Snap you have to remember i have always been on the super thin side, then i got more lean but with some muscle
maybe its a slow adjustment. Picture yourself with 10 lbs on, we would think you look great, im guessing, but would take you some adjusting.
Im trying to embrace being softer, oddly its not that easy.
PG you just like women, for that your an ok guy.
Besides the jeans shot distracted you guys from the squats 
Hey Up!
I think you sometimes have to remember we are all our own worst critic, so in a way take your opinion about your body image with a grain of salt. In this instance you should really care about what other people think, because there going to tell you the truth and the inner Up is gonna be way to critical. Not sure if Im making sense.
There aint no fucking muffin top going onā¦you look pretty damn awesome!
I was reading Paul Carterās blog and he gave me a good cue about the Knee issue with the squat, he said that while on the ascent think about unhinging your hips when lifting the weight, this has helped me with my knees going forward and staying more upright.
LOL! You look so amazing lean OR soft!! So whatever makes you feel good, just know that you will always be a gorgeous, gorgeous creature - muffin top or not. Mmā¦muffinsā¦someone please feed me. sob
And I do agree with you, there is a period of adjustment to the physical changes. A lot of the PWers are comfortable with these changes. Just look at Hallie and Frenchie in PW, they work it like nobodies business - soft, lean and muscular. And for that their a total inspiration! But Iām much like yourself, iām also still constantly adjusting to my physical changes. Except unlike you I whine about it on my log and all over the place. Lol! So I feel ya girl. But just think, you know how to put on weight and lean out - you can just as easily make changes to get to where you want to be.
And I also do understand about the spouses not āgetting itā - especially the logging, or as my guy says, āyour internet friendsā HAH! Heās such an attention whore eye roll
Anyways, I donāt want to hijack your log (Iām so sorry!!), but hereās just something I wanted to share. In 2009, right before I got on TN, I started lifting using Lou Schulerās book āLift like a man, look like a goddess.ā Half way through the program I actually wrote Mr. Schuler because I was absolutely freaked out by the changes my body was going through! It seems irrational in hindsight, but my physical changes coupled with the reactions of my man, my family and friends, totally freaked me out. And you know what? He actually wrote me back! And of all the things he wrote, this is the just one of the many things that has always stuck in my mind, especially when I start feeling a bit āmehā about myself and my training. He wrote:
āLook at your body like itās your superpower. Use it when you need it, but keep it under wraps when you donāt. You own it, but it doesnāt own you. Itās a wonderful, remarkable gift, but it doesnāt define who you are.ā
I always liked that.
Have a wonderful Christmas, my dear! Enjoy all that wonderful fish!
And nice squatting!! Form is looking good! Congrats 
[quote]Mascherano wrote:
āLook at your body like itās your superpower. Use it when you need it, but keep it under wraps when you donāt. You own it, but it doesnāt own you. Itās a wonderful, remarkable gift, but it doesnāt define who you are.ā
[/quote]
Love it! Can I steal that?
Ahhh what a great way to end the year, great E-Friends right here to shake me UP!!
Matty I am quite critical, but I also want to be careful I dont get too carried away. Ill try your little
āenvision yourselfā trick with the knees. I may nee someone to just whack me with a big stick when i do it.
Mash You hit the nail on the head, I think the changes my body has had, sometimes leave me scratching my head
(or ass depending on the day) Seriously I ate like a king and queen and gained, and now i go back and forth if I like what I see.
I need to stop looking back at pics. I know I have the will power to dial it in, but second guess that theory.
YES the girls you mentioned look so so good, power to them for owning what they are creating!
Super cool he wrote you back, and with strong words to live by. Thanks Mashy, Your da best!
I know you are trying not to tip any back, so I will have one for you
COLIN You liked that, Im sure she wont mind. How have you adjusted to the new you? Has all the feed back
been positive? Its probably different for men.
No training today, the mom in law is a shop to you drop type, and I am the opposite, so Im dead. Presents are wrapped, so thats cool!
Im going to get up eat and hit the training before all the cooking begins.
Matty said it best in his post to all of usā¦
Happy Holidays Every
Lots of positive feedback. The only negative is in my own head. It was a difficult realization that my size was allot of fat. Changing my whole training philosophy sucked too. It was hard being pushed way out of my comfort zone, I fought it the whole way. Literally argued with Roman that this type of training was way to gay for meā¦lol
Still getting used to the new body. Still things I donāt like but I am not sure you ever really are satisfied with how you look. Itās the human conditionā¦
Now I am trying to figure out what to do next, theres this ADAU meet in March. It would be interesting to do the meet and see what the results are a year later and 60 pounds lighter!
