@whang @dagill @planetcybertron @magick @punnyguy @Voxel
Thank you guys so much
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Whenever I tried to change my behaviour in this regard wholesale, I failed. I’ve done behavioural changes in the passed that were all out and succeeded, but with this that approach caused me too much anguish. I’m only just starting out with this small, incremental, progressive overload type approach but it’s moving in the right direction.
You do not have to find an answer to this question, it is okay if you don’t, but is there something that you could do today or tomorrow that’d have your net calories for that day be higher than they otherwise would be?
Could you imagine having an apple extra? Could you imagine having a slightly lower step count? Could you imagine lounging instead of being on your feet at some point during the day? A luxury cup of coffee (one with calories in it)? Anything that you’d find acceptable that has the difference between calories in/calories out be a greater positive number than it’d otherwise be.
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Is this an excuse to have more cherries
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I’m not sure if you believe that your activity levels contra your caloric intake is what has been causing you all these problems. Do you?
If you do, great.
If you don’t, you still seem to be in a situation wherein you are basically obliged at this point to gain weight anyway. Let’s say you do, and your issues subside, that’d be fantastic. Let’s say you gain weight, and your issues do not subside, well, then you’d be able to tell us all off. Either way, win-win.
You seem to be interested in logic and science, so, view this as an opportunity to exclude a possible culprit as it were.
Yes!
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Yes, until I realized how much math science required 
@brute_fury has written in her log about overcoming similar issues in her youth. Her log is in the Powerful Women section.
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Math is the most precise science we have.
Wait you don’t like math? I better start a thread here that Anna_5588 is a fraud. An Asian fraud.
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My parents were about to let me major in Russian Studies and my brother (who’s actually good at maths) wants to do IR
OMG, Talk about a powerful woman! Brute is a total beast!!!
But I’m afraid that this is not the case here. I think thah Anna would do no matter what to sustain this body image. If she eats an extra apple she will do extra 200 burpies at least. The fact that she wouldn’t allow to gain even 1 kg concerns me. For this height is absolutely normal and healthy according to BMI to be about 45-50kg BW. 10-13% body fat for women are essentials- just not to die from starvation. In everyday life we should stay far from these digits for our own good.
p .p .I’m just another random internet girl too.
I’m too lazy for that
This was my worry also, hence my careful phrasing of the question, contingent on making her CICO-number be more > 0 than it otherwise would be.
Week 2: Day 5
10x(15 pushups+15 air squats+max battle ropes in rest of min+30sec rests)
Rows: 8x3-60kg
Technique: HS hold
- felt intense but good and quick, really fun, rows worked back but grip harder than anything.
Flying back to Pittsburgh tomorrow!!!
I don’t know how long ago it was, but when I have kids in, I generally have a parent accompany them the first time. I don’t have a problem with a 16-year-old who wants to come in without their mom, but it is mildly unusual. After the first time, some parents join in occasionally, others don’t. But again, that’s for a kid who’s 16 or under. 17 is a gray area, at 18 I don’t expect parents.
I would say that maybe half the time I can tell at the end of the first session that the client feels a strong rapport with me. The other half of the time we just go through it (what brought you in, family history, medical info, goals) and I may or may not have a sense of the client’s impression/feelings. In some cases the development of rapport and trust are slow. Some of my most successful client relationships started with me thinking it wasn’t going to work.
You really can’t tell in one or two sessions what kind of relationship it’s going to be, particularly as you’re protective/defensive of these behaviors and mindsets. Also, a great majority of the posters interacting with you in your log offer that you have an eating disorder, and I know I have floated the term “exercise anorexia.” You typically either blithely ignore these comments, or deflect with jokes. This is much harder to do sitting in a quiet room with someone’s reactions right in front of you. So I wonder if “condescending” might have actually been something more like “dubious”?
I work with several college students, and am well aware that they’re telling me as much of the truth as they want me to have. I had one in yesterday with an eating disorder and probable bipolar disorder. I started seeing her at the beginning of the summer, and she comes in now on breaks and if she’s home for whatever reason. Anyway, yesterday she disclosed a degree of dysfunction last summer that we absolutely did not talk about (drunk much of the time). We worked on the drinking - she did acknowledge that “it may be over the top” - but she was still defending that her mother’s reactions were a bigger problem than the drinking itself.
At one point the client reported having passed out at work, which freaked her mother, who had to come and get her, right out. She did talk about the episode, but presented it to me as that she “probably hadn’t had enough to eat” and “had been drinking the night before, but not that much” and “was probably dehydrated more than anything else.” Imagine what my face might have reflected during that conversation if her mother was in with us saying that she was very often drunk by midday?
A therapist is a great idea, but you can’t go in defensively, trying to game her. Go in without your parents and tell your view of things, the way you do here. As your relationship develops she’ll start acting as people here do: “you’re deflecting again.”
Also, let me acknowledge that when I’ve worked on teams, there have generally been one or two therapists that I really respected and could have worked with as a client. Not everyone is brilliant. There’s a therapist in my office building who is so bland and dense-seeming that I’m mystified that people go in and talk to her. Find someone you like. But try to be earnest. If you were to come into my office and play cat-and-mouse with me, you’d see something like polite boredom on my face, though boredom isn’t really the right word. Patience, maybe. A therapist in a room with a parent crying doom about their kid and the kid denying that there’s an issue is in a tough spot. Who are you going to call a liar or deluded lunatic?
Therapists (psychologists, licensed clinical social workers) diagnose as well. In today’s world, at least where I am, psychiatrists are used for medication management, which seems like Step II rather than Step I.
Your student health center can recommend someone, Anna.
(Also just a random internet person!)
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If what you’re doing isn’t working… try something else!
My advice is goals.
You have to keep your eye on the prize.
You ever watched this Dave Tate video?
I am not actually recommended what he ate here BUT! The principle is solid. You have to want to achieve the goal. I’m not just talking about lifting here. How bad do you want it? You just have to keep reminding yourself. And there will days you’ll say… fuck it! It’s not worth it, you just have to fight your way through them and plow on.
I don’t think a therapist is going to help you on this front. YOU need to help you. You need to actually set a goal and work your ass off to reach it. Just like you would lifting. You know you need to put on more body fat to get your hormone panel up and make your body work right again. That is the GOAL. Throw the damn scale away and make it happen! Don’t get caught up in looking in mirror every five minutes. @T3hPwnisher is right. There will be days when you will look more bloated and then it will go away. So don’t get caught up in the small stuff, keep your eye on the big picture.
I think if you will actually do it, you will be so impressed with your lifting you will kick yourself in the ass for not doing it sooner.
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This is super important, and worth highlighting. You can’t go seeking help with a chip on your shoulder and the intent to “prove them wrong.”
If you decide that you’re going to beat the therapist, you will, primarily because your success is dependent upon WANTING to be helped. If you seek help without being open to receiving it, you get nothing. It’s the same with mental health as it is with physical health. No different than an obese chain smoker that goes and sees a doc and decides that they’re an idiot because they want the patient to engage in lifestyle changes instead of just giving them a magic pill that makes it all better.
I would respectfully disagree. Distortions in thinking underlie issues like eating disorders (and addiction and OCD behaviors, which are related to ED’s). It’s helpful to have someone you trust go through the week with you and look at what happened and why - it’s like a Monday morning review of Sunday’s big game. You watch the video, see where things went sideways, rewind and slow it down to look at it again, then draw circles and arrows that indicate what you’ll do next time.
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@anna_5588 so what are your own thoughts after having read so many of us weigh in with our thoughts and opinions? What do you feel is in the cards for you in the near future?
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No, you’re not…
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