You’re always better at something than anyone you meet.
Everyone you meet is better than you at something.
If you want to ‘win’ at human top trumps just pick the right attribute to compare.
But ideally just don’t spend your mental energy playing human top trumps.
So, @anna_5588 in reading through these trials and tribulations, I’ve often wondered, how important is this education to you?
What education are you referring to?
The one you’re enrolled at a university for.
I’m not using air quotes or being metaphorical.
I want to go into academia, so mandatory. I also love school
Not all of the course content will be directly useful (diff eq) but I do think being able to interact with professors and ppl like my friend has taught me a lot- including that maths is cool. Plus, since I don’t plan on going into an office job that has nothing to do with my major, most of the coursework I’m taking right now is relevant
I feel that your viewing everything as a means to an end is harmful. I could be wrong, but I feel like you and @SkyzykS are talking about different things.
Ok. So is the education important to you though?
Like is there a drive to become educated and to elevate your mind, or is the education a vehicle to an accomplishment?
Is your motivation intrinsic or extrinsic?
You are correct.
Well, no, I really love school/research and am extremely happy that I have the option to go into academia. If I were more motivated by having a means to an end, I’d go into finance. My comments about being directly useful is more to deal with the argument some ppl have that higher ed is a waste of $
very.
both. I am intrinsically motivated to do research and to learn BUT I hate being mediocre
I wouldn’t really call them trials and tribulations. It’s not like I have real life stress to deal with (ie financial stress, kids, abuse…)
You know that financial success is not the only end, though it is popular. Approaching life robotically is not exclusive to those working on Wall Street.
Yeah, I’m not making a value judgment. Just examining the motive.
Like a friend of mine. He went into medicine to help people and has a love of learning. He became a professor to continue to educate and had a multiplicative effect of helping. As a side benefit, he is also a continuous learner and universities allow faculty to continue to educate themselves freely. So as careers go it was a win at all levels.
It can be good for focus to examine and clarify these things.
Also, Distress is somewhat relative. Like, I went to school with a kid who’s life’s dream was to have a perfect academic record and go to Harvard. He wore a tie and carried a briefcase starting in like 4th grade.
And he was doing it! Living out his life’s dream every day, one step closer to the ultimate accomplishment. Then in the last grading period of 11th grade, he got a B. He was devastated. He fought it, appealed it, begged and pleaded but that B stayed a B.
So he hung himself.
For him that B was devastating. Literally the end of everything.
Meanwhile, I’d already been expelled from one school, had a heart to heart with the principal at the one I was attending wherein we agreed he would give me a diploma if I promised not to come back, and was facing 25 years worth of felony and assault charges related to drug activities.
But there I was. Not dead.
Relative.
I read an article about all stress is perceived by the human brain as stress. Basically it can be just as stressful for one person to lose their shoe as another person to lose their job.
To some of the other points coming up, I get where you’re at: I hate not being the best at things that pay my bills. Nobody is the best, though. It doesn’t exist. I think eventually you start trying to learn to enjoy the journey or there’s no point; there’s really only one finish line, you know.
As I’ve said before: if you think you’re awesome, go ahead and resign and see who they replace you with. It’s kind of freeing to realize how fleeting this all is.
Soapbox complete… for now!
Absolutely true. And physical stress manifests itself the same way in the brain. Anna’s stress is very possibly coming in small or large part from her training as much as from anything else.
I haven’t kept up enough to be real familiar with her training, but I know I’ve seen enough concern throughout the site that maybe it’s time for a change.
Any training can add to stress, because of the way the CNS is involved. As a very small human who lifts very heavy in proportion to her size, she is using an inordinate amount of her CNS as compared to muscle mass. That is my layman’s guess, anyway. Makes sense in my head.
Not that I think Anna has crippling stress or anything, not from what I read here.
I hate this fucking term. The only “real life” there is is the one you are living. School, training, eating, sorting out familial issues are real stressors in your life. Those stressors will shift and change as your life does too, but it doesn’t make anything about them any less real. My two-year-old’s life is hella stressful for him at times, and his life is wildly different than mine, but it’s still his “real life” and cannot be compared to anyone else’s or some arbitrary baseline.
Kids have it rough. Everybody is bigger than you, you have to scream to get anything done, the freakin dog takes your food at will, theres pants pooping, it never ends.
If a person can make it through toddlerhood they have a pretty good chance at doing ok in the world.
I once had it described as “like handing someone from 1885 an Xbox control and expecting them to play Halo”
You don’t think it’s a waste of money because you think it propels you on some calculated path toward an academic career that, to you, seems highly predictable and calculable.
I feel like you’re saying this because that’s what you’re “supposed to say.” I think you should be honest. I don’t think any of us are trying to make moral judgements. I know I’ve discussed this at length before, but if you value your current experience mostly or solely because it seems like it will land you in some prestigious position that garners respect from others (I know you’re probably going to backfire and say that this is absolutely not the case), then that’s okay to admit. You’re not the only one who feels this way, and both industry and academia are brimming with this perspective. Some people do fine with this.
The thing is that based on your posts here, you are miserable. If you’re already comparing yourself to your peer who happened to publish a paper as an undergraduate, then I don’t foresee graduate school, where there are significantly more opportunities to compare research output to peers, being a positive experience for you. Most undergraduates are not publishing first author papers.
You may think you know your friend super well, but you don’t know everything that goes on behind the scenes. For better or for worse, academia, like other types of jobs, relies heavily on connecting with other human beings. Make of this what you will – most human beings, regardless of whether they’re a Nobel Prize-winning professor at an R1 university or someone working a “mediocre” office job, are not eager to interact with robots. That can make a difference.
Again, if you think this perspective works for you, by all means keep going. I simply don’t think it’s working, and I don’t think it will work in the future. I could be wrong. I don’t know what gave you this point of view. Maybe your family, maybe friends, maybe society. I don’t know. Maybe you don’t really know either. All I can say is that I suspect that this viewpoint is at least partially responsible for your physical and mental unhealthiness, and honest conversations with a professional and your family could help.