Have an awesome X-MAS and lighten up on your self Girl! You look awesome and your training is on point!
[quote]Colin Wilson wrote:
Lots of positive feedback. The only negative is in my own head. It was a difficult realization that my size was allot of fat. Changing my whole training philosophy sucked too. It was hard being pushed way out of my comfort zone, I fought it the whole way. Literally argued with Roman that this type of training was way to gay for meā¦lol
Still getting used to the new body. Still things I donāt like but I am not sure you ever really are satisfied with how you look. Itās the human conditionā¦
Now I am trying to figure out what to do next, theres this ADAU meet in March. It would be interesting to do the meet and see what the results are a year later and 60 pounds lighter!
Have an awesome X-MAS and lighten up on your self Girl! You look awesome and your training is on point!
[/quote]
Colin thast great on the feedback.
This is how I ātryā to think about it.(It being looking a certain way, or not being exactly what I hoped for/want)
If i put everything Ive got into training, eat to perform, etc. I can only be happy with what the package is. There is no room for disappointment. I do think I tend to set my expectations a little on the unreachable side, but it keeps me motivated.
I dont know If ive been hard on myself, I think I go back and forth on what looks good on me.
I can only be proud of my accomplishments, and keep enjoying the ride!
Lol on the trainer push back.
You are doing great things, keep powering on.
Training today
warm up lots of it, dang its cold here.
free motion machine = FM
FM shoulder press 3x12 20lbs
front raise DBS arms together 10s 3x12
FM lat pull 40 12 reps, 50/12, 40/12
seated row 48/12 53/10 58/2x10
single arm tri kick back 15s 4x12 alt r/l
preacher curl 15s 3x12 ,
combo
lat pull down 3x12 48 1x10 48 (missed my chest on 2 reps, so not counting them)
lying tri with the curl bar no weight 3x12 1x9 fatigue set in and they just gave out.
double bi curl 15s 3x12, 1x9 ----> arms were done
WHOA the Free motion machines are sneaky, starts out ok then the build up, awesome!
the last combo 4 was a little much, arms were gassed, and quite jacked up 
I think Im gonna like this stuff!
Training
Trying not to crash this month
More of a deload type week
Deads
95/5
115/5
135/5
1555
165/3x5
Form felt as good as ever.
Sumo
115/5
135/5
155/2x5
165/2x5
Legs feeling strong.
Thats it! Had to make dinner. Have in laws in town and son has a friend that flew in for week, busy house.
SUMO should have gone upstairs for my chucks, they are more stable then the ones i wore. Need to sit back in heels more, working on keeping that arch, and a couple other tweaks, but for being rusty Ill take this, the most Ive done sumo, and it felt fairly light.
I think this is 135, def. 155, and 165
Nice work on the deads! Do you prefer one to the other - conv to sumo?
I always heard that sumo is good for tall people, but Iām as short as all get out and i quite like sumo better.
Interestingly, the only cue that helps me to keep a back arch is āretracting my lats.ā I may have said this before, but Iām not good with people telling me NOT do things like, ādonāt lose back arch.ā That means nothing to me. But āretract your latsā somehow makes sense. Lol!
Glad your finding some Up time in a busy house!
[quote]Mascherano wrote:
Nice work on the deads! Do you prefer one to the other - conv to sumo?
I always heard that sumo is good for tall people, but Iām as short as all get out and i quite like sumo better.
Interestingly, the only cue that helps me to keep a back arch is āretracting my lats.ā I may have said this before, but Iām not good with people telling me NOT do things like, ādonāt lose back arch.ā That means nothing to me. But āretract your latsā somehow makes sense. Lol!
Glad your finding some Up time in a busy house! [/quote]
Hmmm, I actually like them bothā¦
I feel more ābad-assā doing conventional. Sumo is ācontrolledā, and thats a pretty cool feeling also. I think I will like the muscles sumo is hitting, really makes me use my legs.
YESS on the ques, i know my shoulders werent set just right, but its been so long, I did forget some ques. For some reason hump the bar wasnt forgotten
I was being careful though, still have that tight ham/glute tie in feeling going on.
