Assaulted by Stepson-to-be

Off Topic
121

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

I’ve got a long history with the game bred pitbull and have some connection or another to most of the infamous american breeders (“dogmen”). I see them slightly different and I have personally been around and in contact with 1000’s of pitbulls. 1000’s. The true disposition of a properly bred APBT is one of submissiveness toward human and intolerance to other animals. As such, the generally make terrible “guard dogs”. My greatest fear with my dogs is not them getting loose and biting a human, but being stolen by a human. We may be saying the same thing when you say “sensitive” and I say “submissive”. And they should be submissive - it’s 200 years of selective breeding. They are wonderful dogs. The only other dogs I will feed and own are the small game terriers (patterdales - I hunt small game with them) and I have owned dogo arentinos for the last 15 years (I like to boar hunt). There is no finer animal than a well bred american pitbull terrier and there is virtually nothing they cannot do. [/quote]

Yeah, I think we are basically saying the same thing. When I used to live in Racine, WI I screened PB’s at the shelter. I have seen dogs literally scarred from head to toe that no one would ever adopt that just wanted to curl up next to you and be loved.

Dude, that’s part of what makes them a huge responsibility. You basically have to insure they never get loose and you have to watch them very carefully around other dogs.

122

Where’s the OP?

What’s the verdict?

UPDATE THE PEOPLE!

123

I know plenty of friends who have step parents, I have been extremely fortunate in that I was raised in a secure loving household by two very loving and caring people. I know a few guys and girls who have been VERY unlucky when it came to their parents choice of partners.

One of my best friends would quite happily knife his step father or worse if he thought he could get away with, and rightly so-a 240LB man who routinely head-butted his 120LB wife in front of her five children deserves to be fed to BG’s pitt bulls IMHO. What he wouldn’t do though, is kick his own mothers ass. What concerns me most about the OP is this young man, who obviously is of a violent disposition, which could possibly be innate but could easily be a result of conditioning, feels it is acceptable to manhandle his own mother. Most boys hate, or at least resent their stepfathers purely because they are not their ‘real’ fathers.

I personally do not think that the OP has disclosed all of the details to us, there is definitely much more to this-the boys background, mothers previous partners, the OP’s relationship and interactions with the OP leading up to the incident…

I do not think that having the boys ass kicked is the solution-tit for tat will not actually solve anything-although the only currency this young man may understand is violence. Perhaps his real father or one/some of his mothers previous partners may be able to shed some light on this? It would probably be the most effective way to prevent this kind of thing from happening again though-although not coming directly from the OP himself may trigger a ‘retaliatory’ attack in which the OP may find himself surrounded by the entire football team…

I also do not think that prison would help him, the conviction will impose serious restrictions on his future choices (as has been discussed in some length already by people who know much more than me about this) It is unlikely that he will undergo any kind of ‘reform’ there either-kind of defeating the object really (especially for his first offense) Having said this, if he doesn’t learn that other members society will not accept him reacting towards people with this level of intolerance then he will soon find himself in trouble.

I’m not sure what the solution is here, based on what we know, I think the OP should go to the police, not press charges, but report what happened, then let the kid know on no uncertain terms that if this happens again charges will be pressed-not everyone is geared for confrontation as BG pointed out-and nothing really good can come out of it. If violence solved everything then surely there would be no problems left in the world?

So far this MAY well prevent another fight between the OP and his step son, but will not resolve the kids fundamental problems, I’m not sure what the real solution is…

124

[quote]WestCoast7 wrote:
Where’s the OP?

What’s the verdict?

UPDATE THE PEOPLE![/quote]

x2! Is Op in jail or what?

125

[quote]apwsearch wrote:

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

I’ve got a long history with the game bred pitbull and have some connection or another to most of the infamous american breeders (“dogmen”). I see them slightly different and I have personally been around and in contact with 1000’s of pitbulls. 1000’s. The true disposition of a properly bred APBT is one of submissiveness toward human and intolerance to other animals. As such, the generally make terrible “guard dogs”. My greatest fear with my dogs is not them getting loose and biting a human, but being stolen by a human. We may be saying the same thing when you say “sensitive” and I say “submissive”. And they should be submissive - it’s 200 years of selective breeding. They are wonderful dogs. The only other dogs I will feed and own are the small game terriers (patterdales - I hunt small game with them) and I have owned dogo arentinos for the last 15 years (I like to boar hunt). There is no finer animal than a well bred american pitbull terrier and there is virtually nothing they cannot do. [/quote]

Yeah, I think we are basically saying the same thing. When I used to live in Racine, WI I screened PB’s at the shelter. I have seen dogs literally scarred from head to toe that no one would ever adopt that just wanted to curl up next to you and be loved.

Dude, that’s part of what makes them a huge responsibility. You basically have to insure they never get loose and you have to watch them very carefully around other dogs. [/quote]

Well, they aren’t dog park dogs :slight_smile: Proper containment is paramount with a pitbull. I don’t allow my pitbulls to mix with any other dogs ever. The only time I can manage the situation is with a male / female pair while they are engaged on a boar, assuming they have been schooled on boar and know what they are there for. Walking thru the woods, they are on leash, and separate. Dogos we can cut loose in the woods. Pitbulls, no.

