Happy cake day!
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Thanks, I despise my birthday though 
Just figured out I can delete it from my profile, so that’s what I just did finally.
4 Likes
Dan John’s latest podcast, he talks about resentment over missed opportunities, and to sum it up he says “I wasn’t ready then”.
SO deep.
I just listened to it and then read this so it resonated.
Different context, same point.
Could you just pick a new date of significance, and use it as a “birthday” so the congratulations come on a more auspicious day?
Like maybe the anniversary of some major academic milestone or of a life-changing surgery…
IDK.
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Thanks for this! I’m going to listen to this one soon, haven’t listened to Dan in a while.
I see what you’re saying, and I think those dates are definitely ingrained in my brain for at least a little while, hahaha.
It’s just a terrible adoptee thing. Nothing will ever fully take away from the weight of it all, unfortunately. It’s hard to describe, and I never want to celebrate it. At the very least I’m feeling the least negative today compared to all the other times in my twenties.
2 Likes
1/5
Pure Bodybuilding W7D3
Walked 1.2 miles at 11% incline in 19:32
Arnold press 40x12,11,9; 30x10
Pull-ups 10,10,7 (think this is the first time I’ve ever done double digits more than once in a single session)
Cable row 90x3x8
Cable y-raise 6x9,8; 0x16
Concentration curl 15x3x9
Cable reverse fly 3xmechanical dropsets
Suitcase carry 55x2 sets
Then went on an existential 8-mile walk
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Amazing pullup performance!
Lol i totally love this, and get it. But thats a lot of work!
Someday I’d like to pick up our conversation. Its been a few years and some developments have occurred… I would love your perspective, but I respect that it might not be an easy thing for you to share advice or perspective on. She’s 9 now.
You’re doing amazing here!
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I always enjoy seeing the photos of your family that you share and am happy to chat! Despite my stance on my situation and on adoption in general. I haven’t felt this is the correct platform for me to expand on that, so I haven’t really, but I hope that you don’t feel I am hostile toward you or something like that. Not sure if you still have my email, but if so, feel free to send me a message whenever.
Thanks for the words! You’ve had quite the 2025 too it seems 
1 Like
1/6
Pure Bodybuilding W7D4
Walked 1.1 miles at 10.4% incline in 17:44
Seated leg curl 80x7,9,8
Walking lunge 40x2 sets
Paused DB RDL 100x2x7
HLR 2x10
Cable hip adduction 10x18,16,18
Cable hip abduction 14x12,11,12
9 Likes
1/7
Ran 10.3 km in 57:09
1/9
Pure Bodybuilding W8D1
Walked 2 miles at 11.2% incline in 33:17
Pull-ups 8,7,6
Low incline DB bench 60x3x8
Felt bad today, called it there.
1/10
Pure Bodybuilding W8D2
Seated leg curl 80x8,8,9
BB reverse lunge 70x6,5,5; 60x8
Cable adductor 14x12,12,13
Leg extensions 60x13,13,12
1/11
Ran 9.2 km in 49:32
1/12
Pure Bodybuilding W8D3
Walked 1.2 miles at 11.4% incline in 19:11
Arnold press 40x12,10,11
Pull-ups 9,8,7
Cable row 90x3x7
Cable y-raise 6x8; 0x15,14
Concentration curl 15x3x8
Cable reverse fly 3xmechanical dropsets
Walked/jogged 1 mile at 10.8% incline in 14:30
1/13
Pure Bodybuilding W8D4
Seated leg curl 80x8,7,8
Walking lunge 40x2 sets
Paused DB RDL 100x2x7
Cable hip adduction 14x12,13,14
1/14
Ran 8 km in 41:28. Did some threshold intervals
Fell behind there a bit! I actually felt awful from what I suspect is a persistent B12 deficiency that probably requires more aggressive treatment than I’ve expected. I was suffering from pretty bad cognitive symptoms, like I had early form of dementia or something. I’m actually getting consistent injections for the next while. I blame the BC I was on from April until August or so. I’m on the mend though. Also dealt with lots of work drama, had to break my colleague’s heart while we were at a microscope today. Was pretty awkward.
