On a tangent, abstract algebra study group turned into a mini therapy session yesterday.
The group leader commented that I was “acting the dumb blonde” when interacting in the server. He said that I treat the other members, the comp sci ppl and my friends with “too much deference”
The truth is that they are objectively better than me at maths and I don’t want to come off as arrogant or fall for Dunning Krueger
I think he does have a point though. I might be actually be unconsciously “playing dumb”. For as long as I remember, I’ve gotten the feeling that ppl treat me like a little sister either intellectually or emotionally- including my little bro btw. It’s never bothered me bc the side effect is that ppl help me ;however, now that I’m an adult, it’s starting to bother me a bit sine it also means I’m not being taken seriously. I’m becoming increasingly aware of behaviours that give off this image, maybe this maths thing is the same??
Upon further inspection, I think one thing that sets my friend (the one I always talk about) apart from my other friends is that he helps me but also seems to treats me as an equal and forces me to live up to that
This was a hard thing for me to do with my dad especially. The toxicity was nowhere near the level some folks here have experienced, but once I realized many of his actions were/are driven by his own need for validation due to…whatever, things became much easier. I stopped trying to walk on eggshells around him (I don’t succeed at that all the time) and started focusing more on my own happiness. It helps to recognize that toxicity.
But, that toxicity travels with you, I now live ~1300 miles away and it still affects our relationship.
Also, I agree with all that is said above. No relationship is perfect and the best ones take constant work one is happy to do because of the respect/love/admiration one has for the other person.
This is his brash way of saying you know more than you think you do and should contribute as such. Selling one’s self short is trademark of a lot of intelligent people. I attribute it sometimes to how society treats “nerds” but I don’t know for sure.
As far as making good friends, jumping into the sorority life will make you lifelong friends. There is a reason members are referred to as “sisters”. I know some of the social obligations seem cheesy, but they offer opportunity to get to know one another.
My fraternity brothers are just that, brothers, and even though I haven’t seen many of them in years I know we could pick up a conversation like it was any other Friday night back in school.
Yeah, I think you’re so worried about coming across as arrogant or falling into the Dunning-Kruger effect that you’re coming out the other side into Imposter Syndrome, which is something that quite often afflicts smart, capable people, especially ones who have self-esteem issues already. The problem is that smart, capable people who work to educate themselves realize how much there actually is to know about a subject, whereas short-sighted, ignorant people can watch a 90 minute Youtube video and think they’re an expert on the subject. I really don’t think you’re in danger from the Dunning-Kruger side of things. Of course you can’t know everything about a topic, but nobody can! Don’t let that stop you from flaunting what you do know and participating in the discussion!
100% this. Be confident in the things you know and the skills you’ve picked up. For no other reason than the fact that learned helplessness is a thing.
Bench: 1x5-30kg, 1x4-35kg, 1x6-40kg, 2x6-45kg, all reps paused
supersetted first three sets w/ 10 DB flyes- 10lb Dbs
Pullups: 2x4 (to make up for missed flyes)
4x(5 good mornings-40kg+20 pushups)
Press (for fun)- 1x2-40kg, IDK if that’s a PR but pretty happy considering all the bench work
first day of Sheiko done! Funny thing is that it’s LESS squat work than I had been doing, so weird bc I remember being crushed by the volume the first time around, squats moved extremely well and quite surprised, was supposed to do 5x10 flyes but flyes hurt my shoulders- might sub them out for pullups in the future (in addition to the pullups supersetted w/ squats since pullups are a bigger goal anyways and Sheiko doesn’t have a lot of back work, might do some rows too.
Overall plan:
Sheiko mon, wed, fri
Easy Cardio or some type of conditioning (depends on feel): Tuesday or Thursday
Front squats and Presses: Saturday
Will aim to do a very quick conditioning thing (ie 1 round of tabata, some stairs…) every workout day
I’ve read your log for quite some time, and leaving dietary concerns aside momentarily I’ve on occasion wondered if you possibly have ADHD. Have you considered this yourself?
The reason I mention this is because eating disorders rarely present by themselves. There tends to be a comorbidity which drives the behaviour and the eating disorder is a way to escape feelings of unease that stem from something else.
I’ve had my first chat at a clinic dedicated to eating disorders and that’s where I learned this.
ADHD is one of those comorbidities. At the clinic I was screened for ADHD and autism and the preliminary screening indicates that it’d be warranted to investigate both of them.
Personally, I’m quite positive I have ADHD given how I react to the medication that is prescribed for that diagnosis. They are stimulants, and yet when I take them I can breathe a sigh of relief and calm down. Literally. I’ve heard my self let go of that relaxing breath that I rarely — if ever — find elsewhere.
Notably, with regards to this forum and you in particular is that I’ve noticed that my level of physical activity on these medications go down. I’ve only tried a short-acting medication which lasts about 6 hours and after the effect has worn off I’m without a doubt doing something physical.
If I’m not heading to the gym, or to go climbing, I’ll inevitably be doing something. To the demise of my physical recovery from other training is that that something will be exercise of some form. Pushups, cossack squats, handstands, balancing on one leg in an RDL holding it for a pause, etcetera. It appears as if the “hyper” aspect has for me become tangled up with actively exercising as opposed to fidgetting which leads to too much exercise.
And for what it is worth, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out I’m autistic.
oh, I don’t think that my version is more optimal- it isn’t.
Front squat and presses were my way of making it more fun for me bc I’m not disciplined enough bough to take off days and too lazy to do conditioning. I guess they’re off the table then
I know I’m on the spectrum, I’m not so sure about adhd though bc I don’t have trouble focusing on class, my time management is good, I stay organized and I’m not actually hyperactive. The activity I do is intentional. if I could get stronger and stay lean just lying on the couch, I would
I do have trouble sticking to training programs, can get overexcited and used to be extremely impulsive. Actually, I exhibited more adhd symptoms Pre eating disorder
Side note: I’ve been feeling good about my squats but after reading some logs and considering my bodyweight, I’m still weak af… I can’t even squat 2x bodyweight, deadlift 3x or bench 1.5x which were levels I either hit or was very close to hitting pre pandemic
The only thing that’s actually improved is my press and pull-ups, but I just don’t value those exercises as much as squat or deadlift.
Just when I start feeling good about myself, I always get a nifty reminder on the contrary… I guess it’s good not to get complacent though
These same comments and concerns come up every month.
If you can find it in yourself to do the Sheiko program as it’s written and spend your off days actually recovering, you have so much potential.
oh, I don’t think that my version is more optimal- it isn’t.
I can’t even squat 2x bodyweight, deadlift 3x or bench 1.5x which were levels I either hit or was very close to hitting pre pandemic