth money to me and there are a bunch of dumbshits who are fun to rile up.
And, though I do create negative vibes here, I still manage to engage attention and draw people in.
A true extrovert.
Call bullshit and flame if you want but if we met in person I would be one of the most charismatic people you’ve encountered.
[quote]FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
polo77j wrote:
FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
nowakc wrote:
Smiling and being friendly is definitely the way to make friends. Not everyone will be your friend regardless of what you do, but creating a positive presence will make you a more popular person in general than not. And I’m not talking about jr. high clique popular either. Just a well liked person. In Jersey just the same as anywhere else.
Kinda like you create a positive attitude here? (nttawt)
I don’t give a shit about here. I don’t meet people from the internet, nobody is worth money to me and there are a bunch of dumbshits who are fun to rile up.
And, though I do create negative vibes here, I still manage to engage attention and draw people in.
A true extrovert.
Call bullshit and flame if you want but if we met in person I would be one of the most charismatic people you’ve encountered. [/quote]
shit, you’re on this thread too?
lol
epic entertainment.
[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
As an extreme introvert myself, I’ll advise you to not try to change who you are. I was fairly unhappy in high school because I wanted to be one of those bubbly outgoing fun girls.[/quote]
Your error was being unhappy about yourself, not trying to change who you were. You gotta be proud of yourself and self-confident, but there is nothing wrong in adapting and “improving” yourself.
[quote]FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
polo77j wrote:
FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
nowakc wrote:
Smiling and being friendly is definitely the way to make friends. Not everyone will be your friend regardless of what you do, but creating a positive presence will make you a more popular person in general than not. And I’m not talking about jr. high clique popular either. Just a well liked person. In Jersey just the same as anywhere else.
Kinda like you create a positive attitude here? (nttawt)
I don’t give a shit about here. I don’t meet people from the internet, nobody is worth money to me and there are a bunch of dumbshits who are fun to rile up.
And, though I do create negative vibes here, I still manage to engage attention and draw people in.
A true extrovert.
Call bullshit and flame if you want but if we met in person I would be one of the most charismatic people you’ve encountered. [/quote]
just bustin chops man … just bustin chops
[quote]FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
Gregarious introverts are just shy.
Yes you can overcome being shy.
Some people are born extroverted, Type A and Type B what ever.
You can bridge the gap even if it doesn’t come naturally.
I consider myself an extrovert. I’m in sales, I was president of the marketing association at my university and I generally like being around people, networking etc.
For awhile, giving speeches to large groups was difficult for me.
One on one or in an informal group I’ll talk to anybody. Or to small groups in a formal setting.
30+ and I can feel my body temp rise, or could anyways, my palms get sweaty and I had to struggle to focus.
[/quote]
I dont agree that gregarious introvert = shy, but I do find it interesting that you felt uncomfortable speaking in front of large groups. Again, I think that’s another aspect that people believe correlates to introversion/extroversion but doesnt. I cannot ever remember feeling uncomfortable speaking in front of a group, if I had prepared adequately, or if it were just an off-the-cuff response to something where I wasn’t expected to have formulated a full and complete line of thoguht/position.
[quote]pinkponyz wrote:
ouroboro_s wrote:
As an extreme introvert myself, I’ll advise you to not try to change who you are. I was fairly unhappy in high school because I wanted to be one of those bubbly outgoing fun girls.
Your error was being unhappy about yourself, not trying to change who you were. You gotta be proud of yourself and self-confident, but there is nothing wrong in adapting and “improving” yourself.[/quote]
But that implies that becoming more outgoing is an improvement, which is contrary to the whole point of what she’s saying, that there’s nothing inherently “better” about being one or the other (introvert vs extrovert)
Yeah, dude. I was like that all through HS. Shy, kept to myself, like 2 or 3 close friends (and no game whatsoever). But then I got a job as a waiter for a little bit, where my tips depended on interaction with other people, and I became a lot more outgoing. I’m glad I did that. It definitely changed me for the better.
[quote]KBCThird wrote:
FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
Gregarious introverts are just shy.
Yes you can overcome being shy.
Some people are born extroverted, Type A and Type B what ever.
You can bridge the gap even if it doesn’t come naturally.
I consider myself an extrovert. I’m in sales, I was president of the marketing association at my university and I generally like being around people, networking etc.
For awhile, giving speeches to large groups was difficult for me.
One on one or in an informal group I’ll talk to anybody. Or to small groups in a formal setting.
30+ and I can feel my body temp rise, or could anyways, my palms get sweaty and I had to struggle to focus.
I dont agree that gregarious introvert = shy, but I do find it interesting that you felt uncomfortable speaking in front of large groups. Again, I think that’s another aspect that people believe correlates to introversion/extroversion but doesnt. I cannot ever remember feeling uncomfortable speaking in front of a group, if I had prepared adequately, or if it were just an off-the-cuff response to something where I wasn’t expected to have formulated a full and complete line of thoguht/position.
[/quote]
Yeah, I don’t know why but it was tough. It has gotten easy and enjoyable with practice.
An off the cuff remark was different, I’m really pretty good with those. Quick quips and what not sometimes just slip out and I kind of surprise myself.
But prepared speeches made me nervous. I don’t know if it was the audience or the pressure to perform.
Most of my sales prospecting is done through networking at group lunches, golf tournies etc, lateral inter-company movement within existing clients etc, but I do dig up new clients through cold calls occasionally.
I can call a perfect stranger and feel totally comfortable convincing them we should meet to discuss their spending money.
These days I can give a big speech too with no issue, but a few years ago I would have been nervous. I would deliver, but shakily. Then I could go to a party with the same big group and have no problem enjoying myself.
I was born an extrovert. I actually talk too much and disclose too much about myself too quickly. Nothing wrong with being introverted, just work with it. Speak when you feel you need to speak.
[quote]pinkponyz wrote:
ouroboro_s wrote:
As an extreme introvert myself, I’ll advise you to not try to change who you are. I was fairly unhappy in high school because I wanted to be one of those bubbly outgoing fun girls.
Your error was being unhappy about yourself, not trying to change who you were. You gotta be proud of yourself and self-confident, but there is nothing wrong in adapting and “improving” yourself.[/quote]
Improving implies there’s a problem in the first place when there isn’t. All my efforts to be Reese Witherspoon resulted in being more like Christina Ricci in the Adams Family. It’s a good thing I like that 
Like the other poster mentioned, being introverted doesn’t mean being socially inept. I make an excellent impression and exude confidence when required. Generally people believe what I tell them and I’ve always done well at work. Client’s trust me. I just find it exhausting and prefer to work alone in a team of one.
The funny thing is that I’m sometimes given to jags of gregariousness during which I talk to anybody, anywhere about anything. It’s kind of fucked up and scary… for the other people.