9 Likes
1/16
Pure Bodybuilding W9D1
Walked 0.75 miles at 9.5% incline in 12:02
Low incline DB press 60x3x8
Pull-ups 8,7,7
Incline chest-supported DB row 40x12,14,11
Cable behind-the-back lateral raise 0x17,14,14
Dual-cable tricep press 10x12,11,10
Ran/walked 2.8 miles at 6.8% incline in 33:22
7 Likes
1/17
Pure Bodybuilding W9D2
Seated leg curl 60x13,10,9
BB reverse lunge 70x6,6,5
Cable adductor 14x11,11,13
Leg extensions 60x12,11,11
1/18
Ran 13.4 km in 1:12:44
1/19
Pure Bodybuilding W9D3
Walked 1.5 miles at 9.9% incline in 23:57
Arnold press 40x14,12,10
Pull-ups 9,8,8
Cable row 90x3x8
Cable y-raise 6x9,8; 0x12,8
Concentration curl 15x8,8,9
Cable reverse fly 3xmechanical dropsets
Walked 1.15 miles at 8.9% incline in 18:29
1/20
Pure Bodybuilding W9D4
Walked 1 mile at 9.4% incline in 16:14
Seated leg curl 80x3x8
Walking lunge 40x2 sets
Paused DB RDL 100x8,7
Cable abductor 18x8,8; 14x10
Dual-cable tricep press 10x12,11,10
Walked 2.5 miles at 10.1% incline in 39:37
1/21
Ran 7.32 km with some sprints in 49:49
1/22
Pure Bodybuilding W10D1
Walked 2.5 miles at 10.1% incline in 40:00
Pull-ups 9,7,8
Low incline DB bench 60x10,8,6
Chest-supported DB row 50x11,10,9
Cable behind-the-back lateral raise 0x18,14,13
Dual-cable tricep press 10x12,11,10
It’s been A Week. Got very weird and off-putting email that made me extremely uncomfortable from the colleague I rejected, so I had to consult my advisor and potentially escalate everything, but it seems like everyone involved is on the same page and everything will be okay. This whole thing went on for five weeks and was actually very overwhelming. My advisor was glad I shared and definitely thinks I was experiencing harassment, so there’s that.
On the other hand, I had a revelation: I have been deficient not in B12 but rather folate this whole time. I figured out why I have felt like I have dementia for at least seven months, hooray. It’s not because I can’t tolerate thyroid medication. I felt awful earlier this week: chills, dizzy, lightheaded. Like I was drunk every day. The B12 injections didn’t help me much, so I popped a few folate supplements and it’s like I can feel my brain remodeling itself now. Very annoying because I went to see a PCP yesterday (not the DPC physician who has been very cooperative with me, but I figured I may as well get a second opinion since I can with my new health insurance) and they totally dismissed me, almost insisting that I have chronic fatigue syndrome even though my symptoms and blood panel reflect a nutritional deficiency since I’ve been borderline anemic for way too long with high ferritin, felt like I was developing dementia, and could clearly trace the changes in my mental state to the BC pill I took. I never wanted to fully believe it, but I do think most doctors suck.
11 Likes
Wowza! The hits keep on coming. You seem to be able to deal with them pretty well though, and your tone sounds positive, which is a good sign.
I hadn’t caught up here for about a week so I missed the first mention of it, but damn, having to reject a coworker sounds awful. I get it that most relationships actually start in the workplace, but… what an awful place to try to start a relationship lol. And have to deal with the drama if its rejected or if it eventually doesn’t work out. Yikes.
Since I’m here, I’ll just drop an update on our stuff. We’re starting her with a therapist, who specializes in Trauma. interestingly the therapist is trained in EMDR which I’m fascinated by, no idea if it’s effective IRL but sounds cool.
