FWIW, I agree.
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All kinds of PRs going on in here!
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Yeah, I think so too. I’m not upset about it. 
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Congrats once more on a new PR!
Where’s this apathy coming from you reckon?
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Preach! I think most of us feel this way, but, with the benefit of hindsight in terms of lifting it makes it easier to move forward.
Gotta work on that strong(wo)man hitch, you totally had the third rep.
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Thanks!
A few things. Firstly, the political situation continues to disturb me. I don’t feel control in a large and important portion of my life and self as a result. Secondly, I am mentally very tired of working right now even though I have a lot of it ahead of me. I am counting down the days until I finally go on vacation and not think about it.
So, it comes from life.
Hahaha, it does look like I let it slip away from me a bit.
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Woot! so at or over 1.8 x BW on this lift?.. awesome!!!
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Something like that. I think I weigh under 130, but I don’t know for sure.
Can relate. I know you’ve invested a lot in equipment but maybe some time off can spark the fire anew? I just decided to go on a calisthenics block for an undecided amount of time until I want to do barbell work again. I’m not saying “do that” but maybe reframe your goals to something that’s adjacent so that you get a sense of progression again.
If your overhead press won’t budge, maybe your 1-arm KB Bottoms up press will. Or getting strong at turkish get-up. Or join the mace craze.
Did you explore those thoughts with a therapist? Or maybe less ‘drastic’, do you apply any regulation to your news and media usage? ‘Doom scrolling’ can have a negative effect on the psyche.
Yeah this is a reoccurring topic that’s very understandable. Did you explore all options that could improve either the situation or your perception of it?
Yeeey! The big overseas one? Or a smaller one? Have a great time and hopefully you’ll get to relax a bit!
Finally there is something that my therapist taught me a while ago, that may be obvious to others but it was kind of an eye opener to me, so I’m going to share it anyway. I was dealing the ill effects of too much stress and the afterwards of that and my mood and affect were greatly influenced by that and I felt powerless to change that. He explained to me that our ‘perception’ (I’m lacking the appropriate vocabulary right now) is made up of three things:
Two of those things are relatively passive and are influenced in huge parts by circumstance. We can temporarily suppress feelings, but not control them. We can’t control our thoughts either. They come and go. The thing that we can influence are our actions. Through which we can influence circumstance, which allows feelings and thoughts to change.
To bring this back to my situation I told him I was constantly angry and on the verge of an outburst (which would be quite an unusual sight because I am usually very collected) if work even came up as a topic or thought. I was overwhelmed, viewed everything negatively (not only work, this swapped over to everything) and felt like I was at risk of slipping back into greater depressive symptoms once more.
To my surprise he told me that there is nothing I can really do about this negative mindset right now. I just had to accept that this is my designated state of mind for a short period of time. As well as my feelings of anger and being overwhelmed. My only chance to change those would be through my behavior and to accept my thoughts and feeling for a little while.
Now I was in the luxurious position that this period of great stress was (somewhat) timely limited. I know it’s more difficult in your case. Nevertheless I found his explanations to be helpful and behavioral changes helped me to eventually turn things around.
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I’ll take off almost two weeks in May, which might help.
I think adding in the loaded carries has made things a bit more interesting for me lately. I would never be able to not train, of course, and I still take the hobby seriously. Still, I would not be surprised if my mind subconsciously tells me that training should not take up as much space in my life as it usually does. Either way, I think in the short term it’s okay to listen to that given my circumstances (e.g. thesis proposal only months away, for starters). Plus I believe that life is seasonal.
I have been thinking about shaking things up equipment-wise though – selling my assault bike and buying another kettlebell or maybe even a weighted vest. Dunno. Definitely things to consider, thanks!
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A couple of people have suggested this to me, namely a friend who knocked some sense into me earlier this month. I don’t disagree with them – I know that’s a scary thing to think, read, and write. But I still owe money from surgery, so I don’t want to take on more medical bills right now.
I am very aware of this and identify as someone who otherwise does not read any news whatsoever. However, I feel too personally connected to what’s happening to look away. Thankfully it’s not as bad as it was a month ago (watching live streams at work… yikes).
Obviously I am not over there, and I live a comfortable life. But for what it’s worth, I gave a complete stranger a glimpse into how things affect me, and she was genuinely heartbroken on my behalf.
I am going to my friend’s wedding earlier in the month and, if I don’t get infected with COVID there (fingers crossed), to Germany the following week. Excited is an understatement. I have probably said this a million times, but it was bittersweet and strange to have studied German for nearly half of my life without ever going there. So, I think this trip will help!