As you see I hold some fat in my arms too, be glad to burn that shit outa there! Im still forging forward with eating. I have plenty of time to eat strict, and only a few pounds to lose, so I should be fine. Im trying to stay fairly lean, as long as my abs are in view i feel comfortable.
I know you are deloading your Pups now, Ill have to keep checking to see when you crush your goal!
Yeah, I like them both too, technically. I just know Iām stronger in sumo. lol! Thatās bad, I know. But yeah, conventional is entirely BA!
Also, dude, a few pounds is chump change! I realized that for myself, in about 2 weeks I can lean out fairly quickly just by limiting my carbs <100g a day and cals to about 1800 with some extra HIIT here and thereā¦youāll see! And agreed with the abs in view. Thereās definitely something to being āsoftā vs. (and I hate to say it) āsloppy fatā. Iām no (real) scientist, but I think once you got a good base of muscle mass, dropping body fat is all the more easier. So yeah. Keep building and then watch the fat melt away. Youāre gonna be even MORE killer! If thatās even possibleā¦
Btw, Iāve had a some sort of pull in my glute/ham tie in for MONTHS!! Ever since i started PT. I donāt know what to do about it and it never ābothersā me - in fact its kinda normal nowā¦I should look into that. In fact, iāve had this in the past before and it also took months to go away. What are you doing for your tight feeling?
And donāt bother checking in on the pullups. lol! Iāll be doing the final go-round on 12/31. Yeah bay-bee!
Nice looking Deads Upā¦I find sumo so hard! I sometimes do them as a change of pace and I am putrid at them. I dont see any extra fat on your arms, your crazy.
Mash Yea Im sure it is a matter of weeks, but Ive never ever had to āloseā fluff before, new territory, but its been worth it getting some more muscle. Girl I had better be more Killer, or IMA be PISSED!! SERIOUS here.
As far as the issue with that spot, I actually forget its there till I go to pull and am reminded, so sadly
I only remember to give it a good stretch for a few days till i forget again. I remember exactly when I did it
I was doing GMs trying to feel it more in lower back, but gave a huge stretch and felt it in my glutes. Then I felt it dling, so Im just paranoid now. I guess I will keep stretching and rolling it. Thats one of my weak spots apparently.
AND I will be checking in, just never know when you are going to throw up a sexay pic !
Matty Dude your too sweet, its there, but luckily so is some muscle to distract me from getting too puckered.
I tell ya what though, Im gonna snap some pics at the gym in a few weeks, cause I get such a nice pump going, Im still sore in my tris from my last arm training. I think the curl bar throw things really did them in. Gonna need a spotter when I get adding the plates.
By the looks of your physique in these pictures and videos, Iām sure you can achieve any look your reaching for.
When my wife met me ātrainingā was a already a big part of who I was. As weāve seen our peers lifestyles adversely effect them after the big 40 hit she appreciates and supports me even more. Iām pretty lucky that way.
[quote]HARA wrote:
By the looks of your physique in these pictures and videos, Iām sure you can achieve any look your reaching for.
When my wife met me ātrainingā was a already a big part of who I was. As weāve seen our peers lifestyles adversely effect them after the big 40 hit she appreciates and supports me even more. Iām pretty lucky that way.[/quote]
Hara Yea I know what you mean about people after 40, maybe even sooner.
Nice to know your wife appreciates your body. Its not that my husband wont support me,he
just doesnt quite get why i am so into it.
TRAINING TODAY
BENCH
.
I was in a mood/temperament that was a toss up between pissed and spicyā¦
BENCH
warm up the y W L T thing etc
45/10
65/8
75/5
85/3
90/1 vid
97/1 vid PR+4
101/1 vid PR+8
103.3 FAIL
103.3 vid PR+fucking 10 YEA BABY!! not the prettiest but I got it ā> yup still a little spiced up lol
Crazy thing was I didnt eat much today, then had a decent dinner, then trained shortly after. No surge no nothing. All that rep work paid off!!! New GOAL since my last one was 100 is body weight by summer maybe my birthday, July.
BIG GIGANTIC THANKS TO G1, thanks for figuring out āwhat to put on the bar next?ā
Great liftāway to gut it out. Congrats on the PR!
[quote]EyeDentist wrote:
Great liftāway to gut it out. Congrats on the PR![/quote]
THANKS Im so excited I cant sleep!!