Meanwhile things have been pretty tough (for us as parents - so obviously tough for her too). But we’re getting by.
And yes, unrelatedly to the above, I never wanted to believe “most doctors suck”, but honestly it’s beginning to look that way.
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It was really awkward and in a dark room with only one entrance in a basement. It was awful when he started crying. I thought he’d get over it, but damn, the weird email had me thinking he was plotting to stab me or something, so I’ve decided to not come to work by myself on the weekend anymore.
Yeah… honestly, I already err strongly toward dating someone whose work has nothing to do with mine for various reasons, but I think this experience really tips the scale. He said earlier this month he wouldn’t mind if I didn’t like him in that way and that we could return to being strictly professional. That turned out to be total BS. I don’t think I’ll ever entertain a situation like this ever again. I shouldn’t have been so nice to him. We’re both leaving the institution sooner rather than later, so no real long-term harm done.
This week was A Time, but I promise you my weekend is very free, so I’ll reach out to you tomorrow or Sunday.
That’s super! I actually did EMDR for maybe a year or so and was still in the thick of it until my provider went on maternity leave in May. I haven’t resumed therapy for various reasons, mostly financial. I’ll admit that it’s not what has made the biggest difference for me, but what I needed/still need is something that therapy alone cannot achieve. At the same time, I think EMDR was probably more helpful for me than I had already expected. I would gladly resume it. If you’re curious about it, you can find some self-administered EMDR videos on YouTube. Of course everyone is different, but EMDR seems to help a lot of adoptees.
I’m so sorry. I’m interested to learn more, but for now, I can say this: at least you guys are actually being proactive and trying. I wish my adoptive parents would have been thoughtful like this.
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1/23
I’ve been craving a hard session on the trainer lately. This was definitely it. Somehow my performance has increased a lot (lots of power PRs lately, above is just one of them) even though I’m cycling much less often than I was a year ago and trying to mix running and cycling (not even that seriously). I think hitting legs twice a week consistently has helped a bit, but also the thyroid meds seem to contribute as well (even though I got more bloodwork this morning showing that my hormone levels are still quite low ). It just feels smoother and in general my joints aren’t as stiff anymore, a symptom I near realized until a couple months ago. I’m still very much an amateur on the bike though, so improvement is to be expected. I’m trying to decide if I should lean back into cycling more than running again, but I feel good balancing them as is right now.
10 Likes
1/24
Pure Bodybuilding W10D2
Walked 2 miles at 11.1% incline in 31:06
Seated leg curl 70x13,11,9
BB reverse lunge 70x7,6,6
Leg extensions 60x3x10
Cable adductor 14x16,15,14
Cable abductor 18,9,10,8
Walked 3.3 miles at 9.3% incline in 53:00
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It looks delicious!!
1 Like
1/26
Pure Bodybuilding W10D3
DB press 50x9,7,8
Pull-ups 9,8,9
Cable row 90x9,8,8
Cable y-raise 0x17,13,13
Cable reverse fly 3xmechanical dropsets
Zottman curl 30x13,11,9
I had to make some adjustments because both benches were taken today. Crazy that I’m almost done with this program already. After the last session I’ll probably fool around once or twice in the gym, which will be followed by a Break because on Saturday I’m going on vacation for the first time in a while. I expect to do tons of walking and hiking, maybe also some running while I’m there. Weird to think that I haven’t gone on vacation since June, but at the same time I spent a lot of time not working at my job but instead dealing with my life problems. I’m excited to relax and enjoy nicer weather.
Also, very thankful to have the trainer when it’s so cold outside. I haven’t gone outside in over 72 hours.
It’s been nice to feel my cognitive abilities to come back, albeit slowly. I was finally able to focus for a few hours on my work today. I almost canceled my trip because I couldn’t figure out what’s wrong with me. I’m taking lots of methylfolate now. I guess it will take several weeks to “recover.”
11 Likes
Whats your overall impression of it?
Did you like the change up of training style?