Honestly, this is essentially where I am right now. I would be surprised if I did not feel out of control because I indeed have absolutely no control over the situation. I think this crisis is “worth” feeling bad over in my position, and my friends agree. It does not happen often, but when things are bad, I remind myself that they will be even worse at some point in the future. That sounds morbid, but it comforts me in a way.
It’s not that I don’t believe in therapy. After all, I often suggest this to friends of mine who are struggling and request my input, and I genuinely do not think it would be a bad idea for me in general. I’m not ruling it out by any means, especially if I still feel terrible in mid-summer. But I almost feel like having someone help me reframe current events so that they are maybe not so bad would be disingenuous on my own behalf. I feel like I have the right to mourn and grieve – of course these things and therapy aren’t mutually exclusive – but essentially I am okay wallowing in this mess for a bit before anyone else gets involved.
Hey, never belittle your struggles. I know you have been through many things, and even if you had not been, it doesn’t make much sense to me in most cases to claim that things are more or less difficult for someone else. Even if it did, I imagine I could easily argue the opposite. Life sucks at least some of the time for most people lol
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences!
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I have a lot of thoughts on a lot of this but to avoid disrupting my whole day (lol) I’ll just say, I think your framing of therapy is a bit unfair/naive. Therapists don’t reframe events, they don’t remove the right to mourn and grieve, they certainly don’t limit wallowing (my cry rate is like 29x higher in therapy than in normal life). They just give you the toolset to allow you to see the events in different lights while mourning and grieving in a way that helps you understand why you are mourning and grieving.
Not saying you need to go or even that you should but if you do, go with an open mind. I 100% misunderstood therapy until I was in it.
Fair. I probably contradicted myself in that post more than I suspect.
I suppose it’s overall more “my desire to not want to take on more medical bills is greater than my desire to not feel upset most days for the next few months.”
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That’s completely reasonable. Part of the reason that the fandom around therapy annoys me is that it’s described as a blanket that solves all problems for all people. Which conveniently ignores the fact that economic stressors are a huge contributor to stress and therapy isn’t a realistic economic option for an enormous percent of the people who would benefit from it.
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3/31
OLAD W3D1
Push press from the floor
75x5
80x3
85x1, failed the second rep /:
50 band pull aparts
Split 3 mile run. First 3k to my client’s place and finished the rest afterwards. 23:44 running time.
I planned to take a rest day today, but I came home from work early and decided to squeeze this in despite fatigue from those deadlifts. Oh well, was ultimately probably the right decision to move up a day because it would be tough for me to squeeze in a Saturday session.
Leaning toward starting a three-day 5/3/1 template after I wrap up OLAD. Will start sifting through Forever to find something that’s manageable over the next 5-6 weeks.
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4/1
OLAD W3D2
Pullup
+10x5
+15x3
+20x2 PR (I think)
+25x2 PR
10 min 80# sandbag carry
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3 things:
-I’ve done OLAD, but i never thought to have a pullup-only day. That would be brutal!
-that bag carry is serious work! Are you dropping occasionally or carrying the whole time? Usually you mention a pushup penalty
-things have improved dramatically with my daughter. Unbelievable well, in fact. But reading something you mentioned a few days ago reminds me that we need to bring attention back to her home country/culture eventually, and embrace it more. Haven’t focused on that lately. It clearly matters a lot in your case. If you don’t mind, how old were you when you came? You probably told me…
It’s actually the simplest day for me because I can prep for my work day in between sets!
Oh, dropping occasionally for sure. It’s why I often estimate the distance I carried the bag during the set time frame. An extra 10-15 pounds make a big difference here. I think the pushups and carries pair well together. I didn’t feel like doing them today though, haha.
That made me smile! Stoked to read that. Must feel wonderful for not only your daughter but also your whole family.
I don’t know what you need to do, if anything. Maybe it is never embraced, and things turn out okay. Every situation is different. Anecdotally, I was not interested until my junior high years.
Still, I think having those opportunities to discuss and potentially dive deeper are helpful in more cases than not. I did not have those. Something I would have also appreciated – having logistical things in order, or at least understanding them, if she ever wants to explore all this. Requires homework, but a little bit goes a long way when it comes to not being in the dark later.
I can’t fault myself for the timing because I did all I could without dilly-dallying. But when/if the desire and emotional maturity are there, I say go. I think we are all aware of how uncertain the world is by now – you/she will never know when the possiblity is gone.
Yes, thanks for acknowledging that. Seven-ish months.
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4/3
Hilly 2 mile run 15:27
50 band pull aparts
Thinking more and more about getting rid of my assault bike. Even though it is nice to have on those rare occasions when winter becomes an obstacle here, I feel like I didn’t use it very much over the past year. Hmm.
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