You don’t have control on whether or not you go to school?
No, shadow boxing. It’s a workout video thing. I pushed the conditioning pretty hard (lots of anger), but I’ve found that I always feel better after it. Gets blood flowing to my hw upper back, which is tight
Maybe idk
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Dude my flight has been cancelled like 5 times now. Last chance to visit my parents before I get stuck with work come July
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She’s the one paying. My summer research grant (if I get it) is 3500, which means she technically can’t make a financial arguments since the cost of me renting summer housing is equivalent to going back to China (if possible)
But, she’d still have to pay for other expenses and in her words “you can’t put a price on safety”
Do you feel unsafe because of your ethnicity? If your mom is in China, what she’s hearing may not be aligned with what it’s actually like where you’re from (I don’t know where you’re from).
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No.
We both wish she was. I’d have a barbell and she’d be able to work
She’s in the US with me but I think most of her news comes from articles shared by worried parents who are in China
Missed this, but yeah… I spend wayyyy too much time here.
Typically that’s either because I’m bored or unhappy. I’ve been both.
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I work at home on my computer now so I’m quite easily distracted lol
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I’m just tired of everything. I wish I could just spend a couple of days curled up in bed or on the sofa, eat everything and watch movies(maybe also read a couple of papers while I’m at it)
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Trust me, I really feel you right now.
But I feel like forcing you to do something productive will help you as well. Do some chores. Go for a walk while listening to a podcast.
Trust me yesterday spending 3 hours at the gym with people did uplift my mood a lot
I’ve been watching some TV actually also (Sex Education on Netflix), I like it
cleaned the kitchen every morning and cook
I do that for an 60-75min after my workout every morning
ohh yeah, it’s pretty good. I usually don’t watch TV for the sake of watching TV. I play it in the background while doing rote tasks
One thing I really need
I’ve been quite productive, but getting stuff done isn’t making me as happy as it used to. I completed two projects, an RA task and homework ahead of schedule; I’ve been attending club meeting, reading a lot of papers… Usually, I’d be happy, but not recently
Why can’t you?
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THere’s too much to do and I can’t get the time back:
Finished homework? better do more practice problems or read papers or work on another task
Finished those? should be reading papers or looking ahead+ you can never do too much practce
Semester over? well time to work on research project
Advisor being slow? time to study for GRE and study probability theory
Stuck on probability theory? find a tutor
One of those things to do is to take care of your mental health. And you definitely don’t get that time back.
I took mental health days in college. I was advised to do so by a therapist. It was a good thing.
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As someone who has fallen into this same cycle previously, I feel like I can share a tip here.
While I was in college I picked one night and following morning where I did nothing related work, career, chores, etc. For me, this was Friday night into Saturday mornings.
I used this time to decompress, alleviate stress (sometimes I did this by working out, but since working out causes you stress - don’t do that), and just generally give myself some breathing room. It’s a tremendous help for a healthy mental state.
Pick something to do that is just fun or pleasurable. If you want to feel productive, study a topic that isn’t related to your chosen field. Pick up a hobby - I have been looking at getting into building terrariums and gardening as it is fairly inexpensive and the life cycle is kind of fascinating to me, but there are so many to choose from (this link is a cool list and not limited to men only 75+ hobbies for men).
I know you don’t see it now (because I didn’t when I was in college) but you are significantly ahead of most people your age.
On the topic of weight - you are finally close to a healthy weight. Stop worrying about how you look and worry about how you feel.
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Just to continue on this, I love the term “mental health” because it frames it perfectly.
If you had a stomach bug and stuff was coming out both ends of you, you wouldn’t go “It doesn’t matter: I GOTTA get to school” and spend the whole day puking on your classmates: you’d stay home in bed. It’s no different than when your brain is broken and you got bad stuff coming: you stay home and heal.
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Im just gonna chime in here with regards to the mental health thing here and i believe that physical health ties into it too…i never went to college so i dont know what that kind of workload and stress is like. But i have been working since i was 12, construction since i was 16 and have become a multi-trades person too. Im a husband and a father, my wife has many health issues and we have had our fair share of challenges. I may not know the college workload, but i absolutely understand stress and how your mind can be affected.
When i was younger, i rarely took sick days from work no matter how sick i was. Stress/anxiety/depression? Too bad…go to work or deal with whatever it you have to do that day. You dont get to take time off from being a parent or a spouse…but at the same time, you do need to take a me day now and again. Pwn was right when he said you dont get that time back. So if you can take a me day, you should
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I do take time to learn about exercise science and medicine (the Institute of Human Anatomy channel is really cool)
I also draw, cook and blog. Maybe I need a mindset shift? recategorizing them as “rest”
good point.
For the first part - I don’t think that is helpful with your current body image issues.
Drawing, cooking and blogging are all good. A mindset shift is definitely needed. If these are hobbies, they can’t be done really on any set schedule. Once they are scheduled and placed on the “must do or else” list, the purpose is defeated.
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If you don’t take care of your health now you’re going to lose a lot of time later, that you’re not going to get back.
The irony is that a lot of your thoughts are centered around the future, success and producitvity and yet you don’t see this connection. That is sad.
You’re 18/19 right? I’m not gonna tell you how to live your life, nor would I know how, but you’re not gonna get your youth back. Sounds cliche but it’s true. Try to open up your mind to different things and go easier on yourself. If you suddenly found yourself on your death bed, you wouldn’t wish you had read more papers and studied more, would you?
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