126

[quote]buddaboy wrote:
deserves to be fed to BG’s pitt bulls IMHO. …[/quote]

They would simply lick him to death. Dress him up like an animal and we might get some satisfaction.

127

[quote]Stern wrote:

[quote]WestCoast7 wrote:
Where’s the OP?

What’s the verdict?

UPDATE THE PEOPLE![/quote]

x2! Is Op in jail or what?
[/quote]
Maybe OP filed charges and can’t talk about it now, due to impending lawsuits and legal stuff…

128

[quote]koleah wrote:

[quote]Stern wrote:

[quote]WestCoast7 wrote:
Where’s the OP?

What’s the verdict?

UPDATE THE PEOPLE![/quote]

x2! Is Op in jail or what?
[/quote]
Maybe OP filed charges and can’t talk about it now, due to impending lawsuits and legal stuff…[/quote]

Or maybe the story was completely made up. I mean, who goes through something like that and IMMEDIATELY posts the scenario on T-Nation, instead of handling the situation like a man?

129

Just an idea … but why didn’t you hit him back ?

I’d imagine if I hit my father or if any of ye did, that is what would happen ?

Pressing charges is eh (wtf?)

Why not pack his stuff leave outside the front door and advise now he needn’t worry about any more keys.

T’will soften his cough fast enough a few cold nights on the street.

130

[quote]PonceDeLeon wrote:
Take a copy of his official scholarship papers (if he has them around) and piss on them while you call the cops to press charges. Teach him a lesson in poetry.

Seriously, pain is the best teacher. The BEST. Call the school he is going to and let the athletics director and/or dean know that he may be in trouble with the law for felony assault…and then casually ask if that could jeopardize his scholarship. Don’t explain what happened, but just ask if they’d like a copy of the police report to judge for themselves.

Then, file the report, and get a copy to mail to the people at his school.

A black eye heals. A repercussion like what could happen to him for shit like this? That’s a beautiful scar. Go for it and don’t be a fucking pussy.

Punishment should ALWAYS fit the crime.[/quote]

Really like ?

3-4 days homeless will soften him up, fucking up his life will not a lesson learn but make his anger intensify.

I can’t imagine he would assault his mother, I mean what guy would even dream of that, a new male I could see happening.

Please do not take this route - if you throw away his future what does he have left ? Join the local street gang perhaps ?

131

The Op has stated the kid lives in student accomodation and not at their house.

132

either press charges or buy a burial plot. he’ll pull that shit on the wrong person and get blown away.

133

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]makkun wrote:

[quote]bwbski wrote:
only thing holding me back is it may f up the rest of his life…[/quote]

Firstly, it’s him doing this, not you. Secondly, you may be doing him a favour in the long term by showing him his limits. No one normally moves on to attacking his immediate family without having tested his limitations before. If he doesn’t learn this late - next time someone might die. Go for it.

Makkun[/quote]

Again, you’re forgetting the unfair temporal aspect to this. A felony is a life altering thing. Normally, punishment involves “paying your dues”. A felony is a life long punishment. Until we change the laws regarding employer’s ability to ask and hire based upon criminal convictions, the unfairness will inherently be there.

You can argue the kid should do counseling, pay a fine, community service, even serve some jail time. But can you argue an 18 year old first offender should forfeit his ability to earn for the rest of his life? Is that your sense of justice?[/quote]

Being a victim of domestic violence is a life altering thing as well. At whatever age, this sounds like a serious and dangerous assault - people get killed or seriously injured in situations like this. I can’t comment on the intricacies for your legal system - but it’s there to deal with situations like this. BTW, in the UK, even if he wouldn’t press charges and the police got wind of this, they would charge him anyway. As has been pointed out, if he’s indeed a first time offender, and he gets appropriate support, he might get indeed off with counselling, community service, etc. - and that would be probably better; but it’s not for us to decide that, that’s what the law is there to do. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s not a longer history leading to this incident though, and then the temporal aspect what might be an abusive situation within the family would start playing a role as well.

Yet - if you ask me if my sense of justice has little mercy for someone who conducts what sounds like such a serious and unprovoked assault (on a family member), then yes, it is. I’ve got no tolerance for domestic violence - and it tends to thrive when appeased. But we’re jumping to conclusions probably without the full picture - but if it’s correct, then nothing justifies an attack like this.

And for everyone who advises to beat the boy up - what if he presses charges for such a revenge attack; or worse, uses a gun next time? Violence will just breed more violence.

Makkun

134

Just as someone else posted earlier, if the fiance starts to waffle, dude should dump her. Probably should anyway, since this is a situation of FFD(fucked-up family disorder).

135

How the hell did he beat the shit out of you? He couldn’t be that much bigger than you. Especially after he assaulted you fiancee…would of taken three guys to get me off of him.

