So my daughter has been training in gymnastics since she was 3, and she’s now 6. One of the studios she’d been training at intentionally slow-rolled her getting from level 1 into level 2, despite her being the best in her class by a LONG shot. I couldn’t tell you why they slow rolled her, but there was an incident where the two owners got into a verbal confrontation over her not being in level 2… clearly one wanted her moved up and the other did not (don’t know why).
Then about 6 months after kicking ass in level 2, she was invited to try out for Team. The only reason she hadn’t been invited sooner was because she needed to be a little more mature and pay attention a little more (mind you, she’s 6 being asked to focus for 3 hour classes). She made team last week.
We were very happy for her and her invitation, but now it seems like the same criteria that held her back is being waived for other students. You know how every class/group has the ‘class distraction’? Yeah, they just moved the class distraction up as well. This wouldn’t really be a problem if this girl wasn’t a walking distraction whose participation is a detriment to every class she’s in… but it also sits wrong considering that she’s 10x the troublemaker and cannot pay attention AT ALL, yet she makes team a week after our daughter (who was held back for paying attention).
I can’t help but feel that we’re playing on the wrong side of an uneven playing field. We’ve already found another studio and I’ll be talking to the owner tomorrow about letting her try out. I feel like either our daughter is being sandbagged, or this distraction with legs is getting a free pass… Anyone experience something similar? Am I overreacting?
If it is utmost that your daughter have the opportunity to excel in gymnastics, then you should be constantly looking for the best environment for that to occur.
That said, you need to constantly question yourself when you observe inequalities. Acknowledge to yourself that you could be blinded with your bias. The last thing you want to do is move from the environment you know, only to find her in a worse environment when you leave.
Maybe not completely relevant, but as a football coach for young girls it seems to me that a lot of stuff can happen and parents will often think it’s unfair or something untoward is going on. It has never been the case for me. In these kinds of age groups there are lots of girls of all kinds of skill levels. Some may have been doing it for a few years (like your daughter), some are completely new to it, some just go because their friends are, or some just go because it means the parents can hang out.
We have 4 or 5 genuinely great players in our team. We split them up to allow both the teams we run to have a decent side to put on. If we were to put all the best players on the best team then the side without a few of these more experienced ones would just get steamrolled to the point where it’s no longer fun. Some parents understand this, some don’t. What will happen as they get older and it’s more competitive is the stragglers will get left behind whilst the exceptionals will push forward. There are even situations where we split some girls up as much as we can because they fool around too much.
Talk to the current studio about it in a non-confronting way and it’s probably not as in-depth as you think it is.
Like, in a mcdojo you buy belts. It has nothing to do with actual discipline, skill or proficiency, and the ones that pay for extra lessons, tournaments, etc. are advanced more quickly no matter how abysmal their abilities. And if you pay for the whole year in advance your kid becomes like the next Bruce Lee almost over night. As soon as the check clears anyways.
Think like, 10 year old black belts.
Theres a pretty large segment of the kids physical prep world that preys on the aspirations of parents/kids, and their strong desire to be “special” is what I’m trying to say.
Could be if the parents of “questionable” talent kid contributed large amounts of money to the school.
It’s so hard when they are young and some parents definitely feel like their kid is going to be the next Ronaldo, Brady or whoever (not saying this is how you feel, but if that other girls parents feel that way they will push her that way - think that celebrity couple who got jailed for buying their kids way onto a crew team - can’t remember their names).
My wife coached 5-6 year old boys soccer when my son was little. These kids are still barely out of the stage where they chase the ball around in a big huddle. One dad yelled - literally- at my wife for putting his son as goalie (what the kid asked for) saying “my son plays forward and scores goals - he will be a pro)”. It can get quite ridiculous and it’s never fair.
If you continue to pursue high-level INSERT SPORT HERE for your young child, you will have a long road of unfairness ahead of you.
This is in addition to crazy parents, eyebrow-raising coaching decisions, lurid sport parent encounters in far-flung hotels, and everything else that goes along with expensive children’s sports.
I advise you settle in and look for the lessons in every situation your kid encounters in INSERT SPORT HERE.
I agree with @twojarslave above - sports has gotten weird.
I will also say, cheer and gymnastics have been my absolute least favorite from this standpoint. The politics and nonsense will exist in all sports, but I’ve found these two to be the worst.
We aren’t talking about a six-year-old girl here…right?
Edit: As far as the gym and its judgment goes: Does the gym have girls competing and winning at higher levels? If so, have those girls been training there since they were your daughter’s age?
We are most definitely talking about a 6 year old, but in an entirely different context… so NO, i was not referring to this child as a sexual distraction.
Thanks for taking this thread there, though.
“Walking distraction” as in the way a fucking velociraptor would also be a walking distraction, and a detriment to all who are in it’s orbit.
If you live in a big enough city, just find one that you and your daughter connect with. My daughter is on team at her new gym after a few months and her growth has been crazy. Her old gym just didn’t have the right structure or coaching. My daughter needed structure and tougher coaches to push her.
I didn’t have a good coach my whole baseball career through high school. Unfortunately, with school sports, you can’t just try a new gym. I would have quit if I didn’t love the sport so much. Eventually, I was just so much better they had to play me and it led to a college run. Sports are fucking weird and favoritism is prevalent. Sometimes you get lucky and connect on the first go around. If not, you have to be willing to move around.
Sorry, but I was surprised by someone referring to a six-year-old as a “distraction with legs” on a public message board full of strangers. The girls are six and very few are going to be concentrating for a full three hours…those that will do so will likely ignore distractions.