It’s been interesting to do a Bodybuilding Program and not really worry about the weight on the bar/machine. I also think this is the first time I’ve consistently not deadlifted for 3+ months since I started lifting.
I like how I feel when doing this though. I don’t know what I’ll run next, but it will probably be a very similar upper/lower program, again more focused on aesthetics.
Lifting in a proper gym helps, too. I’ve said it before, but didn’t realize how much I missed having access to dumbbells.
Pure Bodybuilding W10D4
Walked 3 miles at 10.1% incline in 47:57
Seated leg curl 70x13,10,11
Walking lunge 40x3 sets
Paused DB RDL 100x8,7
Walked 1.1 miles at 9.3% incline in 18:00
Something quick before I travel to somewhere with better weather and a couple of long-distance friends. Lots of walking and hiking to be expected. Looking forward to it!
Came back early Monday morning to a high-pressure work task and, even worse, more brain fog.
I think I used up all my folate recently, and that’s why taking tons of it helped for a bit. But I stopped taking B12 during the trip, and the brain fog yesterday and the day before were so bad. The worst it has ever been. I genuinely thought it would be better to be dead because I wasn’t remembering anything or able to follow a podcast anymore. That was the case before, but it was just not good. I was forgetting why I got up to go to another room. I’m too young to feel this way.
I felt bad enough a couple days ago to get another CBC and iron panel. At least my theory is correct: my B12 and/or B9 stores have been in the tank probably since June, and that’s why I couldn’t get my hemoglobin up. But finally it increased with a corresponding plunge in my ferritin that was too high for a long time.
So, I started resuming the B12 injections. Daily. And now I finally feel alive enough to type this, and in the past 48 hours I’ve spent hundreds of dollars on B12 ampoules so that I can self-inject every day or every other day for the next few months. Expensive, but so is living like this all the time.
Now that I’ve experienced both sides of the borderline anemia coin, I can say that I’d much rather have iron deficiency than B12 deficiency. Holy shit. This is what I get for trying a high-dose birth control pill for all of four months. I should have gotten an IUD in the first place.
In the meantime, I started Jeff Nippard’s Ultimate PPL program. I haven’t done PPL since early college days, but I thought it would be cool to mix things up a bit. I can’t lift six days per week, so I find the PPL + full-body day to be an interesting concept.
2/10
Ran 6.5 km in 35:47
2/11
Ultimate PPL W1D1
Front squat 100x4,3
Pause front squat 85x2x4
Barbell RDL 105x9,8,8
Walking lunge 50x2x7
Seated leg curl 60x11,10,9
HLR 11,8,8
Walked 3.55 miles at 10.8% incline in 57:40. Lots of hills.
Finally felt very good today! Like how I was a year ago… without the pelvic pain. I had a final follow-up with my surgeon this week, and I felt bad keeping the appointment in case someone else needed it, but she was so glad to see and hear that everything was going well. Based on recent patterns, it seems like I will probably lose my period on the IUD within the next few cycles. The Mirena seems to really suit me.
Pull-ups 8,7,7
Cable row 90x8, 80x2x10
DB lat pullover 15x12, 20x2x9 (had never done this exercise before)
Cable reverse fly 14,13,12
DB curl 40x7,8,6
Concentration curl 10x8,11,10
It’s been so long since I’ve done PPL that I forgot how awesome it is to have a day dedicated almost solely to back exercises. I think I could do a two-hour pull day and be ecstatic about it.
First session on the bike in a minute. It was a tough start, but I started to wake up after the second interval. Cardio is becoming fun again now that I can focus on my sources of entertainment instead of spiraling because I feel like I have dementia. I’m feeling tired this weekend but actually much better. I think my body has a lot of repairing to do and using a lot of iron and potassium, especially because I am injecting daily, so I’m actually starting iron supplements again and consuming lots of coconut water.
Other good news: I wrote a couple months ago here that I’ve been dealing with lower back pain on my right side that was seemingly aggravated by increased adductor work that was recommended by my PT, or maybe by my mattress topper. There had been some periods of mild improvement, but it still lingered… until a couple days ago. It’s almost completely gone. I think I had developed sciatia due to B12 deficiency. Scary stuff.
I’m loving my Mirena. I feel like my mood swings have calmed down. I have lost my period, and it only took a month. Which was earlier than expected and absolutely wonderful given how frequently I had been bleeding before. Not having to remember a pill everyday is a huge bonus too.
I hope it treats you well.
Ultimate PPL W2D1
Walked 1.25 miles at 9.7% incline in 20:00
Front squat 100x4
Pause front squat 85x2x4
Barbell RDL 105x10,8,8
Walking lunge 50x7,8
Seated leg curl 60x11,10,10
HLR 13,8,8
Well, this has been one of the darkest weeks of my entire life—and it isn’t even over yet! Besides feeling yesterday and Tuesday like I had the flu and my dizziness and brain fog occasionally becoming worse than ever before, I experienced a very serious and disorienting wave of depression. As someone who can be pretty melancholy and angsty but has never been Depressed, it was… not good, the amount of times I thought about death and that I’ve wasted my life until this point. Thankfully, my spirits are slightly lifting. Despite these downsides that are sadly common when trying to recover from B12 deficiency, I feel the injections working and that my body is repairing itself. Confirming that I in fact have not had a neurodegenerative disorder since the summer has been nice.
Lucky you! I had nonstop spotting for maybe 6-7 weeks after insertion, nothing for a while, one uncharacteristically long period, and then another short one. The bleeding hasn’t been bad at all for me though. I remember you posting about that frequent bleeding you experienced before the IUD—weird, never had that happen to me before. I’m glad Mirena is also working out for you!