136

Ahhhhhhh…helll nawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Mothertrucker be tripping. Ya’ll ass should just wait…wait until the time is right, you’ll know when.

Honestly you fucked up because you didn’t smack that bad ass bitch on the snout with a wet newspaper. I would have put a bullet in his thigh, but I guess not many people have access to a gun, but at least given him a nice punch to the liver and the side of his jaw.

Now, just play it cool like it never happened, when you catch the dude slippin’ stick your fist into the right side of his rib cage, when he drops to his knees, whisper in his ear that he’s lucky it was your fist and not your steak knife. And that if he ever tries tripping on you and his mama again he’ll be someone’s bitch for five years or be pushing up flowers.

137

OK then we’ll send the mother fucker to be dealt with by these guys that you guys know in Baltimore…

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]buddaboy wrote:
deserves to be fed to BG’s pitt bulls IMHO. …[/quote]

They would simply lick him to death. Dress him up like an animal and we might get some satisfaction. [/quote]

138

[quote]bwbski wrote:
only thing holding me back is it may f up the rest of his life…[/quote]

This is purely my 2 cents when trying to look at the situation with very limited knowledge, and trying to maintain an unbiased point of view.

The fact that you only included the immediate issues and what he did wrong, mentioning nothing about history or your own mistakes, makes me feel like you are leaning toward pressing charges and you psychologically need people on here to agree so that you can justify your actions, because you are a typical human (I dont profess to be anything less than an average guy, so dont take that the wrong way) that seeks acceptance from the masses instead of thinking things out and doing what needs done like a man, and figuring shit out before making a hasty decision based in the heat of the moment.

I dont think pressing charges is going to help your relationship with your future son/wife at all. Maybe there was something more behind why he was upset. Personally I think that getting in a fight and only getting a twisted ankle, cut, and broken nose is lucky considering what all could have taken place. Nose breaks arent that bad, wheras jaw and orbital breaks are a lot more serious.

Ive seen people never recover from getting charges, and others never get affected. I do think that if you ever want to be on good terms with him again that you should talk about it and figure it out without the law getting involved.

I am a brother. I have a 24 year old sister who just got married. I personally know that I had to approve the guy she married, because if I didnt my family would absolutely be split in two as I view things as a “you cant have us both” type situation when there is a major (like this type of thing) obstaclea in the relationship.

My favorite saying when it comes to women is that “you marry the girl, you also marry the family.”

One thing I dont get is why people are so quick to press charges all the fucking time. Seriously, man up and either solve shit one way or another or just drop it altogether. What are we, a bunch of fucking women who cant solve shit on our own? Call the police to end the situation immediately? Yes, good move. I personally applaud that. Press charges? For what reason? because you cant handle it yourself? Only you can answer that.

Recently I was pursuaded to avoid violence in my own personal situation, by a number of factors, and it is turning out well. So I woudlnt recommend fighting anymore unless you intend to make a complete enemy out of the kid.

Yeah youre pissed, but youre not looking at all the angles (Trust me I do this a lot. Its hard to look at your own situation and be unbiased. You gotta step back for a minute.). You gotta realize though that nobody absolutely goes ape shit on someone for getting locked out of the house when there is nothing wrong behind the scenes.

Dont listen to the fucks who say “yea bro, press charges.” They dont know the whole situation, and it sounds like you dont either. There are other ways to figure out what is going on and resolve the issue so that you dont make a hurried and poorly thought out decision.

So…I invite the masses to comment on my thoughts. Go ahead t-tards, internet hardasses, and self righteous puplic avengers, flame me! I couldnt give a fuck about you or your opinions because any response giving a plain black and white answer to a very grey situation is absolutely one hundred percent retarded and reflects low intelligence.

-Zep

EDIT: And, no, I didnt sift through the 7 or so pages of comments to gather the whole situation if it has been posted. If I were you, I would personally accept responsibility for my part, and nothing more, and get over it one way or another, wether that be in the court house or the back yard. Its what real men do in my estimation. Remember that every dispute has 2 sides to it. Best of luck to you. I hope that you make the right decision.

139

[quote]WhiteFlash wrote:

[quote]koleah wrote:

[quote]Stern wrote:

[quote]WestCoast7 wrote:
Where’s the OP?

What’s the verdict?

UPDATE THE PEOPLE![/quote]

x2! Is Op in jail or what?
[/quote]
Maybe OP filed charges and can’t talk about it now, due to impending lawsuits and legal stuff…[/quote]

Or maybe the story was completely made up. I mean, who goes through something like that and IMMEDIATELY posts the scenario on T-Nation, instead of handling the situation like a man?[/quote]

QFT

140

[quote]Zeppelin0731 wrote:

So…I invite the masses to comment on my thoughts. Go ahead t-tards, internet hardasses, and self righteous puplic avengers, flame me! I couldnt give a fuck about you or your opinions because any response giving a plain black and white answer to a very grey situation is absolutely one hundred percent retarded and reflects low intelligence.

-Zep
.[/quote]

you’re a pretty angry dude. good luck living with that. i know.