good point…
I’ll stick to technical training/nutrition stuff on this log
This might seem heartless as far as replies goes but, re-read this is my only suggestion,
When I first found this log, or maybe it’s previous reincarnation, I remember reflecting on your mom and sympathising with you that your surroundings didn’t understand but as I’ve come to realise with regards to my own situation the one out of the loop wasn’t everyone else around that all sang the same song but it was I who was out of lockstep.
In the same way as success leaves clues, when everyone is resoundly in unison it might be best to heed their advice regardless of whether or not how it resonates with you. We aren’t trying to gaslight you and it seems like everyone is worried about you except for maybe you. Or maybe all of this is indeed causing you quite a lot of stress to hear, repeatedly, and that is also manifesting itself physically. The solution isn’t to care less about it, nor necessarily stop posting about it, as per
but I sincerely implore you to seek help. I don’t know if this is a body-image disorder, a self-harming behaviour, or anything else really but you seem stuck in it although I acknowledge that you are trying. You’ve accomplished amazing things despite it all, your relative strength to your bodyweight is truly astounding, it’d be so interesting to see what you could accomplish if your mental ails weren’t impeding you.
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You guys aren’t. I think continuing to post about my mental struggles is pretty pointless and I shouldn’t subject the community to my problems
Yeah, I’ve been trying. Things just flare up and I end up reverting back to old mindsets
Well, if you are talking to someone, online community or not, that’s better than talking to no one. Are you talking to anyone else about this at all? I don’t think you are subjecting the community to anything. At least that is my perspective. Some people have already left words here for you about their abscence, but clearly they nevertheless read so writing here is not making anyone care any less about you at any rate.
And, even if you were to self-censor, I recognize that most of us would already be aware of the background and the context in which our advice might be misconstrued.
From my own issues, and being around others, and having had significant others with various struggles it’s disempowering to see someone suffer for long durations of time and one feels even more powerless when disconnected digitally. It’s not something I imagine humans are well-equipped to handle, especially in relation to other more immediate concerns that are physically adjacent to us.
This is your log, and it’s for you. Write whatever you feel you want to.
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It always kind of chills me when people shut down. Practically speaking, I’ve seen this a lot in recovery. Some people are really critical of a person who shows up to a meeting drunk or high, like “you have to be [-this-] sober to come through These doors.”. But they showed up. Sometimes for years. And eventually they get it. My one buddy did this for like 7 or 8 years, but now he’s one of the most helpful and understanding people I’ve ever met.
Forgive the lack of terminology, but- Relief from the bondage of self is one of, if not the hardest thing a person can ever hope to achieve. It requires an almost terminal level of determination, violence of action, and perseverance.
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I got all the advice I need hundreds of posts ago. I just need to work on implementing it, which you guys can’t help with
I honestly cannot express how much the Tnation community has helped me over these past couple of years
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Week 3: Day 3
Sprints: 5x40m
1-10- squats, lunges w/25lb kb
1-arm pushup: 1x7/side!, 3x6/side
Rows: 3x5/side gorilla row-45lbs
- Math exam today, and it destroyed me- took twice as long as it should have. It also threw off my schedule → more stress. Feeling better now as I figured out a question so I have a chance of passing now
- lots of nervous energy going into the workout and went quite well. Sprints felt a bit stiff, but I still feel like I’m getting faster, had no patience for pistols so I took a page out of @dagill2’s book for leg work- a LOT harder than expected, good effort considering I used weight and with a heat index of 41C, really happy w/ pushup PR, rows still suck
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Planned to run today, but felt pretty destroyed and I’m not pwn
Wanted to do kB caries but grip shot???
I’m considering throwing in weighted walks. I did a quick search on Amazon and weighted vests are VERY reasonably priced. I’m actually considering pulling the trigger (mum’s having surgery on Thursday and will be out so I can have it shipped then)
@dagill2 Should I get one?
A weighted vest, particularly an adjustable one, would be a big benefit to your training, although I’m not sure on the benefits of weighted vest walks for you.
I’d advise against the idea of trying to go behind your mums back in general, from this distance it seems like the trust is already lacking in that relationship.
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Good on you for listening to your body. I think you need that more than you need to overexert yourself.
I don’t know how a weighted vest walk would benefit you, but I imagine if you got a vest with enough weight, you could get more out of your current lifting situation. Could be good especially for the lunges you’re already doing. But I agree that hiding this from your mother probably would not benefit you in the long run. If anything, it might 100% keep you from getting a gym membership in the future rather than 98% or however unlikely it already seems…
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Haha 
it’s 100% unlikely regardless with her compromised immune system and my compromised kidney (s). I did a walk by of the gym (an LA fitness) and the members were definitely NOT following safety protocols. It’s also actually a longer route than I expected so time wise it wouldn’t work either with the compromises I’ve had to make regarding my exercise duration/intensity
Week 3: day4
60min easy run- nose breathing
- felt really, really good and easy, especially in the last 20min, will go longer next time
@T3hPwnisher where did you get the nose breathing technique from? (Sorry, don’t want to clog up your log)
A specific technique is needed to breath through one’s nose? Wow, I might just be naturally gifted at it.
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Pwn has a thing where he keeps his mouth closed through the duration of the run. I tried it last run and this one and it feels really good
Not Pwn, but I was taught to nose breath while running through muay thai and boxing. The purpose was to teach you to keep your mouth closed when huffing air so you don’t get knocked out as easily.
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Thanks! Given pwns interest in martial arts, that makes sense.
I’m pretty sure he has me muted 
It’s not a technique. High school biology I guess? Your nose is a filter for bad stuff in the air. Breathing through the nose is almost always better than the mouth.
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Hey Anna sorry to hear about your mum, difficult times for you and your family, hope you’re able to stay positive and keep well!
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Thank you so much!
I hope your wife is okay too.
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