I do really wish I would have gotten an IUD in the first place… and, like, many years ago. I didn’t realize how bad my periods were beforehand. I thought I was just a wimp. Anyway, not having to take a pill is definitely awesome. I had to explain to someone recently why I can religiously supplement things daily like vitamin D and magnesium, but remembering to take a BC pill around the same time of day was so annoying to me. Not to mention that the one I tried sucked the life out of me, and I’m still dealing with those consequences
I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I’ve been in some bad places myself throughout my life. I hope things get leveled out for you. I hate being stuck in that darkness.
I never realized how badly my BC pills were affecting me until I stopped taking them when we decided to try for baby number 2. It was like I had a personality change. But I had been on them since I was around 16, so I never realized how badly they messed with me. I had an IUD for about 14 years and I loved it. It took a few months for everything to even out, but after that it was smooth sailing.
I’m not a medical doctor, but I cannot recommend becoming deficient in B12 I’ve been through things in my life that can be difficult to explain to others, but I think I (and probably you too) am a pretty resilient person. But with this it’s like the lights were turned off in my brain.
I previously had never taken oral BC long enough to experience major side effects. The pill I was taking contained a pretty high dose of hormone, but I actually didn’t suffer from some of the other downsides that many bemoan like weight gain, acne, etc. My mood wasn’t really affected by the hormone itself either. I immediately lost my period and welcomed the lack of hormonal fluctuations.
However, I can now see why so many become depressed on oral BC. Of course the hormones themselves can affect mood, but I am astounded by how quickly my brainpower was zapped given that I was on the pill for all of four months and it didn’t even contain any estrogen. In hindsight, I even developed symptoms of B12 deficiency about a month after starting it—chronic tinnitus, which made me think I had an ear infection (I’ve never had one before) and prompted me to visit a doctor’s office in Kazakhstan to get ear drops (and certainly made for a very interesting experience) I imagine a lot of people experience this (and subsequent depression) on oral BC because their doctors don’t tell them how the pill depletes nutrients.
I’m kind of torn. I am grateful that that pill managed my pain enough for me to go on such an important trip last year, and it probably held me over until surgery, but at the same time I feel like I’ve lost the past 6–7 months of my life…
AM
Ultimate PPL W2D3
Walked 1 mile at 9.6% incline in 16:10
Pull-ups 8,8,6
Lat pulldown 80x12
Cable row 80x2x11
DB lat pullover 15x15,13,13
Cable reverse fly 15,13,14
DB curl 40x9,8,9
Concentration curl 15x6; 10x2x12
Some suitcase carries with 55# DB
PM
Ran an easy 12.4 km in 71:21
More ramblings:
It’s amazing to not feel dizzy every day anymore. My sleep flip-flops between excessive and inadequate, and today I was woken by sciatic muscle spasms (in a good way). I was feeling the depleted iron stores a bit on the run, but overall I’m just so glad to get rid of the lightheadedness, which was awful already by end of October. My bradycardia is also becoming less severe.
Something else interesting: I became a bit of a late bloomer when it comes to proper skincare, having neglected sunscreen application throughout most of my twenties (boo). My best friend pointed out a couple months ago that I had developed some barely perceptible fine lines on my forehead. I have dry (but honestly nevertheless excellent) skin, so the lines started improving a little once I decided to stick religiously to my now twice-daily skincare routine. I even started tretinoin. Does my skin generally look better since making those changes? Yes. But oh boy, I have noticed significant improvement since starting these daily injections. Like, the static lines have almost completely vanished. Tret surely is potent, but, like, there is no way this is placebo. My friend thinks I’ve had these minor lines for a couple years already, which now makes me wonder if my B12 levels were actually not great for a long time, and the pill is simply what pushed my body over the edge.
The only bad thing about this now is that I keep bruising myself because I run out of injection sites given the frequency (even injected twice yesterday). Sometimes the bruises are painful. Oh well, I aim to halve my frequency within the coming weeks after my brain fog and bad mood dissipate more.
AM
Ultimate PPL W2D4
Pull-ups 8,7,7
Arnold press 40x3x12
DB RDL 100x10,8
Leg press 120x11,11,12
SA DB row 55x2x10
Push-ups 8,7
Cable abductor 14x13,13,11
Kneeling ab wheel 24,22
My self-prescribed B12 injections are really working. My brain still isn’t at 100%, but the bad spells are becoming less frequent and severe. Also, no doctor believes me, so I’m spending hundreds on ampoules shipped from the UK. Yay.
I PR’ed on something for the first time in ages a few days ago! I did 13 pull-ups! In a row! I’ve never hit the teens before. Thanks, weight loss…
Bad news:
I’m pretty sure I broke a toe again. The one next to my pinky toe this time. I’m pissed. It’s weird because I initially thought it was just a sprain after I knocked it against a bike stand this morning. I didn’t even cry. But this afternoon it started hurting more and became discolored. This is incredibly annoying. I guess 4-5 weeks of no running and very little walking. The bike and elliptical are calling my name. At least I can work from home for the foreseeable future.
I’m under a lot of pressure to find a job right now. My advisor cannot afford to keep me around past late summer most likely; we can apply for a small grant, but nothing is guaranteed, especially given the hostility of the current regime. Plus my lease expires in a few months, and given my uncertainty, I’ll probably have to pay rent month-to-month, which will become very expensive and make it even harder for me to save money. So, now I’m frantically trying to find a job in Germany, even considering things I don’t really want to do. This is my main project, and it’s becoming existential to say the least.
I’ve still been training, though I’m so occupied by these things that I’m not sure if I’ll catch up on entries I’ve missed.
.
I’ve been through things in my life that can be difficult to explain to others, but I think I (and probably you too) am a pretty resilient person. But with this it’s like the lights were turned off in my brain.
