[quote]chrisb71 wrote:
druryk wrote:
One woman last night said she had been basically in denial of how bad it had actually gotten. I wonder what would have happened had she had a friend who sat down with her and was brutally honest.
If people have interventions for alcohol and drug abuse why not have them for extremely obese people?
Denial, depression, could be many things. I tend to think if fat people are like me when I was fat, then they probably pretty much hate themselves and are miserable, but don’t have the energy or ambition to do anything about it, which makes them feel worse.
For me, when I first joined in '02, I was lowering my bodyfat by a lot, finally building muscle. I looked good in '03, not big yet but good enough women noticed me. Then just got depressed, spent the next 4-5 years eating, substituting food for love, sex, happiness. And using MMORPGs to take up time mentally to not think about it and stay in denial and avoid the friends that might have helped wake me up.
But that’s the thing, to finally get started back on track, I didn’t need daily affirmation, I didn’t need people telling me to be happy the way I was. I didn’t need people to accept me and feel sorry for me, I did more than enough of that for myself. And that kind of “nice” talk just keeps you where you are: telling yourself you’re happy hoping someday you’ll believe it. Self esteem and happiness comes from overcoming challenges not trying to feel positive beforehand. Caring about someone means you’re honest with them not necessarily nice to them.
What I needed was to get kicked in the ass.
For me the kick in the ass was the beginning of january when a friend’s mother tried to set me up with this horrid person and when I met the girl I thought “do people think I’m such a loser I’ll take anyone?” and finally realized what I had done to myself and how even my friends saw me. That sounds kind of mean to say about her but, well I was a loser too and didn’t love myself either.
Though actually, for years people were telling me to work out, but maybe it was when they finally gave up that I realized I needed to change. As if the fact they gave up on me finally motivated me. “wow this person isn’t even trying to help me anymore, I must be really far gone”
Not only have I started working out and eating better but have been trying to mentally retrain myself. Because just like type ii diabetes is in a way a symptom of fat and other problems, my fat gain was also a symptom of whatever was going on in my head. It’s amazing how far I let myself fall, from 180 and a lot stronger to 250 and a weakling. But I stopped dwelling and just set my goals and work towards them.
So actually I started in January with the beginning of biggest loser and the Pound for Pound Challenge that gets advertised. At work we started a group for the challenge and were supposed to motivate each other, but everyone but me and one woman quit.
I still need some external motivation sometimes. I hired a trainer to work with once a week, to point out where I need help and push me harder. And before workouts I’ll read some posts here by Professor X and others, that “pussy” thread he started is really motivating :), and I read some sports books I have. I got out “The Long Green Line” the book by Joe Newton my cross country coach in high school and read a few pages before every workout. He was a master motivator, could push you farther than you ever thought possible, and was a bigger influence on me than any man but my father. I just wish I didn’t forget all those lessons for awhile. But fuck it, I have goals I need to look forward not behind.[/quote]
I liked your post!
Good for you for getting back up again.